Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dumpkin

previous post: Oh No! Photos!

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89 Comments

  1. I like most, if not all of this.

  2. Just read through it again. I like all of it.

  3. I especially like how vague Marcus’ comment is. I take it to mean he had some big thing planned where he’d have a threesome at a turkey farm with Monica’s sister and her best friend and arrange to have her accidentally walk in on it. Then he’d be like, “Happy Thanksgiving, bitch! We through!”

  4. Oh I thank God facebook wasn’t around when I was a teenager. I would hate to embarrass myself like this.

  5. lol @ Dan

  6. way to admit to being fingerbanged and dumped.

  7. I wonder what he does at thanksgiving..

  8. I don’t get why people have to make a big fuss about the break-up on the Facebook notification itself. Just fucking do it in person.

    For some reason Ed’s story made me think of Marcus like a dirty Linus from Peanuts.

  9. He thumbbangs at a turkey farm.

  10. Yeah, I’m sure “stuffing” is involved.

  11. Yes Brit hobo thats why it is on the site called LAMEbook, if they didn’t make a big fuss on facebook, it probably wouldnt be on here.
    ALso, FINGERBANG BANG, BANG BANG, FINGERBANG BANG, BANG BANG BANG!

  12. To give a little perspective, I imagine that most men would rather get a blowjob and be dumped half an hour later, than just get dumped. Maybe Marcus was trying to be considerate in a twisted way?
    I would love to know what Marcus’ thanksgiving looks like.

  13. @mad

    Let’s not get started on blowbies again!

  14. I’d like to hear more about this blowjob thing. For example do women practice? Perhaps on fruit? And what about gag-reflexes?

  15. Hey Shelley, poopaloop wants to talk to you.

  16. I’m running out of comments.. fuck.

    “You stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey, didn’t ya!?”

    ~Liar Liar

    More blowjob talk? Wut

  17. Fine quest, if you prefer. Most guys would rather a girl screwed them prior to breaking up rather than just breaking up with them.
    Speaking of Shelley I quite enjoy her bio lessons. Not so much her fruit one, it seemed inaccurate. [Insert standard boilerplate apologizing to word for not making her laugh with this post]

  18. for some reasons i just laughed so frkn hard at the title “dumpkin”. i think it’s hilarious and i’m not usually a fan of the titles lamebook pics.

  19. also, i love this post.

  20. Don’t apologize, mad. I always enjoy your posts. Whether they make me laugh or not.

  21. This is a great post!

  22. Oh, I just read the “lovely” posts by Saffer and junebug.
    You two were alright at first, but you’re fucking stuck up cunts who think you were made Queen? june, I make you throw up? Ok, you have a serious mental issue if you throw up at the thought of a body shape other than the perfectly proportioned hourglass. About my boyfriend, it’s weird? Get the fuck over both yourselves, I am weird. I told you before..it just doesn’t seem to get through your tiny fucking brains. Self righteous uppity twats…you’re no better than anyone on here.

    YOU make ME sick… and you before any of you start on me, I know they won’t be back for awhile, but I don’t care. It needed to be said. They really need to be taken down a peg or two from the thrones.

  23. Before I stopped before a lurker and actually tired to fit in with the comments, guess what I noticed? The same fucking shit that is still going on. Perverted comments. What they hell have me and mad2 done to make it different? Fucking nothing. I think they just don’t like us for us. They can go jump off a cliff for all I care.

    Maybe I’ll bloody disappear from this site for awhile too.

  24. BAH HAHAHHA!
    Keona, I have no idea what you’re on about, but that shite made me laugh for the first time today.

    You are either way too fucking worked up about comments on a site that make not a whit of difference in reality, or you are a mad meta genius with your own guerrilla lamebook posts here in the comments. Either way it well amuses me, so carry on, please!

  25. Hypocrites is the word I was looking for..fuckers.

  26. I have anger issues set off easily by little things. I control it when I choose to, but those fucks deserve this.

    I suppose I’m getting worked up..I call it self defense. Yes, even on the internet. I have pride and will not take those insults lying down like a beaten dog. I
    I’ll be waiting for when they return..

    I guess in hindsight, what I say won’t matter because I can’t strangle them to get my point across. I know words won’t get the point across. In the history of mankind, you’ll find that fear is the best weapon a debater can use. Fuck it, ranting makes me feel better.

  27. Keona, I recommend you do what I do and ignore comments from individuals who annoy you. June and Saffer (and word) are entitled to make hypocritical rants, it doesn’t bother me.

  28. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    What was that thing somebody said a while ago about 100 gramophones playing 100 different songs at the same time?

  29. Fake…

  30. why can’t we all just get along?!

  31. and marcus makes this post so awesome.

