Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Danny’s Injured Pride

previous post: Tooooo Much

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41 Comments

  1. Dannyboy is a real man.

  2. Pedophile are funny

  3. Pedo’s are everywhere these days…

  4. 2-letter ownage by Steph: “ew”

  5. …And then in 2004 they found this wonderful new cyberland to be creepy in…

  6. Is it just me? Or does Steph’s Facebook picture look strikingly familiar?

  7. bah! amazing!

  8. Steph does look pretty fine though

    Dan is pure win though

  9. How, exactly, is a Facebook body more bangin’ than a normal one?! Photoshop?

  10. Would have been even more win if he’d simply scored her out of 10 on her cast then left.

  11. That picture is common on FB. It’s from one of the match.com or some kind of match site. I’ve 4 people on my facebook with that exact picture. THAT is lame. And it’s probably Chris’ fake account.

  12. Daniel FTW!

  13. Fake as fuck. “Steph’s” profile pic is as old as the internet.

  14. I think part of the “lame” is the fact that she uses that as her profile pic. Otherwise it’d all be blurred out

  15. Sixteen is the legal age of consent in the UK, so not seeing the problem with Daniel over on this side of the pond.

  16. From the memoirs of Danny:

    I remember it like it was yesterday, because, well, it was. I had been chatting up this facebook hottie for awhile, telling her funny stories and talking about how I love puppies more than people. Chicks dig that sort of stuff… and the Dan Man gives chicks what they want.

    Anyway, she tells me that her parents are out of town for the night and that I should come “hang”, to which I reply “I doubt there will be much hanging, when I see that slammin’ body in person.” She just giggled and gave me one of these numbers: <3. I knew right then and there that I was golden (just like I was gonna be for real, when shepee-d on me later.)

    I know girls like flowers and candy, so I bought her one of those silk roses that they sell at the counter of the Chinese Buffet and a few packs of skittles. I know some people would think this was cheap, but I threw in a few leftover Starbursts from halloween, so I was sure she'd be impressed.

    I rolled up to her house in my A-Team style van and walked up to the door. When she opened it, my jaw dropped to the floor. Her picture was fake, this was not my hottie girl. Through my clenched teeth and tear filled eyes, I asked her how old she was. She said 16 years old, to which I replied "I came here thinking you were a different age… you told me you were 13 online! Hell, 16 is LEGAL in this state. If I wanted sex with someone that had fully developed body parts, I'd be with my wife right now! I'm leaving and I'm taking my skittles with me!"

    Women be bitches.

  17. LMAO!! I like Daniel!!

  18. I can’t believe they actually posted this. This is so fake it’s not funny. The picture of that girl appears EVERYWHERE on the internet in ads.

  19. McCowles, also add: And Chris Hansen was waiting in the kitchen anyways. =)

  20. @McCowles: I really hope you have an A-Team van, that would make my day?

  21. What exactly is a ‘facebook body’?

  22. Danny is the man, at least he said thanks!

  23. Verbification of the week: “shepee’d”.

    Finally! The internet admits that the real reason for those feminine-urine-directing cardboard funnels is not convenience at festivals and on camping trips, but rather the level of accuracy that can be achieved when splish-sploshing your hot wee-wee on the man’s face/body/feet/whatever.

    Incidental observation: yeah, 16 is legal in the UK, so not very shocking here. Indeed, my aim at the age of 14 was to lose my virginity before it was legal, although thinking back I can’t quite remember why this was so important to me.

  24. I wish I had an A-Team van :( .

  25. She looks like she’s asking for it in that profile pic.

    Stupid whore.

  26. @ mcowles: boo that, you could have lied! Shattered dreams, shattered…

  27. I’m pretty sure this is fake. I saw that girl’s profile picture on an ad for a porn site.

  28. This is WAYYYY too well written for it to be real. There’s one dude who thinks he’s ghetto yet writes correctly (with all apostrophes in place!) and a “16 yr. old” chick who also uses alot of proper punctuation and capitalized lettering…

    I smell fake.

  29. I recall writing this well when I was 16. Not everyone finds puncuating and spelling difficult.

  30. @Nyn
    You would be surprised… I was 15 when I first started typing ‘correctly’ online..whereas my mother still types liek dis bcuz its esier she says.
    …Yeah, that looks stupid.

  31. Lillith my Alter Ego

    Chris is funny.

  32. What’s with all these people who are so bent on saying “This one’s fake, that’s one’s fake, stupid lamebook”. Like geez, you care way to much. Lamebook is not some big conglomorate trying to pull the tool over your eyes, it’s a cheap laugh. Enjoy it for what it is, no one is impressed by your vast knowledge of internet forgeries.

  33. wool* not tool. Since i know you all care so much about typo’s as well.

  34. and too* while I’m at it. Don’t want anyone cutting down my grammarical prowess. My self esteem just couldn’t take it.

  35. @28: Seriously? You think it’s fake because a 16 year old can use basic grammar?

    Perhaps you couldn’t (or won’t be able to) spell at that age, but people hoo tlk lyk dis r da mynoritee.

  36. @28: How could this be fake? I’ll openly admit that I’m 16 years old myself, but the factor of age doesn’t matter when it comes to grammar (Unless you’re like 5 years old, but even then, I was at 10 years old and still I typed properly..) Personally I find it a shame that people don’t know the proper use of punctuation and capitalization. Honestly it makes my head feel like someone is rattling bricks inside of it. Just because a good portion of teenagers pr3fr 2 typ lyk dis (That was painful), doesn’t mean they all do. Just because someone would like to make it look like they have an education doesn’t really make it fake. (See? Punctuation may be a bit off, but for the most part it’s correct, also I actually use capitalization! It’s a miracle! I’m also a fan of spell check :P )

  37. @28: Basic grammar is something we should all have coming out of *elementary* school, much less high-schools. The low-bar standards of the public education system is what puts out this ridiculous junk of an education that children and teens have today.

  38. Yo Chris…it anit no fun if the homies can’t have some

  39. I just realized I didn’t comment on this one… and that simply cannot be.

    …ehhhh.

  40. I like how everyone’s saying that this is fake because of her grammar and spelling being so perfect, yet she misspelled “bailed” and no one is even talking about that. Albeit, “baled” is a word, but it’s definitely not the word she was looking for.

    Oh, by the way, I, too, am 16 and look at my spelling and grammar. Why, it’s correct! How can this be? I mean, if I’m a teenager, shouldn’t I be uneducated and not know how to type properly? A teenager with good grammar and spelling…this is blasphemy!

  41. I like you, kid. ;)

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