Monday, December 7, 2009

Animal Fights

animal-fights

previous post: NSFW: CACA Doodle Do

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100 Comments

  1. It took 5 tries to realize Lauren wasn’t saying “Animals should have rights to it’s crap”.

  2. phenomenal. FTW indeed!

  3. No representation without taxation.

  4. Even though I am certain that Fido could care less about grammar, I must say that I love Brian…

  5. And in my love-struck haze, I forgot to mention how much I love Sean as well… ; )

  6. Bonus points for getting “hear, hear” correct.

  7. What? She just used the word “pigs” to describe “abusive heartless bastards.” Great comparison. Pigs all over the world are doubting your affection right now.

  8. Brian and Sean, you are amazing! Picky in the face of displeasure and standing your ground. I salute you!

    Lauren, Candice, and Janine, it’s pretty hard for anyone to take a message seriously when the spelling, punctuation, and grammar all suck. Because I’m with AnonymousBastard. I thought Lauren was complaining that animals don’t get to crap or something. Not much of a message there.

  9. So she compares the abusers to “pigs;” I wonder how the pigs feel about that!

    She is already hating on the poor pigs!

  10. uhh too bad Brian still spelled criticize wrong..

  11. I REALLY want to point out that “criticise” is the correct spelling… in some countries.

    But Brian and Sean are too awesome and right.

  12. Brian and Sean spelt everything correctly.
    I’d turn gay for them, that was brilliant.
    Also, uhhyessuhhaustin, I think America are the only ones with a love of ‘z’ and hatred of ‘u’. Brian was bang on.

  13. I will so do both of them in one night!

  14. I know! I don’t know why, in the US, they replace almost every S for a Z… pretty soon I think we will just lose the S all together..

  15. An animal SHOULD have a right to its crap! We should ALL have rights to our crap! I would say that is THE most fundamental right of all living things.

    How does one pronounce the way she wrote “poor?”

  16. I don’t even get how she manages two of those ‘o’s. It’s such an effort to do all that alt+ crap. That might just be me though

  17. oh boy am i really getting into this? whew, here we go…Finn, “America are”!!!!!???????

  18. hmm my comment didn’t get posted :( sadness! lol

    I think what I said was that

    Brian and Sean are amazing! and I do that to people do but I’m kinda a grammar nazi :D

  19. I’m trying to figure out if she meant to put those accents there or not.. I can’t imagine why anyone would find them necessary, but it’s difficult to type something like that by accident, especially if she has a pc. The alt+ business is total crap indeed.

    @jukaswo – Yeah rights for crap! Lauren has a point there, maybe she’s friends with Fernanda from the previous post?

  20. SHIT it’s The Grammar police, CHEESE IT!

  21. What would be the correct word then? I appologise for any mistake I may have made, I’m only 5th form so I’m still technically learning

  22. Maybe animals should have rights to their crap no matter how sick people are. Farmers are always taking it away to spread on their fields.
    How dare Sean and Brian critiziSe these noble women, all barns and stables should be left umkempt and filled with the shit of their animal occupants.
    Oh wait did I completely miss what the fuck she was talking about?
    I guess it’s because spelling and grammar are vitally important when conveying your intentions about an important matter. I guess if you consider no matter of any importance it matters not how well you know your first language.

  23. I just re-read it. Animals should have rights TOO. It’s crap… That bit was confusing the hell outta me.

  24. no apology necessary. im just amused when people who are correcting others’ english make mistakes themselves. also you may have kinda taken a shot at americans (which was probably the word you were looking for). no offense taken here, and hopefully none there either

  25. Ah gotcha. I have an odd hatred for America and what it stands for, just really dislike the general populace. Pet hate, indulge me.

  26. Grammar FTW!

  27. Sean, I despise you for submitting this.
    I don’t care if you can spell correctly, and know proper grammar.
    You’re still a douche.
    IMO you waited for an opportunity to give someone an English lesson via facebook, just so you could post it to lamebook.
    You’re lame.

  28. I wish I was cool enough to submit some witty comment I made to lamebook.

    Shucks.

