Monday, September 27, 2010

Begin Your Week With Wins

previous post: Level Out



  1. Mew

  2. Kitty?

  3. Ben the 2nd

  4. balls Pedanticoldgit

    and why do you need 2 hearts but only 1 each of the other suits?

  5. @Dukeguy, the deck of cards joke is lame enough as it is. Do you really need it spelled out any further?

  6. @dukeguy.
    That would be because there are two people involved in the relationship. You know… ”it takes two to tango”

  7. Wow, that shitty joke warrants eternity in hell? I guess everybody ever is fucked then.

  8. Although there is a special circle in hell reserved for those who still think Justin Bieber jokes are hilarious.

  9. Jeanette it’s very easy to spot if it was a mistake or not, check for the following tell tale signs:

    1- Despite promising you he wouldn’t he went ahead and sprayed all over your face anyway.
    2- Whilst you were thrashing about he stuck a finger up your ringer and refused to remove it.
    3- You asked for his mobile number and he gave you your own number but with just one digit different.
    4- You woke up in the morning with a five dollar bill stuck in your moist box and a crusty stain on your cheek.

  10. Cards,anagram, Bieber Fever, regret posts just gave me a chuckle. The rest gave so much more..

    I better move in with my bf tout suite. It will be hard for him to swallow the newfound knowledge I just gained.

    Jeremy is fucking win. Josh is just bitter because he wasn’t came at from all sides.

  11. @Grim_tidings & buckle_up:
    I was more concerned about the cards than the marriage. I’m pretty sure that you need more than 2 hearts to have anywhere near enough for it to be considered a full deck. 2 hearts in love, sure – but 2 hearts, 1 diamond, 1 spade and 1 club in cards = a shitty game of cribbage.

    It would be more pertinent for Andrew have said – “Marriage is fuck all like a deck of cards and I’m a cuntbag”

  12. Really? No one looks back on their life choices and says “shit, I wish I didn’t sleep around with all those people and collect all those strains of herpes like they were fucking pokemon cards and have all those unwanted children that I could never take proper care of” ??? No one says that?

  13. The anagram was on sickipedia. Didn’t find it funny then, don’t find it funny now.

  14. @muepsilongamma: No, nobody gives a shit about the bad stuff if they’re going to die. If you had a fun life, the consequences aren’t going to matter anymore. If you didn’t do jack-shit with your life, you will regret it.

    P.S. Have fun dying a virgin, you prude.

  15. Lol it looks like I struck a nerve with Mr. b00mstick there. But he makes a good point. I guess you wouldn’t give a shit if you’re gonna die. Then again, I would also ask that you take into account the lives of the other people and children that were affected, passing on those STDs and being unable to care for the unwanted children. But still, very good point.

  16. mu,

    what about the people who in a lifetime have a few one night stands, and several meaningful relationships involving lots and lots of sex (let’s, for form’s sake, say five premarital ones), always practice safe sex and never get an STD? what’s wrong with that? they will most probably be smiling and regret-free on their death bed. they certainly won’t be a bitter, shrivelled up, sexless piece of tree-bark like yourself.

    seriously, from the way you talk it sounds like you got raped as a small child by a leering peewee herman. there are shades of grey you know.

    also – britney spears = presbyterian

  17. alordslums, also a good point. If you didn’t hurt anyone, then i guess you’d have no reason to feel regret. The namecalling was uncalled for though.

  18. Not wanting herpes + children you can’t take care of =/= prude.

  19. Sickipedia got gang raped and lamebook’s liable for prosecution because it recorded the evidence

  20. Awesome wins!

  21. Hobo, Not wanting herpes + children you can’t take care of + being muepsilongamma = prude.

  22. @Muepsilongamma Get out of my head!So what if I just had to catch them all? Is it really all that bad? huh? HUH?! And besides those b*st*rdized children didn’t need all that sh*t. Who do they think I am Jay Z? Screw them for wanting a new pair of Air Jordon’s each year! Cut the ends off of those shoes and you’re feet will fit in just fine!

  23. @ muepsilongamma – Here are three anagrams of your name:-

    Anal Mommies Pug
    Mamma Gulp Noise
    Sealing Momma Up

    Delete which you think is inappropriate. Although I think you should be ‘Easing Plum Ammo’. Just sayin’.