  32. I understand that they are most definitely entitled to their opinions..but I hate hypocrisy (don’t we all, I know)

    Sorry for the rant, though I’m now contemplating whether to go back and just be a silent lurker as I once was or not. Should I be their obedient dog and conform to what they want to hear out of me, or jot hear? Hell no…we won’t go.

  33. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I most definitely DO NOT hate Hypocrisy. It is the glue that holds our society together. We even have a Facebook page, check it out.

  34. I don’t think you should leave, Keona. You should strive to annoy them further! Anyway, it’s like someone said on the page where all that went down, it’s all fine for us to log in and see 50 posts of wordpervert flirting, but if someone else makes a bunch of posts, woe be unto them. Some people can’t stand to have anyone get attention who isn’t them.

  35. Dukey, I will check that out, haha.
    @Wednesday, but if I annoy then further, that will be both childish and giving them the attention they so seek.

    Kill them with kindness, perhaps?

  36. I guess now would be the wrong time to introduce myself as a new member? o.o

    Heh, good evening everyone.

  37. I prefer killing with a zweihänder, myself.
    Saffer, sorry, I didn’t mean to include you in the last post I made.
    Keona, Wednesday has the right idea. Besides, nobody obligates them to read your posts, my posts, or anyone’s posts, so who gives a flying daisy chain of fucking pigs who posts? There are people whose posts I will glance at and ignore if they appear to be too long/uninteresting/some form of ranting about how their free entertainment from the comment section of a website has diminished in quality and has thus ruined their life.

  38. @livforthemoment Hello, nice to meet you. I’m the resident psycho bitch.

    @mad2 I actually prefer Zanbato over kindness, myself. I do the same as you, skim over the ones that “bother” me and don’t cause a ruckus over them, and just stay out of those convos.

    They act as if they’re above us and too mature for our tom foolery…yet they used to do the same. More hypocrisy strikes when they claim to be mature, yet take the time to rant and complain about us instead of ignoring. Live and let live..

    I just6 don’t like this newfound tension I sense when I come on now..always wondering if they will pop up again and attack us. When I get angry, obviously I can not argue intelligently and sensibly, ashamedly to admit..

  39. Hi, Keona! Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re a psycho bitch. :) I’ve been a lurker of LB for a couple weeks and I have to say you’re a pretty cool chick. :) I enjoy reading your comments and joking with everyone else. :P

  40. Did I just walk into my daughters daycare with children crying everywhere?

    I’m getting off track here… It’s obvious that Thanksgiving is one in the stink and two in the pink. Christmas is a special time though. That’s when she gets the gift that keeps on giving.
    :D

  41. “Come and let me stuff your turkey.”

    Yeah, she’s ‘lucky’ she didn’t make it to thanksgiving. Imagine how pissed off she’d be if they’d actually done it, given how PO’d she is about being finger banged. Doesn’t Marcus know that finger banging is PRACTICALLY a proposal? How dare he go and dump her after that.

  42. Dont forget Internet rule 2b; you can’t actually win. And you sure can’t take someone down a notch or two. For all you know they are off flagellating themselves to your every insult. Some people pay to be insulted over the phone but on the Internet you can get it for free.

  43. Defective, how is that ‘obviously’ what Thanksgiving is?

  44. Yes, yes you did. Now give me some damn milk and my pacifier! QQ!

  45. @onehandedjack lmao…oh…how disturbing.

    Saffer, word, and june doing.. to my insults. What is this…I can’t even….I..

  46. Well, jesus … reading these posts from the newest to “oldest” isn’t working for me apparently… WHAT DRAMA DID I MISS? :O

  47. Valenya, the short version is that
    1. wordpervert is not amused by every single one of my posts, and feels that as such one of her fundamental human rights has been violated, and
    2. junebug among others believes certain individuals, including but not limited to myself and Keona, make too many off-topic remarks, including apparently emotional ones (perhaps because I apologized to Keona for something moderately offensive that I said at one point? To be honest, I don’t think I read all of june’s complaining). The upshot is that
    3. Rather than ignoring posts/posters they find uninteresting, they have chosen to take other approaches to their problems, like posting long, emotionally-charged off-topic complaints about off-topic comments.
    I’d give you a more detailed version, but for the most part I tend to ignore people ranting.

  48. Almost 25% of the comments on this post are from Keona..
    Almost 100% of her comments on this post are about her own personal lame drama on lamebook.. and her attackers aren’t even here?
    About 0% of her comments on this post are About this post…

    Keona, cut the drama queen shit and just show us your jubblies?

    ps they dated a month and she only let him finger bang him?

