Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Check Under the Hood


previous post: Murphail



  1. Oh, for fuck’s sake.

  2. Lame, why?

  3. right, im pregnant, but there will be NO pictures of me on facebook mid-labour!!!!

  4. There is nothing about the birthing process, other than the baby at the end of it, that should ever be photographed. I’ve got two kids, and I was there for every minute of labor and birth for each one. At no point did I think, “I’d love to get a picture of this,” and at no point could I have whipped out a camera without my wife tearing my nutsack off.

  5. “Yep. There’s a baby in there somewhere.”

  6. It’s not really that lame…hell, I’ve seen worse on the pregnancy shows on TV.
    You can’t see any ‘naughty bits’. Though, I’d be a bit uncomfortable with someone taking my picture. Already warned my hubby he’s not allowed a camera until after Luna’s out AND I’m cleaned up a bit.

  7. Looks like the blue toenail polish slipped a bit.

  8. The only thing lame is the asshat who submitted this boooo for posting it, lamebook

  9. @GoddessDigi, what a beautiful name, Luna! I just found out we are expecting our second and I have been having so much fun looking for names! Congrats!

  10. Thanks Poooter. :)
    Girl or boy?
    Next girl is gonna be Lissette, a boy will be Asher, lol.

  11. @Sensible Madness: Totally agree! The pictures of me after I had the kids were horrifying. In one I looked like a monkey. Not flattering at all. So if I looked that destroyed after I had them imagine what was going on during. My husband was too busy keeping a safe distance to snap pictures anyhow. Congrats to all the expecting Moms. And GoddessDigis that is lovely name. Unusual but not crazy. :) I have a friend that named her baby girl Konstantine and my sister in law has a Theoden and a Azaral in her brood.

  12. Lissette? That’s like a bad nickname for Elizabeth. Sounds like a breed of lizard.

  13. This is quite the odd, TMI picture.

    Luna, Lissette, and Asher are awesome names ;)

  14. ^ LOL

  15. …why would someone even put that here?

  16. Next time something like this is posted can we make sure she’s at least hot? Thanks so much.

  17. GoddessDigi I don’t know yet, I’m only 7 weeks tomorrow. We have our fingers crossed for a girl, but either would be fine with me! Our first son is Jude. Lovely names you have picked out, very original! When are you due with Luna? I’m due August 17th. Jude is a Halloween baby:)

  18. There is nothing pretty or dignified about the birthing process…..

  19. This is one of those things that makes me feel embarrassed on behalf of the people in the photo. And I don’t mean that in a smarty-pants way; I mean I actually feel the shame vicariously when I look at it.

  20. Lissette is a French name, not even close to Elizabeth.
    I’m 29 weeks as of yesterday, but she’s measuring 2 weeks big, and my first was a preemie, so I’m not banking on her making it to March. Fine by me, having so many Braxton Hicks tonight, I feel ready already, lol.
    It’s not dignified, or pretty, but it is beautiful. Giving life to a little baby that you carried inside you for 9 months. It’s something special. I can understand wanting to take pics (even if I don’t want any of myself) just..I wouldn’t ever show anyone, that’s for sure.

  21. i was convinced for ages it was a girl and now im having a baby boy!!

    good luck GoddessDigi!! xxx

  22. @pusiu: No its not. Not at all. I love my kids but Im glad to be done at two. I would love a third baby but I dont think physically, mentally or emotionally I have it in me.

  23. I like the fact that it’s picture number 69.

  24. More idiotic parents on Facebook I see. Wonderful. As if parents posting their kid’s purple mouths from thrush and baby’s poop wasn’t bad enough.

  25. People with kids are the bane of Facebook. Kid photos, ultrasound photos, TMI about their stupid pregnancy. Women’s brains turn to mush when they get knocked up, and Facebook helps prove it. These 2 are degenerates but they’ve got tons of company.

  26. what the hell

  27. The only thing lame about that pic is that she is laboring in a hospital, on her back, hooked up to monitors. The WORST possible way to give birth.