  24. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Call me what you want. I still don’t have herpes or unwanted children.


    Paranoid Android
    You totally lost me…

  25. Curing Cancer, one bj at a time.


  27. I’m not getting the random muepsilongamma hate. Why’s everyone read their comment as saying ‘sex is bad and everyone who’s done it is bad’ as opposed to saying ‘people who got herpes and had a bunch of kids they don’t want will probably regret it’?

  28. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Hobo Enjoy

  29. BritishHobo
    Because they know that I’m religious. People on the internet generally hate conservative people, especially religious conservative people. People like me don’t conform to what society says is “cool” and therefore, we open ourselves up for flack. We are seen as “trolls.” However, I purposely kept my religion and moral values out of this argument and stuck with the facts, and the fact is, STDs and unwanted children = regret.
    I appreciate that you’re at least thinking straight, on a thread where no one else seems to know how to.

  30. Ahh, excellent! Dukey Smoothy Buns has linked you to my most recent argument – stating that it’s wrong to pressure someone into having sex just because “that’s what people do today.” Thanks for helping my case, Dukey!

  31. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    That is completely untrue MEG, I’m Hating on you because you refused to have a threesome with me and Imamofo.

  32. I didn’t refuse! My last line was “bring on the man meat!” lol

  33. Dear muepsilongamma

    Fuck off.

    An Atheist Liberal

  34. lol @ 33
    That the best argument you got? silly

  35. Wasn’t so much an argument, more a request. We already have Fargis as the resident religious troll, he does it much better.

    So, to summarise, fuck off.

  36. I encourage you to go read my posts on this thread again, and find a bible verse, the word “God,” or any other religious backup to my reasonably valid argument. I’ll wait.

  37. muepsolongamma,

  38. @keona

    I made it all the way to the bottom without blinking.

    Now I’m going to bed.

  39. you know when you’re having a really good time with your mates, enjoying a few beers, relaxing, watching something good on tv, maybe talking about girls, then some guy comes along who no-one really likes, but you tolerate him, maybe because he has a hot-tub you can use for parties, and he just sits himself down on the edge of an armchair, and there’s badinage and bonhomie one minute, and then complete silence when he walks in and says ‘hey guys, what’s up?’ and everyone kind of squirms and looks uncomfortable, and everyone goes from 60 to 0 in a second dead? you know the kind of guy who, when someone makes a witty implied joke, actually delivers the unnecessary punchline to a joke which, when only subtly implied was devilishly funny, but when said out in the open is a huge wet blanket? does everyone know the kind of guy i’m talking about? the eternal gooseberry?

    that’s kind of like, you muepsilongamma.

    i’m fairly confident in saying that nobody, but nobody likes you or finds you interesting. someone please correct me if i’m wrong.

  40. “Because they know that I’m religious. People on the internet generally hate conservative people, especially religious conservative people”

    I kind of assumed you were religious from reading this, please accept my humblest apologies. My brain and eyes must be obviously fucked from all the religious, conservative bullshit.

    Peace and love.

  41. @greenstrings Haha, same, well except for the bed part. It’s only 2PM here. It’s nothing short of yawn-able to look at that whole thing without blinking. I’d be shocked if muep can.

    @alord I’m not sure anyone could have put that better.

    I’m starting to miss Dan Fargis now.

  42. i’ll just add, except she hasn’t got a hot tub.

    or a pool, for that matter.

  43. Keona
    I can, and I did. So it’s a bunch of nasty images. Big deal.

    I’ve got lots of friends, a loving family, and an amazing career ahead of me. I don’t need your approval.

    Paranoid Android
    You ignored the part where I said to find where I had used religion anywhere in my argument on this thread here. It sounds like you just want to blindly pound your fists on the keyboard and hope that something witty comes out, rather than making a good point.

  44. ‘I’ve got lots of friends, a loving family, and an amazing career ahead of me.’

    -none of which are here.

