Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Creature Captures

previous post: Background Checks!

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53 Comments

  1. stever

  2. Generally speaking, I don’t mind creepy crawly thingies, but that spider is fucking sick. Ugh.

    *shudders*

  3. That 2nd one reminds of a story:

    Back about 6 years ago, I was helping to run a camp to save homosexual youths (similar to the Focus on the Family’s “Pray Away The Gay” concept) from their sin and one of the younger campers – about 13 or 14 – got bitten by a very large spider. It was this sign from God which finally convinced the young camper that his homosexual desires were being pushed upon him by Satan and that he needed to pray for forgiveness.

    If only it were that simple for the rest of the homosexuals.

    As found in Timothy 1:9-10

    Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine

  4. “Pray Away The Gay”…

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m laughing.

    Thanks, d.

  5. My arachnophobia just went into overdrive.

  6. If only there were “Pray Away The Stupid(ity)”

  7. Pray away the gay is classic.

  8. yer mom’s gay.

  9. I also need a new mouse

  10. Dan you never fail to make me laugh. I look forward to your posts. Praise the lord.

  11. pray away the gays… awesome.

    Spiders…. SPIDERS… WHERE!!!! (RUNS AWAY)…

  12. God…I hate spiders. I FREAKING HATE SPIDERS. That picture made my cringe. I can’t look at it. Seriously. That’s just disgusting. Terrifying. *shudder*

    Okay, I’m done.

  13. Dan, that doesn’t work. Don’t be dumb. And my ex is alot like that spider too. She killed me with one bite

  14. Yeah, not a fan of spiders either. I just killed a huge one the other day, she was pregnant! I think I unloaded a whole can of raid! Ewwwww!

  15. The backend of that spider looks really fake and plastic. :S

  16. I think a little bit of wee just came out when I saw that spider.

  17. i want that spider xD

  18. dirtylittlepretty

    who dropped thier red gummy bear on that spiders back??

  19. toxicrandomness

    @Dan_fargis :

    Sign from God? Are you joking…
    He was camping and got bit by a spider..
    So what if he’s gay.
    Spiders bite people..
    Shit happens.

  20. dan_fargis: How ’bout we “Pray Away the HATE” ?

    that being said, I hope I never ever run into a spider like that in real life

  21. No such thing as a rat spider. And that’s the spider’s HEAD you eejits.

  22. I had to go find that spider somewhere else on the internet. turns out its also called the Brazilian wandering spider, and while not fatal, a bite on a (male) human can cause a long term erection that is “uncomfortable, can last for many hours and can lead to impotence.” and scientists are studying the venom for treatment erectile dysfunction . Ain’t that the shit!?!?

  23. Fargis, your Bibble (Leviticus 10:10 to be exact) says to stone adulterers to death, 3 verses before it says homosexuality is an “abomination”. Put your money where your mouth is, kill some adulterers and then go to prison where you’ll no longer be able to post on here.

  24. And yes, I meant to type ‘Bibble’ as to make it sound stupid.

  25. Someone owning a mac? haha, yeh that is lame.

  26. @Dan_fargis

    You disgust me… i think we all need to help you prey away the arshole inside of you…

    being gay is not and never has been a sin… love is not a sin, adultery is a sin, but gay AND straight ppl are prone to that. Modern bibles are created to establish a reason to persecute those that ppl dont want to understood. Jesus and his twelve apostles… cant get any gayer than that ;)

  27. oops *understand* you get the point but…

  28. @jbtulip

    He’s trolling, you moron.

  29. @dan_fargis I’m a hetero man but if I ever catch you I’d tickle you and then fuck you real good

  30. @nerdbopper… i dont think that was called for :(

  31. @ 22: It’s actually a male mouse spider: http://www.berniespestcontrol.com.au/media/mouse_spider-2b.jpg. Their venom is similar to a funnel-web, but they’re a lot less agressive so tend to be less deadly.
    And it is most definatley NOT a Brazilian Wandering Spider. They look more like Huntsmen spiders and are considered one of the most dangerous spiders in the world. They look like this: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/09/05/article-1052712-0288D2FE00000578-214_468x286.jpg

    What? I like spiders. And sharks. And serial killers. I just like the letter ‘s’.

  32. That spider reminds me of an infected puncture wound I had once. We were logging a section of woods out in Bum Fucked, Missouri. The guy we had hooking the chokers missed one of his links. As the skyline was pulling the logs up, one of them came undone about halfway up the hill. I was felling a tree at the time and didn’t notice it until it made about half of it’s decent. I jumped out of the just in time and and my leg landed on a broken stick.

    Like I said, we were in the middle of nowhere so I cleaned it up and put a dressing over it. I didn’t know that it was as deep as it was.

    Two days later, it looked like that except the red part was in middle. That was some pain that I NEVER want to go through again. They prescribed me oxycotin for the pain. That was an experience I will never forget. It sure as hell wasn’t worth the pain though.

  33. A lot of people forget the real fargis. Even though he shows it all the time. You just have to read between the lines.

    Will the real Dan Fargis please stand up, please stand up, please stand up!

  34. I always thought being bit by a spider while camping was a sign from God to take more care when camping!

  35. OMG….altogether now…it’s called SARCASM. Whoever isn’t laughing with Fargis is someone I wouldn’t want to be around. Oy vey.

  36. Gaaaaaaah

    spider

  37. @ miss cat… cant call a person’s belief sarcasm just because you dont believe in his opinions. There was no sarcasm.

    @ defectiveuser… i might be slow today.. who is the real dan fargis?

    As for the spider.. eek.. its too scary for me! But coming from a country full of deadly spiders that can be as small as a 5c piece.. I think i prefer the one i can see and step on..lol

  38. @jb

    The real Dan Fargis is a super=liberal who trolls in character as a rabid fundamentalist Christian fuckwit in order to ridicule them

    oh god giant fucking spider

  39. Best Dan Fargis post ever.

    But more importantly, and truly disturbing: Jonty?

  40. I’m curious as to how much time and effort fargis puts into his ‘rants’.

    spider

  41. I was bitten by a spider once, as a young man. I hadn’t realized then that I was gay. A few years later, I did. It was a true sign from God.

    I haven’t been bitten by a spider since.

  42. _isglory, i kind of love you.

  43. @ mwnci tal .. thanks for that… makes a lot more sense now lol. Wish someone had said that before instead of insulting my blissful ignorance ;)

  44. ‘If only it were that simple for the rest of the homosexuals.’

    Brilliant. dan fargis wins again.

  45. Why do people rage about dan_fargis? I’d think that it was clear he’s a troll.

  46. Ash...Housewares

    @14…ee? My curiosity has gotten the better of me. Exactly how did you know the spider was pregnant? Tell the truth now are you some sort of OB/GYN Kenobi?

  47. @campbellconey Jonty is short for Jonathan I think. There was a guy at my sixth form who everyone called Jonty.

  48. @45 I wish I was! But no. They all came out when I was attempting to kill it.

  49. 47, that’s a horror movie story. I seriously just shuddered.

  50. @_isglory

    Scientifically speaking…. Spiders are afraid of homosexuals.. Good for you though… I’m happy for you mate..

  51. Only just realised that dan is a troll. I feel quite foolish but at the same time relieved.

  52. Yeah, stupid Dan Fargis is on here all the time trying to push extreme Christianity onto people by being stupid. Last time I checked, annoying people on Lamebook doesn’t make them agree with your religious point of view.

  53. @idiotbarbie…

    yeah you’re right.. :D Who speaks about religion in the lamebooook…

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