Friday, October 1, 2010

DUMB ASSteroid

previous post: Troublin’ Times

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68 Comments

  1. Love it!

  2. Oh, and I forgot Ben.

  3. i’d love to see the bibliography on that essay.

  4. 1. Fucking awesome. xD Jon, if you’re reading this, you’re amazing. Only wish I could see her reaction on getting that essay back.

    2. LAMEBOOK FUCK YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING SOUND AND VIDEO ADS THAT FUCKING WON’T GO THE FUCK AWAY NO MATTER HOWMANY TIMES I REFRESH YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES AND OH MY GOD IT’S ON LOOP AND THERE’S NO FUCKING PAUSE OR VOLUME BUTTONS AND WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BUY YOUR SHITTY PRODUCT WHEN YOUR ADVERTS ARE HONEST TO FUCKING GOD THE MOST ANNOYING FUCKING THING ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET? FUCK YOU GAVISCON, YOU UTTER, UTTER, FUCKING DOUCHEBAG WANKER KNOBS SHIT FUCKS.

    3. lol.

  5. god, jon and trey are my heroes, and Lmafo at Hobo that rant was amazing

  6. How old is Whitney? I could understand her naiveté if we’re talking pre- or early teens, but so deffo not if this is for a high school or college paper.

    Also, Jon is awesome, and I don’t see/hear video ads (yay EU IP?)

  7. Please, whoever uploaded it, let us know when she updates her essay and her teacher gives her a 1.6/10 with a note that says “Well, it has a 6.1/10 at IMDB”.

  8. What has the world come to if people are that retarded… Nonetheless, I love it!

  9. Hobo:

    1. I loved your rant.

    2. Try using Firefox with the downloaded plugin “Adblock Plus”. I haven’t seen any bullshit adds on here in almost a year. It makes my heart go pitter-patter. And it kinda turns me on.

  10. I figured this was going downhill when I seen her spelling…lol

  11. BRITISH HOBO WHY DON’T YOU JUST FUCKING USE ADBLOCK?!

  12. I keep my laptop on mute. My 10 month old likes to bang on it as it is without it making sound.

    Whitney is amazing. I hope she turns that paper in. I wonder if her parents proof read her work for her? If so, what would they say? Do you think they know that have a raised a complete fucktard and waste of humanity? That they released on an unsuspecting planet this creature who could breed, thus making survival of the fittest impossible, ruining the human gene pool forever?

  13. ditto vabadus please give an update on this, I’ll eagerly await it :-)

    I wish I had friends like Whitney, just so I could do that!

  14. Faaaaaaaake. Wish that it was true, but faaaaaaaake.

  15. I remember that; that was while Billy Bob Thornton ran NASA.

    *facepalm*

  16. Ah i wish there were follow ups!!! Lol

  17. THIS. This right here is classic Lamebook. Awesome.

  18. This is the best one in months.

  19. This needs an award of some kind. AMAZING.

  20. Two days in a row with good Lamebook posts!?!?!? If we can keep this trend up, it’ll be like this January when all the posts were good

  21. This is either fake or sheer brilliance.
    I so want to read that essay.

  22. The first time I saw that I was supposed to cover my eyes during the “highly erotic” animal crackers on the belly scene, but I totally peeked! I’m such a rebel.

  23. had to say, after stalking a while …. hobo, you’re hilarious. sorry you’re ranting but your comment is funnier than the original post :-D

  24. I want to believe it’s fake, but I’m well aware that there are people this dumb in existence.

    Age is NOT an excuse for her if this is real. If she’s old enough to use “shit” on Facebook, she’s old enough to have some spelling ability, and should have developed some modicum of intelligence. I mean, dizzamn.

  25. Fuck, I’m shitfaceddrunk. And this is funny. Bye.

    PS Adblock is fucking useless on Macs.

  26. iszz shit lik dis tht mak meeee wnat 2 kurl up in a ball n weap 4 all humantity i relly lik 2 belive dis is faakke as Msterprop say but i 2 kno der r ppl in dis wrld who r dis dumb

    Translation:

    It’s shit like this that makes me want to curl up in a ball and weep for all of humanity. I’d really like to believe this is fake, as MasterProp said, but I too know there are people this dumb in the world.

    What I can’t understand is the fact that people write like that. I took me at least five times as long to misspell almost every word than it did to spell everything correctly. LEARN FUCKING ENGLISH!

  27. OMG That’s great.

  28. Easily one of my favorite posts in a long time. I am desperate to see how that paper turned out. I almost wish he would have told her the documented it, or Hollywood got their hands on the story and she should check out the result if she wants an even MORE detailed paper.

  29. curlybap, British Hobo is basically why I come to this site.

    Spoonman, I totally agree. I proof read legal documents all day and every time I have to try and read a post like that it almost makes my fucking head explode!

