Thursday, September 24, 2009

Case Closed

Case Closed

previous post: Stay Positive

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69 Comments

  1. And a gaggle of lesbians get their wings…

  2. Anytime anyone calls anyone else ignorant, I just think of Mr. Jefferson on South Park

  3. Wow, so just because they had problems with a few guys, that means they choose to generalize all guys as assholes. Unbelievable. If that’s how they feel, then they’d be better off giving up at this point and just going lesbian.

  4. Meh, it’s the age old problem…

    Guys and girls- they love to hate each other.

    I see Spike is really fighting our corner though. He should be proud of himself!

  5. So all boys are assholes and they want to ‘get shitty’? Urgh.

    Next time one of them gets chatted up, you can bet your ass they’ll be fluttering their eyelashes and dropping their pants. Then posting status updates about how in love they are for the next 2 weeks, then posting status updates about how stupid and mean boys are when they dumped/cheated on AGAIN.

  6. My wang is bigger than yours! 8=======================D

  7. I’m with Dan. Dan the man!

  8. poor Dan, sounds like he is the only intelligent person on FB :(

  9. This is like when slutty girls post status updates along the lines of: so and so ‘just wants a hug’ or the likes. Well, maybe you should’ve thought of that before you were such a slutty mcslutalot, and then a guy would want to hang around for 5 minutes after having sexual intercourse with you!

  10. Anyone else noticed that when Dan says the word “ignorant” Alina, in the her next post, compared to the first one, completaly changes the punctuation/structure? Almost as she was trying to pass off as smart… dumb people try to hard to look intelligent.

  11. I cease to see the funny in this.

  12. Why are all girls such ignorant complainers?

  13. Lol, women.

  14. No Mike, you -fail- to express yourself properly.

  15. Keep talking like that, Talia, and all the men you ever meet will be the arseholes you expect them to be and you’ll grow into a bitter, lonely old woman.

    Men rock!!!!!!!

  16. Excellent textual criticism, Pedro.

    One must wonder, though, what case it is that Dan thinks he’s rested. His initial point was that Talia’s bad experiences with boys were the result of a poor sample set: better boys would, by hypothesis, produce better results. Alina, however, suggests that all boys appear to believe themselves to be able to avoid the problems that accompany the “bad apples,” but uniformly fail to do so. At this point Spike enters the conversation, attributing the other boys’ failures to their collective envy of his large phallus.

    It is here that Dan claims his case to be closed. But what does he mean? If we take the argument at face value, the answer appears to be that Talia’s problems arise from hanging out with small-penised men. The solution, then, would be to seek out men with penises equal or larger in size when compared to Spike’s.

    At this point, though, the question of motive becomes relevant. Why would Dan encourage Talia to seek out men with penises equal to or larger than Spike’s? This would only make sense if Dan knew that his own penis in fact fit this description, which would only be possible if he had an intimate familiarity with Spike’s penis.

    Interesting…

  17. Upon further analysis, it has become clear that my earlier observations were woefully inadequate. Given that Dan appears to be trying to defend male-female relationships, it is perhaps less than likely that his familiarity with Spike’s penis is particularly comprehensive. But here we must notice that Spike was not attributing male failure simply to having a small penis, but rather to having a small penis and being ENVIOUS of his own larger penis. If Dan does not know how large Spike’s penis actually is, then he could not know that he does not have a smaller penis than Spike. But what he COULD know is that he is not envious of Spike’s penis, no matter how large it may be.

    So, then, we can reach the completely satisfying conclusion that Dan has a small penis, but is not in the least bit ashamed about it and therefore believes himself to be capable of success with women.

    The end.

  18. :lol: at Danny. Excellent analysis and conclusive proof that these comments are the best part of this site.

  19. i just had almost that exact same post on mine lol

  20. I love it when women get hurt by a guy and then all of a sudden, all guys are assholes.

  21. I like how all men are assholes, yet women fail to admit that they are spoiled, self-centered, arrogant bitches. Most of which want guys to spend their money on them, or give them credit cards to max out shopping.

    I’m not too female to admit it.

    Then again, I hate shopping.

  22. What about Michael Jackson? He was a guy.

  23. @Danny

    he wasn’t talking to spike, ignore that post and it makes perfect sense.


    Most guys are assholes, but most girls are bitches. Sexism is wrong and we should hate everyone equally.

