Friday, May 28, 2010

Day by Day

previous post: Little Wins

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61 Comments

  1. BEN

  2. Oh my, how I want to smash Mitch’s face with my fist, foot, and elbows. He fails at life and parenting, and I hope his son escapes that loser’s gravitational pull asap.

  3. Kirbby needs to come here, so I can teach him a lesson! Grrr.

  4. Oh, and I agree Miss Shegas. Unreal.

  5. i lawled at martin

  6. Had to Google Sasha Grey. Thankfully I’m not at work.

  7. mmmm and Mitch still wants to go to work after having some beers… loser.. maybe he works at Kmart with Joe

  8. Who knew lamebook could educate me on pornographic actresses.

  9. Loser? No way. That’s total dedication.

  10. MsBuzzkillington

    I was walking home one day and a bird pooped on my arm. Thank god I was wearing a long sleeve shirt.

    Way to be an alcoholic Mitch, way to be. Drinking and driving is bad… didn’t you learn the first time? I would have left you too.

    Didn’t you learn anything from Family Guy Karla? Being a good girlfriend is sitting in the car and smelling your guys farts and pretending like nothing happened.

    Or what about South Park? You NEED to fart, it is a natural process. If you try and hold it in, bad bad things will happen.

  11. I want more details on the pregnant lesbian near-death.

  12. @MsBuzz

    I once got pooped on, on the shoulder, while walking to my final in high school. I wish it would’ve hit skin, so that I could wipe/wash it off and go on with my day without a white reminder of the morning. A reminder that the world could see and know what it was. A reminder that tasted oddly of cheese puffs and blueberries.

    I’ve e-mailed Cheetos numerous times about how amazing a flavor combination that ended up being, but they have not responded, nor released this new product in the past 10 years :( .

  13. MsBuzz – Best episode of Family Guy ever.

    Me too, mwnci tal. But not sure I’m ready for the letdown.

  14. Ugh, Sasha Grey. *vomit*
    and Karla, chill out! You gotta learn to love your mans farts ;)

  15. Apparently Mitch has a problem with drinking and driving and had to have the breathalyzer installed on his car. If he can’t be responsible enough not to drink before going to work, how the hell has he managed to raise a kid?

  16. Come on, Kirbby, really?

    Then again, I had an International Relations class with a girl who didn’t know Canada was another country until she watched The Proposal. Ick.

  17. @leftfoot

    At first I thought “my car won’t start” meant that he was actually being somewhat responsible and didn’t want to drive while drunk. But now I’m 100% convinced that you’re right… it must not be actually starting, because he’s over the limit.

    Awesome… that just made that post so much better.

    Wait… why am I crying, then?

  18. @mwnci tal I too want more details on the pregnat lesbian near death thing… pictures as well… I need the whole thing to fully grasp what is going on here.

  19. since malteaser isn’t hear: LOL

  20. I am curious as well?

  21. @eenerbl

    I’m assuming you’re asking me… the answer is yes, you ARE curious as well.

  22. I would call Karla an outrageous c-word, but lame lamebook would mod out my comment again.

  23. Mexico and Florida are my favorite US states. Canada, Montana and Minnesota are just too cold for my liking.

  24. I learn something new every day too, Kirbby. For instance, today I learned that there are dipshits on this planet who would actually give their kid a name like Kirbby. And apparently the old adage about the apple not falling far from the tree is true too.

  25. Mmmmmm, airborne poop particles. Protein ya don’t even have to work for! Why is Karla complaining?

  26. Glad you cleared that up for me mcowles, I wasn’t sure.

  27. svpdefenestrez

    The only time that my boyfriend annoyed me with his farting was when he sat on my lap and farted to piss me off. In a car just open the window!

  28. I get the feeling that Karla doesn’t know what a window is.

  29. Karla *did* say that he claimed is was the outside air that stunk, so she was probably afraid to open the window.

    No excuse for fish homicide, though.

  30. thank you soooo much growl3th…I was about to google Sasha Grey too and I AM at work….that would have been embarrassing….

    Fortunately I can guess from your comment who or what she is….

  31. I am curious about this pregnant lesbian. Sounds kinda like a girl I used to know. Last time I saw her she was living with her girlfriend, now she’s all knocked up. Not that surprising really, most academics in the field of human sexuality agree that it’s much more of a spectrum, very few people are 100% gay or straight.

    Also this girl was not particularly prone to violence, but if it was in self-defense she would kick your damn butt and not be afraid to use weapons.

