Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Can’t Handle the Demetri

previous post: Danny’s Injured Pride



  1. does this ever work?

  2. Demetri you fox ! Rawr…

  3. oh wait, with great “difficutly” right?

  4. If “Ashkan” is that chick’s real name, and she decided to murder her parents, no one would ever convict her. Seriously, what the fuck?

  5. Butterz?

  6. They couldn’t decide between “ashtray” and “trashcan”. It was a tough call. What’s a parent to do?

  7. Reminds me of:

  8. My favorite part is when he spells difficulty right, and then “corrects” it. Genius.

  9. For some reason, I read Demetri’s comments in Fez’s voice….pretty soon he’s going to say, “I said GOOD DAY!”

  10. @blablah


  11. @xsharpies: You’re dumb. He corrected it because it should read “difficultly,” not “difficulty.”

    He just happened to make another typo

  12. Also, I love that hypocrite Francesca who went from “do you know someone called demetri? because he just added me. and you’re ouw only friend in common” to rejecting him based on his lack of “grammatical prowess” Oh puh-lease! Call him a worthless fucknut or something, but don’t insult his grammar (which I found nothing wrong with? Did I miss something?) when you showed a decidedly lack of “prowess” in your very first comment…

  13. If I found this Demetri guy I think I’d start a fake account and cyber with him over FB message. Then when I eventually became bored end it with “LAWL, IM A DUDE”.

  14. @serfis

    It’s not a typo if the guy is an idiot and doesn’t know how to spell something and is just throwing different spellings up there, hoping one looks right.

    But you’re right with the rest of your comment.

    I said GOOD DAY!

  15. oh yeah and i’m 99% sure difficultly isnt a word

  16. ‘difficultly captured breasts’?

    Fucking hell. That’s got to be the worst compliment in the history of man.

    What are they, cheetahs?

    “The Francesca breast is an elusive and mysterious animal. Favouring only one partner for life and often cloaked in various fabrics, little is known about the Francesca breast. Often it surrounds itself with wire guards for protection. Here we see a hand approaching cautiously over the shoulder, and they’re off! The breasts have easily escaped this covert maneuver thanks to their deftness and cunning.”

  17. @Cam: I didn’t know this video, but that’s one funny jerk. This kind of guy could turn any woman lesbian.

  18. I sympathise with Francesca, I really do.

    Once upon a time, I also looked for courteousness and grammatical prowess in a man… but I have wasted too much time with beautifully-spoken men who have no clue about the real world. Now I just want a man with a decent-sized cock who can get the groceries without phoning me for advice.

    I get the impression that Demetri is all talk (on other people’s walls) and no action. Fail.

  19. No such word as difficultly.

  20. Troll hunter detected.

  21. I’d bang Francesca in a heartbeat

  22. @ Alas- Truer words have never been typed here! Ha!

  23. @SomeRandomChick: Accidentally typing a “w” instead of an “r” hardly implies a lack of grammar skills. She is clearly a smart girl. Plus people tend to be more lax about their grammar when talking to friends, as opposed to complete strangers online. I think the “difficutly” (lmao @ that, btw) was what brought her to the conclusion that he is a dumbass. Oh, and being a complete skeeze, too.

  24. @Lulla – Ah Yup. Total PSYCHO. Must have utterly terrifying to receive as voicemail, but makes for classic material. Did I mention that I find you very elegant?

  25. *Must have BEEN utterly terrifying – but you got me I’m sure.

  26. @Cam It is the same guy! It’s disturbing to know that there are actually people out there like that.

  27. @Cam: I got you. Call me.

  28. @TinaTurner- I was more referring to the no capitalization, lack of sentence structure, and the fact that lax with a friend or not, you don’t then on the very same thread criticize someone for their lack of “prowess” without taking a hit. Ya dig? BUT I’m totally agreeable with Demetri being a skeez.

  29. When I first read the title of this entry, I was hoping it would have something to do with Demetri Martin, even though he isn’t lame… :/

  30. @ Alas: I want that too.

  31. @Alas “Now I just want a man with a decent-sized cock who can get the groceries without phoning me for advice.” LOL!

  32. Oh, and Dimitri is this guy:
    He’s one of those pick-up artists who teaches nerds to be douchebags.

  33. JacksSmirkingRevenge

    The best part is that it’s not just Demetri, it’s THE Demetri.

  34. insert clever name here

    @Wednesday – Damn! I was hoping that was the link for the actual guy. I am dying to see what he looks like.

  35. Dimitri used to have his own website that said something along the lines of “If you’re not penetrating at least 10 orifices a month, then you haven’t reached your full potential” or something terrible like that.

    As for what he looks like- I’m pretty sure this is him

  36. @insert clever name here: I think that’s him at the top of the linked page, but I’m gonna do some more cyberstalking to make sure.

  37. Oh my my, oh hell yes.

  38. pretty sure I’ve read another lamebook post starring our friend Demetri!

  39. After suffering the unintelligible ramblings of countless sub-literate mouth breathers on this site, the fact that Francesca can actually string a coherent sentence together and rejects Dimitri for his lack of grammatical prowess has almost restores my faith in humanity.


  40. chickens dont clap

    @ #16 Gaybriel – he is calling her a “difficutly” captured beast. Not referring to her breasts. I know this because I also initially read it as breasts, thought that was an incredibly weird thing to say, and went back and re-read it :P

    Also massive lol at Francesca: “Demetri, you fox, you” :D

  41. Chickens, thank you! Man, we are all just pervs I suppose!

  42. There most certainly is a word “difficultly”. At least check the dictionary before you make such proclamations.

  43. ThinkingInPictures

    Can anybody tell me what it means to “look butterz”? I’m really curious…

  44. ThinkingInPictures

    Also, I was thinking Ashkan was a guy who just wanted to jump on the “let’s make fun of Demetri without him seeming to catch on” train.