  24. Everyone’s so incensed about the girls’ generalizations (“How dare they say that?! Women are such bitches!”) but people are all laughs and high-fives when some d-bag says “women are cunts hur hur hur!” The comments section here is getting more and more misogynist.

  25. Lol, feminism.

  26. Dan is resting his case, because his case was “your male friends are morons. you hang out with the wrong guys.” and Spike’s comment proved that she is friends with male morons.

  27. Wow…it’s actually the other way around. Most girls (like these three future lesbos here) are bitches, because they always complain about guys being complete assholes, but do you think they would ever give the time of day to the guys who would actually be nice to them as opposed to being the same douchebags they always fall for? No, because they don’t look like bodybuilders or models or star athletes…If girls are going to complain about guys being douches when they only choose to interact with douches, I have no sympathy for them, I just laugh and think to myself “that’s what you get :)

  28. #24 Beag – Totally right.

    Women make generalizations, yes. But how many times have you heard men say that women are crazy, bitches, etc.? We’re all guilty of it. Not JUST women, not JUST men.

    I think the thing that made this post golden was Dan. Timing is everything, lol.

  29. I’d totally bang Talia and never call her.

  30. Kinga’s got it.

  31. I don’t think Dan is the kind of guy to rest his or anyone else’s case from the evidence above. After making the initial point that “they’re hanging around with the wrong guys” Lori agrees that this is a good point. Lesser men would leave it there but not our Dan. No, for Dan-the-man good just isn’t good enough. What a great man.
    As for the argument that the girls are hanging around with assholes, Dan, thanks to you I feel justified to say…case closed.

  32. I don’t know.
    I kind of think those ladies must be pretty damn fond of assholes, considering how much they look forward to getting “shitty”

    Just saying.

  33. Why are all guys assholes? We don’t trust you since Eve was in cahoots with that snake. Seriously, America has apologised to the Indians, Australia has apologised to the Aboriginies, Germany has apologised to the Jews and etc. When are you bitches going to apologise for getting our asses thrown out of Eden?

  34. Hey Talia, how about u seeing my dick.

  35. @ #10 pedro and #16 danny

    there is no textual difference between alina’s two comments, other than the fact that she uses an exclamation point twice to signal the end of a sentence in her second comment. she uses a various punctuations to make emoticons in both comments, and she extends words in both comments for emphasis, i.e.: wereee and beeen (both of which use extra e’s). aslo, she curses with the word shit in both comments.

    i personally do not see any difference in the two comments that would merit praise and admiration of “textual criticism” by danny towards pedro’s unneeded observation.

  36. Yeh, Enjay. Other than pedro’s comment, everything else here is “needed”.

    Fucktard.

  37. Talia, let me tell you why, you think all guys are ass hols! The trough is… its your fault (the girls) See Talia, Not all guys are trying to get into your pants, for some it a plus, Some actually care for you (dont ask me why) You know that guy who actually try’s talking to you about things you like, your interest. In cease you don’t, those are the guys you think are lame, crazy, not your type etc. In fact you don’t know a thing about them. b.c they are all wrapped around your finger. Your little attention bubble is all filled up (they like you for who you are you are turned off by them b.c you dont have to work to get it, this is why your date guys who treat you like shit). After you blow off that guy for a weeks, may be longer depending on him, he gives up and moves on, heart broken, NEXT! After about a month, you finally notice you don’t get any calls text etc. So you start calling and texting him… Thinking you can get him back into your little attention bubble. He inngnors you, might give you a very blunt answer from time to time, and that make you insane. Next thing you know your crazy about him, hes in your head 24/7, you cant stop thinking about him. (Now that you have to work for the attention your attracted to him) Finaly, Finaly he agrees to meet up, You have some drinks, talk, go back to his place, your place what ever, and you hookup with him. Then you wait.. NO call NO messages from him. WHY, b.c once a heart has been broken we move on, and get over it. IT.. being YOU. Then you tell all your little girl friends how he lead you on, and how he used you!
    Welcome to the GAME so stop playing, Your the only one loosing! k-tks-bye

    Summary….
    GUYS… Ass Holes get girls. Nice guys dont.
    Girls.. Stop playing Games if you dont want to get heart.

    Note……
    GIRLS.. if your immature and DON’T play the game, this DOESN’T apply to you.
    IF… you think ALL guys are ass holes, your immature.

