Friday, May 21, 2010

Background Checks

previous post: FANtastic Friday (part 2)

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96 Comments

  1. What the hell is the dude in yellow doing???

  2. Hello boobs! Holy cow, that’s some serious cleavage side boob right there!

  3. That would be picking his nose.

    Am I the only one wishing this stupid kissy-face/peace sign shit would just go the fuck away?

  4. Tyler – Yeah but it looks like at least one of his fat fingers is in his mouth too, like he’s giving himself a ‘face shocker’ or something. And re: the kissy face (a.k.a. “duck face”), no you’re definitely not the only one. There are a number of people on my network who spend way too much time at clubs and it seems like club-goers, particularly those of the fashion trash variety, don’t know how to pose for pictures any other way.

  5. #2 is a pretty old photobomb. The dude in front is some douchey MTV dude. Can’t remember his name.

  6. Jealousy:

    It wears purple dresses and hangs out in the corner of clubs.

  7. What’s up with the guys teeth in the first pic?

  8. Jealousy has a twin sister. Her name’s Grimace.

  9. krasivaya_devushka

    Is that Wilmer Valderrama? Hahah those girls must be pissed ’cause the guy in yellow ruined their picture with his nose picking.

  10. Yeah, that’s definitely Wilmer. Why do I know that?

  11. Is the last one a party at a mattress store or am I missing something?

  12. That girl has some nice boobs.
    Why did they blur out Wilmer Valderrama’s face?

  13. Poor baby in pic #3 :-(

  14. In the last one, why is everyone’s eyes blurred but the black guy’s??

  15. CommentsAtLarge

    Looked at pic #4 and thought “wow, I know people get it on in clubs, but that’s just amazingly brazen.” Then I noticed the pole and what looks to be money by the chick’s leg — ahhh strip club. Now I am more confused at the context of the picture…

  16. I thought the second picture was of Faisal Shahzad. #3 made me chuckle. Is that chick getting it from behind in #4?

  17. @Anfield – I think the guy in the first pic has braces.

    I love picture #2, although I haven’t been able to take my eyes off the boobs long enough to look at the background. #4 is a lap dance in a strip club, right?

  18. how did the person taking the first picture NOT notice the dog taking a dump in the background?

  19. @teo – I thought so, wasn’t sure though.

  20. ^ Reckon they had noticed, and left it in cos they thought it was funny.

  21. Incredible.

    A dog shitting, a man picking his nose, a fat grunter, a pole/lap dancer with her wannabe uphill-gardener friend and people on beds.

    I have never seen any of these things before, thank you lamebook for enlightening me.

    *cries tears of joy, bashes the bish over fat chick while picking nose and taking a dump*

    And I’m spent.

  22. Crap, that last comment was @18

  23. Ha ha, I love photobombers.

  24. Boobs are just fantastic.

  25. Curse those rockin’ tits.

  26. krasivaya_devushka

    Yeah, I don’t see why they blurred out WV’s face lol :)

    For pic#1, even if they didn’t see the dog, they still could’ve cropped the picture.

    And what is going on in the last one? :S

  27. I actually like the first one as in my browser at full screen, it looks like the top of a childs head (like you get those belated shotgun wedding pics) until you scroll down and get instead, the shitting dog!!

  28. haaaaaaaa, the prom one is eerily similiar to a picture from my prom, except it involved a cow instead of a dog, and my date and I looked nothing like the couple above..

    -God’s investment(His Son) in you, was SO great, he could NEVER abandon you!-

  29. MsBuzzkillington

    I actually feel kind of bad for the girl in the purple dress in the 3rd picture.

    She is trying really hard to sit as far into the corner as possible and they take a picture. It seems like they almost set it up like that to get her in it as a way to mock her.

    She just looks so sad.

  30. Yeah, Ms Buzzkillington, I agree. I felt bad for her, too. The way the picture is set up, and the way the chick on the right is pointing, I don’t think there’s any doubt that they and the jerk taking the picture set it up just so they could get a picture of a fat girl. Well, karma’s a bitch, ladies, and the thyroid can go crazy at virtually any moment.

