Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Chin Up

previous post: YOLO



  1. this is


  2. ^ Correct

  3. I like this one for the most part, ‘cept retarded people are funny, too. Just not if you make fun of them right to their faces – because you don’t want them to feel bad or anything.

  4. Plus they have super human strength and could wipe the floor with anyone. So yes I only recommend making fun of them behind their back.

  5. Retard my leaky roof…

  6. ^well played

  7. True, turd, true. I recommend not ever getting into the grip of someone with Downs; truly crushing.

  8. Fake, like TI000.

  9. Why would someone go to McDonald’s to get a soda? 7-11 or AM-PM have better choices, and a lot more for less money.

  10. ^ you never heard of ‘dollar drink days’ son? Any size only a dollar!

  11. Now that annoying jingle is stuck in my head.

  12. C.S.B., no, I have not. Apparently, it only happens in Canada.

  13. That and hash oil

  14. fat lasses with diabetes happens everywhere.

  15. I’m jealous of this guy, he got to slam a fatty and and crazy god nut with one bitch-slap.

  16. *and a

  17. Beatus, All the McDonald’s around here have $1 drinks, as far as I know… at least in PA, where everyone’s fat.

  18. Interesting, Nails. None of them around Southern Nevada have it at all, and when I Googled “dollar drink days,” it resulted in a whole bunch of Canadian McDonald’s links and coupons. Maybe it’s trickling down from our hat.

  19. The corporation tries to get the markets (and franchises) in on it to promote them as a big ol’ drink-selling machine, but they don’t have to do it. No surprise they aren’t doing it in Southern NV, as all the illegals there would drink up all the big sodas, and they’d actually lose money. :-)
    I tried to make a funny there, but it probably didn’t work.

  20. I was going to point out the fact that the dry heat here causes people to buy the largest drink possible, but hey, targeting illegal aliens works, too.

    Instead, we have a local McDonald’s franchise sponsored soccer camp.

  21. there are no illegal humans.
    and you pricks really cannot say that mexicans are ‘illegal’ for moving back into their own traditional territory, that you cunts invaded and stole off them in the first fucking place (not unlike Hitler, I might add, in a Godwin-like move).

    FUCK YOU for saying different.

  22. … and I’m sure if you go back far enough in time you’ll find that they, in turn, “stole” it off someone else. At this point it doesn’t matter. Over a century of development makes it as much “ours” as anyone’s, with perfectly defensible right to establish certain legal prerequisites for entry and enjoyment of what’s been built here.

    And I’m sure that, wherever you are, if you’re in a modern, developed country, you also benefit from a society built in territory “stolen” from some previous occupier.

    So, FUCK YOU for being a self-righteous little beeyotch.

  23. Only a dollar, aallll summer! Damnit! It’s still stuck in my head!

  24. Humans aren’t illegal, but their actions are. The action of migrating to a country makes one an alien. Doing so without going through the established channels makes the migration unlawful, or illegal. Therefore, the term “illegal alien” is actually a valid term.

    There are more than just Mexicans that cross the U.S. borders illegally, so singling out Mexicans is hypocritical. Also, we didn’t steal it. Their president sold the land to us because he felt it was useless. Blame him, not the people who live here.

    Of course, you’re in Australia, and that means you robbed the land from aborigines, am I correct? So I believe that makes you a hypocrite.

    This is when I love the smug face on my avatar.

    So how’s your day going, MsAnne?

  25. ^Of course, you are assuming MsAnne isn’t Aboriginal.. so what does that make you?

  26. Um… I think you’re missing the point, beatus. I’m a white Australian too, so yeah, my people robbed the land from the Aborigines and continue to persecute them. During settlement of the colonies and for the next (at least) three generations, the Australian settlers and police practically wiped our First Nations People out through structured, government-sanctioned genocide and the public policy of “watering down” black blood and installing Aboriginal children in Christian ministries to be brain-washed and fondled. Yet, that doesn’t make me a hypocrite to point out atrocities in other parts of the world, because I had no personal part in the crimes that were committed then, or are committed now.

