Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Bon in the Oven


previous post: Thinkin’ Straight



  1. Wow, what an idiot.

  2. I’m going to choose to believe this is satire, and Bonnie is on the cutting edge.

    Right…. right?

  3. Whaaaaaaat. I had to keep mine for six years!

  4. Obviously she’s joking, and I found it amusing.

  5. I can’t even give up drinking for five minutes, let alone for enough time to have a baby.

    Fuck it

  6. What does having a baby have to do with getting engaged?
    And I say she’s just an absolute idiot for posting something like this. Maybe she thought it was funny, but to all the people reading it she just looks challenged.

  7. her ovaries should have been ripped out at birth.

  8. I think she’s hilarious. It’s obviously meant as a joke. Love that kind of humor.

  9. I think they’re saying this is lame because there shouldn’t be a question mark at the end. Hilarious!

  10. Forget grammatical errors… this girl has seriously miscalculated important time frames.

  11. Barney Goosefeather

    5 Years? My girlfriend and I got rid of ours before it was born.

  12. This dear Bonnie, is why you should never procreate and you should have probably gone in for a voluntary hysterectomy…yesterday.

  13. Glad shes not the mother of my child

  14. I honestly think she’s serious. It’s amazing that someone so clueless actually knows how to use “you’re” correctly unlike some other Lamebookers.

  15. I have 15 kids and I never gave up drinking and meth so WHATEVER!! But I have no idea about the getting engaged thing.

  16. i have a feeling her mother only stopped drinking for a month when she was pregnant…

  17. Donald Trump's Comb-Over

    Bonnie is a fucking idiot and I pray she never reproduces.

  18. I pray she’s kidding, but I’ve seen too many examples of similar stupidity that makes me think she’s not.

  19. haha oh my god you guys bonnie is so DUMB, doesnt she know that you can just return baby if youre not happy with it??

  20. lmfao.
    I actually burst out laughing.
    I hope to god that she’s only kidding.
    Cause if not.. she should never have children. EVER.

  21. haha, wow.

  22. Barney Goosefeather

    “haha oh my god you guys bonnie is so DUMB, doesnt she know that you can just return baby if youre not happy with it??”

    Veronica, have a word with yourself. Punctuation is your friend. (if you’re not a native English speaker I apologise wholeheartedly.)

  23. This is ripped from Chelsea Handler’s stand up routine about having babies. It’s funny the first time she says it but gets really old after a while.

  24. Retard with a capital R

  25. WTF? these types of people should be forciby sterilized…. without anethesia just so they learn their lesson.

  26. Thanks, E (23)–it sounded like a joke but I wasn’t sure who she took it from.

  27. Chelsea Handler is never funny!

  28. i…what?

  29. lmao, 5 years?!

  30. I feel she’s got pretty eyes.

  31. Initially I assumed this was a joke or a satirical statement since it is so beyond ridiculous and seemingly impossible that someone would actually be so badly mistaken… but then I had a bizarro flashback to my time working in retail and there was much proof that some people are truly this stupid, so it really could go either way.

  32. She should go to Ireland. It takes more than a bit of pregnancy to stop those people drinking.

  33. Good God people, relax with the voluntary hysterectomy talk…this is so obviously not serious and taken from a stand-up routine or something similar. And it’s funny!

  34. Embarrassed Aussie

    if it’s mine, i’ll pay for the abortion…

  35. Haha, nice reference Embarrassed Aussie.

  36. Gosh people, chill out. It should be as apparent to you as it is to me that Bonnie is from an alien species, whose time zips by at the speed of light. She probably aged another ten years in the time it took me to read all the replies to this post!

  37. bonnie sounds like my kind of woman.

  38. Once a baby turns 5 you leave it in the wild to fend for itself.
    If it survives you know you’ve been a good mother.

  39. @miss b




  40. Didn’t realise you had to be engaged to fall pregnant…

  41. Aw, crap. Five YEARS?! I thought it was five months.

  42. Lolololol. Yes, it’s a 5 year commitment. And yes, I had to give up drinking for a month. Sure is a bitch, this beign pregnant thing.

  43. From the tone, use of ellipsis and lack of exclamation points and unnecessary capital letters, I’m going to have to say she’s serious. Usually when people are being facetious they use at least one, if not both, of those tools. (Yeah don’t ask, I major in English so I notice weird shit like that.)

  44. As post 23 pointed out, it’s from a Chelsea Handler routine (here: http://comedians.comedycentral.com/chelsea-handler/videos/chelsea-handler—babies)

  45. I really don’t think this is taken from that Chelsea Handler routine. The only similarity is a brief line about keeping the child for 5 years; the drinking etc was never mentioned in the routine. Anyway, most of the people I know who quote comedy in their statuses tend to quote directly rather than make a passing reference. Maybe Bonnie is kidding, but there’s no way she’s quoting this comedienne.