  31. You know Msbuzz … the sensitive side of me agrees with you. I just don’t know/understand how that ‘happens’. It is kinda sad though, and if it was set up to mock her … worse than sad.

  32. MsBuzz,

    Yes she’s trying to be invisible. Slouching, and pulling back, but I’m afraid it’s not going to happen for the poor thing. The reason being of course, is she takes up most of the background, so she is an unavoidable target.

    Pic 2, I would kill for those eyebrows on aqua girl, oh, and her boobs as well.

  33. Yeah fuckin’ Wilmer sure has done well considering he played the befuddled Fes. Lindsay ffs! I mean, I am sure I could do her nowadays but back then..omg.

    @word I always assumed you had boobs like ‘aqua girl’ and will continue to do so.

  34. The picture with the fat girl just makes me really sad.

  35. Is anyone else getting uberly freaked out by Jesus freak, elixabeth?

  36. Dear Lamebook,
    Please provide more lame/funny/gross posts. All this averageness under the chapter heading for your upcoming book (don’t deny you havn’t plans for one) is just getting old. Wordpervert, British hobo, slimjayz and all the other regular posters thanks for the chuckles and thanks malteaser for the LOL(Z).
    My apologies for the interuption, please continue.

  37. *headings

  38. mass, there wouldn’t be many of us chicks with boobies like that, especially if she’s au natural (which might not be the case).

    I’ll stick with my boobs, and raise her an eyebrow, or two.

    Lady Katara, she pisses me off.

  39. She’s got good bone structure too, damn you, aqua girl.

  40. krasivaya_devushka

    lol what’s so special about her eyebrows?
    She does have nice boobs, but eyebrows are just eyebrows…

  41. @ #2 Chris Farley back from the dead to cock-block Fez?

  42. Also, I think the chick on the left (my left, not their left) of the aqua-girl pic is far more attractive.

  43. The shape of the eyebrows is very attractive to me. Very Angelina Jolie.
    Eyebrows can make or break the face. Think about it.

    melissa, I laughed at Chris Farley.

  44. lol

    I feel bad for the whale in the second one though.

  45. * third one

  46. krasivaya_devushka

    That’s very true, but eyebrows can be easily shaped to make them best suit your face and features…
    They do look good on her, but wouldn’t necessarily be the best shape for someone else. :)

  47. malt, for a second there, I thought you were feeling bad for the fat nose picker, so to use your words, lol.

  48. krasivaya_devushka

    Pic #3 isn’t funny; it’s just sad. But why would anyone show up at such a place and then just sit there being bored? Get up and do something!
    And lets say they did make fun of her and all – why would anyone allow that? Stand up for yourself and demand respect!

  49. Hey isn’t that Wilmer Valderrama?

  50. schiuma, I just read your comment, and I have to agree. The quality of the postings has gone off of late. When I think back to some past classics, the current ones are distinctly pale by comparison.

    It’s a hard gig at times, but we can only work with the material we’re given. So I guess we’ll all soldier on, trying to make silk purses out of sows ears… for now.

  51. You guys are being really unfair to those girls. It’s just as likely that they sat down much further away from the giant grape woman to take their picture but her gravitational pull forced them closer. We can only hope they were able to realize what was going on in time to accelerate at least fast enough to maintain a stable orbit around her so they didn’t end up crashing into her at high speed.

  52. BeautifullyDizzy

    I feel really bad for the girl in #3. Poor girl looks just plain miserable and ashamed. I hope karma bites those bitches in the a$$!

  53. Picture five leaves me with so many unanswered questions:

    What is up with partying at the mattress store?
    …Why are two guys getting it on?
    …On a mattress with other peoiple on it
    …And no one is in shock?

  54. BeautifullyDizzy

    I’m pretty sure #5 is at a club…

  55. texas, 2 guys?, that ain’t no guy he’s on top of, and that’s a club, you see those big lounge/bed things in many places.

    As for being in shock, eh, it would take a bit more than heavy petting to move the masses, I’d say.

  56. It took me a while to realize there was someone in the background in pic 2.

  57. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    :( poor #3

    Aqua boobs look totally fake. But then it could be the hater in me. I doubt that though! Quite happy with mine just the way they are!

