Friday, May 7, 2010

Christmas Comes Early

previous post: One Line Winners

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76 Comments

  1. fodo!!!!

  2. Why don’t you love me when I make me so damn easy to love?

  3. discreetsinner

    congrats to them for the food baby which is apparently their new addition

  4. The second one makes them look like they are mounted up on the wall, like a deer head or something. Yikes!

  5. frodo!!!! *

  6. BURRR!
    First!
    Yes bitches!

  7. Oh fuck nvm =\

  8. i dont think shes actually pregnant.. she just looks fat

  9. Wow I actually thought she was just fat in the first one.

    And as much as a hate first, I love it when it is falsely called!

  10. So good when “first” is called when it’s actually SIXTH! Yeah baby, suck my sixth.

  11. She’s fat and pregnant. She is in that death fat spiral which will lead her to being 50 lbs. heavier this time next year.

  12. I call my flabby stomach “my baby peanut” too!!!

    And for #2, she either misspelled her Facebook name or her name on the Christmas card…lol

  13. The second one creeps me out on so many, unexplainable, levels.

  14. @Looser it is great when they think they are all cool and then really they are 6th. Too much excitement. They try and think too much.

  15. Ok , normally when you guys make fun of maternity photos on here I don’t agree, but that first picture is not flattering and doesn’t show off a nice pregnant belly it just makes her look like a beached whale.

  16. I like how her name is “jenifer” as shown on the ‘from the album:” section, yet her name is spelled “Jennifer” on the xmas card. Can’t spell your own name!

  17. PeachyFuckinKeen

    How would they even know #1 is pregs? I thought she just put a hat on her stomach to make herself better.

  18. PeachyFuckinKeen

    I meant *make herself feel better*

  19. Walter Sobchak

    Haha at shortstop for the fail x5. I also enjoy a good first fail.

    Good call on the Jen(n)ifer spelling. What a retart.

    #1 is h-h-ho-ho-ho-hot!! (not really but lately my ears perk up at the scent of engorged pregnancy boobies)

  20. I guess ‘placenta pics’ to follow…fawwk.

  21. #2 is corny but ohgod #1…Well, I hope she delivers a healthy food baby.

  22. Mass no more placenta pics… I couldn’t eat that whole day last time

  23. lol@ cupid – no kidding, eh. A ‘placenta tree’ was one thing but c’mon.

  24. I think Jenifer may have eaten Christmas.

  25. But Placenta Jerky is SOOOOO good for you after having a baby. Just add some BBQ sauce and you’ll think it tastes like chicken!

  26. Looking at the picture, I’m assuming that the fetus is swimming in gravy, so that would make the placenta extra tasty. And based on this tubby broad’s appearance, I’m guessing conception took place by way of turkey baster, so everything comes full circle.

  27. There is no way #1 is preggo!

    I think she is either:
    a) using “pregnant” as an excuse for why she’s gotten so fat
    OR
    b) getting fat so her boyfriend will believe her when she tells him she’s pregnant, inorder to get him to propose of course.

    I know a girl who actually did the latter.

  28. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    I agree with cupid… no more placenta pics… that was disgusting!

  29. TylerDurdenUMD

    God I hate expectant mothers, both real and the ones who are only pregnant in their minds. I really do.

  30. I don’t like where this is going…

  31. The first one is probably still in the first trimester – that is flab, not a baby bump. Gross.

  32. Are you a fetal connoisseur as well Soup?

  33. @TylerDurden and what exactly does that mean?

  34. tellmelies – You may be confusing knowing a girl who did that and the movie Baby Mama.

    Just sayin’. ;-)

  35. molly: my name is not Shaniqua…I have never seen a movie entitled “Baby Mama”

  36. #27- the two pictures are the same person. I didn’t realize it at first either, but while #1 just looks fat, she definitely looks pregnant in the second picture.

  37. It is just how she is laying and possibly how the baby is positioned , its not pushing on her belly therefore she just looks fat

  38. Wow, Alen002, I really hope your site’s servers are going to be able to handle the traffic of every single user of this site rushing over to yours. Oh wait… there’s no way that’s going to happen. Which, incidentally, IS what she said.

  39. krasivaya_devushka

    She looks fat, not pregnant.

  40. BNortyBNoggin

    #1 She cropped out Princess Leia.

  41. @panda…good call! I didn’t even think to check to see if it was the same person, let alone the same album. I feel foolish. But that’s what happens when you have known people who fake pregnancy…you look at the world through pessimistic colored glasses.

    I, never having been pregnant before, do not know about fetus positions and what-not.

  42. Okay, I definitely spend way too much time on Lamebook. I recognized the couple from: http://www.lamebook.com/presh-out-the-box

  43. lol @ Noggin.

