This is so funny, The fact that he sat there thinking up all these analogies makes me like him.Plus people who own Jeeps are automatically cool in my book.
On a more serious note, isn’t America almost like this esp. with the UN thing? She’s still the only country that hasn’t signed the Kyoto protocol among other UN resolutions(like that cap on emissions thing).
porkpie – That would actually be a bad idea because if he and his girlfriend were confined to his truck then they’d have nothing to do but make lots of little Dylans. Dumbasses like him are not very good at birth control.
I have a dream, that this simple minded miscreant doe indeed gain acceptance to the army. That the army in it’s infinate wisdome packs him off to a country with sand, muslim targets and big manly JEEPs. That he is lightly injured by a IED while the rest of his squad including his gay lover (don’t ask don’t tell) are turned into hamburger. That he is captured and tortured daily by a big guy with a bigger beard named mohummad who has a thing for seeing the ivory glint of bone peeking thru the skin. That very last thing he sees is the destruction of his country by far right republican dipshits like himself.
I’m from Spain; I live in a town with a major US Navy and Air Force presence. As much as I try to remind myself that Americans like Dylan are the exception and not the rule, I have, unfortunately, met far too many over the years who talk just like that. *sigh*
And yes, though this may be sarcasm, and I hope to God it is, these types do exist.
When I took the ASVAB, I met a kid wanting to join the Marines to, and I quote, “Kill me some rag heads”. Needless to say, he ended up getting a 29 on the ASVAB, which was *barely* enough to pass (he had failed on his 2 previous attempts).
While, as a man of peace, I in no way condone Dylan’s “kill everyone and everything routine I do agree with him in 2 places:
1. Global warming is obvious bunk. Doesn’t anyone remember the blizzards in Washington DC this winter? Record snowfalls everywhere. It’s a hoax used to funnel money into liberal elitist colleges and think tanks, as well as put the treehuggers into power.
2. America needs to return itself to its previous stature, when we were the best country in the world. The only way to do that is to go back to the Christian roots of this country and instill a renewed sense of faith in her citizens. If the public school systems of this country continue to propagate liberal lies (e.g. evolution, global warming) and de-emphasize faith (e.g. taking prayer out of school), then we as citizens have no choice but to turn to private learning institutions and (preferably) home schooling.
i’ve kept this in long enough, but i can’t keep swallowing my tongue.
for the last week or two dan has been messaging me (he managed to get hold of my email address through my url link), and you wouldn’t believe the kind of smut this guy has been sending me.
whilst his posts portray him as a right-wing absolutist with a strict sense of proper morality, the stuff he’s been sending me show an altogether darker side to his personality.
i don’t want to go into detail about the content of his messages – i wouldn’t want to besmirch these good-natured forums with his unseemly language – but suffice to say, just about every morally questionable practice imaginable has been mentioned by him in his missives over the past couple of weeks.
hopefully now people can understand if i’ve been prone to being a bit splenetic and ill-humoured whenever he’s reared his head on these boards.
dan, please stop now. i’m not easily offended, but you’re really starting to go beyond the pale – my friends have to use that email address too.
I think this guy’s grammar is too god for him to be that ignorant. I mean… although these analogies are quite disgusting, they are funny in a way because it’s kinda how America treats foreign policy. Which means this guy knows his shit, or else he’s be like:
“america fuck ya!!!1 die dirty arabian dipshit LOL… IMMA GONNA KILL ME SUM PALESTINIANS”
Instead of listing a bunch of analogies that kinda apply to the system with much dark humor. I mean usually the kind of Americans that are Republican Conservative don’t think these things up, they mostly just justify themselves through God or something.
So yeah… I think this is probably taken out of context and the person has a very dark and awesome sense of humor.
@ alordslums Considering the subject matters that come up on lamebook, you saying you won’t put what he’s said on the forum either means you’re making it up or it is VERY bad. Because it does get quite gruesome in these comments sections usually.
@ivy – alord is not getting any emails from me. He is trying to annoy me into saying something impious. Unfortunately for him, I find his babble to be amusing more than anything. Let us remember Exodus 23:1 – Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.
@alordslums – if indeed someone is sending you pornography, I suggest you contact the ISP or domain owner. I believe (although I could be mistaken) that disseminating explicit material to someone is illegal and/or a breach of that persons service agreement with their email provider. In any case, you should contact the authorities if it is bothering you.
@64 – i don’t. but he was pretty vitriolic about a few barbs i’d been throwing his way on here (and seemed to remember a lot of things very specifically). could still have been someone else though.
@65 – i could just post it on here in full – but there’d be nothing to prove that it was what he’d sent me by email and not just something i’d written.
anyway, this is between me and fargis. i want to hear him apologise. don’t you think his post (#57) are the words of a guilty man..? it sounds to me like he’s gloating. like a murderer that thinks he can’t get fingered.
“but the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, AND ALL LIARS, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
that would worry you if you actually were who you said you were. it’ll all come out on judgment day.
numba 77 is me an 82 an 83 anit soup an rodo ur telin the rong yoink i neva sed fannyflapbuttlick im english fanny meens nufink like wat it meens in america it dunt meen anyfing to do wiv your ass also the word butt should giv it away that anit a very used word in england its an american fing so i dunt say butt point haaaaaaaa suck on that fat jucy one you name steelin wanka!!!!!!!!