    @texasbeautyf #5 is a guy and a gal. Not sure how you see two dudes?

  58. Who cares if aqua books are fake, she got her money’s worth. AquaBoobs FTW…. yum…

  59. Normally I am the first to jump in with some fatty jokes, but I feel bad for the purple girl. Her feelings of humiliation, boredom and low self esteem are very plain to see. Which makes me pretty angry someone would take a picture to make fun of her…if that IS what happened, which I’m not sure from the pose.

  60. I don’t see anything wrong in the second pic. In fact, I don’t even see the background. All I see are titties.

  61. I’m with melissaphlegm @ #42. The girl on Wilmer’s right arm is smokin’ hot, and FAR more attractive than aquaboobs.

    Also, I wouldn’t mind being a wedding crasher at the reception following the bachelorette party in pic #4. A couple of those girls are pretty cute too.

  62. There are two (black) strippers in the 4th pic, and only one of them is at work.

  63. rockinghorsefly

    I don’t think aquaboobs necessarily has fake ones – mine are easily as nice as that and real.

    Fat girl just makes me really sad.

    None of these are funny.

  64. Lamebooooooook :( Stop iiiiiit :(

    Seriously. Stop just posting pictures of fat girls or whatever, as if that by itself is lame, or funny, or whatever.

    I get worried sometimes that this site isn’t the way I think it is, and the posts are more about laughing at fat people, and laughing WITH the people who make racist comments and jokes about women making sandwiches (long time readers may have noticed I FUCKING hate these jokes and am a boring repetitive twat in this area).

  65. I would wreck that chick in the teal dress. Those boobs are meant for me to motorboat them. Just being honest here.

  66. Fat Girl Photo is just one of those progression type pictures, like when they show the evolution of apes to neanderthals to modern man. This continues man’s journey by charting the devolution of modern Americans.

    Middle Girl is the start, Right Girl is the chubby interim phase, and Left Girl is the final fuck you to Charles Darwin.

    Please note that they aren’t doing a “point” or a “peace sign”. They are trying to represent their positions (1, 2, etc.), but they’re too goddamn stupid to get it right.

    You are all correct that the picture is sad, but you’re sad for the wrong reasons.

  67. rebarbativebecc

    Last pic, I think the person taking the photo definitely used the guys in front as an excuse to take a pic of those people lol, they’re not even in frame :P

    Fat girl pic, what? Fat people aren’t allowed to sit near skinny people now? I wouldn’t care and neither should anyone else.

    I agree with BritishHobo and @29, the girl looks so sad already and it really looks like they included her in the photo on purpose to laugh at her :(

  68. Why is Elixabeth annoying exactly?

    And I might be in the minority here, but I got the feeling lamebook added the picture with the fat girl BECAUSE it’s obvious that the two skinny girls were just making fun of her. Thus, the lameness is on THEM and not HER.

  69. first and last are shopped

  70. @Crispy_Bandana
    elixabeth started out by not saying anything other than leaving that signature. Nothing except pushing an apparent agenda. Now it’s talking. If it starts contributing, that’s great. But it very much seemed like spam when it first showed up. That’s why it’s perceived as annoying.

    @laynuh
    Shopping is the foundation of business. Business is the foundation of capitalism. Why do you hate America?

  71. #2: Haha it’s a gold-digger! The guy, I mean!

    Hm, that was a lot funnier in my head.

  72. @rockinghorsefly:

    I don’t believe you at all. Uh uh. Come to Florida and let me judge for myself. After I conduct several days worth of testing, I will share my findings with the Lamebook community – if I can find the strength to post.

  73. Words to think on…

    The beauty of anonymous site like this, is that someone can say they look like aqua girl, but actually look like purple girl.
    The leaps of faith taken on here at times are amusing, and we all do it.

    Ahh well.

  74. rockinghorsefly

    @stretch: I am going to have to decline your very generous offer, you will just have to trust that I am being truthful. ;-)

  75. number 2: WHOA those are some big boobs
    number 4: holy crap are they having doggy style?!!!

  76. yeah you two bitches don’t make fun of the fat girl you don’t know what you’re going to look like in a few years….