  29. Perhaps a digression, but I loathe the use of ‘spelled’ over ‘spelt’. It just seems so graceless and clumsy to me.

    Kind of like the current literary obsession with using ‘lighted’ over ‘lit’. It just seems a little ugly in comparison. Wouldn’t one still say ‘I ‘lit’ the fire’ as opposed to ‘I ‘lighted’ the fire’? Apparently not.

    Pssshh. I don’t know. Retentive? Perhaps. Just sayin’.

  30. Someone should just smack these girls for their douche-y defense of incoherent English.
    Girls, you could make a POSITIVE DIFFERENCE by shutting the hell up until you learn how to WRITE!!

  31. Dang it…American is a typo, should of been America

  32. It always makes me laugh when someone like Sean submits something along these lines. He clearly thinks he looks rather clever, when really he’s just outing himself as an enormous ass to the entire internet. Excellent.

  33. @31 it’s “should have” not “should of.”

  34. Hahaha! This is great!

    Brian and Sean FTW!

  35. hey why is she discriminating against pigs?! they can be poor innocent animals too!

  36. Brian and Sean come across as try-hard douches.

  37. Janine also meant to use “it’s”, which means “it is” rather than “its”, which is the possessive form. Just sayin’.

  38. Yep, that’s what I was sayin’.

  39. @dinosgorawr: I’ve got to say that you made a grammatical error in the post where you claim to be a grammar nazi.

    You said:
    “Brian and Sean are amazing! and I do that to people do but I’m kinda a grammar nazi :D

    *it should read “I do that to people too”

  40. I hate pigs, but I pity them right now. Are Brian and Sean on lamebook? They could join the ranks of grammar nazis.

  41. Just pointing out that she spelled the word CRITISIZE which is incorrect in every country. These look to be Brits or Canadians due to the corrected spelling of CRITICISE. Which is correct in some.

    Finn, I hope by the time you reach the 6th form you will have learnt that having a “pet hate” or any kind of hate toward anybody, especially an entire country is no way to go through life.

  42. I registered just so I could say that Sean and Brian are lame. That is all.

  43. I registered today to say that has anyone noticed that it should be ‘You spelt critise wrong’ not spelled!

    What does ‘animals should have rights to its crap’ mean anyway?

  44. @Mr Impeccable –

    actually, both ‘spelled’ and ‘spelt’ are equally correct. It depends where you come from.

    And I believe they meant ‘Animals should have rights too, it’s crap.’
    But animals having rights to their crap is funnier…

  45. If u see da gramma police, than warn a brother!

  46. @Mr. Impeccable- Actually, it should be “criticize (or criticise).” “Critise” is not a word. And no, no one noticed that because there’s nothing wrong with “spelled.”

    Hating on American English sure is popular around here. We just prefer not to put t’s on the ends our verbs, or u’s next to all of our o’s, and let’s face it, z is a delightful and seriously underused letter, we’re just trying to keep it alive.

  47. And since someone will probably point it out, yes I accidentally left out of word ‘of’ in my 5th sentence :)

  48. And I made another mistake. Fuck this, I’m going to bed now.

  49. I legitimately thought she was upset that pigs don’t have the right to poop.

  50. hahaha brian and sean’s 2nd comments are just class =)

  51. I was belly laughing over this one! Agree with #50: Class.

  52. sean and brian FTW!

  53. i wanna move to a country where it’s allowed to be married to two men at a time and spend the rest of my life with brian and sean.

  54. #46, 47 & 48
    Gotta love Mittens!

  55. Amazing how poor grammar, punctuation and spelling can actually detract from a point of view that all of the civilised world support (who is for animal-cruelty?). Lauren – the more that you bang on, the more animals will be abused.

    I want to be like Sean and Brian when I learn how to spell and punctuate.

  56. Animals do have rights! They have the right to taste good! Is that not enough?

  57. @ Insane and mittens

    Fuck it, can I marry you both? Wait, that’s probably illegal…

    Digressing a little, has anybody gone to the 1,170,000 group members for a wife Facebook page lately?