But isn’t he being totally sarcastic? I mean there are all the things America does. There are all the things America is. Stupid, ignorant… busting through walls, breaking down buildings, effing up everyone’s lives and then expecting all the other countries to be grateful.
” You make us angry, we smash the crap out of everything.”
” Build a wall in a vain attempt to protect themselves.”
That is what we already do. His words, his sarcasm. There’s no way he is actually for all of this.
@MsBuzzkillington – America is stupid and ignorant? I’m pretty sure this is the best educated country in the world. If we have gotten dumber it is because the liberals have poisoned the minds of the younger generations with their anti-God tripe.
This guy’s a jerk, not because of all the idiocy he wrote as his “vision of America”, but because he took a brief moment of his bragging about the jeeps he’s had-time to mention in passing he also happens to have a girlfriend.
Dylan could have his ideal America, but this country has two-term limits, so W. can’t be president again. Repeal term limits, get your ‘utopian America’, Dylan. I won’t hold my breath.
@dan_fargis- Lots of countries are beating America in the education department, including many that aren’t Christian-based, and don’t allow religion in schools. And some of the worst school districts in America are in the most religious-oriented areas.
Carbon its actually Finland that has the best education system in the world, although UNICEF rated South Korea as the ‘most effective’ system of education. The UK came 7th with USA a lowly 18th out of 24.
joke [johk] –noun
1. something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act
sarcasm [sahr-kaz-uhm] –noun
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.
funny [fuhn-ee] –adjective
1. providing fun; causing amusement or laughter; amusing; comical: a funny remark; a funny person.
2. attempting to amuse; facetious: Did you really mean that or were you just being funny?
And for the rest of you that doesn’t take this stuff to seriously = <3
It’s people like Dylan that make America what it is. We have the America-loving, gun-toting, Hummer-driving people to balance out this new wave of Americans that constantly say, “I’m moving out of America if _____ get’s elected/happens.” ‘Cause, Lord knows, complaining about something while taking no action at all is the best way to make change. Dylan spices things up a bit.
Obviously you haven’t had a political conversation with an irate conservative. If we were all fair and peaceful then there’d be no fun. Hell, my family will purposely bring up politics just because it’s funny to see my grandfather scream about illegals and Obama, and then hear him yell at the brave few that say they disagree.
@Brah: I come from a family of die-hard right-wingers who would take Dylan’s “joke” quite seriously. My uncle once ordered my cousin out of the house, calling her a “commie,” after she made the revelation that she’d voted Democrat the year prior. And this at Thanksgiving. Usually it’s hilarious to sit and watch the noise level escalate and screaming start, because everyone’s arguing the same points. I think if someone admitted they were a fan of either Obama or Steve Spurrier, they might die.
After moving to southeast Asia, it really sucks to see how hated we Americans are, even by our allies. I love my country, and hate that sometimes I wish I could fake an Australian accent to avoid some of the vitriol thrown my way.
Dylan didn´t write that, it´s far too well-written. And it is kind funny…my guess is this is something someone else wrote, aimed at conservative idiots like Dylan. Sadly, he thought it was for real and agreed so much, he posted it on his wall…
This is obviously one of those emails that travels around that has just been copied and pasted into his profile. Seems like overly sarcastic hilarity to me. “Oh yeah!”
He clearly loves his country, and I greatly respect him if he is indeed choosing to give up years of his life to protect it.
Oh, and clearly the Obama administration is doing a stellar job. 46% approval rating? I was never great at math, but I think that is lower than half right? And 38% approval from Independents? Impressive.
I don’t get the America hate. I’ve been to Europe–they can be every bit as rude, obnoxious, and white trash as the most Southern Americans. And I say that as a person whose Christmas dinner had a political “debate” that was anything but Christ-like.
Like I said, it just seems popular to hate America now even though more than half its population isn’t anything like the stereotypes.
I haven’t been to Europe, but I’m pretty sure the assholes of the world like to take holy pilgrimage to the Philippines, where even basic morality takes a backseat to money when it comes to foreigners. Seriously, you come to a tropical country after “finding ‘love’ on the internet,” and demand that a poor family with no electricity boil mineral water every day for your hot bath? Just so I can detect swamp ass AFTER you’re done bathing, and cringe at the Midchester Thunderdogs football chest tattoo that was probably hot at 20, but not on some 60-year-old man titties? Thanks, but no thanks.
But sure enough, here, white skin = American! Land of the free, home of the dickhead.
So im a bit late commenting, catching up on my reading haha. But, to the people who think he is joking, sorry, HES NOT JOKING. He’s joining the army? Come on guys. Someone wanting to ge into the “defence” force is much more likely to actually be serious about something like that, than trying to be ironic. If he was being ironic he would disagree with the ideas and values of the army rather than joining up. And as for him being “too intelligent” to seriously have those opinions, based on spelling and grammar, being intelligent does not mean you automatically dont have really shit, fucked up opinions. But as clarified above, apparently he got it off a forward anyway so he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.