Wednesday, August 25, 2010

ContraDICKtion

previous post: Wrecked

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69 Comments

  1. Heh. Michael FTW.

  2. this post is full of so much win it rules. unlike alordslums who is a massive fag

  3. Wow, everyone is drinking Haterade today. Oh well, Megan is a whore.

  4. Michael is a cock

  5. Ha! I don’t know whats more Lame… calling yourself out on Facebook like that… or that super long rant…

    Full of awsome Lamebook thx :)

  6. I want to know what the group was.

  7. The group was ToysForTwats.

  8. I agree Micheal is a twat a one-liner would have suffice eg ‘Whatever whore’

  9. He’s going to be a lawyer or politician someday. See how he numbers the points of his arguments?

  10. My apologies for the non sequitor, but WTFSUP with these HORRIBLY annoying popups all of a sudden? I have a popup blocker… WTF?! It even disables the mouse scroll after you close the ad. AND I DO IMMEDIATELY CLOSE THE AD… I don’t even look to see what it’s advertising. Quit being a whore, Lamebook.

  11. Id say she got under his skin.

    That guy sure did post a lot of numbers…

  12. I never get popups, eepah.

  13. Glad he read her skank-bitchiness out. Delightful.

  14. Fuck these stupid pop-ups! What the FUCK Lamebook?!

  15. Seriously, What is with the outdated views people have on pregnancy before marriage? And how can it be seen as a worse fate to keep the child as opposed to abortion..?

    The worst part about young parenthood (I became a mother at 19), is the negative view from others.. Children should be celebrated, who cares if your social life takes a nosedive! Someone who has a child young can still have a very successful career, it is only their attitude that defines where they end up in life.

    Anyway, on a less serious note, Michael and Megan are both douche bags.

  16. @starrlite – What’s your secret?

    @ratcoonlover – Knows what I’m talking about!

  17. For the freaking WIN loved it!

  18. @eepah: just send lamebook a message telling them what popups you’re getting – they ask to notify them of popups so they can fix the problem

    and Megan was asking for it by being a condescending whore, but Michael could have been much more concise

  19. smokecrack0fuckchickens

    Tamika vs. Dan_fargis in 3, 2, 1….

  20. tl;dr.

  21. corporalflashback

    Ima hang around for Dan_fargis

    that’ll be interesting…

  22. dan_fargis is gone, people. Move on.

  23. He hasn’t been about since I said that he do more good helping out at a soup kitchen…maybe he wasn’t a troll and is now too engrossed in christian work to comment?

    Nah. He is probably biding his time thinking of a new angle.

  24. Gonna have to agree with Tamika here… well said.

  25. tl;dr

  26. @Ivy– I didn’t believe you at first, but yeah. Lamebook’s ‘Contact Us’ does ask you to notify them if you are getting annoying pop ups. So THANK YOU! :)

  27. @tamika

    I’d say if the baby was well planned, and not two teens humping each other cause they can’t control themselves then awesome, i don’t see why you should be judged for having a baby at 19.

    YET when someone has a baby out of wedlock, still in high school, and acting like the high-schools sperm bank she is officially a whore, no questions asked.

  28. I use google chrome at home and I think I’ve gotten pop-ups from lamebook somewhere between 5-10 times at most, and they show up behind the browser I’m in so it doesn’t even distract me. Might be a solution? That or firefox. I hate IE btw.

  29. i’m going to put it out there and say that michael and megan fucked, probably at northwest where she earned the title “crackhoe,” but then she moved on to someone more “christian-like” and that’s when michael decided to become a dick and swear off all whores, thereby creating whatever group offended megan.

    i mean, speaking from personal experience, this seems the most logical explanation.

  30. and as for who would win in an argument with the bible, i’m going to say that michael, being 19, doesn’t know fuck-all about the bible, except what he was forced to memorize for young life or awana.

  31. yeah i agree, they definitely fucked. and also would like to roll my eyes at “everyone refused to fuck Megan bc they have morals at this lutheran school”. and Micheal sounds like a man that will have major erectile dysfunction later in life. :D (TOO BAD for Megan, it was probly an invite to the biggest little dick club, at least she had fair warning this time.)