  28. Ahhh..another God smacking. Will they never learn.

  29. I think pregnancy and birth is beautiful – BUT NOT TO SHARE! I love the way the guy is trying to peep at her vajayjay – Smooth dude, real smooth.

    What did my mother tell me? “Goes in like a banana, comes out like a pineapple…” I’ve yet to learn. *Whimpering in corner*

  30. angrydad FTW.

    I have blocked so many people’s status updates because I could care less that their kids barfed/pooped/peed/etc. every day; or my favorite, the endless whining because they have it so rough as a parent. Somehow they forgot that it was their free will that made them (in most cases unfortunately) spawn.

  31. Facebook is a place to connect with others, and let them know about what’s happening in their lives.
    I’d much rather see some status about one of my friend’s babies, instead of the, “Went to the mall today.” or one of the other common, every day occurrence updates I see.

  32. lol @ O.
    Lilac: I definitely agree.

  33. @angrydad Your name is so fitting!

    Now… let me go find a picture of my little guy to link to…

  34. Is that guy in black really the medical professional?

  35. If I were that woman, I’d chop my husband’s head off and play basketball with it. For hours.

  36. Why is everyone mad at the father, when clearly this has been uploaded by the mother?

  37. actually, goddessdigi, some of us would still prefer the mall comments over the “tommy shit on himself, ain’t that cute” ones.

    yes, you’re absolutely right, fb is a great way to network and share the moments of your life with those close to you. there are just two anomalies connected to the mothers that continually amaze me. one: it’s not really your life anymore, it’s your kid’s, and two: the people who are close to you are mainly neglected by you because of your kids.

    sad. so sad.

  38. Iunno. I like baby photos.

  39. Hey, At least it isn’t a frontal shot.

    Or is that UNfortunately…

  40. I think FB is great for keeping friends and family in contact with each other also, but there is a limit. For sure, show off your belly bump but NOT every fucking mm it grows. Sure, take photo’s in the hospital, but NOT of your vag splitting open/agonising pain/crowning/placenta. Sure, show everyone how cute your kid is, but NOT when he/she/it has just shat/peed/smeared poo. I love kids, don’t get me wrong, but there is a reason that few people are allowed into the birthing room, It’s so your friends and relatives don’t have to think of a reason why they aren’t going in there!

  41. There’s nothing preventing you from blocking said comments of said parents. The only status updates I see are those of my friends. They are people I accepted friend requests from and vice versa. I’m a parent as well. No, I’m not updating every nuance of my son’s life but I don’t care if others do. What’s the big deal really?!

    Now, when you start posting pictures of you before, during, and/or immediately following labour is when it becomes a little lame. Just a little.

  42. kaoss , you just made me realize that there are bound to be frontal shots of birth on facebook.

    We just have to wait untill someone submits it , scratch that , we just have to be afraid that one day someone will submit it.

  43. Hmmm…. it’ll have to go under the NSFAHTES rather than NSFW topic.

    *not safe for any human to ever see.

  44. i would be tempted to have a look with that category name , tempted but horrified afterwards.


    I, being the thoughtful/inquisitive person I am, googled ‘crowning facebook’ just to see what came up, and I wasn’t horrified by TMI photos as I wasn’t doing an image search, but I think I just stumbled across one of the most odd inspiration for earring designs.


    That moment of crowning is captured in these classic silver earrings by Russell Wray. A beautiful way to proclaim your calling! Makes a thoughtful gift for a new midwife.
    3/4 inch

    Yes, nothing like a nice set of earrings encapsulates the moment of a woman’s privates split open forcefully.
    Why on earth would someone wear it as earrings.

    Looks more like a weird vagina actually.