  45. I like my morning coffee with a side of rotting cock.

  46. No, they’re not here. I don’t think they keep up with Lamebook. What does that have to do with anything?

  47. @wordyperv

    The best part of waking up is necrosis with your cup. (sung to the tune of the Folgers theme)

  48. Comments, I’ve never heard that theme before (I’ve never heard of Folgers), so I youtubed it. The wonder of the internets… instant gratification. Shit theme, though.

  49. Sorry about that wordy, was under the impression that was an international campaign. I didn’t know that for sure, mind you, I just assumed. Shit theme indeed – I think that’s part of why I remember it.

  50. @meupsilongamaa

    I agree with you. Paranoid is just a bigot who irrationally prejudges anyone who is religious otherwise he wouldn’t be so angry at you when you’ve not used God or anything else in your argument. He wants everyone to conform to his viewpoint in the world and if you don’t he doesn’t think you should be allowed to use the same internet forums as him. It’s silly really. Considering the fact that Christians make up roughly a 1/3 of the worlds population he thinks that he knows whats in the minds and hearts of 2.1 billion people.

    For the record: I don’t think anyone should be pressured into having sex, and that you can’t make blanket statements that no one would regret having lots of sex. Just pointing out that there are some people that might doesn’t mean you think everyone should. Anyone who thinks its to emotionally blackmail people into having sex with you, or calls people names because they don’t share your love of a physical activity really needs to reevaluate themselves. Not everyone has to live the same lifestyle you live, regardless of what you are doing. To accuse someone else of acting holier than thou and judging because they don’t share your beliefs and you are trying to force them to is hypocritical at best.


  51. Wow. Lame. Lot of narrow-minded commenters on here? Hating on someone because they’re religious now? Meu has accepted points graciously, been quite polite, and what she may or may not say on her profile is still not stuffed in our face. It’s by choice that we see it.

    Screenshot of these comments, Lamebook. You have a new entry.

  52. My only regret will be I never had enough.

  53. @ TipDipTease


  54. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    ariesdragon123 Allow me to begin this comment by calling you a fucken idiot. Also allow me to hypothesize that you have experienced this emotional blackmail previously in your life and that is why you can’t see that you are making an emotional argument up there. I will try to keep this simple like I did in MEG and my previous conversation.

    1.) Nobody here thinks it’s okay to pressure someone to have sex
    2.) Nobody here thinks it’s okay to whine about how guys break up with you after you refuse to have sex with them.

    If you feel pressured to have sex, then talk to your fucken partner, if he doesn’t stop it then YOU get out of the fucken relationship. Nobody can “emotionally blackmail” you if you have a fucken mind of your own.

  55. @50

    Bravo, thanks for the psychological profiling by proxy, all from a few pithy throw-away comments on the internet.

    I. Am. Impressed.

    I’m not going to degenerate this into a war of words, save for the fact it would be wise to remember which site we are on and the context in which my comments were made.

    A Bigot

  56. You’re all fucking bigots about something. STFU already and move on to another topic.

  57. i hate christians!

  58. And I was going to put some pressure on you, Dukey. Not ok?


  59. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I can’t believe I forgot to add a lil’ something for TipDipTease. Okay, nobody is hating on MEG for being a christian, as far as I can tell, they are hating on her conservative. I can see how you would jump to that conclusion after reading just this one thread but lots of people on here are Christians (believe it or not) and nobody hates on them.

    I think I might need to stop reading comments or commenting anymore, you people are turning me grouchy.

  60. lol

  61. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Word It would be pretty hard to pressure someone who is willing. Speaking of pretty hard …

  62. @dukey smoothy buns lol u obviously have never had sex

  63. Whoo is it getting heated in here. *starts handing out chocolates, condoms, chocolate-flavoured condoms and condom-flavoured chocolates.*

    Right. That should sort everybody out.

  64. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    anonisgayisgay :( it’s not my fault, I can’t find any truckers to give my <4 to.

  65. lol @ dukey

    and is anon offering to sort you out….?

  66. I don’t think anon qualifies as ‘trucker’ enough. He strikes me more as the tricycler type.

  67. he has a super-cool jet-powered skateboard!! the babes love it.

  68. *swoons*

  69. i can’t wait til everyone figures out how to get those little thumbnails up so i can check out the talent (or otherwise) on here. then i can start the arduous task of trying to sweep up anon’s seconds.