  46. In all seriousness for a minute, Bonnie has outwitted you all. You have evidence that it’s a joke (Chelsea Handler bit, the fact that she’s smart enough to know the difference between you’re and your), yet ironically enough all you dipshits who are making fun of her with lameass comments like OMGGG SHE SHOULD NEVERRRR REPRODUCE EVERRRRRRRRRR!!!! You look like fucking morons becuase you’ve been outwitted by someone you state has no business reproducing.

    Fuck you, you are all retards and can suck the fecal matter out of my ass.

  47. I think Bonnie is pretty funny… I wonder if she’s dating anyone. Although, I usually only date women that joke about abortion, I would make an exception for Bonnie.

  48. 46, do you need a hug? I can do it before or after i suck the fecal matter from your ass.

  49. This may have to be one of Lamebook’s best ever.

  50. I hate to but I have to agree with AnonisGay on this one.
    Not on sucking on fecal matter, that is just his failed childhood talking.

  51. @Sixkiller; everyone is convinced we’re the same person. Perhaps you can be my succeeded childhood, whereas I can be your evil-pedophile-incestual-intellectual alter-ego?

  52. Keeping it real.

  53. What’s the calorie count for fecal matter?

    Just wondered.

  54. I think she thinks she’s a rodent of some kind.

  55. @Sexface:
    it’s very low in calories, which makes it a great snack. most of the nutrients have been absorbed by the body, but the same could be said about any fat, etc.

    if you eat the fecal matter of a crack head, if you’re lucky, you get a bit of a buzz.

  56. Total eclipse of the brain!

  57. well, is the month of not drinking during a period of a whole month or 31 days scattered across 9 months? either way, it’s sad.

  58. @ Anonisgay….Fantastic stuff. Bend over :)

  59. It would be one day at a time RZ…

  60. Kids grow up pretty fast these days. In 5 years time I’m sure the child will be changing Bonnie’s nappy. You know, provided it isn’t jacking up with heroin.

  61. Yah, I’d say it’s about 5 years and then they’ll be jacking off with their lil brother in the room.

  62. @ AnonisGay. LOL

  63. smart girl… but what will she do with her children after 5 years? kill them? give them away?? let them roam free and fend for themselves?

  64. someone give her a hysterectomy for the sake of humanity

  65. 5 year responsibilty, one month, question mark at the end, u are a dumb bitch that wants a baby for attention and love only

  66. WHAT? it’s just a 5 year responsibilitly?? i had to keep mine 6 >.< :L:L

  67. whatevvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!

  68. bahahaha what a fucking idiot

  69. wow sounds like someone should be kept from ever having a baby.

  70. no her moms ovaries should have been ripped out maybe

  71. At least she spelled ‘you’re’ correctly

  72. yeah, I’m going with it being a fake and she’s just not that funny.

  73. What the fuck is wrong with these crazy, moronic, idiotic and any-other-derogatory-adjective-you-care-to-name people?! Reading Facebook posts like this make me lose whatever hope I may once have harbored for the future of the human race. WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!!

  74. having a child is a 5 year commitment?? and you’re not allowed to drink for a whole MONTH of your pregnancy??
    let’s hope you never reproduce you moron.
    for the sake of the child!

  75. Wow. Everyone knows you have to switch to weed during the pregnancy.

  76. What a fucking retard!!!!!!!

  77. it is from Chelsea Handler, she says it all the time in her stand up and in her book.

    Calm the fuck down people

  78. @kil – Thank God someone caught the reference. I was starting to think everyone on this site was suffering from Downs Syndrome.

    I’ve never even read the book or seen her stand up, and even I recognized this.

  79. Since when does someone let a child move out at 5? What a dumb bitch. Haha.

  80. Not drinking for a month??!! FIVE YEARS?! Can you really be that dumb?? Well at least she doesn’t want a baby. Finally, an idiot choosing NOT to pollute the gene pool.

  81. if this is how aliens breed, then i definitely want to become an alien!

  82. chelsea handler said that people.. but she should have quoted her!

  83. AnonIsGay @ #46 completely nailed it. you hysterical idiots keep screaming “rip out her ovaries! omg! sterilise here with broken glass!” when you’ve already been repeatedly told it’s a quote of a joke from a comedy routine, and therefore NOT ACTUALLY TRUE, and you’re either wilfully ignoring that anyway or you actually can’t be bothered to read the rest of the thread before posting yr scary bloodlust. FAIL HARD.

  84. sterilise *HER obv. typos lol.

  85. you mean *sterilize ?

  86. No, he means sterilise because he isn’t a language butchering American.

  87. soon to be indicted for felony neglect XD

  88. This is a quote from Chelsea Lately.

  89. Barney Goosefather, #22: Just so you know, even us non-native English speakers can use punctuation. Maybe not absolutely correctly, but the commas and dots are there somewhere, and we do know how to use capital letters.

    Veronica Skates (#19), that was a nice one.

    I hope this chick is kidding, but since my faith in mankind has basically vanished during the last 5 or 6 years, I’m afraid that she’s not.

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