Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dear God, Make Me a Bird

Dear God Make Me a Bird

previous post: Wish You the Best Mate

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39 Comments

  1. Well gee William, maybe you should just go write in your diary and get that sand out of your vagina.

  2. Hahaha!

    Newsflash, William: girls who ‘really like’ you will be perfectly happy to talk to you. Could it be that some poor girl has strayed into your line of vision once, and didn’t throw up at the sight of you, and this has led you to decide that she ‘really likes’ you? Just a thought.

  3. Funny how guys like William think every girl is hitting on them. I’m sure he’d be a really good boyfriend, if he were marketable.

  4. judging by the size of him he’s an albatross…

  5. No William, they don’t like you. They’re just in awe of your massive jaw.

  6. His jaw is a bit like a shovel

  7. I know that the more I like a guy, the less willing I am to talk to him. Oh wait.

  8. william, meet javian.

  9. Calimero!

  10. Ah, another guy suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome where they feel women owe them something. Get a prostitute, loser.

  11. Guys who think of themselves as ‘nice guys’ are almost never as nice as they think they are. They’re usually tools.

  12. Roflcopter.

  13. He looks like a moai.

  14. He must be a munter.

  15. Oh William, I have the same problem! Boys just like me so much that they never talk to me. Let’s see. I think one was out of town and couldn’t check his voicemail messages and his computer crashed so he couldn’t check e-mail… or something. Now, repeat after me – “she’s just not that into you.”

  16. Yes, stop feeling sorry for yourselves, “nice guys”. If you were attractive, you wouldn’t go for complete rotters either.

  17. @ Heather-*golf claps* I dated one too many of those “I’m such a nice guy,women want bad boys” types who turn out to be complete and utter tools.

  18. Also, had his PC been confiscated by the police or something? Stalking allegations, perhaps?

  19. @Sixkiller – surely you meant “kalimera”?

  20. I AM a nice guy and women don’t talk to me… in fact, I’m SUCH a nice guy, my hand doesn’t even want to get to know me better.

    I’ve also spent quite a few sad and lonely nights playing my flight simulator because of that :( .

  21. “flying” is usually a term for people that use FleshLights. FL is the abbreviation wheras you add the ying for FLying… ew.

  22. William needs a flight stimulator…

  23. It’s like that thing .. great until he opens his mouth. Or in this case types something ..

  24. Maybe he’s talking about waitresses in Denny’s (where he goes every night at 3 am) who have to be nice to him professionally?

  25. @ Boz – If he can’t get anyone from the overnight Denny’s staff, then wow…..just wow.

  26. @ Ryan-”ew” is right.I only heard about FL recently-I could have gone another 37 years without knowing about them…I didn’t know the jargon either until now.I think I need to go scrub off a few layers of skin and bleach myself afterwards.

  27. @Rick

    I’ve seen some hot chicks working in Denny’s!

  28. Pity-fuck request: DENIED.

  29. @Boz – Not so much in my parts haha. I’m probably just bitter because of a late-night incident involving a 45 year old waitress wanting me to, “have a special grand slam breakfast at her house” when she got done working. This is not a joke.

  30. Will, why don’t you try dudes for a while? At least you might get some pity sex.

  31. Stop being a little bitch and go fuck something.

    Something, indeed.

  32. @Rick – you should be so lucky a 45 year old waitress would be interested in you; You’re 88 aren’t you?

  33. If not Denny’s then try Waffle House….they’ll do him

  34. I think my favourite part of this post is the caption. Classic.

  35. Whatever, dudes like these in their 30s get their pick of the litter once girls in their 20s have been raped and pillaged by their “hot boyfriends” or been divorced by 35. You know its true…

  36. William.
    Perhaps these girls that like you so much are afraid of getting to know you because there will be a dircect correlation between increasing intimate knowledge of you and decreasing affection towards you?

  37. Another Chris-Chan? Sounds very possible here.

  38. He looks like desperate dan in that picture, a jaw the size of mother earth

  39. All I could think of when I saw that pic was…
    Son, I am disappoint.

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