  58. Really pathetic of Sean to be a cocky twat on somebody’s status, just to publish it on lamebook!
    Maybe you should try filling your days with something more productive!

  59. #41, Dina, “criticize” is correct in Canada, thus that spelling is obviously not “incorrect in every country”. Your post doesn’t even make sense.

    And yeah, #58, it looks like Sean submitted this. That is a tried and true method of illustrating your own douchebaggery – submitting one of your own jokes to Lamebook. Way to go.

  60. to Bucky Fellini – Dina said that “CRITISIZE” was wrong in every country, which it is (at least the English speaking ones I don’t know enough foreign languages to know otherwise)
    “Criticize” is favoured by North America while us Brits like to soften our words and replace zeds with esses “Criticise”.
    Now I’ve written it so many times I’m starting to wonder if it’s a word at all
    I like the decription of the letter z as a delightful letter. It makes it all sound so cute
    Also I am one of the people who thought Lauren felt that animals should have a right to their own crap

  61. Roxy,

    Ah. Makes sense now, spanks. I also noticed you Brits like to spell ‘program’ as ‘programme’. I actually like your version better – it sounds more official and important. You want to trade a ‘z’ for a ‘me’?

  62. welcome 42..you’re lame. wonderful use of grammar, spelling and punctuation though.

  63. What does Lauren have against plants? That’s what I want to know. They don’t have hearts, but they breathe and they react to their environment. Can they get someone to fight for their rights as well? It’s not easy being green.

    And Finn, I’m sorry to learn that you hate me and all that I stand for. I didn’t realize that you knew anything about me. I guess the country I was born in is all you need to know, though. Sucks for me. Hope that approach to life works out for you, but I’ve got to say, it sounds a bit unfair. You could at least try to find out what color my skin is or something. I’m not one of those damned plants, so I’ve got that going for me. At least I know Lauren’s on my side.

  64. That was possibly the greatest post I’ve seen, Brian’s my new idol.

  65. i don’t understand these people who care so much about proper grammar. if its somethings legit like an essay or article then obviously you wanna have good grammar.. but posts on shit like facebook and LAMEBOOK??? gimme a fuckin break… who cares

  66. something legit.. haha

  67. To all the people saying Brian is your new idol etc etc.
    Brian is just as thick as Janine. Janine SPELT criticise wrong not SPELLED!

  68. Sean did it aswell, why is everyone praising their greatness when they are not even grammatically correct?

  69. Okay, I guess I forgot to put much emphasis on WHY he’s my idol:) He’s my idol BECAUSE he spelled things wrong while criticizing people for spelling incorrections. People that do that make me laugh. You should check the Lamebook posting that is called Poorposal. It’s hilarious for that very reason.

  70. Sorry, I understand what you mean now I didn’t read above much. However he’s your idol because he SPELT things wrong!!

  71. … Is that a question? Sorry, I have a hard time understanding your meaning without the proper punctuation… :)

  72. Grammar nazis have to be the biggest douches in the world.

  73. @MNic: I just LOLled!

  74. @Smee, second only to overbearing animal rights activists. ;)

  75. If you are trying to argue a controversial point you should express it in a coherent manner so you and your group don’t appear retarded. Why would I want to be associated with a group who is clearly less educated than I am? Lauren is doing a disservice to animal rights activists and Sean and Brian are just helping her. What if she wrote her little rant on a sign and went out in public with it? Don’t you think she would be pleased that they corrected her before she made it out the door?

  76. @Kracken Skulls

    While I find spelling errors careless and tiresome, I believe there is something a bit more to education than proper grammar, which is one of the most occult and arbitrary relations humans use on a daily basis. Your attempt at a status gain through your excellence in a certain form of rule-following reveals your limited view of education; and that, I am afraid, might reflect on how educated I deem you. Boo!

  77. FlapjacksAreAmazing

    Although I like the message, I am with the lads on the spelling, punctuation and grammar.

    @JPow3
    They would be third to the “pigs” out there

  78. Honestly, give Americans a little slack, the words they use “z” in all have the “z” sound. It’s not like they’re just throwing “z” around all willy nilly.