    I doubt that it refers to her, but the guy sounds like a douche so I’m guessing he was provoking the ‘pregnant lesbian’ in some way. Never provoke a pregnant woman, lesbian or not.

  32. 1) I want to meet Mitch, laugh at his face, and walk off.

    2) The fail is that the kid is named Kirbby. His post is just the icing on top of the cake

    3) Um…..good for Josh?

    4) Same as #1

    5) As the great malteaser would say, “lol”

    6) Sasha Grey is hot. Just putting that out there.

  33. Yeah. Take it out on the goldfish. That’ll learn him.

  34. Honestly,
    how do you grow up and go through school without knowing Canada is a country.

  35. badasscooldude

    Why Sasha Grey? What makes her so special? She is not any different from Random Slut #56 and she doesn’t do the really kinky stuff (or so I heard) like interracial shemale midget amputee pegging or something… I don’t understand..

  36. Mitch = fucktard.
    Kirbby = fucktard
    Josh = I’m not even sure what he equals. Where the hell are the details?
    Anna=that must have been the worst shit ever LOL!
    Karla=I’d probably kill the fish too.
    Martin=fucktard with a good reference.

  37. Poor goldfish :( not his fault his owner is gross.

  38. The worst part is Kirbby is a Canadian.

  39. Walter Sobchak

    In all fairness to Kirbby, it would be good for Canadia to become an American state. It’s a really crappy country but it could become a mediocre state.

  40. mm, I’d be able to agree with you slightly more if you were talking about a real country i.e. not “Canadia”. It’s people like you saying things like that that make people think contrary to your opinion that Canada is crap in comparison to a country like the US. In all fairness…

  41. Only people from crappy countries care about what people from other countries think about their countries and/or Canadia and don’t have a sense of humour aboot it.

  42. Lmao. Only people from crappy countries think that? Mmm. I see. So that’s why the Americans nearly rip their throats out at all the Olympics. Or that’s why you guys got so defensive when you lost the biggest hockey match of the century.

    Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you’re right and your country is so great, you shouldn’t have to care what anyone else thinks. Just keep your hands on your chests and your guns on your holsters until the Chinese overflow all corners of the earth. Who cares right? You guys certainly shouldn’t.

    By the way, hockey is that game where you skate on ice (frozen water) and try to get this black, plastic disc into a rectangular shaped area netted off called a goal. Using wooden or fibreglass sticks shaped into something resembling an “L”. You know that team that can’t even fill half an arena, the Atlanta Thrashers? Like those guys.

  43. AHHH Olympic Hockey… Whatever… What I know is that my son’s hockey team went TO Canada, played against all Canadian teams and WHOOPED some Canadian ASS! Took the Championship right on back to the Good ole U.S. of A! Now that’s hockey..

  44. thank you rockso, it’s not so much that i lack a sense of humour, it’s more that i’m chuckling to myself at the sheer stupidity of a person I’ve now learnt is American, what a surprise… you and your geographical skills really do overwhelm me. Congratulations for still calling it Canadia; maybe it’s just me and my lack of an american sense of humour, but i didn’t really laugh at that…

  45. @ohhhelllnaw – I hope your son makes it to the Olympics some day … maybe you’ll have a chance at the gold then.Maybe.

    @Walter – seriously, NOBODY says ‘aboot’ in Canada… unless they are a farmer missing some footwear and pose a question about it’s whereabouts lol.

  46. I’ve never heard of this “hockey” crap. I think I once saw something on tv where two guys were dressed like padded ice soldiers. They started punching each other then hugging and kissing. It’s probably that. I’m sure Canadia is really crappy at hockey anyway. It’s a pretty crap country. Where are you guys from anyway?

  47. Ughhh, ignorant Americans..

  48. Yup it probably was… and yes @juststop, i agree… I’m from UK.

  49. @ohhelllnaw – Your son’s hockey team probably defeated the Canadian teams because the programs in the United States are copying those of Hockey Canada. So it isn’t as much as the Good ole U.S. of A as it is Good ole Canadian Hockey Tactics Wearing Jerseys That Have Stars And Stripes On Them.

    @Walter – You should consider going into stand-up. The only problem is that the top comedians in the world all perform in Montreal. So you wouldn’t make it very far. But then again, at least there’s no risk of injuring yourself, seeing how it must cost like thirty bucks for a band-aid in the Good Ole U.S. of A. I wonder how much it must cost for stitches, damn.

    Better make sure not to pace back and forth too much on stage.