    I think the point is that it’s governments and large corporations that make money or hold power for creating and enforcing immigration laws. The world has more than enough space and resources to feed and house everyone, but the people in power don’t want to reallocate wealth, do they? Countries and states have been created by the monarch or president at the time, and borders are easily rubbed out or moved for political and economic purposes. Why do we give power to corrupt governments and organisations to determine where we can settle? Open the fucking borders already.

    Do you really think that you have more right to the pursuit of happiness than someone who has had the extreme misfortune to be be born in Uganda?

    And please, to the bottom feeders who want to troll: read the following before you attempt to argue whether open borders are feasible. It’s not only a policy that’s possible, it’s the right thing to do.
    I’m happy to have a healthy debate with anyone who’s so inclined, but not if you’re coming from a place of ignorance.

  27. I hear you, Bacchante. And for the most part, I agree with you. I also am not of the mindset of “This is my land so back off.” Open borders would be great in a perfect world, but we all know this isn’t a perfect world. So we have to deal with whatever issues we have today. Unfortunately, we have leaders that have made the laws, and until we can change our leadership and change those laws, we must abide by them. Simply saying that I don’t agree with the law doesn’t mean I’m not bound by it legally.

    However, my point is this: who the hell is MsAnne to pick and choose who can be targeted as the butt of a joke when she herself is as racist, sexist, and vulgar as they come simply in the name of comedy?

    Ah, who cares? Enough walls of text.

    I’m guessing the girl was speechless because her mouth was full of food.


    you fucking pussy.

  29. ^this

  30. I’m so sorry you were born in _______ (name your fucking country), but the hard work and centuries of development have allowed us to advance to the point of “developed, first-world nation.” So fuck off if you don’t like it. Fuck an open border. Change shit in your own country.

    Don’t talk shit about OUR leaders (well, now you can, but not the ones who developed our country into a nation that others risk life and limb to get into, illegally or not); no, look at your own leaders.

    Africa is all kinds of fucked up because of the tribal bullshit those in power there have inflicted on “their” people. Mexico could be much better off if they had any sort of leadership (read: balls) and didn’t allow a bunch of fucking cartels to run their shit country.

    So funny how people will talk piles of shit on America, AS they’re walking across the border to live here. Fuck you.

    Every piece of land on this forsaken planet has been given, taken or sol at one time or another by ancient people, and even more modern people at one time or another. Get the fuck over it. It’s obviously human nature, and you’re not going to change that. Fucking animals have the same nature about their own territories. And once another animal is strong enough to take that over, well hoopty-fucking-do, there goes your flat, wolfpack!

    “Fuck creationism, Darwin was right!” Well, fine, then also subscribe to survival of the fittest, and realize something: That. Shit. Happens.

    And MsAnne: You MUST abide by at least SOME laws, correct? Otherwise you’d get thrown in jail – and like, who wants that? If you pick and choose the ones you don’t abide by, then fine, more power to you. But any civilized society has laws/rules. Hell, there would even be rules, and a ruling “class” in a fucking anarchy. ‘Cept it wouldn’t be so nice as it is now, as the ruling class would be those with the biggest guns. And you’d get shot (or your family) for not abiding.

    Fuck it all. Give Mexicans free Coke, on Mickey D’s!

  31. I’m having a difficult time deciding which one is more ironic: The ridiculous idea that choosing to be a law abiding citizen instead makes one a “fucking pussy,” or being called a “fucking pussy” by someone that is 10,000 miles away and spends the majority of her waking hours trolling Lamebook.

  32. It’s like someone bukakked this thread with stupid. I’m done. I’m gonna go get me a $1 large sweet tea from McDonald’s when I’m done at work. FUCK THE POLICE!

  33. I don’t really care to join your debate, I just need to point out to Nails that evolution and social darwinism are not the same thing, at all.

  34. ^also, can you point out how historical western empire-building has fucked over most of Africa? Not necessarily just their ‘tribal bullshit’ which I’m guessing, Nails, you have literally not the faintest clue about.

    I’m a higher-reasoning human. Take your guns and might-makes-right horseshit back to the fucking dark ages. we’re trying to advance humanity here, you war-mongering cretins just keep holding us fucking back.

    good people disobey bad laws.
    beatus, you’re still a massive fucking girlie’s handbag.

