Monday, April 19, 2010

Didn’t Make the Cut

previous post: disgRACE

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85 Comments

  1. i love malteaser too

    I’d still love malteaser, rape or no rape.

  2. I’m going to bet it was Holly who told Matt’s boss. No sympathy, just a note to make her feel less guilty. She may as well have just said “man up!”

  3. What part of ‘Hey, I’ll go into work even though I don’t know when I’m working and buy some food, thereby exposing myself to a possible thrashing by my boss, who is no doubt going to be pissed off if i AM working today, and then i’ll post about it on facebook, even though it’s probably going to be an extremely bad idea’ made sense to Matt?

  4. @ #51 love malt: I’m banking on the fact he has you brainwashed by now. Either that or he has a massive cock.

  5. lol

    Also, I’m neither illiterate nor a raper of pets :O

  6. I’m not a “he” either…. sorry to kill your dreams 8)

  7. You’re keeping my dream alive malt.

    Just.

  8. MALTEASER! YOU’VE CHANGED MAAAAN

  9. The Salmon Mousse

    Lamebook seems to have quite alot of females, which confuses me as you don’t get females on the internet. Something must be wrong at Sandwich making HQ 🙁

  10. @ Salmon

    Oh dear…. A name like “Salmon Mousse” tends to infer that either you yourself are a culinary queen (female or gay) and thus familiar with the inner mechanisms of “Sandwich Making” or that you are truly knowledgable about the nuances of the colour spectrum (English spelling, btw), knowing the difference between “salmon” and just plain orange/peach, which would also infer the you yourself are something other than male.

    I figured I’d make the above assumption based on cliches, since you seem so prone to do the same.

    Tsk tsk…

  11. I want to know what kind of “friend” would turn poor Matt in. That’s who I would stab, the fucker who told his boss. Lamebook is driven by lame Fb stuff but really it’s lame “friends” who post the lame stuff to Lamebook.

    I like Malt too but I miss turtle boy.

  12. It’s not like the boss really needed the FB posting reason to fire Matt – and in seeing Matt’s warped slew on reality (getting offended when HE fubar’d work) – we could probably easily and just as safely assume he’s full of crap and got fired for … not showing up to work.

  13. The Salmon Mousse

    Or option three, it just means I’v watched Monty Python’s Meaning of Life ;). I’d say the colour Salmon was more pink then orange or peach, though I’m not quite sure how knowing a colour exists implies that I’m homosexual.

    Anyway, I made a lame (unfunny) joke at the expense of woman kind; I apologies if you were offended. Next time I’l make a joke about men to balances the scales a little.

  14. The Salmon Mousse

    apologise even* I’m on a typo roll today.

    Anyway, if what Matt says is true, the ironic thing if he *had* prayed for his boss, instead of threatening to “stab her”, he might still have a job. God moves in mysterious ways….

  15. @Spicy Boughner:
    I agree that when you are “off the clock” you should be free to do what you want(within the law) without fear of repercussions from work. However, the whole point is Matt was meant to be on the clock. He was scheduled to work and did not show up. That alone would be reason enough to get fired.

    Moreover, he threatened a manager. Whether he was joking or not, no manager would like an employee who would happily dole out joking death threats.

    I do agree, that the friend who dobbed him in was an asshole.

  16. @malteaser

    I don’t know why, based strictly on “lol”, that I always thought you were male.

    I don’t know what to think, now.

  17. There are a lot of female posters on this site , a lot more then on any other humour site.

    But (and i have used this argument once before long time ago) experience has painfully taught me that almost half of the ‘women’ on the internet are in fact men.

    So maybe malteaser is something in between, a transcendent genderless creature sent to this sad world to teach us the meaning of Laughing out Loud and Lots of Love

    So whatever you may be Malt , my allegiance is yours.

  18. @Father Sha

    I feel fairly certain that the reason there are so many women on lamebook is… well… because of me.

    No need to agree (nor deny) this fact, as my delusion is set in a section of my brain that refuses to see reason (or the color orange).

  19. Mcowles , why would i deny that fact. We all know it is your hardcore masculinity that brings all the girls to the yard

  20. Chinchillazilla

    *bats eyelashes at mcowles*

  21. It’s already working Mcowles, You hire me for your PR and your johnson will be doing overtime !

  22. @Father Sha

    and I’m like, it’s better than yours.

    @Chinchilla

    I thought you put “bat eyelashes”. I enjoyed my misread. A little too much. Now I’m sad :(.

  23. @Father Sha

    Oh, my johnson already has a steady gig. I wouldn’t want to risk it by moonlighting for the overtime that you mentioned. I’ll throw all my epoon your way, if you want, though. 🙂

  24. word, I as well am frustrated!

  25. i love malteaser too

    Can I get some love here for actually getting malteaser to divulge more info than those lols that we all love?

  26. @mcowles

    I could try to bat them at you if you want. Or have eyelashes reminiscent of small flying mammals. Whatever.

  27. @salmon mousse – Apology accepted. I guess I wasn’t really offended, just jumping on a soap box. I’m off now. Also, I was countering your cliche with one of my own, not necessarily implying you are gay. Anyone who watches – and loves – good ol’ Monty deserves respect in my book! So…. Respect! 🙂

  28. Are we sure that Malt even means LOL and not LOL?

  29. @malteaser

    My dreams are still alive cheers!

  30. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I was just about to say that Malteaser is a “she” turns out SHE beat me to it. Now if I can get her to beat something else for me then we will be all good.

  31. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    and yes @ I love malt you do get some love cos I figured malteaser was a chick after i saw her post where she said
    ” OMG I have a fan <3 " this is something only a chick would say IMO. although she could be one of those hermaphrodite chicks with dicks.

  32. This guy lives in Erie PA, friggin hilarious.

  33. Wow, I thought I’d be the only one to make the Erie connection. I know too many Matts with blue icons :X

  34. ohhh gee.
    i died a little inside.

    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  35. Only inside? Bummer.

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