Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Back Scratch Fever

previous post: Photostop

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110 Comments

  1. fun? thats fetishist!

  2. Bet he did it himself with a cat.

  3. That is… well… looks painful… I dont have any jokes really…

  4. Jeebus! It looks like he got mauled by a freakin’ bear!

  5. Maybe the poor girl was just trying to escape. It looks like there’s a shrine on his wall, ala every serial killer movie ever made.

  6. He ties o make it anonymous by saying, ‘you know who you are,’ yet he tags her?

  7. I like how she attacked the entire back–except for the “Mom” tattoo…

  8. i like scratching my guy’s back, but HOLY SHIT, there is such a thing as too much.

  9. Holy Balls.

  10. This post reinforces my assertion; I hate people.

  11. Judging by the super-cool ‘mom’ tat, surely this guy is too lame to get a girl?

  12. @cynic

    I know, that was my favorite part of this. He TAGGED her. Lame.

  13. I think there are two main possibilities here. One is that he got laid by someone pretty rough. Or, more likely, he’s a creepy loser stalker who got attacked by the girl he’s following.

  14. Classy choice for your PROFILE PICTURE, stud.

    P.S. I didn’t know raccoons could get Facebook accounts. I’ll spread the word.

  15. “this is what happens when ur having a fun time with a girl u know who you are…mom”

  16. How is that harsh? The girl/raccoon/bear didn’t even break the skin. Weak.

  17. Why does his bedroom look like the hideout of an IRA terrorist?

  18. @ doodle and Marc
    I think you are probably onto something… Brandon obviously lured his unsuspecting stalker-victim to his room, she saw the creepy shrine and clawed her way out.

  19. I’m pretty sure since he tagged her in the photo…she knows who she is…and so does everyone else. Isn’t Allegra an allergy medicine? This is some reaction he’s having!

  20. My ex boyfriend tried to get back at me by showing me his back in a similar state. would have been more effective if the lady who inflicted it on him had been a 6month pregnant hoe bag!

  21. Who said she made it out (Alive)? Maybe this is a murder confession from our young stud…
    He was having fun after all, but doesn’t mention if it was a two way street.

    Plus I can see his strangling gloves tacked onto the wall in the background with other torture implements… Allegra met a nightmarish end at the hands of the facebook serial killer!

  22. 1. She could have tagged herself.
    2. I hope the reason that tat looks like is because he got it in PRISON and it was the best available.
    3. ADAYUM! Talk about leaving your mark.. is this the new hickie???? This whole scene just screams white trash. I’d be willing to bet this all went down inside a trailer in some rural county in Arkansas….and yes Natural Ice WAS involved.

  23. Rapist, infact cat rapist…..

  24. Dammit! someone beat me to the cat jokes.

    But serious, thank God having some class is now a thing of the past or we wouldn’t have anyone to make fun of on Lamebook.

  25. Woot Woot: I LOL-ed!

  26. And it looks to my like Brandon probably said, “Hey, ‘girl,’ scratch by back up ‘real good’ and then I’ll post it on facebook.”

  27. OK, I don’t mean to be taking over the board, but I just read spastix’s comment, and that made me laugh, too. Nicely done!

  28. they are too well placed almost like his boyfriend did it!!!from the back!!!

  29. Maybe Allegra is his dog and the tag links to her Dogster page. Looks like Allegra wasn’t too happy about Brandon’s chosen activities.

  30. Did anyone notice all the different angles on the back, some of those just don’t seem possible. My vote is it’s a cat.

  31. Mom? Could say ‘Men’.

  32. I’m no forensic scientist but I’m pretty sure she would have had to have been behind HIM to make some of those marks. LOL.

  33. Damn you PixelGrimace! I was totally gonna say that! :o ) you are indeed quite right.. looks like he’s the ‘taker’ in this relationship.

  34. Men works, looks like a team effort, maybe a gang of paroled sex pests fought over him like hobo’s fighting over scraps of food.

  35. “…u know who u are”
    Then proceeds to tag her, so now, not only do these two know who did this, everyone who see’s this does. Classy. (:

  36. I’ve had some good sex in my time and scratched a few backs, but never like THAT.

  37. This is neither girl nor cat. Too little blood for cat and IF that was a girl she was trying to get him to stop or she was so bored she made it her project to reach as many spots as possible. OR she was trying wayyy too hard to pretend she had a good time.

  38. i didnt know it was cool to brag about being buttraped by a guy named allegra

  39. @chiiro dont flatter your self, you have never had good sex, if that was the case you would be having it not mincing about on lamebook.
    i should know we can smell our own!!

