Monday, August 31, 2009

Boring As Heel


Boring As Heel

Everyone in my family loves Aunt Cloe. However, I don’t. She lives up north just a few hours away from New York city and you can pretty much count on her calling the family at least three times a week. She’ll talk about the time her cat Belgian brought in a field mouse … or recap the “delightful” conversation she had with the sacker at her local grocery store. The point I’m trying to make here is that she talks. A LOT. Thankfully, we have the option of hanging up the phone by “accident” when her verbal diarhea begins. Unfortunately, we all lack this beautiful gift when it comes to Facebook. Joan, do you think anyone wants to read some pointless tirade that you and your underage friends have regarding shoes? NO! Do we honestly care if your hormone-raging body can or can’t fall into step with this year’s latest fashion trends? NO!  So please save your girl talk for this evening’s nail painting session and do us the favor of not wasting our own precious time. Thank you.

Boring As Heel

previous post: Tootally Over!



  1. Heels make people see someone else? Can’t wait until Anthea discovers makeup, it’ll definitely bring the laughs.

  2. LOL, I missed the part in sex ed that said boobs throw your balance off.

  3. The lamest person here is Kara, for trying to sound so much more experienced than she was three years ago.

  4. Because 16 year olds are so much wiser and more mature than 14 year olds.

    Must have encountered alot of stuff in those two years.

    Maybe some dinosaurs, an ice age, and a whole lot of penises.

  5. Well, at least they can communicate more clearly than most of the other 16 year olds on this site, despite still not knowing conjunctions.

    I wonder how much older Kara is. 21 or 22 perhaps? Older sister? Either way, she’s kind of a bitch.

  6. these poor people. apparently they’ve been through hell and back. must’ve been when they broke their heel.

  7. “we are not allowed to wear heels to the big day in your dick”

    Just what kind of hellish party is this?!?!

  8. What the heel!? Apparently 16-year-olds are wisemen compared to 13-year-olds. Such an age difference!

  9. Oh… 16 vs. 14… hadn’t read down that far yet.

    Still, Kara is a bitch and this is boring.

  10. I think the brain cells I lost reading this are equivalent to how many I would’ve lost if I bashed my head against a wall for about an hour.

    I don’t agree with anything those girls are saying, but why can’t people wear their freaking high heels if they want to? At least they’re learning how to walk in them, something I’ve never been able to learn how to do.

  11. People are stupid, no matter the ages.

  12. Is this an old Paris Hilton conversation?

  13. People = Stupid

    Jonas = People

    Jonas = Stupid!


  14. That just made my brain bleed.

  15. I think my favorite part was when Joan said that her shoes look “fabbity fab.” But Kara is a bitch…I forgot you stop growing and are fully mature by 16…right.

  16. I am not people, I’m a Shatner.

    Sixkiller is stupid.

  17. Anthea has been through hell and back but its Kara who knows better what that is. Kara=biglilmanDiablo. Anthea=Diablowannabe coz she wears heels and thongs.

  18. All this time I thought I was living life to the full, when I was really just adding to the mask.

  19. @7 seriously, she even got a response to that without any pointing out that the big day was not, in fact, in someone’s dick.

  20. @ 15 eighthnote – fabbity fab is my new expression!!!!

    Who submitted this? Where’s the German connection? Marthea?

  21. anecdata: i stopped growing when i was 12. :(

  22. Meg: I’m still growing and I’m almost 21.
    It’s kind of a pain in the ass considering I’m already 6’1″. My mother says she didn’t stop growing ’till she was 25 so I have that to look forward to…

  23. Is this gonna be on the test?

  24. Kara, Kara… you fail.

    However, this is the number 1 reason NOT to add pre-teens. They’re absolute morons. And if they won’t listen irl, they sure as hell won’t have an intelligent discussion on the internet.

  25. Why did I just read this??????? WHY????????

  26. It’s YOU’RE! YOU’RE! YOU ARE! Y-O-U-motherfuckingapostrophe-R-E!

    Idiot children!

  27. Morons.

    Who cares if someone wants to wear heels at fourteen? aldskjfdlksd.

  28. Why did my parents have to name me Kara?

  29. i’m just wondering why they’re trying to compete about who’s been through more things than the other..
    ” i’ve been through hell and back ”
    ” yeah, well i’ve been to hell and back THREE TIMES ! ”
    ” well, i’m not 16 yet so just wait til i’m as old as you ”
    ” you wouldn’t even know hell if you saw it ”
    .. like really, NOBODY CARES !

    and all this over someone buying heels.

    also – where did this 13 year old get 500$ to buy new heels ?
    kind of ridiculous.
    next time, just get flats.

  30. I think 16 is, in fact, a hell of a lot more mature – at least for girls. In Arkansas, you’d be good to go at 16. I don’t think any girl would be good to go at 14.

    Although, if you’re going to complain about teenage girls talking too much about mindless crap, you’ll be here all night.

  31. i facepalmed at every post in this one. individaully.

  32. Men invented heels so women can’t run.

  33. This entry satisfies me in a special way because I live in Berlin at the moment and am intimately acquainted with “German humor,” that special Weapon of Mass Destruction most feared across the world. Marthea and Anthea seem to specialize in it.

  34. lol anthea is SO HARD CORE AND COOL.