  79. @68, Sean was grammatically correct. There is a difference between grammatical errors and spelling errors, all he did was use a generally accepted (American) form of ‘spelt’. So there.

  80. In the USA, “spelt” is an alternative to wheat, like rye and quinoa. I’ve heard that when Brits say “corn” they mean wheat.

  81. Moki, ‘corn’ in the UK is a generic word used to refer to a whole range of grass based crops, wheat/barley/oats etc.

  82. Speaking of corn, I think it’s time for Farmville

  83. WallOfMountingStuff

    Grammarians and human spell checkers, can there be a lamer breed of pseudo-intellectuals? Look at corporate memos, advertising, subtitles on DVDs, and so on. Grammar is not always 100% accurate. It’s sad, but it’s true. Even smart people make trivial mistakes. All that matters is that you’re within an acceptable limit of comprehension. People who go around correcting grammar and typos/spelling, especially in laid back situations like Facebook or on Instant Messaging apps, are usually snobs who are doing it to make up for their other shortcomings. They need to feel smart because they’re not completely confident that they are. They get good grades in English, perhaps, but maybe people make them feel stupid in genuinely difficult subjects like physics or calculus. Poor little things.

  84. @WallOfMountingStuff “Poor little things.” is a fragment.

  85. insert clever name here

    rebelxwaltz FTW!

  86. Wow, Finn, really? Firstly, the US has over 300 million people, to say we “stand” for something is generally quite a stretch. We stand, if anything, for our system of government and our legal systems, but those were largely imported from the UK and philosophies developed in France and Germany, so you’d have to hate all of the above by extension. Secondly, the “ize” ending is actually favored by the Oxford Dictionary (yes, the UK spelling Bible) and is used throughout English speaking countries. The “ise” ending was actually created by aristocratic Francophones in Britain after the establishment of the US and, with the exception of a few irregular words, has no real basis besides usage thereafter (which is good enough in English, actually, as we’re usage and dictionary based, having no central language authority, such as in France). Ditto on adding the “u” to certain words in British English. This started earlier, however, as pre-US writings show that the “u” was dropped and added irregularly before Webster standardized the American spelling without. Even today, you’ll note that, while American spelling is standardized, UK English will write “humour,” but “humorous.” Also, “spelt” is generally considered improper and sounds quite ignorant to the North American ear, though either spelt or spelled is accepted by UK and North American dictionaries. I’d suggest brushing up on your own grammatical and linguistic history before ejaculating your misguided patriotism all over this board.

  87. No language is perfect, the Engish language is far from perfect. There are discrepencies all over the place that we could go on about for hours and hours. I have better things to do though. Like finding #86 and asking for his hand in marriage.

  88. Sean and Brian are my fucking heroes.

  89. Kinda wish I was part of this so I could say to Brian and Sean,
    “You spelt “spelt” wrong!”

  90. —-Kinda wish I was part of this so I could say to Brian and Sean,
    “You spelt “spelt” wrong!”—-

    Actually ‘spelled’ is perfectly valid too.

  91. The our-or debate is pointless but this is the deal in a very brief nutshell.

    The difference between “our” and “or” comes from pronunciation in American English. “Our” was (and still is in many respects) used to emphasis the ending, whereas “or” suggests a short emphasis or lack of. In French, they tend to stress the ending of words, such as colour.

    Colour comes from the French word couleur – where the “leur” sound suggests a long emphasis (say colour in a French accent, and you get the idea).

    In America, they tend to say colour with no emphasis at the end, the same with Neighbour (and therefore neighbourhood).

    In British English, ‘or’ endings are favoured in words such as Governor, where you do not place emphasis on the end.

    In Olde English, ‘or’ endings were very common, as the letters ‘u’ and ‘v’ technically did not exist – they were the same letter. ‘v’ was used at the beginning of the word, e.g. Upon to Vpon, and ‘u’ in the middle, e.g. have would be written ‘haue’.

    But during the Norman Conquest (1066), French influence on the language began (again), and ‘our’ became regular – because it was only the aristocracy or learned who would learn to read and write and at this time, the French were everywhere in Britain on the top chains. In the middle ages the letters ‘u’ and ‘v’ were separated for usage.

