Thursday, February 18, 2010

Dickin’ Around

previous post: Photostop, Please

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53 Comments

  1. first bitches.

  2. ummm, did Katie just call male testicles “excriments”?

    Maybe if she didn’t confuse the two, someone wouldn’t be angry enough to key her car.

  3. hootie the blowfish

    Mike, it’s better to find her after porn before you bang her than before. Less chance of disease that way.

    And mcowles, I’m pretty sure Katie was referring to semen.

  4. hootie the blowfish

    find her doing porn after you bang her than before*

  5. @hootie

    That’s even worse.

    Mixing up excrement and semen… one you bring into your mouth and swallow to show your partner that you love him. The other makes babies.

  6. There’s a tampon that you can keep in for 8 hours?
    Bloody hell!

  7. Doctors try to grab your junk at every opportunity whether you have erectile dysfunction or not. Women think men don’t like to go to the doctor because they think they’re too manly or because they’re afraid. Really, though, men don’t like going to the doctor because every time we go some dude (or chick) with cold hands grabs our junk and sticks a finger up our ass and doesn’t even buy us dinner first.

    That being said, James embarrassing himself like that when he could have reported the whole experience as a Penthouse Forum-worthy event is simply unforgivable.

  8. @wordpervert

    I’m (toxic) SHOCKED to find out about this breakthrough as well!

  9. It’s obviously not that embarrassing, James. Otherwise you wouldn’t be posting about it on facebook.

  10. @mcowles

    Uh oh, I think I may have changed my mind about you! Quick, tell me an awesome joke involving jesus and easter!

  11. @mcowles: That’s beautiful.

    Just like James, I go to doctors for erectile dysfunction. Unlike James, I just find that my co-pay is cheaper than getting handys from hookers.

  12. There’s always (meno)pause for a period pun, isn’t there mcowles?

  13. You’d think of all people, good friend Rupal would understand Katie’s desire to carry a dick around. /es

  14. Womans period… always a great time to ask for backdoor access

  15. If a man asks nicely, he can access all areas any time of the month.

  16. perdy please with jizz on top

  17. Again, we think alike wordpervert.

  18. The wife says it hurts too much :(

  19. @soup: It’s good to be money cautious. Especially in this economy.

  20. @wordpervert – Thanks for making me laugh!

  21. Ahahahahahahahahahaha

  22. Mike and Casey are the sort of guys you see in one of those crap American Pie sequels/ripoffs, that are way more obsessed with boobs and porn than any real person possibly could be, and that you’d hate to hang out with.

    Not to be judgemental, or anything.

  23. Wow, you are all a bunch of sick f***s- i love you so much!

  24. Hope you enjoyed your fruitfest last night eenerbl, I did.

  25. @hobo

    Sometimes I think I am more obsessed with booty and porn then any real person possibly could be… But I’d be sad if you’d hate to hang out with me :,(

  26. @word

    lucky fruit… pics?

  27. Haha! I did. I put a message up last night before I went to bed! lol! I was VERY tired!

  28. Oh, for SURE Slimjayz, this is the PERFECT forum in which to post photographic evidence of women seeking sexual satisfaction from produce. Do post!

  29. Nothing tops a night off like a banana and a bullet.

  30. Super Nintendo Chalmers

    @wordpervert: I hear that if you wring ‘em out, they’ll last indefinitely.

  31. @dawnstar

    My jesus joke involves hand movements for the punchline… so it doesn’t exactly work here. Sorry :(

    Here’s a less good one along the same lines though:

    What did Jesus say while he was hanging on the cross?
    A: This was one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation.

    Bananas and bullets, hmmmm. Is that a Cake song?

  32. hahaha, AND a Cake reference? niiice.

    @eenerbl….except maybe a c*ck?

  33. I have a feeling that eenerbl shared the banana discussion with her guy and thus he was using the banana while she was using the bullet.

    And they say lamebook doesn’t bring couples closer together!

  34. I’m told, (cough, cough) that the most challenging thing about getting a rectal exam is acting like it hurts. BTW i have an easter joke but it might be too long to get in this box.

  35. I know something else that’s too long to get into a certain box.

    Of course I’m referring to how much I loved the tv show California Dreams!!!!

  36. Ok, I apologize for my last comment. I work around people that say “your mom” and “that’s what she said” 8 hours per day, every day. I saw “too long to get in this box” and I HAD to comment.

    I fought off a “that’s what she said” response and it turned into the hogwash that you see above.

    Again, my apologies to MochaMike and everyone else here today.

  37. Three lamebook fans die and go to heaven where they’re met by St. Peter. He tells them they’ve each been good boys, but before he can let them in, they must each tell him the meaning of easter.

    First lamebook fan says, “That’s easy. Easter is when mom cooks a turkey and we sit around and watch football games all day long. Poor Peter just shakes his head, tells him he’s confused ester with thanksgiving, and asks the same question of the 2d fan.

    Then 2d fan, equally confident, responds, “That’s easy. Easter is when mom cooks a turkey, we exchange presents, and then watch football games all day long.” Again, Peter is distraught and tells him he’s confused easter with christmas.

    Asking the 3d fan, he gets this response: “In the beginning, god created the heavens and the earth and all the people on it; but the people were so bad, he had to send his only son to suffer and die and redeem their sins. Encouraged, Peter asks him to continue. The 3d goes on, “and he did. He suffered and he died and was buried in a cave. Three days later, he came out, saw his shadow, and we had six more weeks of winter.”

    It’s kinda fun to tell this joke to fundamentalists who’ll often laugh before realizing the nature of their sacrilege.

  38. YES on 35!

    As a lady, I cannot throw out a ‘that’s what she said’ without feeling like an ass, but I hated the thought of letting that opportunity pass by.

  39. 1000 pardons for sloppy spelling and omitted punctuation above.

  40. @dawnstar: Been there, done that. The banana added a certain sweetness to the experience.

  41. Ha! ‘sweetness’. Well played, madam.

  42. James really needs to know when not to make status changes

  43. @ slim, nothing on film, I’ll leave it to your obviously vivid imagination.

    @ eenerbl, Yeah saw you were beat, me too, not only because of my liaison with the banana , but had to fit in an AC/DC concert here in Sydney last night. I have good multi tasking skills though.

    @ Super Nin, thanks for the tip.

  44. @wordpervert, I’m jealous of your concert :( But very glad you had a good night with your banana! Cheers my banana friend.

  45. It was awesome eenerbl, you would have loved it!

  46. Back in Black is a memorable favorite, I would have very much enjoyed it!

  47. @eenerbl

    She wasn’t talking about the concert.

  48. haha, what can I say. It was late, and I wasn’t thinking.

  49. Why do people STILL write “FIRST” in the comment-section?! Grow the fuck up.

  50. its weird being jealous of curved yellow fruit :/

  51. @slimjayz

    You’re jealous of Richard Simmons?

  52. PosterformerlyknownasTristan

    @ wordpervert

    There is a device called Instead that is like a diaphram that is for heavy periods used for up to 12 hours I think, my wife uses them.

    Sad day for me when a man knows more about feminine hygeine products than women do…

  53. Poster, that doesn’t sound very appetising.

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