  44. @nuff

    Indeed I am. I’ve been working on a variety of marinades to enhance the flavor, but I just can’t beat the pickled perfection of fetal alcohol syndrome. Mother nature really does know what she’s doing.

  45. 2 quick things:

    1. I worked in a photography studio that looks similar to this one (based on the backgrounds and whatnot). I had no experience and was put behind a camera on day one…this may help to explain the awkwardness in pic #1. But it doesn’t excuse the fact that she’s so happy taking pictures that I’m sure embarrass her own mother.

    2. That poor husband. I can just see the pain in his face. That girl has got him under her thumb, no doubt.

  46. Santa hat lady is what is referred to in medical circles as PRAT.

    Pregnant and fat.

  47. Also, is it just me, or does this couple look a lot like the couple in an old Lamebook post where the baby is superimposed over a giftbox?

  48. 43- Dammit I wish I’d seen your post! I knew it!

  49. @trickiwoo…Wow, I thought these were the epitome of lame pregnancy photos until I went to THAT link. What are these people thinking??!?!

  50. And both her, and her husband are prats in the other way as well.

    And poor baby will then make it three of them.

  51. Don’t know if anyone noticed but.. either she spelled her name wrong on her facebook or they spelled her name wrong on the card.. I’m gonna go with the latter.

  52. How can I love you if you won’t lie down??!

  53. Wow I didn’t even realize both pics were the same person. Then I saw presh out of the box. It’s kind of reassuring knowing it is just one couple doing this instead of 3 separate morons.

  54. That first one doesn’t look pregnant, just fat.

  55. Well, I don’t know for sure that the first one is pregnant, but probably. I’m fat, pregnant, 29 weeks and not showing at all. Actually, lost 12 pounds so far and can’t stop losing weight, so not sure when I might show. No one that doesn’t know me personally can tell I’m pregnant, and I don’t feel pregnant, but I’ve had 3 ultrasounds that say otherwise and the OB never has trouble finding my baby’s healthy heartbeat every appointment.

  56. I should add that I wouldn’t take a picture of my stomach or have a picture taken professionally and post it on FB, though.

  57. Oh Christ, this is one of those instances where the FAIL is so extreme that it’s on the verge of becoming a WIN…

  58. LOL what’s sad is that the girl in the first pic is probably only 4 weeks pregnant.

  59. BlowMe____Away

    Sanchez, I hope you die in a fire.

  60. mymomruinedfacebook

    YES. These are simply amazing. The belly in the wreath? Named “The New Addition,” which sounds like some off beat 90′s boy band…

  61. Besides the obvious lame-ness of the pictures…did anyone notice she spelled her name “Jenifer” on her album, but “Jennifer” on the card? Extra special.

  62. I hate seeing pregnant women! ARG.

  63. southernbrunette

    dude i’m pregnant and i’m wayyy better looking than that. that’s not a pregnant belly, that’s a disgusting fat bitch belly. even if she is pregnant, you probably can’t tell the different between her pregnant belly and her disgusting fat belly.

    i can understand posting prego pictures up because you want to keep those memories, but the christmas card is a little much..and if you look that disgusting, probably a memory best forgotten instead of treasured. i’m in my 8th month and am no where near that fat. *shudder*

  64. southernbrunette

    not to mention pregnant bellies are firm, hers is like a disgusting bowl of lard.

  65. @southernbrunette
    ‘im pregnant and wayyyyyyy better looking’.
    It’s nothing to do with the stupidity of the photos the critique but yeah those ugly people should just stay inside and never entertain the idea of taking a picture of themselves.

    I bet you’re actually pretty ugly, people who are actually good-looking usually have a little more class.

  66. Lol, classy pic’s. It’s one thing to be excited over your first baby but can people please wait to start the god awful parade of “my kid” pictures and comments until the kid is actually born.

  67. “Look everybody, I have a legitimate excuse for being fat! I’m pregnant! And just in case you missed that, I’m going to send you a cringe inducing post card of me, hubby and my fat pregnant belly! See! You can’t call me fat anymore!!!!”

  68. Just when I thought it was safe too.

  69. ms anthropist

    @ southernbrunette

    insecure much?

  70. Peanut? Really??? The only peanut I see in that picture is her boobs. Seriously, look at them. Looks like a giant peanut.

  71. Grammar Police

    ^^^ lol, now when I look at them that’s all I see!

  72. she has amazing tits. that baby will be well fed

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  74. lol the first one’s just fat.

  75. Okay, i have to point out that since she was calling the baby an “it”, it probably put her UNDER the 5 month mark, which would explain WHY she doesn’t look all that pregnant. just sayin’

    Or unless they don’t want if it is a boy or a girl.

    Another thing, that guy’s smile looks SO forced :( it’s a tad disturbing :/

    And, in the 1st picture, that pose is just unflattering in general. i would think, for ANYONE.

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