    So technically neither is right or wrong. I speak and write British-English, and so prefer colour to color. The U.S. do tend to shorten their words, and leave away from traditionally (or old fashioned) spellings – a bad example is paedophile vs. pedophile. The former is the traditional spelling derived from Greek which used in British-English and pedophile is the more phonetic used in American-English, same with dreamnt and dreamed, spelt and spelled.

    This also goes for ‘re’ vs ‘er’ debate. In British English, ‘re’ and ‘er’ are completely different suffixes with different uses (theatre vs. mother) where as in American English, ‘re’ is rarely seen, and the ‘er’ takes dominance for both suffixes.

    As for ‘ize’ and ‘ise’ – well this isn’t about aristocratic Francophones. It’s actually much the same case as ‘re’ vs ‘er’. The ‘ise’ and ‘ize’ were (traditionally) two different suffixes with similar meanings. ‘ise’ tends to come from French or Latin derived words, while ‘ize’ comes from Greek derivations. ‘ize’ and ‘ise’ isn’t interchangeable on few words, such as ‘size’ and ‘capsize’ (the capsise will be of big sise if you spell like this), and ‘exercise’ and ‘merchandise’ (you might want to exercize your wallet if you spell like this, on some spelling merchandize).

    Eventually, the two became interchangeable on most words – and not just in the American-English spellings. However, ‘ise’ does tend to take priority in British-English, but it was never about rebellion against the Americans using English their way.

    The British-English speakers will call it bad spelling and ‘simplifying’, but the American-English speakers will call it “Modern”. But the fact is English is all basically foreign anyway, so the rules and regulations are blurred. It’s a case of going with what’s on the curriculum and sticking to it. In both instances, dictionaries will argue which is correct. Best leave Oxford and all that lot to do their thing and argue. As long as you can read it and it isn’t all written without vowels (bcz tht’s so fkin annyng!) who gives a damn.

    This is all because I’m studying to become an English teacher. Wow. And this is how I’m putting my education to good use. I think I might go now. I’ve got a lot to think about.

    P.S. Johnjohn –
    * Oxford Dictionary tends to favoure ise in it’s newer publications such as ‘Modern English’.
    * I was always taught ‘humourous’, and so were most of the people I know. Very rarely is ‘humorous’ used in Britain, but I’m not sure about in other international “British-English” speaking countries.

  92. @ 91: I applaud you. And by applaud, I mean love.

    God, good grammar turns me on.

  93. @91: Bravo for the knowledge! I believe I speak for most on here when I say “Thanks! I didn’t know that. What a remarkable thing to learn on Lamebook where the giggles roll”!

    “…and don’t be a message hog using all up all of my tape!”

  94. Oh, oh, win, good God, that’s a win. Ladies, you’ve been pwned.

  95. Wow all of them are morons.
    Spelling Nazri’s are Little nerd boys who have no friends and live in their mom’s basement.
    And people who whine about animal right instead of doing something about it are douchebags.

  96. You spelled Nazi’s wrong.

  97. @Pauliis and metalcraze

    It’s Nazis, not Nazi’s.

  98. You are right! Didn’t quite catch on that one =)

  99. RecklessDrummer

    PEOPLE NEED TO READ OTHER COMMENTS BEFORE POSTING TO CORRECT SOMETHING!!! I’ve read the same couple of conversations like 5 times–sometimes people bring up new funny material, but the rest is boring and tiresome to read. “CRITICISE” and “CRITICIZE” are both “correct,” as well as “SPELLED” and “SPELT;” IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT COUNTRY YOU’RE FROM!!! (In fact, I was going to say how funny I thought it was that Brian spelled criticise wrong, but then I read a little and became a little more educated! ;)

    Anyway, Noobie on comment #22–your post was hilarious! I thought it was even funnier than the Brian and Sean thing, and your sarcasm couldn’t have made your point any more crystal clear. Everyone needs to go read that, lol! And that’s why I read these comments (sometimes). ;D

  100. RecklessDrummer

    P.S.–100th comment is mine! :D

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