  49. Got it.

    Interestingly enough I was expecting it all… But I thought everyone was like me and just skimmed through the TL;DR blow job practice convo. BTW, why the fuck would someone need to practice giving blow jobs on fruit and such, just get a real life peni… Oh god, let me stop this right now! Haha, hopefully the people reading this comment section just skimmed over me b/c I’m being TL;DR;NF – we wouldn’t want anyone to waste their time by reading our shitty conversation.

    Maybe I shall add something relevant about the Lamebook entry:

    Generic ‘this post is totally fake’ comment.

  50. finger bang her*

  51. @gubenooj Shut the fuck up, thanks. I appreciate what you think of me, I really do. Because telling the truth 100% of the time equates to drama queen shit? Ok. Last I checked, drama queen entailed making up random shit to start drama.

    @Valenya I understand what TL;DR means, but what does the NF mean? Sorry, haha, but that’s honestly the first time I’ve seen that. I’m clueless.

  52. I agree 95.5% with gubenooj. Yes I’m a long time stalker first time poster. And yes before you came along keona the posts involved perverted conversations and frequant orgies. However they didn’t seem to have the same level of unbelievalby unnecessary over share and whineyness and statements made merely so that people could varify your excistence or feel sorry or give you sympathy… For craps sake it’s like instead of lamebook it’s Keonabook. I’m not saying you do it _all_ the time which is why I don’t 100% agree with gubenooj. But the almost every post recently has been you having a whinge about either your boyfriend not letting you have 3 somes which I’m pretty sure you said just to a) bring sex into the conversation b) have guys on here pander to you and c) be a sympathywhore and have everyone say ‘oh noes poor you’. The Sympathywhore option has been backed up time and time again, especially with your post the other day about almost being hit by a car, because after saying that and nobody responding to your whoreish cry for attention and sympathy you then posted ‘didn’t anyone notice the part where I almost got hit by a car’. Then your cleverly disguised ploy today of repeating ‘maybe I should just go back to lurking. Look you can be funny, when you’re not making your posts all about the drama that is your life. But to be honest I’ve wondered or more than one occassion if you are in fact just another personality of Meg. Mad2physicist I have not problem with you, you crack me up. And BritishHobo don’t ever change your crotchety ranty ways I *heart* you and your rocking chair and shotgun :-D

  53. *unbelievably, *existence…. and oh dear god it goes on like that.

  54. Keona- Oh! It means Not Funny… I label all my longer comments that way (in my head of course) I’m always TL;DR;NF

  55. I forgot the number 1 rule of the internet: Do not feed the trolls.

    @Valenya Ah, thanks. :D

  56. Valenya, I asked the very same question regarding fruit vs. the real thing. And gubenooj call me old fashioned but 1 month of dating does not in my mind equate to finger fucking being an expected thing. Hoped for, yes…

  57. @yawntastic thumbs UP. That was nicely said.

    @mad2physicist, forgive me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that their relationship STARTED because he finger banged her. I do find it a little hard to believe that a relationship based off that didn’t progress any further. In other circumstances, I grant you, one month would not equate to finger banging being an expectation.

  58. Funny post for once…including the title! The first 10 comments here about said it for me.

    LMFAO @ Keona 16. I love that movie and that part is easily one of my top 3 scenes of it (the “I’m kicking my ass! Do you MIND?!!” and the speeding ticket scenes being my other two fave).

    I dunno why people are picking on Keona? If it means anything she is easily one of my favorite people here.

    I’m curious about this MEG person, though. For as long as I’ve lurked here (over a year on and off) I have never even seen her. “Ben” either, now that I think about it. Anyone care to enlighten me?

  59. Well I may not have a place to say anything about it all but I love reading everyones comments about the posts more than the actual posts most of the time… So, really, watching some people fight in the comments are some times more entertaining than the post. Just sayin. So, carry on if you like! If you like that you’re more entertaining than Lamebook. If not you should probably avoid one another.
    Good night!

  60. Fred, your theory intrigues me, I was under the impression he fingered her and then dumped her half an hour later.
    (OT Alert) Shelley, MEG is muepsilongamma, as well as several other usernames, and repeatedly posted her hatred of unwed mothers, followed by her annoyance at people disagreeing with her, culminating with a statement about how everyone wants her dead. Tits may have been involved.

  61. IMO the reason everyone is getting annoyed at Keona is that she thinks Lamebook is all about her and has posted way TMI about her personal life – making her lamer than most of the posts. Ironically now that lots of people are sick of it and calling her out she has become the centre of attention. At first I thought she was a clever and dedicated troll but sadly no :(

  62. #58 If you’re asking who Ben is you’re a newbie

  63. Ben is Frodo, Frodo has a pool and likes to point out that posts might possibly be suggestive and alluding to sex :-D

  64. I’m guessing that the comments here have been partly ‘moderated’ as, otherwise, it just reads like a nervous breakdown.

