Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Designed to Fail

previous post: Nice Logic!

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35 Comments

  1. first? me?!?

  2. Yeah, but if you pile 40/50 people onto that lion with chomping teeth I think we can beat it!

  3. Had this conversation the other day. Do zombies poop?

  4. This was funnier when I read it on Cracked.com

  5. my friend’s aunt makes $88/hr on the computer. She has been fired for 10 months but last month her pay check was $13979 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site CashLazy.com

  6. How’s about ya get yerself one o dem real jobs, Leticia?

    Freezy, if they do, that’s the best time to kill them.

    I never really looked at zombies as a species, nor humans as their predator. We’re more prey to zombies as they want to eat us. We’re only defending ourselves.

  7. No they do not..”poop” (you child) they simply use all in taken calories to rejuvenate their dying skin. Theyve managed to perfect their food intake so that they only eat as much as they need. Idiot. Course they don’t fucking poop.

  8. That’s stolen from cracked.com

    some people are so desperate to be witty.

  9. Maybe cracked.com stole it from his guy. There’s no date stamp.
    Plus, you sound like a whiny-ass know-it-all, so I’ll argue for the sake of it.

  10. *this

  11. That maybe so, but I’m sure he didn’t write “7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)”

    “Plus, if we look at zombies as a species, they are pretty much designed for failure. Their main form of reproduction is also their only source of food and their top predator. If they want to eat or reproduce, they have to go toe to toe with their number one predator every single time. That’s like having to fight a lion every time you to want to have sex or make a sandwich. Actually, it’s worse than that: Most top predators are only armed with teeth and claws, meaning they have to put themselves in harm’s way to score a kill. Humans have rifles.”

    You’re so right, it really looks like the writers of cracked.com found a random facebook status to put in their article and then elaborate before and after the guy’s quote.

    And I’m sure that since this article was wrote in 2010, lamebook has been sitting on this beauty for 2 years.

  12. ^ Fair call. I should have checked your source.
    This little beauty was probably a self-submit too, just to add to the general douchetastic splendour.

  13. ugh I hate when assholes post without attribution. There is a girl on my friend list who always posts these witty little one-liners and gets 78 likes and 14 comments saying “haha gurl you so funny!” – I used to be one of those “likes” until one of her lines sounded vaguely familiar. 30 seconds of googling her past several statuses made it clear that she is a flagrant parasite of internet witticisms.

    Sorry you had to read all of that. But it really bothers me. Not enough to “out” her, but enough to type an inordinately long comment on Lamebook.

  14. I agree- thats like sucking dick in hollywood to make it to the top. Cheap and sorry.

  15. Oh come on, oobie. Can’t you please “out” her? She’ll never know it was you… (wheedle wheedle)

  16. ^oobie doesn’t generally need that much encouragement to be bitter & vitriolic.

  17. No I am far too passive-aggressive for that, but I just might start a psychological campaign against her where I respond to every status with another unattributed quote by the person or from the book or website. Sort of like a “you know and I know but your secret is safe with me, bitch. kinda.”

  18. Who gives a crap?

  19. let it go, oobie.

  20. This is a poor attempt to change the subject…but, do black zombies still LOVE fried chicken?

  21. No, but they love ribs.

  22. I registered to this site specifically to call out this comment for ripping off cracked.com. Since I wasn’t able to be the first to point it out, I at least want you all to know that

  23. Yay for Danny, who has probably got the saddest reason for registering an account here!

  24. no i like to post first, which is an even more sad reason to register

  25. look, is there a reason to register that is not inherently sad?

  26. I’m relieved that someone finally registered without the intent to tell MsAnne how horrible she is.

  27. ^and how will i know now?

  28. Fair enough…who else who be left to run the unreasonable amount of ribshacks by the 95 exit a few miles from my white man cave.

  29. Tired of seeing played out posts by people that steal stuff, and my gutterhole is bleeding.

  30. I know this is irrelevant to this post in some ways, well, in a way that it isn’t relevant to the actual Lamebook post, but I’ve signed up for an equally pathetic reason – I want to observe and occasionally irritate that Flames fellow (sub ‘fellow’ for ‘aserbic cretin’).

    So, basically, I’ve joined to become an anonymous, passive-aggressive cyber bully.

    Hi.

  31. I probably could have used my first post to actually fulfill my initial desire for joining, but that would just be expected.

  32. *acerbic

  33. Welcome, omens. Just don’t be steppin’ on our toes as we rip Flames a new one, ‘kay? There’s room enough for at least 10 at a time.

  34. Flames likes the ripping too much. Poor little mong. I feel kinda sorry for him.

  35. Shut up everybody. (It’s from Cracked)

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