  30. Maggie- I’m willing to bet that Whitney’s parents have a combined IQ that rivals her own. Idiots usually breed idiots. Unless of course, you live in South Park. ;) lol

  31. I want Whitney to be my friend :-)

  32. @9 and 11

    if he used adblock he’d have nothing to moan about, you idiots.

    myopic.

  33. @quest i love his comments, we should make a fan club!

    don’t even talk to me about legal docs ffs …. we’re very alike lol

  34. @ glamazonqueen: Are you as excited as I am about the new season starting on Wednesday? Because I am super stoked.

  35. teehee… “MEATeors”… i don’t think she’s being stupid i think she’s talking in code!

  36. @Shinplints, I don’t think she’d find those MEATeors so boring. I know I don’t!

  37. I could be wrong, but isn’t this the premise to Armageddon?

  38. @jazzspazz Um, yeah, that would be the joke dear ;-)

  39. About ad and adblock and macs, I’m on a mac and I don’t hear a thing.

  40. This is win. Where has this girl been?

    Also, I use IE and have never seen these ads. o.0 I used this to make a block list a long time ago and it may be what’s blocking those from loading: http://www.spywarewarrior.com/uiuc/resource.htm

  41. Go Hobo with the epic rant. Got away with not installing an adblocker until recently, but between lamebook & a company called interactive advertising, I’ve had to take action!

  42. Hobo that was an awesome rant *agrees strongly*
    Having sound i can’t turn off doesn’t make me watch it, it pisses me off and i just go off lamebook.

    P.s. I can’t use advert blocker on this site as then it hides the article links just above the comments too, which i use a lot.

  43. Ffs… I’m so glad I never meet people like this.

  44. @comments #15… that was funny.

  45. mytwocentsorwhatever

    This would have been perfect if he would have mention Bruce Willis has the hero that saved the day. I want to see the finished paper.

  46. The Hobo now has AdBlock Plus, and no adverts on Lamebook. Any complaints that is his comments (past entries included) are ‘as funny as death’, ‘not nearly as controversial or funny as that pathetic cunt thinks they are’, or ‘as retarded as he probably is’ should be directed at omfgitsdrea, Iron_E, and whatever absolute fucking genius made AdBlock Plus, and not him. It’s not his fault.

  47. Thanks an’ that.

  48. @ladyrisk, it’s aaall part of the code…

  49. Wonder if it was the same oil rig crew that caused the gulf of mexico spill.

  50. Maybe she should write about the other meteor that struck when Morgan Freeman was president.

  51. jazzspazz’s comment… now that made me laugh.

    Good one.

  52. I feel so sorry for her. The teacher will have a good laugh at least. I think?

  53. The song mentioned is actually my favourite song, which makes this not only an awesome post but an homage to my taste in music. Now to listen to said song.

  54. Assuming that this post is legitimate it is still doubtful that the paper will be written. Surely if Whitney has the ability to navigate Facebook and Microsoft Word (the latter which she quite likely has to be at least somewhat familiar with otherwise it implies that this is the first essay she’s ever had to write) then she must easily be equipped to deal with the simplicity of Google. As it would be impossible with her seemingly low intellect to embellish 1000 words’ worth of information–a process requiring great imagination–on what was said by Jon and Trey alone, it would probably occur to her to Google “great asteroid of 1998″ (Armageddon being the 3rd result) and possibly “aerosmith earths anthem”, which would be a far less cerebrally exhausting activity than time spent in a library. If this isn’t fake and Whitney actually is a simpleton, I still am sceptical that she would be enough of a half-wit to not Google it and thereby not discover, until one thousand laborious words later, that she’d been had.

    As vindictivebitch has wondered where this girl has been, I also am interested to know where this ostensible gold mine of comedy has been hiding.

  55. This is a little random, but I think that Skweezy Jibbs should have a permant part of lamebook. This isn’t the place, I know but you may be intersted in adding him. I still can’t believe that a person such as Skweezy Jibbs exists, and every time I log into facebook I am once again suprised.

  56. tl;dr

  57. alifus, you are right to believe he doesn’t exist.

    he’s an actor called tim savage. this was discussed on the original thread. perhaps you should believe in something, well, a bit more believable. not yoink – that’s too much of a stretch. try gabe, maybe? everyone loves gabe.

  58. Sigh…I can’t wait for tomorrow so lamebook will have some new fodder.

  59. Lamebook really needs to update over the weekend

  60. Quick, someone go to Wikipedia and create a page detailing the great asteroid of 1998!

  61. Thanks alordslums, I was really worried about the state of humanity. I must have missed that in the discussions :D

  62. hobo – you’re quite welcome. :)

    alords – bite me.

  63. Why was this old post re-entered???

  64. @63 It’s a Lamebook Classic.

    For those using Firefox and AdBlock Plus, you might want to look at also installing NoScript.
    http://noscript.net/

  65. that was the most awesome thing i have ever read on LB thxxxxxxxxxxx my morning started with big smile……

  66. So this is a classic now for the nth time?

  67. @66 My point exactly…

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