  38. lol at brandi. it’s “cute” when girls like to talk shit about other women in order to make boys like them.

  39. and lol at eric, the bitter Nice Guy TM (who is actually anything but.)

  40. chris, damn dude. lern 2 type. or spell. something.

  41. These girls aren’t apart of Future Lesbians of America, they’re just apart of the vicious cycle of fuck at first sight. They’ll get shitty, find some assholes to play with, that look for someone like Dan with a dick as big as Spikes

  42. order in the court!

  43. “2″ is written as two, now aren’t you intelligent.

  44. “get shitty”? Is that what lesbians are into nowadays?

  45. @Chris

    I just lost the game.

  46. People are assholes.

  47. LMFAO @ K
    I think it’s “cute” when people assume I care what people think.

  48. I bet when these girls get “shitty”, at least one of them ends up hooking up with some guy that she meets at the bar.

  49. @Boz

    I lost too…

  50. Eric, you’re a “Nice Guy.” Women can smell the misogyny a mile away, which is why they won’t give you the time of day.

  51. Funny how all the women you come in contact with are “bitches,” but it couldn’t possibly be that you overlook the normal chicks in your midst (the same thing you accuse women of doing) because they don’t look like models. If you’re shallow, expect to get shallowness in return. In the meantime, try not to shoot up any gyms.

  52. Sweeping generalizations are a patented sign of someone’s pain, or ignorance. In this case, I’d say a bit of both.

    As long as these chicks feel that all men are assholes, it’s likely that those will be the only men they find. They are dooming themselves to failure.

    And the lesbian comments are funny, but you guys must not know lesbians. They cheat on each other too. We are united in our pain :)

  53. @Kinga – you are precisely correct. That’s exactly what I was trying to get across.

  54. All men are assholes. All women are bitches.

    These kinds of mentality are unproductive. Literally, unproductive.

  55. The message our sophisticated Dan is subtly giving away is this:

    “You reap what you sow. But stupid people, like you, will never understand this, so you are doomed to live a life as a white trash bitch”

  56. I like how Spike just adds to their point by talking about his stupid “Wang”…

  57. LESBO CONVENTION!!!

  58. well sd “alex (number 3)” n “claire (number 5)”.
    not all guys r assholes. ok, sum r dikheads but only a few. thts jst steriotyping all guys coz those sluts hav choosen bad dates b4 coz thy were in such a rush 2 get their pants off thy didnt hav tym 2 choose a gud date.
    n “spike”, jst lol. at least he trys …

  59. A bunch of stupid girls that don’t know anything about men and judge the others by the handful they do know.

  60. @ Chris

    No, in that context it would be spelled “to”.

  61. Maybe if Talia and Alina didn’t get shit-faced every Friday night and kept what little wits they have about them they wouldn’t always wake up with they panties hanging from the ceiling fan of some random asshole.

  62. My 5 housemates are all girls and we’re always having this argument, as recently as last night in fact. I always end up taking the position that Dan takes here, girls often think all guys are dicks because:

    1) They have poor tast in men. Some guys are dicks just as some women are crazy. If you always go for the ones that turn out to be dicks then that’s gonna warp your world view a bit.

    2) They sometimes do things that provoke a dickish response because they don’t realise that guys are fundamentally different to them. Now this is a long list but for example, while a girl might read from your body language that you are mad at her and know why, many times a guy just won’t pick up on it unless you say something.

  63. yeah, all guys are dicks, true, all women are definitely bitches as well, and my wnag is WAY BIGGER than Spike’s

  64. yeah, all guys are dicks, true, all women are definitely bitches as well, and my wang is WAY BIGGER than Spike’s

  65. Did you actually take time out of your day to write that vanilla? what a fucking loser.

  66. Stupid girls

  67. thatswhat.shesaid

    I heart Beag.
    At least someone knows what the fuck they’re talking about.
    Get with it dumbasses. As soon as a girl hurts you, you’re talking shit about “bitches, and sluts” …get the fuck over it. you do the same shit. please do not portray yourself as superior, when clearly, you are not.

  68. FEMINISM FTW.

    I heart Beag, too.

    Fuck all you Nice Guys.

  69. Beag and thatswhat.shesaid are totally right.

    Sadly the reality in my experience is that most guys are dicks, but so are most women. Just have to find someone sweet and stick with them.

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