  40. This is why you always check a prostitute’s fingernails…you don’t want any permanent scars if she decides to take her anger at her pimp out on you.

  41. This is hilarious.

  42. Nice gloves on the wall. Who does he think he is, Willie Mayes Hayes? I am surprised that this guy could even steal second base.

  43. This coming from someone who has the word “mom” tattooed on his shoulder? He should’ve hung his backscratcher back up on the wall beside his gloves when he got done using it.

  44. You guys, he’s fantasizing… Allegra’s last name is Cole.

  45. @39: Nope, being on a website doesn’t mean you don’t have sex. Thanks for telling us all about your own failings though.

  46. My guess is he raped and killed some random girl and Allegra is his partner in crime. Girl tried to defend herself. Then Brandon put this picture to Facebook and tagged Allegra, so everyone would think these two had rough sex and now they have an alibi. Well played mom lover!

  47. OOp. Someone was watching a little USA daytime movie 2 weeks ago :-P

  48. Lamebook Admin have mosaic the name to protect his identity, but I would speculate as to it reading;

    Brandon(‘s) (Rapist’s) Photos

    His account was hijacked by the man/men who inflicted this monstrosity to post photos as a dark reminder of him loosing the fight and concede to the ferocious attack.

  49. Lucky bastard.

  50. I think you’ve all got the wrong end of the stick here. They’re not scratches – it’s crayon where his girlfriend has been drawing lines on his back while he was asleep. I expect she drew on the mom-heart with black crayon at the same time…

  51. Movie title: Passion of the Douche.

  52. obviously the scratches look weird..

  53. wow, just wow.

  54. I say raccoon or sloth.

  55. So I’m guessing Mom took the photo?

  56. That. Is. Nothing. I still have scars from a girl I encountered over the summer.

  57. Those aren’t scratches, the dude has a skin condition called dermographism where any scratch or any allergic reaction will do that, he’s probably too stupid to know it. It doesn’t hurt they’re just welps like hives.

  58. Nice work LaurenLee653. Go science!

  59. “welps” = “welts”
    hth

  60. Could it be his ‘Mom’ flogged him with a cat-o-nine-tails for been so stupid as to tattoo her name in a heart on his shoulder thus shinning a light on a “Nip Tuck (the post-op) Mom” relationship that they have?

    Or it’s self harm inspired by Silas in the Da Vinci Code?

  61. just passing through

    bet he had sex with a cat.

  62. Fatty McFatFat needs to stop going to the chink buffet at lunch.

  63. I think his back got some super sunburn (maybe he lives in CA?) but he put a piece of paper with scratches on his back to make him look “tough”. Y’know, like a tracer or what not? Just saying.

  64. 63 – shhhhssssshhhh, jog on

  65. ooooh someone got a trainset for Christmas and was trying it out – maybe even some little six-year-old girl to do the honours. Either way – creepy

  66. Maybe he should have thought about giving those gloves to Allegra…

  67. ThinkingInPictures

    The guy is bragging about boring a girl enough to make her decide to decorate his back in lieu of actually, you know, enjoying herself? I just don’t understand kids these days…

    Clearly Allegra is a sweet girl. She went a little overboard since if you’re having fun you don’t have to try that hard to proove it, but she’s attempting to boost his ego. “Oh no honey, obviously I enjoyed it! I mean, your back looks like you got in a fight with a weed whacker, doesn’t it?”

    Awww, I wonder if it was his first time!

  68. ThinkingInPictures

    prove that is… damn sticky keys.

  69. Or a catroon got him? Or catcoon?
    I´m not very good with spoonerisms.

  70. facebook search “allegra pellerano” and you’ll see the culprit

  71. See, it is a cat!

  72. lol allegra pellerano and its a cat, i see what you did there :p

  73. I’m all for scratching a man’s back during *whistles* but that looks extreme. I’d feel bad if I’d done that (unless he asked).

  74. Someone ought to check for his DNA underneath the fingernails of his fifteen year-old sister.

  75. What cat could do something like that? It looks like he raped a Bengal tiger.

  76. lamebrain! thats terrible! and funny.. but really why o why put that stuff on facebook?! its only a matter of time when people start posting poo pictures…o..wait…

  77. For some reason this is making my skin crawl.

  78. I admit it. It was me. Not with *this* limp-dick, but I have done it before, and I’m not a racoon, or a bear.

    I did it as in,”I’m going to rake up your back, motherfucker, because you sure as hell suck in bed. I’ve got nothing better to do, so maybe if I make you uncomfortable, you’ll hurry the fuck up and get off of me.”

    Women don’t do this because you are good. They do this either because they know you have a particular fetish, or because you suck.