  65. “Tits may have been involved”

    Hehehe. More like this. Please.

  66. @Shelly From what I understand Ben was some guy who used to go on angry rants about people who posted ‘first’ at the beginning of posts. Then someone who may or may not have been the actual Ben posted first on a post and got called out on it from others

  67. @Mad2 your description of Meg cracked me up.

    Finger Banging is my new favourite phrase!

  68. Hmm, glad I missed out on Meg then. Was Ben generally well liked before he disappeared? Seems like people miss him at times but I can’t tell if it’s in a good or bad way.

    @mb Yeah I started frequenting LB just over a year ago I think. Though, I never bothered following comments for the first many months. I found it hard enough to catch up on the posts themselves most times. But like I said, on and off though, when I did. Until recently.

    @jack I was thinking the same. But I’m curious to know more about Meg and how “tits may have been involved” LOL

    On another note, I despise ‘First’ posts but I just try to ignore them. I wonder where the hell it first began… but I do remember it being popular in LiveJournal communities (among other places but I was as addicted to LJ then as I am to FB now) yeeears ago before FB was even around/started gaining popularity. lol

  69. I have to agree with Yawntastic about Keona :P . She tends to treat Lamebook like how one would with their Facebook account, “updating” her RL status in the comments. Even telling the world she’s going to gym for gawdsake! Lame, but hey, this is Lamebook right?

    And seriously Keona, griping about your bf’s refusal to a 3-some? Can’t you respect his choice? Sure 3-somes are fun, but if he’s not comfortable, then he just isn’t. Either you give him time and space to think over it, or go find a new bf if group sex means so much to you. You posted your personal life all over lamebook, so I just put my 2 cents up. And gawd, I’m one step into being lame for bothering about this :P

  70. Nevermind about Meg, I just found Valenya’s mention of the situation on a previous post. I’m still laughing…

  71. Same shit, different day. “Tits may have been involved.”

    Snigger

  72. Same shit, different day. “Tits may have been involved.”

    Guffaw

  73. @ 43: You’re right, it is only obvious to me. I’m just kinda hopeful thats what Thanksgiving involves. All of us just stuff the turkey together and hope the pictures never make it to Lamebook.

  74. @Keona stop bitchin’ and start suckin’. i ain’t here for your lifestory.

  75. LAST!

  76. WTF is a “newbie?”

  77. A newbie is a person who is less cool than the person who is calling them a newbie, NY virtue of the newbie having been the one who has spent LESS time on a given message board than the non newbie.

  78. *by virtue even

  79. Poor old walter, here let’s go change you’re diaper and get you some ham & pea soup. The internet has got you all rattled up again :P

    @Keona I feel this post represents you in a way.
    You show up talk about sucking, 3-ways and you’re bf small penis to absolute strangers and then wonder why once we have had our entertainment fill we don’t respect or care for you.

    Not that it really bothers me per say, I just understand where everyone is coming from is all.

  80. … also known as a ‘noob’ which can quickly be edited to ‘nob’ which is a slang word for penis, which is an organ that can stimulated by mouth, this is called a ‘blow-job’ and this is how the whole sorry debacle started.

    … and tits may have been involved.

  81. You’re all reading it wrong.

    It reads ‘he finger banged her in a pumpkin patch.’

    Pumpkin Patch is actually a vernacular phrase for the ladies baby chute, which means Marcus is quite the gent as i always try lead off by shoving my ring finger up said ladies shit chute.

  82. THIS IS AMAZING.

    internet ‘friends’ turning on each other? i’ve never seen this happen before! you guys imploded on each other with little to no outside help, and so quickly too. bravo! at least i got part of my wish, though i’m pretty sure junebug and wordpervert will come back in a timely fashion, they don’t seem the type to have lives outside the internet.

  83. Fuck me the comments were better than the LB post.

  84. Blah blah blah I’m eight years old and I hate you all except only some of you even though we all post basically the same comments and now I’m going to go put crayons up my nose and shit myself because I’m a child.

  85. @yawntastic i couldn’t have put it better. i’ve been a looong time lurker on here (basically since the beginnings of lamebook) and i only just recently started commenting every now and then. but i agree with what you said. i used to love the comments on here (word, hobo etc. always made me laugh), but nowadays (and i’m not calling anyone out) it’s all just about sex and attention, most of the comments don’t even have anything to do with the lamebook posts and i just think it’s a bit sad.

  86. I vaguely recall a certain movie being on every Thanksgiving. I believe it was called something like “Shitty Shitty Bang Bang”

  87. @yawntastic I have to agree with you 100%. Well said.

  88. i miss meg and her crazy ass.

  89. the post was kind of funny… the comments… tl;dr!

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