You know, I’ve posted some things on various sites while drunk that I shouldn’t have posted. There have been times when I’ve gone back the next morning and wished I could delete it. Lo and behold, Facebook has this awesome feature where you can actually delete status updates, comments, and other such things.
Using this handy delete feature seems much more prudent than replying to your own drunken idiocy, thereby drawing even more attention to it than it probably got when you posted it originally at 3:34 AM, when most normal people are asleep or at least not on Facebook.
I’m going to guess, though, that Connor is still at that stupid, stupid age where “I got wasted last night” is the absolute coolest thing you can possibly say now that the Internet has given every 12 year old access to the freakiest porn imaginable, and thus possession of porn is no longer interesting or cool. Getting enough alcohol to get “pretty wasted”, on the other hand, requires not only enough money for the alcohol, but also $20 and a strong stomach to pay off the smelly homeless guy hanging outside the liquor store so he’ll go in and buy it for you.
Someday, when Connor gets older and his liver leaps from his abdomen in an attempt to throttle his brain and end the agony, he’ll look back on these heady days of his youth with some measure of regret, not only for the irreparable damage his binge drinking has done to his body, but also for the countless hand jobs he had to give Hobo Joe out by the dumpsters behind the liquor store after Joe decided $20 just wasn’t enough for those weekly cases of Schlitz.
Miss Shegas, it might sound disturbing, but it really isn’t. Medically, it’s a procedure whereby a Urologist will insert what are known as urinary sounds (metal implements) of increasing thickness into the urethra – the aim being to relieve stricture.
heeeey, hannah here. (: yeah i know, I share a lot of information that’s not needed… but, c’mon people I mean REALLY. it’s an honor to make the top 5. Unfortunately I can’t take full credit for this post… my boyfriend is hurt (bum ankle) and therefore, responsible for this post. Too bad for all y’all this is complete fiction! =P