  46. A weird vagina as opposed to one with a babies head, that is.

  47. Is Treyton the baby’s name, then? What an utterly fugly name. “Well,” says Mom, “I know I have a perfectly good, timeless, Biblical name, so I think I’ll call my kid – once I get, er, someone to snap a photo of the birthing process mid-push while the no-neck brush-cut perv baby daddy checks out my lady parts – TREYTON.” Anything reminiscent of a town named after something you might find in mall food court is going to be an awesome name.

    I guess the good news is that once upon a time (say, a decade ago), only black people made up such godawful baby names. At the time, white trash were still stuck on the stripper/trucker names (Courtney, Britney, Rusty, etc.). So now we don’t have to hear stupid racists making fun of black kids’ names – everyone is capable of a monstrosity like Treyton. This is … progress?

  48. @ Kaoss… I clicked the link, and if you DIDN’T know what it was they would actually be gorgeous… :)

  49. I don’t know svetlana, they do resemble a vag quite well… Nothing wrong with displaying a bit of pink, er, silver…

  50. @ KAOSS, I think almost every mum in this whole wide world owns at least one pair that looks quite similar to those. Thanks for ruining my pure mind. ;)

  51. MWahaha

    I am good at ruining people innocence.

  52. I like turtles.

  53. The birthing pool series wasn’t enough?

  54. @KAOSS: It looks like that “baby” is coming bum first. It also makes me thank god that my second ended in a cesarean and I avoided that.

  55. My brother was born ass first. Not by c-section either. Yeouch. No thanks.

    Wonder why no one has posted C-section photos… hmm


    “dear God!!!”

    Ohhh, THAT’S why…

  56. KAOSS: LOL! I was soo happy when they said I could have a section. She was a 9+ pounder! It wouldn’t have happened any other way. I salute your mom though. She’s a far tougher woman then I. I would guilt trip my kids if they pulled a stunt like that on me. :)

  57. @KAOSS I have some great pics of my son being born breech by c-section. Though you won’t find them on my facebook…

  58. OMFG. WTF? As a mother of three I speak from experience.

    Birth and motherhood are beautiful things – for the mother and child. For everyone else, including most fathers, its a gross, sweaty, painful, bloody, fluidy, mess oh nastiness that does NOT need to be posted for all the world to trip over on your FB page. UGHH

    The ultimate overshare.

  59. @yaya: Totally agree. My poor husband and Mom. I wouldnt want to see anyone go through what I did to bring the kids into this world. But I appreciate them for it and for keeping the teasing afterwards to a minimum. This pic is tame but I can only imagine what the rest of the album looks like. (shudders)

  60. @Me agreed, my poor hubby was totally traumatized by the whole process, lol but I took secret pleasure in his discomfort.

    Never understood those people who insist on having brothers, sisters, dad, gramma & grandad, the butcher, the mailman, etc. in the delivery room. It’s bad enough to have every intern in the hospital coming in and out to inspect your nether regions let alone invite the whole damn neighborhood!

  61. @yaya I had my Mom there too bc my husband as much as I love him is useless sometimes. I had a friend that wanted her brother in there too. (shudders) I had my kids at a teaching hospital and it was like being a test subject for all the interns. It was like get the hell out of here and find someone elses bits to practice on! And when I had complications with my son a billion people trooped in the room. I no longer am embarassed by anything though.

  62. Should have thought of that before going to a teaching hospital then.

  63. @chiiro: Yeah in retrospect you’re right. But in the city I live in the best hospital was the teaching one. Im all for learning and helping out. But when you are in severe pain and you have to wait while the new guy learns something, before you get your epidural. It can make a person mad. He’s lucky I didnt kick him in the head.

  64. TMI! Thankfully you can’t see mom’s clam w/baby heading out but still… If you have to take those pictures, keep them to yourself. It’s a private if not family moment.

  65. If you go to the STFU parents website, there is a facebook picture of a woman in labor, butt-naked, and the baby is crowning. They put smiley faces over everything so you couldn’t see it, but yeah, gross. I have a 2 1/2 year old, and one due in April, and I would never put a picture like this up there.

