Monday, October 5, 2009

Baby Got Bud

Baby Got Bud

previous post: Have a Blowout Weekend

RELATED POSTS:


73 Comments

  1. I HATE pics of babies faux-drinking beer/alcohol! I always think – 30 years from now when that kid is an alcoholic, he can have that picture framed.

  2. By the fuck! Thats shocking.

  3. rubbish

  4. well that certainly won’t make his bubwiser.

  5. “LOL” …

  6. Gads, I hate pix like this. It’s not funny at all.

  7. LOL indeed

  8. Ah yes, Kim D, I can attest to your statement that an infant having an empty bottle in his mouth will undoubtedly turn into a raging alcoholic. You see, when I was 2, my Uncle Bubba would always give me the horse-piss leftover from his nights of raging alcoholism. On the first night it was just one or two sips, but by the third week of his 6-month bender I was drunk right along with him. We would yell at the TV, sing some of our favourites (You’re so vain) and rocked the shit out of Rush.
    Bubba and I got into a fight one night after I told him “Tom Sawyer” was the best Rush song, whereas he was more partial to “The Trees.” Bubba had smashed his bottle of bud over my 2-year-old head (which left an indent now used as a bird bath), though I was so wasted it didn’t even phase me. I grabbed my cigarette and singed his neck.
    Years passed since the incident, and me and Bubba had no contact since. I moved out, found a place on the east-end. All I needed was my crib and blankey. I avoided the sauce, but found my creative place by experimenting with marijuana. I turned my bottle into a baby-bong and started writing songs. As you can see, rhyming came naturally to me. Yes that one rhymed as well.

    By the time I was four, I had written enough songs to fill a record. I put out an ad for some band members, and once I found the sound I was looking for, we went into a recording studio and made our first album. Things took off, and within a year I had gotten the call of a lifetime. We had gotten a spot opening for Rush for their next tour. Apparently our song, — which I penned shortly after the whole Uncle Bubba fiasco — “The Firetruck is Red” had gotten the attention of many people in the industry.
    As I laid down my guitar solo, the part of the song through which I explain the fucked-upness from having my best friend smash a bottle over a babies noggin, I looked out into the crowd. The spotlight seemed to shine on him. I didn’t stop playing, as the music was part of me…but there he was. Uncle Bubba, smiling up at me — raising his Bud with one hand and giving me a thumbs up with the other.

  9. AnonisGay, you are so funny, this made my Monday lol

  10. Dude, that was a beautiful story.

    I would have cried if it was not for my increadible rage at the idea of a child with an empty bottle in his mouth. I hope some newspaper picks up on this and takes the child away from this supposed “loving” family and puts him in care where he can grow up without resentment.

  11. Big Wiggly Style

    That Baby’s future ain’t looking to good…

  12. Big Wiggly’s ability to tell the difference between “to” and “too” ain’t looking too good, either…

  13. Boobweiser.

  14. So wrong, on so many levels…

  15. Well done AnonisGay. Well done.

  16. A round of applause for AnonisGay. Legend!

  17. omg are u guys fucking retarded the kid isnt drinking any alcohol he jus has a bottle in his mouth fuckin retards its like puttin sunglasses on a kid or sum shit its jus a prop for a funny photo, ur all fuckin retarded, oh and anonisgay is a fag for that stupid long story

  18. Oh my God, you guys are fornicating slow! The infant isn’t drinking any alcohol, he simply has a bottle in his mouth! Fornicating slow people! It’s like putting sunglasses on a child or some fecal matter; it’s just a prop for a novelty photograph! You’re all fornicating slowly people. Oh, and AnonisGay is a homosexual for that inane banter.

  19. Wow. Seems like some of the people from recent posts have seeped out into our realm. Like Hellraiser, but with serious dickage. You would have thought LB’s raison d’etre would be enough to drive these numbnuts away… alas.

    HEY. SHAWTEE GOTTA HOLLA BAACK LOOK FREE BBQ OVA DERE LOLZ.

  20. Why are you anonomyzing a baby’s face?? They all look the same.

  21. AnonisGay FTW. (Was that apropos inane banter,perchance?)
    Regardless of the bottle containing ETOH or not,this is just fucking disturbing.Fornicating.Fornicating disturbing.

  22. lol, yeah, u r all fuckin retarded!!!… that ur kid in the picture ‘ur dumb’ or does it just remind u of that baby pic on ur mums mantle piece, ukno, u with the crack pipe?

