Monday, September 14, 2009

Domo Arigato for this Gem

domo

previous post: Good Ol’ Uncle Jenn

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68 Comments

  1. Oh fuck off and learn to speak English, you retard. They would get an instant ‘fuck off’ and a defriend from me.

  2. What… My brain hurts.

  3. It seems like a lot of trouble to spend time considering a different way to spell EVERY single word in the English language.

    Some people have way too much time on their hands…

  4. Hahaha, the best part is that she felt the need to correct an error in her typing. Really? Like it helped the readability or something?

  5. But why? Why doesn’t she just spell ‘not’ instead of ‘noht’? What’s with the need to add the extra letter? Doesn’t it require even more work to spell it wrong?

  6. Cuz shiz thoo qool fo shkool

  7. This is full of so much FAIL. From the actual misspellings to her declaration “if yu caint understan it, than thas on yu.” What a great way to start my Monday. Thank you, Lamebook.

  8. The final result of this status update reminds me of my Uncle Gots (as we called him) who seemed to always talk in the third person. Nobody really knows why, but we think it had to do with his uncle Jenn who had a weird fetish involving broomsticks and poopsickles. One night Uncle Jenn and Gots dropped a couple of hits of acid (Even though Jenn was 30-years his senior)… First came the broomstick, which was kind of like a chimney-sweep. It cleared Gots’ anus and intestines from any sludge that may have been built up over his years of being an overweight, feces-eating fatass.
    The acid that night messed him in many ways (retardation being one). He considered himself an artist, even though he had not an ounce of creativity inside him (the only creative thing he ever did was make a sandwich out of six different items from Pizza Hut, McDonalds, KFC, Applebee’s, Sonic and The Candy Shack.)
    He also frequently talked in the third person, almost as if he no longer wanted to be associated with his fat body.
    His latest artistic masterpiece was known as the “Shiessen-Typin’” — he laid a keyboard (connected to a computer) over a plastic sheet and went out that night…a huge bender, chugging draft beer, taco bell and his patented Gots-Sandwich I mentioned earlier. The next day he squatted over the keyboard and unleashed fury–gravity was only a small reason the feces flew out at such a high rate. The incredible velocity due to the sphincter spasms sent the keyboard inputting (what we thought was) jibberish. While Gots’ facebook status may look like an incoherent mess, it’s a beautiful masterpiece where if you squint while looking at the center, you will see the face of Jesus, complete with a tear rolling down his face.

  9. On Topic: Can someone translate that for me?

    Off Topic: One of the reasons I love Lamebook: AnonisGay

  10. Translation:

    So I’m really tired of people commenting on the way I type, or talk. This is the internet, not english class. If you can’t understand it, then that’s on you. You must not be someone I talk to if you that dumb – so that means it don’t matter if you can read it or not. And I’m not digging how females that are OLDER than me are acting younger. But I do dig how they hating! Cuz Domo loves her haters. Lol. You just do you, and I’ma do me.

    As you can see, even the translation has its problems. And I didn’t know what to do with “I’ma” – maybe I’m gonna?

  11. I bet she doesn’t have many friends.

  12. It’s people like this that fuel the growth and supply the amusement of Lamebook, and for that I thank this stupid bitch.

  13. Wait, people are dumb because they don’t like the way she types?

    Right.

  14. I might track this person down on facebook just so I can call her a dumb bitch, get her address to mail her every english and grammatical book I own, and tell her parents that they created it and if they don’t fix it, I’ll kill it.

    Yes, she’s an “it” to me.

  15. Less literal translation;

    “I’m finding it increasingly tiresome that people see fit to comment on the means with which I choose to express myself through text or speech. The internet, the medium through which I do most of my communication, is not subject to the strictures of correct English usage to the same degree as, for example, if I was being examined as part of a course on grammar. I take the view that, provided I have made the minimal effort of ensuring the sentiments I am attempting to convey are coherent and expressed in a manner comprehensible to the average speaker of the language, the onus is upon the reader and not upon myself to ensure that they have the requisite fluency to understand me. If you do not possess the aforementioned minimal degree of linguistic competence, I can only assume that you are someone with whom I don’t communicate with on a regular basis and as such it is little concern of mine whether you find my meaning transparent or not. Another thing I do not appreciate, given that most of my critics seem to be women, is the fact that the mainstay of them appear to be prosecuting their criticism in a manner which does not befit the age which some of them enjoy but rather resembles the behaviour of much younger ladies. However, it does please me that they are offering their criticisms; for I, Domo, heartily enjoy the thrill which intellectual antagonism can bring. It makes me laugh. I offer the following thought for those who seek to censure me with their linguistic prescriptions; why don’t you concern yourself with your own writings, and I shall concern myself with my own.”

  16. *comment /upon/ the means

    ; i messed up lolll

  17. search “domo gotshaters” on facebook and you’ll find her. i sent her a message. “thanks for making lamebook hilarious today.”

  18. Ugh…I found her and even her friends’ names are this dumb. Lamebook needs to have a “for the love of god do not reproduce” list

  19. Duncan FTW

  20. Agree. +1 Duncan!

  21. Proof that weed kills brain cells. Hopefully it will destroy their reproductive organs too…

  22. I find most of these funny, but this one just fills me with rage for some reason.

    @AuroraLupus: I’m pretty sure the entire site is one big list of people who should be chemically castrated.