  35. one more thing, bacchante- what you said is simply far too fucking sensible for these idiots. they’ll never get it.
    fuckwits like beatusmongous are at a level where making pathetic regurgitated jokes over the slight difference in spelling of someone’s given name is an hilarious and witty thing to waste my fucking time reading.

  36. ^Now on that, I must protest. Beatus is, in my opinion, the most consistently funny person here. And, at the end of the day, lamebook is for making funny.

  37. I’m from England and I’m pretty happy with our history :)

  38. good for you for protesting, franky.
    you show strong moral fibre.

  39. Fuck yeah, I’m awesome.

  40. Chortle chortle. Sorry guys, I dumped a whole wall of text and a link to an article, and then skipped off into my weekend. Glad you kept the discussion going though =)

    In response to Nails: “Africa is all kinds of fucked up because of the tribal bullshit those in power there have inflicted on ‘their’ people”, I wasn’t positive if you realised how much Western intervention has totally and unequivocally screwed that continent.

    Unfortunately, the Race for Africa was approached by the participating European nations like it was a fucking swapmeet. No consideration was given to existing tribal groups or unrest before Belgium, France, England, Spain, Portugal and Germany started carving off the bits that suited them.

    “Oh, you want a lake? Well, here, we’ll put a border right through the Niger River there, and you can have that portion whilst I’ll keep the gold mines on the other side. I’d really like some virgin rainforest to complete my collection though; do you have anything you can give me?”

    Hence, the imperialist cunts in charge separated brother tribes with the stroke of a pen, and forced warring nations into the same country.

    Have a look at this: In 1913, the only independent African nations were the ones shaded in white.

    Anyway, so the Europeans in charge systematically impoverish and enslave their subjects according to the borders they’ve created and the natural resources to hand. By enslavement, I mean they send their own white overlords to occupy a country and make the natives work in dangerous jobs for a pittance in pay. Any of the native uprisings result in death and poverty. All the spoils from the mining, hunting, tourism and exports of that country are used to enrich the owner countries, and the African nations become ever poorer.

    When this becomes politically uncomfortable or inconvenient for the white masters, they tuck tail and run… ahem… I mean, they reinstate independence… giving ownership and government back to the African people. But there are minimal assets or natural resources left, and decades of shame and oppression to overcome.

    “Tribal bullshit”, as you call it, is simple survival to them. And no, they’re not doing a great job of it (surviving, I mean). But leaving them to their own devices certainly won’t bring an end to anyone’s suffering. I’m sure it will make you feel better about your country’s superiority though, in attaining the status of “developed, first-world nation.” Hooray for white imperialist capitalism!

  41. everyone who can read left ages ago, man.

  42. MsAnne,

    “I’m a higher-reasoning human. Take your guns and might-makes-right horseshit back to the fucking dark ages. we’re trying to advance humanity here, you war-mongering cretins just keep holding us fucking back.”

    1) The might-makes-right mentality has been, still is, and will be around forever. It’s HUMAN FUCKING NATURE. Good luck changing it with your higher reasoning. Great segue…

    2) You really can’t sell your higher reasoning when you put off some of the other shit you do. For example, your racism, narcissism, quick jumps to violence/threats, etc.

    You can’t pretend to be so high of a thinker, and an incredibly logical and reasoned person on one hand, then resort to the other horseshit on the other hand.
    Or, you can – because you can do whatever the fuck you want, and I respect that. But no one takes you seriously when you say that shit. Not that you care, just wanted to put that out there. So if you’re really hoping for, and trying to enact a revolution of the mind, you should probably consider all those words I just said there. Or you can just say fuck all and be done with it. I personally don’t give a shit.

    I happen to like you though – and you know this – but not for your socially and intelligently superior state of mind; nah, your insults are funny as shit, and you have a quick and clever wit – a redeeming quality in my book.


    Believe it or not, I’m well aware of the history and story that you eloquently stated up there (and well before it was on Wikipedia, too). I, too, have an education above the level of some of the fucking cretins who regularly post on lamebook. But anyway, Old England did that, not America. Or do we lump ALL white people together? Are you seriously telling me Africans (for example) are completely not to blame for any of the situations they’re in? Because America is mostly white (barely anymore), so now England’s colonizations fall on us? On me?
    That’s a fucking fallacy of the highest degree.