  23. Meh, I have the same sorta photo of me when i was 6 camping with family and friends, was i drinking beer, no. I grew up not allowed to drink at home until i was 18, I grew up an alright guy. hahah its just a stupid picture, thats funny to the family, big deal.

  24. This is hardly a portrait of a child living through an unimaginable life of abuse.

    beer choice and camoflauged bib aside, the baby has a clean face AND the man holding the bottle has clean fingernails.

  25. I think you can divide people into two camps. Those who would find this sort of thing funny, and worthwhile human beings.

  26. How is babby formed?

  27. Aww and that is a cute baby too.

  28. i am a massive bender

  29. For the record, that was a different Jane up there who took the time to read another AnonisGay essay.
    I don’t use ‘lol’.
    No comment on this dodgy photo.

  30. I hope that kid is not planning to drive home.

  31. @ 25: yessum & agreed.

  32. @fakeAnonisGay if you hate AnonisGay so much why the fuck do you have to steal his name? wouldn’t it be far more logical to call yourself “AnonisGayisGay” because then atleast we could tell the difference between AnonisGay’s awesome stories and your drivle before actually having to read your shit.

    @AnonisGay good story. one of your best.

  33. Wow, AnonisGay, I think I will steal that story and turn it into one of my own. When it becomes a NYTimes bestseller, I will thank you, so much, for a story like that.

  34. I don’t care if there isn’t any alcohol in the bottle. This is sickening.

    I hope that after that baby grows up, Toni and any other people responsible for this photo trip in front of a speeding bus.

  35. Well the camo bib is certainly appropriate. This is awful.

  36. Big deal… anyone got a smoke?

  37. Dom could grow up and make thousands from Bud ads because he is the bud baby. people will see him and say “someone took a photo of that guy when he was a baby with a bud bottle in his mouth.” and of corse, people will recognie him because of the bud bottle in his mouth and camo bib. and he will forever be the bud baby.

  38. But probably not

  39. my stories are shit cus i have no life and probably spend roughly about 3 hours on them each time, does that make me attractive to girls? my mum said it does so i kiss her sometimes

  40. @Boz : I’d say three camps. Those that find this funny, those that find this offensive, and worthwhile human beings.

    It’s an empty bottle. It’s not funny, it’s just a bottle. It’s not offensive……. it’s just a bottle. If your baby plays with a mountain dew bottle, is that offensive? If a baby plays with a DVD of The Dark Knight, is THAT offensive? Afterall, they can’t watch that movie until they’re 17, due to the R-Rating.

    Still lame, simply because the ‘posters’ thought this was funny enough to share with the world. And because Budweiser sucks.

  41. Big Wiggly Style

    My apologies Pedant.

  42. I think we have to look at the real story here: Anon has some problems, he’s hurting inside, and this photo reminds him of that pain. Shame on that baby for making Anon think about going back to the bottle!

  43. oh my… this convo itself should be cut and paste right back onto lamebook. honestly, some of you are worse than the retards that make it onto this site.

  44. Mcowles

    How do you know the bottle is empty?

  45. I’m surprised no one has mentioned the lame hairstyle yet…

  46. I’m not a psychic, however I see CPS, “juvy,” child abuse, and a 12-step program….all in the future.

  47. Hmkay….kid isn’t actually drinking any alcohol….but think of it this way…wat kind of parent would do that to his son/daughter for a cheap giggle? I would unleash all hell on any of my baby cousins parents for doing such a thing. Simply because its unsafe to allow an infant to drink from a glass bottle, whether there be any liquid present or not, and even if it is supervised.

    And that pic is now on facebook, undoubtably when the child gets a little older and into their more curious years they’re gonna see that picture and think its okay to drink from stupidly young ages. Kudos to this kids parents, they’re blatantly setting a fine example.

    Pic is still lame. But for different reasons tbh.

  48. I should’ve taken a pic of the customer who was letting her one-year-old baby dip her soother into her beer mug, then suck it off, then dip it again. And again. Then she graduated to shoving her whole fist into mommy’s mug and sucking that off. Again. And again. And again. Then mommy just let her drink straight from the bottle as all that dipping was making such a mess.
    Then mommy ordered another beer. I’m fairly certain baby drank more of the beer than mommy did.
    Loser.