  23. That was awesome, Duncan.

  24. The joke here isn’t that she was typing a bunch of gibberish; it’s that she saw fit to correct some of it, while leaving the rest.

    In other news, James Joyce’s Ulysses originally came back from the printers with lots of spelling “mistakes” corrected.

  25. well done Duncan….now THAT I completely understood.

  26. Everybody eat shit

    @stc not once in there does she mention marijuana. What’s your problem with the herbs man?

  27. Everybody eat shit

    Proof that you are a dumbshit

  28. Note to Domo:

    We learn English in English class, so that we can speak, read, and write English properly in real life. Believe it or not, that’s kind of the point.

    Sincerely,

    A dumb person because I prefer not to read your nonsense.

  29. Good God, this girl has over 750 friends! How in the hell…??

  30. Is it just me, or does this seem kind of fake… like, she wanted it to be posted on a site like this, hence her unbelievable stupidity?

  31. She has ‘GotsHaters’ as her middle name. She’s for real.

  32. If there’s some sort of nuclear apocalypse and alien anthropologists have to piece together our civilisation – I hope this entry isn’t one of those pieces.

  33. ahahahahaha!

    THIS GIRL IS NUTS.

    Let’s correct my own form of grammar… with a rule I made up. It’s when you replace letters with other letters… like instead of g’s I like to use q’s. That way everything I write looks cooler. And I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to yu. COOL!

  34. Duncan wins 100 internets.

  35. hahhahha I love how she says something about others being dumb and then to add it all correcting her own bad grammar/internet lingo. hilarious.

  36. I’m very impressed with how well she’s fucked up the English language. Wonder what her SAT score will be.

  37. All for the public flogging of this chick say “I”.

  38. I think you messed up WAY before that line.

  39. AnonisGay you are brills my friend brills

  40. As stupid as she is, I have to agree with her on one part. The trend of older girls/women acting like they are pre-teens is really lame. I’m not saying they should act their age, but jesus, if they are in their late teens to early 30′s, there is no reason for them to act like they are 12.

  41. Oh, she’s 15. 14? In the high school class of 2011. Makes total sense now, that’s how all the COOL high schoolers write.

  42. My soul hurts.

  43. Loving the comment where she notes that in the last part of her diatribe she messed up.
    Just the last part? Really??

  44. Wow, when I ran a Facebook search for her, one of the web results was this very page. Brilliant.

    Also, the command of the English language as shown by the commenters here — which is excellent — serves as a wonderful contrast to this Domo “character”.

  45. Another future leader of America? I sincerely hope not. I don’t understand how words can be so misspelled purposely.

  46. Is she Japanese? i just noticed the ‘YU’, ‘noht’ & ‘thas’
    bcoz if she is then good for her for learning another language (i cant speak/nearly type Japanese) If she is English then she is useless personified!!

  47. NO.

  48. ROFL have you seen her profile piccie? I don’t know which ‘older women’ are dogging her (maybe betty white?), she looks about 55……

  49. I always hate it when people use the lame excuse that they’re on the internet and not English class when they type horribly.

    Idiots like this continue to destroy the English language further and further. How sad.

  50. There were only 44 misspellings in that awful mess of 88 words if you count the ampersands. Well I guess 50% isnt bad…

  51. hey boz? about the alien thing- i hope the same thing. but i also hope that they don’t come across your comment and believe that EVERY human spelled civilization the way you just have.

  52. noht? NOHT?!

  53. Duncan = King Of The Thread

  54. not every human spells it civilization, but some actually do. I can never keep track of American versus British spellings (since in Canada we use both), but the z-s switch is quite common.

  55. guys, it’s the internet. No one knows you. No one gives a fuck if you can prove how smart you are and how excellent you are at spelling and grammar.
    This website is for the lol… Just laugh and move on! Stop trying to prove yourself to people that don’t know you!

  56. HAHAHA This chick goes to Piper High in Sunrise. I went there, no wonder she is so dumb and I got my education elsewhere.

  57. Wasn’t net talk created so that it was quicker to talk online? This saves nobody’s time. ‘Noht’ takes longer to type than the traditional spelling, and for those reading it, it takes twice as long to try and decipher what the hell they’re talking about.
    But I suppose this is noht Enqlish class.. THIS THA INTANET!!!

  58. And also, did she try and correct her spelling afterwards? I think she missed a few dozen other mistakes.

  59. Since when did “g” become “q”? Seriously.

  60. Why is it so difficult to type in normal, comprehendible English?
    This whole shortening of words and exchanging letters is giving rise to a generation of nearly illiterate fucktards.

  61. Sad thing is, some of the words in there were longer. How is “noht” useful at all?

  62. I hate myself for being able to understand that.

  63. why replace “of” with “ov”?? That doesn’t even make sense to me. I mean not as if the rest does, I’m just saying…

  64. Its one thing to be shit at english, its that youre inventing your own fucking retard language, when are they going to make it legal to lynch these stupid fucks so they dont continue their fucked up gene pool.

  65. Shut the fuck up you racist bitch Jo. Why doesn’t someone fucking lynch you?

  66. Kat, I don’t think we know what colour this person is… how is it racist… I want to lynch some stupid m-fers too.

  67. I think Jo has the right idea, before we know it what Kat said will become reality, we will have a race of morons who can’t form a proper sentence.
    Then and only then, would it be racism.

  68. fizzymacfizzfizz

    took me longer than it should to get what the fuck that girl was talking about

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