  32. My favorite part: “…to get pregnant and actually (if not shortly after) have a kid…”

    That’s the usual progression of pregnancy. You get pregnant and, shortly after, have a kid.
    Unless he was protesting against her decision to not terminate the pregnancy. If that were the case he doesn’t seem every Christian, either

  33. Michel is a lame douchebag who apparently has spent way too much time thinking about this girl.

  34. I agree with Tamika. I had my first daughter at 19 as well and went on to having my second with the same man three years later. I was only dating him and having sex with him.

    you know what, I was a better mother than most of the other older women who had children. most married young and divorced before they were 25. so I for one do not give a fuck about marriage before sex. doesn’t mean shit to me. I’m not religious either, that’s another reason I don’t care.

  35. @Amanda – That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s not every day you meet a Christian who’s both pro-choice and rabidly judgmental.

  36. @eepah: I’m here to help :)

    @Amanda: I think he was saying that she had the kid right around graduation (if not before, then shortly after graduation)

    The point is, if you are going to be ultra religious and judgmental, you should probably make sure you haven’t done anything that your church would seriously frown upon (i.e. premarital sex). Otherwise people will just call you out for being a hypocrite.

  37. I’m with Tamika. Megan may very well be a known whore, but having a child while young an unmarried doesn’t automatically = whore. I have four children, am married to their father, we both have “careers” as opposed to “jobs”, and we don’t live off of our states welfare system. Oh, and I had our first child at 17. Bring it Fargis.

  38. Pop-ups? What are those?

  39. FlapjacksAreAmazing

    way to go with the bible rage Michael.

  40. Must be a David Koresh follower..

  41. If women would stop having sex with misogynists then guys like Michael would become extinct in a couple of generations.

  42. I guessing Micheal can’t count past two.

  43. “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither FORNICATORS, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists shall inherit the kingdom of God.”
    1 Corinthians 6:9-10

    “Now the body is not for FORNICATION, but for the Lord; And the Lord is for the body. Flee FORNICATION! Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth FORNICATION sinneth against his own body.”
    1 Corinthians 6:13b, 18

    “Neither let us commit FORNICATION, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.”
    1 Corinthians 10:8

    “If a man entices a virgin WHO IS NOT BETROTHED, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife.”
    Exodus 22:16

    “She shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being PROMISCUOUS while still in her father’s house. You must purge the EVIL from among you.”
    Deuteronomy 22:21

    “Let MARRIAGE be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge FORNICATORS and adulterers.”
    Hebrews 13:4

    “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these, adultery, FORNICATION, uncleanness, lavisciousness … of which I tell you before, as I have told you in time past, that they who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”
    Galatians 5:19-21

    “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from FORNICATION: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which do not know God.”
    1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

    “But FORNICATION, and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as you becometh saints … for this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of God.”
    Ephesians 5:2,5

    “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and FORNICATORS, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the SECOND DEATH.”
    Revelation 21:8

  44. thou shall have intercourse all throughout the night and into the day.let it be rejoiced among us all that a penis feels good in a vagina and thou shalt not deny thy neighbor of orgasms.
    ohbabybaby 12:49

    damn,im waaaaaaaaaaay to high to be clever or witty right now.
    nice.

  45. I think Michael has to have sex….

  46. #44 I think you want to flip over to the Song of Solomon.

    Woman: Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits….
    Man: The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman…. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins….
    Woman: I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me. Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves. The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved. [Read: Let's go do it out in the fields where you can eat my hot p*ssy!]

    Now if someone can’t control themselves before marriage, it stands to reason that they won’t be turning you down after marriage, so you’ll get a lot of sex with your spouse.
    Also: They have morals at a LUTHERAN school? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahah… oh, it kills me!

  47. Michael’s a judgmental prick that needs a good railing from behind (his preference, I’m sure).

  48. sayingwhatimreallythinking

    If i already weren’t in love with an awesome christian like Michael, i would hunt him down and marry him! Good on him- nearly every girl i went to high school got knocked up the same year they left school and none of the guys stuck around. Snowblower, Aligator3 and Alijacket sounds like you all got knocked up wither before you could leave, or just after you left school. GO MICHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Ah Michael. Gotta love the hateful Christians. I read Megan’s comment as her calling him out on his self-proclaimed christianity, not her judging him. I think Michael might be firmly stuck in the clothing storage unit… might be his problem.