  35. I want to kill all of them. Just…spill blood everywhere.

  36. Joan: WATTT?!? I SPENT 120 ON THOSE SHOES FOR NO REASON :@:@:@:@
    Anthea: i spent 500 on shoes i wore once
    Joan: its not that much
    Joan: think bout it what else can you get for 120

    someone call A Pimp Named Slickback.

  37. I’m a guy, and even I have lost my balance more than a couple of times when my balls were growing. I can’t imagine wearing heels during that painful, unequilibriated period, let alone growing boobs.

  38. Lolz, I’d love to know the ‘shit’ these girls have gone through.

  39. @29 She probably hit the corner. You know, the usual way to get money.

  40. This really is the sort of thing Oliver Stone should be directing films about these days.

  41. Heels do absolutely nothing for me. Whether i thing a girl looks good has nothing to do with what’s on her feet.

    I can live for a month on $500, without even trying very hard. Sounds like these girls are spoiled rich kids. Oh well.

  42. School has changed a lot since I was around. Teachers never organised parties in someone’s dick. You had to organise a party in someone’s dick yourself, then walk 10 miles to get there in shoes made of rolled up newspaper.

    Youth today, they get everything:(

  43. What the hell. Joan buys shoes and Kara tells her she sholdn’t wear heels at “her age” (keeping in mind Kara is about 3 years older than them) because it’s “bad for her development”. This Kara chick needs to stop complaining about the development of someone she doesn’t know. Seriously, the girl just wants to wear her godamn shoes.

    and just a side note to anthea, you don’t need $500 for shoes you wear once. this is not a wise investment. people who buy shoes and wear them once are stupid.

  44. If children are the future, this example illustrates just how fecked we are.

  45. starving kids in Africa? Heck no, I need 500 dollar heels.

  46. time wounds all heels

  47. I still feel the urge for blood to spill.

    Her shoes didn’t cost 500. She’s a 13 year old girl trying to impress other little shits. She got that shit at payless and they were half off bc it was the b.o.n.g.o sale.

  48. Kara is so lame.

  49. fail on the entire lot.

    Our world has no future.

  50. Fabbity fab, guys.

  51. FUCK ME, it’s just SHOES, not an argument on abortion.

  52. Time to go to the party in the dick! But remember, no heels allowed.

  53. Billy Wilders Dead Monkey

    buncha cunts right ‘ere


    TrainReq xD

  55. All of this shit is about shoes?!

    WTF is hell to them anyways? Gawd. No reason to have a fucking argument over shoes; it’s just immature.

    About the $500; it could be possible. She could a liar, or a poor/middle-class kid who got those shoes to pretend to be rich. Either way, she’s a liar.

  56. So presumably Anthea’s got some sort of mask with an attached hook from which she hangs her heels in order to use them for swift protection against potential attackers. Well, that makes perfect sense. Don’t know what everyone’s moaning about there.

    As for spelling: you can’t claim to be a decent, mature human being worthy of living if you can’t use proper grammar, regardless of your age, and that’s aimed at Kara “16-going-on-95″ McNameblur.

  57. I stopped growing when I was like 13.. and just to clarify: that doesn’t mean I was some huge badass man of a 13 year old.. no, it means that now I’m a scrawny still-can’t-grow-a-full-beard little bitch looking 23 year old…

    but at least I rock a pair of heels.

  58. This is interesting. As pathetic as they all are, Kara in particular, I am impressed by their grasp of the English language. Which is a first for something posted on Lamebook, oder?

  59. i have to side with the teacher here. i know if i was having a party in my dick, i would have a no heels policy too.

  60. Since when are thongs shoes? lmaooooo

  61. Thongs another name for flip flops, jack ass.

  62. Also known by the name jandals. thongs, flip flops and jandals. so take your stupid abbreviation of the phrase laugh my arse off, which by the way is the most ridiculous way of showing that you find something funny, along with rofl and lol or even loltastic if your a big queer and fuck off back to your dark, dank house infested with felines of questionable domestication and faeces.
    cheers cuzzie bro

  63. all i can say is anthea is a fuckwit
    as is joan
    and i want to hide who i am so im off to buy a pair of heels :)

  64. So let me get this straight. It’s more of a waste of time to read about someone’s shoes than it is to post it on That doesn’t make sense to me. The internet is a time-waster.

  65. BORING

    poor joan
    all she says is “i bought new heels” and now shes being told she did it to “hide from the world that will hurt her”???

  67. I want to know where the feck a 14 year old got $120!

    I reckon this Kara person should be more worried about where her friend’s income comes from…

  68. What I find most funny is the people who say that 16 year olds aren’t more mature than 14 year olds.. :L

    A lot happens in those two years, trust me i have a 14 year old cousin who thinks she has the mental age of a 20 year old (does that say enough?) and they never seem to realise that they aren’t actually an adult and that is why there is so much they aren’t allowed to do. In the court of law they, by default, aren’t even responsible for their own actions until 16!

    Anyway, I’m going for some chocolate, those damn messages drained me of the will to live.

  69. That court thing about not being responsible for own actions till 16 is for the UK by the way, I don’t know what it is in USA or anywhere else.

  70. “I’m a guy, and even I have lost my balance more than a couple of times when my balls were growing.”

    Let me get this straight, Constantine. You tripped over the sheer weight of your balls? Either your nuts are MASSIVE or you are a tiny, tiny man.

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