    The “tribal bullshit” I was talking about, is NOT an English trait. I know what their penciled borders caused – but that was a long fucking time ago! They could have been well over that by no!. It’s their backwoods culture and way of life – always has been. They’re stuck in the Dark Ages and refuse to come out. No matter how much food, aid, medical supplies and money we send them, the little fucking moneys who hold the ak-47s, commit clitoral circumcision (definitely NOT American) on the women, rape the shit out of any woman in their path, get children to fight for them, and generally hold the entire village (or villageS) hostage, will keep doing so. They steal the money from the people, and it’s always up to the US to come in and help… and then get castigated for it when it goes wrong (or if they do nothing). But it IS a natural way of life for them.

    Maybe MsAnne can go give them a dose of revolutionary higher thinking? Wait, there’d be too many of dem blackies though. Shoot.

    I personally don’t want anything to do with them. But it’s not “Americans” committing the acts of treachery over in Africa, so fuck off with that. And it was never ME to begin with, or may parents, or their parents, or their parents (okay, I can stop there).

    On to obesity/overweight Americans – since as a whole we’re clearly the largest in the world:
    America: ~63% overweight / ~30% obese
    Australia: ~53% overweight / ~10% obese

    Guess what though? I’m not fat! Fuck ‘em all! Get fat and die, and see if I give two shits or a flying fuck.

    Both are rising. You’re not far off now. You’re ranked 3rd in the Anglosphere for obesity rates (behind the US and NZ).

    BTW, good show and I love talking to you! Cheers!

  43. * no! = now
    * may = my
    * 10% = 20%

    Fuck, I wish it was still the weekend.

  44. I hope you Australians can stop the high fructose corn syrup before it becomes too engrained into your lives. It’s everywhere here, it’s extremely fattening, somewhat poisonous, and addictive. I’m glad I’ve been able to get it out of my life and out of the lives of my family, but it was difficult. Learn from us, and boycott the stuff if you can. Hopefully, you already have.

  45. yeah. because ausfailure isn’t stupid and greedy like amerikkka.

  46. ‘human nature’ is a fucking CONSTRUCT, nails.
    There is NO SUCH THING as ‘human nature’. There is nothing natural about humans.
    We are NOT helpless products of our biological urges and external influences. We have (well, I have. not too sure about most of the peeps here) free will and a reasoning brain that seems to be quite unprecedented in Gaia’s history. So I damn well mean to use it.

    Africa should ‘be over it by now’ should they? because most europeans had pulled out by (at the latest) the 1970s, africa should have shaken that shit off by now, eh? EXCEPT that the europeans only pulled out investment in infrastructure. They’re still there – raping all the resources and fucking over the tribes. It’s just called ‘business’ these days.

  47. Aww, Nails, how do you guys do that? Make everything about America, I mean. I didn’t say anything about the U.S. being responsible for English colonisations.

    Re: your redefinition of “tribal bullshit” and your advice, could you explain to me how these poor African nations are to succeed in “getting over” what was enforced on their people, now that they have been totally impoverished? And it really wasn’t a long time ago. Most countries across Africa were only given independence in the 1960s or 70s. In economic terms, that is a relatively short time, particularly as they have no natural resources left, or infrastructure of any merit.

    Foreign aid and military intervention are Band-Aid solutions, because long-term projects designed to empower communities are not undertaken. All you get is temporary relief from starvation in the form of handouts and sometimes warfare will cease for a while… heh, the Western World’s “peacekeeping” is the funniest misnomer ever though… And they (the U.S., the U.K., Australia, even the United Nations and World Vision for fuck’s sake) perpetuate the cycle of poverty and reliance on Big Brother by keeping a hand on the purse-strings and demanding gratitude for measly morsels and scraps. Hey, maybe it’s just a continuation of the White Man’s Burden! I mean, you train a dog by giving it piecemeal treats, right?

    As for clitoral circumcision, rape and the use of children in guerrilla / religious warfare, of course the individuals responsible (or entire cultures that promote the continuation of barbaric acts) are not blameless. But if you remember my initial argument in comment # 26, I think you’ll find that I’m a proponent of opening borders, so that those people who wish to settle in regions with greater opportunities than those locally, have the right and the freedom to do so. Nigeria wouldn’t be a tenth as corrupt as it actually is, if people were able to leave that shithole of a country.