  66. Why do people think that everyone wants to see them giving birth?! If I wanted to, I’d just have a kid of my own… shweet jeezuz!

  67. @KAOSS #45
    Compared to some of the stuff on this page, your ‘crowning’ earrings are actually quite tasteful: http://www.etsy.com/shop/VulvaLoveLovely

    My personal favourite is the Vagina Dentata Necklace . . .

  68. @Thesaurapist 13F: Did you see this: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33847852

    Im also little surprised the vagina wallet/pouch wasn’t more vagina-ish. I guess digging for you keys/a tampon in a giant vagina would be a little weird.

    That sculptured vagina looks like it’s ready to kill. It has teeth? Yeah, way to make vagina’s more friendly and lovable.

    I once ate at an Italian restaurant and I had Tortellini and every single piece looked like a vagine. Argh. My brother laughed as I was talking to him while I had a piece of pasta on my fork, he made me look and I was shocked. It was like the chef had made them like that on purpose!
    If eating vagina pasta wasn’t bad enough, try eating it with a bolognese sauce. Could have been worse though, could have had it with a cream sauce. I wouldn’t have been able to eat it though.

  70. Christ on a cracker

    Why do people think is okay to take a picture of a woman in labor?! If it was me, I’d go for their jugular with my teeth and a rusty knife.

  71. beautifuldisasterxo

    why the hell would someone send this in?? im 8 months pregnant and there will be no pictures taken of me while in labour and if someone tried i would throw that camera across the room.

  72. Is that pixalation or a black eye?

  73. really don’t see why this is on here or why anyone is getting their panties in a bunch about it. the only thing that gets me is how the poor woman is in a hospital on her back hooked up to all sorts of machines- so not how a normal, comfortable birth should go. and seriously, anyone who is happy to end up with a c-section for anything other than a TRUE medical emergency has got something wrong in their head. do you realize that is MAJOR abdominal surgery?! There is so much risk involved it’s not even funny. Too bad this country has been fooled into believing that it’s normal and perfectly healthy. idiots…

  74. @msfeather: do you actually know what you’re talking about, or are you just some propaganda fed angst ridden teen? Do you have any idea how much risk is involved in regular child birth? I actually worked in OB, so I actually know the danger of both….

    You should stop worrying about the women getting C-sections (because it’s usually not a choice– women have a LOT of problems related to birthing) and start concerning yourself with how dangerous DRIVING is… or eating JUNK FOOD…..

  75. Right, that’s why our country’s rates of both maternal and infant mortality are higher than any other industrialized nation while all over other industrialized countries anything except an emergency birth is left at home with midwives who know what they’re doing? wake up, it’s just doctors and hospitals who want your thousands of dollars for a big expensive birth that ends up “needing” intervention b/c the doc doesn’t want to wait for things to progress the way your body naturally knows how to do. i’m guessing you’re also a fan of formula feeding too. no wonder this country is in debt up to its ears

  76. twilightm81, what are you doing online? You should be in the kitchen, making your man a sammich while reading Twilight. Get to it, woman.

  77. We don’t pay anything here to have a baby in Canada, and that’s the way it should be. Most of the time c-sections happen because either the mom or baby’s life is endangered, or because they can’t be born the natural way. A friend had to get a c-section because her pelvic canal (?) was too narrow to deliver her twins, so there was no way around it. I’d rather go to a hospital to give birth than risk complicating my or my baby’s life or health. Don’t generalize so much.

  78. @ YourDumb. Not to get into a health care debate (US vs. Canada vs. Europe etc.), but I could not resist pointing out that you do INDEED pay to have a baby. You ALL pay for ALL medical care (you just perhaps don’t write a check to the hospital). I don’t know how the tax system is structured in Canada, but even if it’s such that some don’t pay taxes they STILL pay “something”, since whatever government resources are directed towards medical care are unavailable for other services.

    Again, not debating one system vs. another… just don’t fall into the (easy) illusion that your health care is “free”.

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