  79. Brandon here just had one of his fellow frat buddies scratch his back after convincing them he suffered some sort of skin disease in need of daily contact. Before they knew it, things were out of control, and this was the outcome. Don’t worry, Allegra, he said you were female.

  80. dawnofthedeadling

    Wtf is up with the mom tattoo, lololol.

  81. @ jewelofdenile OR because they think they’re a porn star.

  82. ur not supposed to scratch THAT much…. ur supposed to lightly use ur fingernails to raise goosbumps on his back… SMART PPL!!!

  83. HAHAHAHAHA.
    I feel so proud to have submitted this entry…
    80+ comments. I don’t think I’ve seen that many. :)

  84. @totalpixie
    TRUE– however, i would suggest that if they did above in the name of porn stardom, then the guy still sucks. If they can concentrate on digging in and tearing, then they aren’t getting enough enjoyment out of it. If they’re getting PAID, that’s a different matter entirely…

  85. @Allygirl_88
    Sounds like you read that straight off a page in Cosmo. If you are actually taking time to perfectly measure just how much pressure you’re applying with your fingernails (in the MIDDLE of sex!!) then perhaps you should try sex with a different partner?

    Clearly whoever did that to his back was completely letting loose and I bet they both had a fanfuckingtastic time!

  86. so..he gets laid. runs to look at his back immediately after. yells for his camera because, clearly, that is facebook worthy.

    how romantic.

    note his shitty tattoo. it looks like a 6 year old did it.

    and where does this guy live?! his wall memics a serial killers. the kind that have little keep-sakes from each victim. hott!!…

  87. The mom tattoo really adds to the sex back scratches.

  88. To be honest it looks more like she was sitting on his back in order to get at some of those places.
    Read: Dildo in the butt.

  89. Hey, I can see my house by the “MOM” tattoo.

  90. @jelly: Agreed.

    There’s no way a girl did this. Violent scratches like that are nothing to be proud of, anyway. That means you suck, dude!

    I feel bad for Allegra, who I am very certain is, in fact, a cat, that “she” was tagged in this picture by the loser.

  91. It looks like he was carrying around his pet three-toed sloth once again with his shirt off.

  92. The direction and path of them says “fake”.

  93. Wow some of you commenters make it seem as if you a virgins. This is entirely possible and I for once believe this to be legit.

    I have scratched up my boyfriends back but not to this extent. I can see where she was holding on to his shoulders and slid down. and then right above the hip she just went straight down.

    It is utterly retarded to scratch someone like that from behind.

  94. The scratches are too parallel to have been down while rolling around and too light to have caused any real pain. Just a fake masochist looking to cause a ruckus. THIS is what a real masochist does. (SFW)
    http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs240.snc1/8721_156008470890_511970890_3913879_368370_n.jpg

  95. Speaking of down…

  96. @rayne2008: Were you courteous enough to completely avoid scratching over your boyfriend’s tattoo?

    The length gives it away, you can’t scratch from the top to the bottom and keep them parallel with wrist bones. The scratches should move toward each other with the rotation of the wrist to maintain contact. You could scratch for a distance, keeping the lines parallel, but there is a point where you would have to rotate your wrist or move your elbows out. They’re faked.

  97. I am calling fake as well. I have scratched up a back or two in my time and I know that at least some of those are not what they appear. I mean, the ones going down the centre of the back? Not a chance. They may have been having fun, but it’s not the kinda fun that he had implied.

  98. Brandon is a rubbish name. He should change it to Claude…

  99. leave my “Mom” tattoo alone, bitch

  100. his boyfriend gave him a rake handle in the butt then followed it with scratches on the back with the other end

  101. Douche for boasting on Facebook. Think I’ve ranted waaaay too much on that subject on Lamebook to bother doing it again.

  102. What a f**knut…and could that girl be MORE desperate to mark her territory. Hope they dont have kids..the mess will be horrific!

  103. Ah actually Bornunder its a skin condition that will prob b gone in like 10mins – u scratch urself and it comes up in a big red welt – he’s just having a joke lighten up!

  104. What a bitch! I’m talking about him.

  105. dropitlikeitsroomtemperature

    I watched a hentai like this once. Except the scratchee was a chick, and the scratcher was some kind of fly monster with two penises, and she was all ‘oh n0es this hurts’. It was hot. This, on the other hand, is not.

  106. fuck, I love hentai!

  107. O_O Oww….how…is that pleasurable?

  108. ElliefcknHardingx

    LMFAO.
    He must be good…

  109. Ouch!!

  110. That’s nothing. It’s a couple of welts, but I see no blood. Fuckin’ pussy :P

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