    MY open border policy would allow people to enter Australia (for example) at affordable prices on actual airplanes. Goodbye boatpeople and the boat captains that the trade keeps employed. Once processed, that migrant owes 2-3 years of their life to Australia. The government decides where people are most needed, and depending on the immigrant’s skills, language and family circumstances, places them in a job and a location where they can be of use (for example, in regional Australia where farming has declined significantly as people move to urban centres permanently), gain additional language and job skills, and assimilate into society in a more natural and organic way.

    Look, it’s not a perfect plan (particularly as it relies on the government to decide where people should be placed), but anyone who’s interested in escaping their country should have the right to choose if a country’s immigration guidelines are acceptable to them. Currently, Australia has mandatory detention for asylum seekers, and this often extends to children. If that’s not inhumane for a supposedly “civilised” country, then someone needs to reassess the definition of the word.

    If you’re keen to know how I feel about my own country and its inherent racism and elitism, youtube a song called “77%” by The Herd. Some of the references won’t make a whole lot of sense, but you’ll get the general gist. Any patriotism I once felt has long been killed by my fellow Australians.

    Wake up – this country needs a fucking shake up
    Wake up – these cunts need a shake up

    P.S. I just refreshed the page and was going to take out the bit that MsAnne covered off on in her 2nd paragraph, butt fuck it. You can read it again =)

  48. Oh, and beatus, I think we’re pretty safe from the evils of corn syrup. Too much is already invested in cane sugar / sucrose here. CSR have a couple of politicians in their pockets too, so I don’t see a whole lot changing in the foreseeable future.

  49. ^ This is good news.

  50. no it isn’t. over-processed white cane sugar is terrible for you. aussie kids are in constant danger of the media telling them that they’re embarrassing fat little fucks.

  51. ^ It’s the lesser of two evils, honestly. Of course, any simple carbs are terrible for you. Fruit and unprocessed local honey is best, but should still be limited. Sugar is to corn syrup as tobacco is to heroin.

  52. The local unprocessed honey is great; can even cure/prevent/lessen allergies.

    I like beer, myself… you know, as a sweetener.

  53. However warped it is – or rather, it becomes – human nature is NOT a construct. Basic human needs dictate basically everything we do (see Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs).
    After physiological needs (food, water and shelter for basic survival – because we ALL are built to survive by any means necessary – even if that gets warped into “I need to build my empire bigger so that I can survive and my people can survive and defend ourselves against enemies.”), comes security – Safety & Security.

    How we interpret it as individuals varies vastly. I might just think it’s having steady employment, health insurance, a safe neighborhood and shelter from the environment (and a pistol for anyone whoever tries to break into my home and hurt me or my family). Someone else might think otherwise, or more or less. But it still exists.

    That spills over into what we do, and how we act. Also, the higher level needs are sought to be fulfilled as each level below it is fulfilled. Most people never make it to the Self-Actualization level.

    Regardless, humans are imperfect, and therefore subject to fail… and fail in different ways.

    Bacchante – Without getting too far into that now, you immigration – sorry, “open borders” – plan sounds great! It sounds exactly like LEGAL immigration here. Probably much to your chagrin, we have a policy here that you can serve in the military for x number of years (2-4?) and become a citizen. Also, all the other methods that are legal.
    I’m still NOT okay with illegal immigration. That literally cuts into the safety & survivability of me and my family – and I just can’t have that.

    Catchy tune by the way. I get it. :-)

  54. the security offered by your ‘safety and survivability’ is only an illusion and a pretty crappy excuse for your institutionalized xenophobia.

  55. It’s not irrational – my argument for sovereignty – hardly xenophobia. And neither is my desire and need to keep my family safe. That’s just ridiculous. Spawn you some of your own and see how you feel about keeping them safe, and being able to feed them.

  56. sure. why the fuck not?
    there’s only 7 BILLION humans on this rapidly depleting planet already. and I’m greedy and selfish, so why not?
    I’ll take my white privilege and make sure that I have a passel of fat, blonde kids so that some kids in china and africa can slave away and make consumer products for them. THAT sounds pretty fucking smart.
    and it’s what everyone else is doing, so it must be right.

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