  50. @Tamika

    I resent your comment that our views are “outdated.” It’s our RELIGION. It’s been around for THOUSANDS of years and we don’t change our beliefs to conform to popular culture. Our views may be “outdated” but that’s how religion works. If you’re not religious, that’s fine, but leave those who are religious alone. We have freedom to practice whatever faith we choose in this country.

  51. @muepsilongamma

    really? cause I can think of about a dozen things off the top of my head that were commanded in the bible that are no longer/seldomly practiced

  52. LOL at “say!” No, I never got knocked up. I left a tiny town out in the middle of nowhere for the big city where I received 2 degrees and am currently working on my 3rd. I went to high school with a few self-riteous, judgmental pricks like Michael who feel the need to blast other’s mistakes all over facebook for their friends and family to read. A simple explanation of his “invite” would have worked. He didn’t have to berate her like that. It wasn’t funny. It was humiliating to both of them. Maybe if he actually got laid, he wouldn’t be an uptight asshole.

  53. @waitwhatisthat

    Name them and I will explain them to you.

    @snowblower

    I was fine with everything you said until you said “maybe if he actually got laid, he wouldn’t be an uptight asshole.” I take personal offense to that statement, as a virgin myself. Just because some people choose not to be sexually active doesn’t mean that they are automatically uptight assholes, and just because people are uptight assholes doesn’t mean they “can’t get laid.” Are you saying that priests, who remain celibate for their entire lives, are uptight assholes? What about bishops? Nuns? The pope?

    You people bash christians for preaching that fornication is a sin, but you turn around and tell us that it’s practically a sin to not be fornicating, belittling us for not going along with the changing times, telling us that our beliefs are “ancient” and “outdated.” It’s hypocritical and immature.

  54. Whoa, mu mu. Take a chill pill. It was a joke. What’s with all this “you people” jazz? I didn’t say anything about Christians. I think maybe you need get laid too!!

  55. Muepsilongamma=danfargis

  56. We’ve been over this, I only WISH I was Dan_Fargis. And okay, if you were only joking then I’ll let it go. I’m sorry, I should have specified that my rant wasn’t directed at you, it was at all the people who bash christianity like we’re nazis or something. And no, I don’t need to get laid. I don’t want to get laid.

  57. I think you mean you can’t get laid. And yes. Virgins are uptight. As are popes (many who had illegitimate children on the side), priests and nuns. They ARE all uptight.

  58. Hahahahaha! Care to back up your claims with some evidence? You are a troll, slippyslappy, and try as you might, your petty insults will not get a rise out of me. Grow up, little child!

  59. I expected there to be more people against Michael here. He goes from, “if someone cant control themselves BEFORE marriage how can you expect them to be able to control themselves IN marriage”, soon followed by, “im in college i dont give a shit and i dont have to be a mature adult till AFTER i graduate … college is supposed to be fun where you have new experiences.”

    He’s sort of saying that he doesn’t have to control himself (by being mature) until later on, right? What a freakin’ hypocrite.

  60. @whatusername He was only talking about fornication, not his maturity level. You’re comparing apples with oranges.

  61. fffff…. the whole idea is that michael shouldnt judge her for that!! things happen, she might have changed, and i’m not saying that she did anything wrong, but who gave him the authority to judge her and talk to her that way??? is that “christianity”??? havnt u learned anything from the bible??? christianity=love it’s as clear as that and yet i can only feel hate and fear with michael’s comment and he says he’s a good christian…

  62. Maybe that’s true, but she judged him first with her “very christian-like” comment. She tried to tell him that something he was doing was not in the spirit of christianity, and in turn, he told her of the things she was doing that were not in the spirit of christianity. He was only fighting back. Clearly, given her past, she had no right to call him out on this group invite, no matter how unchristian it was.

  63. He’s a weirdo. Satan take her down!

  64. Instigated or not she didnt bring it at the level he did, as for trying new things, she was at it well before his virgin prick had ever been tampered. Turn the other cheek is a good christian expression, with his distorted views he probably bends over and takes it between both of them.

  65. So because he’s conservative, he’s gay? I’m conservative too, and I believe that all fornicators will burn in hell if they don’t repent for their sins. So am I gay now?

  66. @65 Yes, I think that that is the official definition.

  67. @65 You certainly shouldn’t vote or have access to any important decisions…

  68. I feel ashamed to be named Megan.

  69. ish, who would want to get into an argument that involved the bible? that sounds impressively pointless, and not to mention, boring!

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