  49. They’re not just fornicating idiots for shoving the beer bottle in the kids mouth and taking a ‘hilarious’ photo, but for writing ‘Doms hittin the bottle LOL’.

    Morons.

  50. I am offended at this low quality beer. You’d think they’d at least give their kid a good microbrew.

  51. HE NIGGA LIPPED IT

  52. Nathan 'Fuckin B.I.G.' Slade-Oh

    Babies need beer so they won’t realise their mums a fucking skank

  53. That’s not even funny. Sure, the bottle is probably empty, but it’s still not funny.

  54. The really sad thing about this is that parents can get put into prison for taking a faked photo like this.. Even though it does absolutely no harm to the child in question. Fucking libtards

    If he really was letting the kid drink booze that would be a different thing. But its beyond obvious that it was staged.

  55. Libtards, Bob? You bitter republicans will find ANY excuse ANYWHERE to bash democrats. Asshole.

  56. “Libtards” wouldn’t be drinking Bud. Only redneck Republicans drink Bud. If the baby were sipping a glass of Chardonnay, then maybe you’d have a point.

  57. It isn’t funny. Not one bit. The bottle is either not open or empty, but the parents are morons to think that is it’s cute or funny to joke around about a BABY drinking.
    Fucked up parents, for sure.

  58. Seriously? You guys find this OFFENSIVE?

    I, and pretty much every one of my friends, has some photo like this. Mine happens to be fast asleep at a table at a wedding, parents/family put a few empty bottles beside one hand, and overflowing ashtray at the other (this was 25 years ago when smoking was allowed).

    Go through your parents’ old albums. I’d be willing to wager that the same style picture is there. I’m amazed at the overreaction here.

    Amz…clearly you have no children. My daughter drinks exclusively from glass bottles.

  59. GoodGrief OMG, shut up!

  60. Wow. You people overreact to everything. The parents should be hit by a bus for taking an obviously fake picture of their baby? That’s makes you at least 100 times worse than them.

  61. wont be surprised if he became an alcoholic later.. really wanna,will the parents still think its funny later

  62. This will not make him an alcoholic by doing this. I’m a direct result of this behavior and yes i drink but very rarely. To believe that this will make him an alcoholic you must have about the same brain power as the child in the photo. I think it’s more lame to post it than to do it. At least he is drinking beer i guess but it’s a pretty shit one.

  63. Chug Chug Chug Chug!!!!!

  64. the bottle is empty you stupid fu.cks. dont hate.

  65. the sad part is the bottle is empty, it’s not right to tease a baby like that

  66. Not funny. I’d keep an eye out on those people and see how they raise that baby.

  67. It’s one thing to place some empty bottles by a baby, it’s another to shove the bottle in it’s mouth for a “cute baby picture”.

  68. Those who posted this onto Lamebook had better report this kid’s parents!

  69. Not funny…guess that’s why it’s called Lamebook! The kid and parents will probably forget about this in a few years. But… Wouldn’t u get in trouble for putting this on fb? Haha jk

  70. The problem isn’t that we are stupid and think there is really alcohol in the bottle. The problem is, as the child gets older and mommy and daddy keep doing that, one day a bottle of beer will be actually full of beer and baby will think its o.k. to take the bottle and drink what is inside…If mommy and daddy have put milk or soda in it for this shot or any other time the baby will learn that what comes in a beer bottle is yummy and sweet. And therefore when he/she sees that bottle again will associate that yummy taste with the bottle not realizing its dangerous for them….next thing you know your baby is laying there lethargic and drunk and possibly poisoned.

  71. MadPenguin… what the fuck? Really… that’s mad powers of association, why would you fucking put milk in a beer bottle for that picture? The most sensible thing to do is actually to wash the bottle with water, rinse it until it has no alcohol and then take the pic. Which is probably what happened, either way we don’t know, but it sure as hell is more probable than what you said. What a load of crap, paranoia, oooooohhh beer and baby, Jesus weeps. Let people parent their own children the way they feel like, and trust they are doing so responsibly.

    PS: Soda, for a baby? Are you fucking insane?

  72. Not a big deal at all…totally innocent, cute even….lighten up ppl….get a sense of humor!
    ~ Boozysuzy :)

  73. You guys are freaking out way too much. The bottle doesn’t have alcohol in it. It’s fairly obvious, no one is going to make a baby chug beer and put it on facebook.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.