  70. how DOES someone get those thumbnails up? btw how do you get the text to change into bold n italics?


  72. Yeah, alord, how does one go about fixing those pixies? I’m ready for a talent show.

  73. i dunno.

  74. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I believe you need to upload it to and it will show up on any site that uses gravatar code.

  75. so, june, are there many half-chinese half indian (it was that, wasn’t it?) people in the carribean?

    care to explain your provenance?

  76. oh and thanks, dukey. i wonder how on g_d’s earth we were supposed to work that one out for ourselves…?

  77. dukey you’re a star. merci beaucoup.

    alord, I’m from Trinidad, which is one of the Caribbean countries with a whole bundle of Indian folks (about half the population). The Chinese genes are less easy to come by, but I daresay I’m not the one one out there.

  78. Oh and to clarify, neither of my parents (or their parents for that matter) have been to India/China. So I guess that makes me fourth generation something?

  79. ohhhh, like shivnarine chanderpaul and ramnaresh sarwan.

    that explains it all.

    i tried to do the gravatar thing – but apparently my lamebook username and password isn’t good for gravatar or wordpress. which confused me as i was sure that lamebook was a wordpress site. puzzling indeed. i’ve probably done everyone a favour by withholding my fizz-og.

    it’s only a matter of time though. dukey – i’m hoping against hope that you look like flavor flav! that would make my day.

  80. actually, dukey, can you just put a pic of flavor flav up, please….


  81. omg alordlsums u are such a fag, how did u not know we wer gona find out that dukey is ur other account lol man u r so sad

  82. omfgzlolz anoingyaisgan, u r such a fuktard, y dont u stop sukin ur own dik an say sumthin interestin?

    see – i can do it too, easy.

  83. ;-)

  84. …Why would a rape victim be more likely to wish she/he had less sex? There’s a big difference between sex and rape. Jeremy’s “joke” fails.

  85. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Sorry alord I’m light skinned so no flava flav. And no I wasn’t going to put up a pic of myself, but I am considering it now.

  86. Dukey Smoothy Buns


  87. just put a photo of pharell/llcoolj up. done. ok, you may not look like flava flav, but to make me feel better, in my head you now sound like q tip (it’s a toss-up between him and vincent price for ‘coolest voice ever’). please give me that one, dukey! indulge my crap racial profiling! gravatar refuses to accept my lamebook username and password. and i was finally about to pluck up the courage to show the world my cyclopean eye (apart from the lack of a second eye i’m the spitting image of prince charles, obviously).

  88. Beibonic plague – good one, i need to rob that phrase next time someone utters the name of that godforsaken woman.

    That first one is pretty awesome too.

  89. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    alord, here you go.By the way I just went on gravatar and created a new account but I had to sign up with the same email on my lamebook.

  90. alord, shiv and ramnaresh are Guyanese actually, but close enough. Kudos on being a cricket fan.

    I was going to get all excited and put a picture of myself, but then I remembered that at least two of my cousins are here somewhere and I reeeaally don’t feel like innuendo-ing out while they can see me.

  91. @37, i’m definitely not desensitized enough to make it through that one :(

    maybe some day.

  92. Sorry folks, I was at a gig. What did I miss?

    Ooo we’re learning how to put the thumbnails up?!

  93. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Lol @ MEG

  94. Why are you laughing?

  95. alord #69, I agree 100% I’m also checking out the talent first :)

  96. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    MEG I was waiting for your picture thumbnail to assess the talent.

  97. I don’t know how to do the picture thumbnail. And what do you mean by “talent” ?

  98. Yeah I’m not so sure about doing that. I don’t want my image on everything I ever post on. That could get me into a lot of trouble in the future.

  99. I most definitely want my image on everything I say here.

  100. What if you had multiple accounts? Would it show up on all of them?

  101. Oooo look, my picture showed up! I love it!

  102. Oh wow, I was the 100th comment. That feels cool.

  103. yes, it’ll show on all your accounts under that email/username… hence I remain faceless :-)

  104. Yeah I’ma remain faceless too. I just don’t like having people know what I look like and having possible future employers here seeing me and stuff.

  105. if you’re future employers are on lamebook… that says a bit about them, doesn’t it?

  106. Good point!

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