  50. Americans can say whatever they want but all the other countries are still snickering about their fail search for that WOMD. Maybe they still left a few rocks unturned in the middle-east.

  51. Sasha Grey is one slut you could fuck with an umbrella and open it up while the shits inside her. I’ve got the umbrella, I just need her now.

  52. Is it too much to hope that child support could see Mitch’s post?

    or that the RSPCA kicks Karla in the head?

  53. Walter Sobchak

    So maybe I didn’t know that Canadiaians were from Canada and not Canadia but at least I don’t say dumb shit like “you wouldn’t make it very far as a stand up comedian because all the top stand up comedians may or may not perform in Montreal at some point in their careers.” You idiot.

    And by the way, I am American…… South American. I’m from British Columbia.

  54. @Alifus it’s make no reference to how old his “son” is; for all we know he could be 16 or 17 and perfectly capable of making his own way to school. But yeah, I wouldn’t mind putting her in a room without food for four days…

  55. Lol stupid, ignorant Americans…I’ve been down there, they’re really not all that bad. It’s just people like Walter suchandsuch that give the country a bad name.

  56. well Rockso seemed to get butthurt pretty quick

    Most of the other Americans I know didn’t think we would really do anything in the Olympics hockey-wise. We generally seem to think it’s terrific that we beat Canada once and went to OT for the gold with them. I mean, Canada did invent the sport, right? Wouldn’t that be more of an indictment agaisnt Canada then, that it took them overtime to go .500 against the USA?

    Also, you say that “Your son’s hockey team probably defeated the Canadian teams because the programs in the United States are copying those of Hockey Canada. So it isn’t as much as the Good ole U.S. of A as it is Good ole Canadian Hockey Tactics Wearing Jerseys That Have Stars And Stripes On Them.”

    I would assume that the Canadian teams use the Hockey Canada program also, correct? So, if they both use the same programs, and the only difference is that one group is Canadian, and the other is American, wouldn’t that mean it was the “Good ole U.S. of A”? Clearly with training and tactics the same, the youth hockey players of America are better. :)

  57. I actually don’t really have a problem with Canadia. I just thought it would be funny to give Canadians a hard time because they never really get attention. But I didn’t expect anybody to waste their time responding to me calling Canadia crappy.

    But it is interesting that people respond with things like:
    1. Americans are ignorant because Walter likes to call Canada “Canadia.” (Anybody of average intelligence should have been able to tell that was part of the insult.)

    2. WMD’s (Ummm….ok. Who cares anymore? Why not bring up Monica Lewinsky while you’re at it? Nobody cares anymore.)

    3. Hockey. (Again, who cares?)

    4. Stand up comedians who perform in Montreal. ( Seriously??????)

    Why don’t talk about the natural beauty of Canada? Or how the people are friendly and forward-thinking? Or how it’s a safe and wonderful place to live. Or ANYTHING positive about the place (hockey doesn’t count, because seriously, nobody cares).

  58. Wow. Really?
    Internet nationalism?
    Who cares what country you were born in?

  59. footfootfootfoot

    We cannot be kind to each other here for even an hour. We whisper, and hint, and chuckle and grin at our brother’s shame; however you take it we men are a little breed.
    –Alfred Lord Tennyson

  60. @ Shipoopi – You said that “I would assume that the Canadian teams use the Hockey Canada program also, correct? So, if they both use the same programs, and the only difference is that one group is Canadian, and the other is American, wouldn’t that mean it was the “Good ole U.S. of A”? Clearly with training and tactics the same, the youth hockey players of America are better. ”

    They won one year, so it makes them better all around. Okay. I like your logic. They’re catching up, or caught up already, because of the program.

    @Walter – I thought being idiots was the point of this conversation. I mean, Jesus, we’re discussing this on a website about Facebook, not even Facebook itself. I think somebody took it a little far. I don’t have any problems with America. I agree with Dang It.

    As for Hockey, I think you underestimate the amount of enthusiasm about it in Canada. I know the Americans like baseball and football, and they get pretty enthusiastic about it, but it’s nothing like Canada and hockey. When people say it’s a cult, they aren’t kidding. That isn’t true for some of Canada. But most places where I’ve been (Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, and even effing Winnipeg who doesn’t even have a team anymore, all of the Maritimes, Vancouver, little towns scattered around Ontario) are nuts about it.

  61. @Rockso – You know it. Agree with all of the above and I’m a effing Winnipeger.

    @ Walter? – You sir, can kiss my naturally beautiful, friendly, forward thinking butt. ;)

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