  45. ThinkingInPictures

    It’s a short way of saying she’s a “Butter Face”…you know, everything about her is hot but her face…

  46. I definitely heard Fez’s voice! And maybe it’s the similar sounds, maybe it’s because he’s so very obviously overcompensating for himself, maybe it’s because I’m a giant nerd who has seen too many childrens programs in years past..who the hell really knows, but I can’t help but picture him looking like Petri from The Land Before Time – well, as close to him in human form as one can get.

  47. Francesca is my kind of woman. Rawr!

  48. Francesca for the WIN

    If only I were gay

  49. Just chiming in to say that Ashkan is a male Persian name, and not at all worthy of parricide. Sensible Madness is one of my favorite commenters on here, though, so I’ll let it slide.

  50. Well then…you learn something new every day.

  51. pwned!

  52. Although I’ve never had any critical problems in grammar, I was thinking maybe I should go study more literature just for the sake of picking up blondes.

  53. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    @ iliketotallycool: don’t bother. it’s a foil by francesca. blondes typically are too dumb to understand anything beyond first year english classes. i tried quoting theodore roethke to one once and she was like “Moved in Circles? I LOVE TWISTER”

    the only women who make the secondary echelon are brunettes.

  54. @ZeusJupiter:

    It’s “has almost restored.” You could also write, “almost restores,” but then you’d need to change the verb tenses in the rest of your post. Also, though “sub-literate” might communicate your intended meaning quite well, it’s not the best word choice, and makes you appear uncultivated; “illiterate” or “uncultivated” would perhaps be better words to use there. Finally, “the fact that” is an unnecessary phrase, and one should do their utmost to eliminate it from nearly all intelligent writing.

    I’m quite sure that there are typos or grammatical errors in this post, but frankly, my dears, I don’t give a damn. I accept that I make mistakes, and accept that other people make mistakes, as well. Instead of focusing on those flaws or problems that some people may have while communicating in writing, focus on Demetri’s creepiness, as well as on Francesca’s demonstrated naiveté when it comes to online interactions (because she made the classic mistake of feeding the troll…). But then again, I’m violating a few internet guidelines in this post, too. C’est la vie.

  55. *naïveté

  56. Pedantrix made me laugh.

  57. Courtesty and grammatical prowess he may lack, but you can’t say the boy isn’t determined!

  58. @ ThinkingInPictures

    ‘look butterz’ is slang in the UK (I think more so in London) for very ugly.

  59. It is indeed. It is a contraction of the phrase “but her face”, as in “I think she’s hot, but her face is minging.”

  60. “Youve got a good look going on though, you get me?”

    How do you respond to this? “No, please explain this in further d-bag detail.”

  61. If the tool who keeps posting with my username is in this thread then I just wanted to say – fuck you.

  62. @”real” Ben: you’re a tool, you’re Frodo and you don’t have a pool. Live with it.

  63. ThinkingInPictures

    As a blonde writer with an English lit degree, I take exception to that statement Dr. Azizted-Homicide! :-p ;)

  64. ThinkingInPictures

    And thanks everybody, the “butterface” thing is common where I’m from, I’d just never heard it shortened to “butterz” before.

  65. Butterz, is that not short for “butt ugly”?

  66. ThinkingInPictures

    Yes spastix, as confirmed by Penny Lane, nim, and Ben, it is.

  67. I didn’t see their comments, my bad – I skimmed through the comments as there is a fanfare of Ben hater posts which is annoying now, what has happened to the good old banter about the actual lame posts

  68. The girl’s got balls…

  69. ThinkingInPictures

    Ha, it doesn’t take balls to turn down a skeeze. She’s got some wit though :)

  70. Is it just me that thought Demetri was on a wind up? Trolling Facebook? Didn’t look to me at all like he was genuinely trying to attract them.

    The links don’t convince me, it could still just be two different people with the name Demetri.

    Also, did nobody else think the guy in the link sounds just like suttsteve, the middle aged guy on YouTube who used to post videos where he talked about really mundane stuff, and had his own YouTube sci-fi show, starring him in like, seven different roles? Man, he was awesome. Wish he hadn’t deleted his account.

    Wait, shit, where was I?

  71. Me & Meat-ri are cut from the same cloth.

  72. Dr. Azizted-Homicide
    I’m blonde and slightly offended by your comment.

  73. “Difficultly” is a word. It’s an adverb. Look it up.

    Also @Alas. Ouch. General but generally true. Just hope my girlfriend can deal with a lifetime of “Should i get UNSWEETENED soy milk? What brand?”

    Although, isn’t it a little silly to say you’re only looking for “grammatical prowess” in a man? To look for a man that’s well-spoken is one thing, but…if you were on a date, and a girl asked, “What are some of your best traits?” And you responded, “Grammatical. Prowess.” Date over.

  74. I bet Demetri can handle Demetri.

  75. I for one, am on the Demetri side! nothing to do with having the same name or anything.. Go Demetri go!

  76. There are over 5,000 Ashkans on Facebook. Wow.

  77. Thank you, Cam!! I was trying to remember the name of this douchebag guy I had seen on the internet a few months ago and it’s Dimitri the Stud!!

  78. i can sum up that whole conversation with one word “BURN”!!!

  79. xsharpies – should have been ‘difficultly’ not ‘difficulty’, but he’s still a moron for correcting it and still getting it wrong.

  80. dropitlikeitsroomtemperature

    I love how people start talking like those Joseph Ducreux memes when they plan on putting someone down for their dodgy grammar.

  81. Lol this guy’s an ass.

  82. Am I the only one who thinks his ”giant snake”, is infact a little worm?

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