  77. Cobaltcat,
    I don’t care how much fun they make of that fat girl, she is FAT. As in: DISGUSTINGLY SO. There is no way that would happen to a healthy chick in a few years. Try 20.

  78. Knucklepopper, actually there is.
    All it takes is a thyroid desease and you’re up 60 pounds in a year, while everyone, including yourself, is mystified as to why this happens. The world, and unfortunately still many doctors, then assumes you’re just stuffing your face with sweets while noone is watching, while you desperately starve yourself, do hours of sport and cry in your pillow. And get judged by the clueless, of course.

  79. “It’s just as likely that they sat down much further away from the giant grape woman to take their picture but her gravitational pull forced them closer.” – SM

    LOLOL ^

  80. Ugh, those dumb chicks in picture 3 are making duckface.

  81. That is no peace sign. Though it is sign language. They are saying look at us compared to her. She obviously did not want to be in the photo. You can tell by the way she is trying to just kinda lean away from them. I’m with Cobalcat on this one.

  82. Knucklepopper is a douche.

    Also i don’t think the two girls are making fun of the girl in the purple dress. As the fat friend I think i can fairly assess what happened here: The two girls decided purple girl would be less hard on herself and depressed if they talked her into going out with them. So they went to her house and dressed her up to try to make her feel pretty. All this did was show her the distict contrast between herself and the skinny girls regardless of how much makeup they put on her. Wouldn’t this make you depressed and want to shy away from having your photo taken?

    Might be over-identifying but that doesn’t change the fact that knucklepopper is a total douche.

    Btw, I think Knucklepopper is a douche.

    (And thanks whattf; nice that some people know)

  83. *distinct.

  84. Nice photobombing by John Goodman in the 2nd pic.

  85. When I judge people physically, I like use statistically unlikely reasons for their appearance. Occam’s razor can suck it.
    Fat person: Must be hypothyroidism.
    Thin person: You know it’s hyperthyroidism.
    Mentally challenged person: They’re probably Irish.
    Attractive person: Witches’ potion

    Oh well, I probably won’t be around much anymore as I’m certain that I will win the upcoming lottery drawing. How can I lose?

  86. Then you can just buy that whorehouse in Germany Soup. When you do, remember that I prefer redheads. I’m not to picky though, anything with a pulse will do.

  87. I’m with Soup on his judgements, those are the things that always come to my mind (I shall now remove my tongue that is embedded firmly in my cheek).

    But I’m winning that lottery, Soup, not you, but I’ll share with you. Promise.

  88. I think Whattf’s point in bringing up hypothyroidism is simply that you don’t know the whole story; so stop judging in general. Because you are honestly clueless.

  89. @HeSaidWhat
    The geriatric wing will always be open to you.

    @Word
    After I win, I will be buying a ticket to come down your way. I can’t wait to meet Paul Hogan.

    @omglulu57
    Thank you for judging me on my judgments. Your objections to my assumptions have made me consider a different verdict. From now on I won’t offer facetious comments, I’ll just call anyone who disagrees with me uninformed.

  90. At least I won’t feel so bad when they forget about me. Not to mention it will always be some strange for them.

    I met Paul Hogan once in a public bathroom. He looked at me and said, “You call that a penis?”

  91. I am also very curious as to what kind of party they are at where there are endless counts of beds laying around.

  92. @HeSaidWhat There are a lot of clubs out there now that have that theme… But I would steer clear of them… If you took a black light to those beds I’m sure you’d vomit!

  93. I’m not saying that dog in the first pic _isn’t_ pooping, but it looks to me like he is about to jump in the water, not that he is going to the bathroom. He looks like he’s already been for a swim already. Thus, no need to crop him.

  94. Is that Wilmer Valderrama?

  95. Yeah saucer that’s him. It’s a pic that has been circulating for a while now.

  96. 1) Yes, I too felt horribly saddened and depressed by the poor fat girl. Obviously she got all dressed & purtied up for the party and is still stuck in the corner watching two skanks skank it up.
    2) I came to read the comments expecting to see a bunch of jerks make fun of the poor thing, and instead found that many of you felt the same way. Thanks for proving that not everyone on Teh Internetz is a jerk.

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