Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Ancestral Awkwardness

previous post: In It to Win It

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29 Comments

  1. smokecrack0fuckchickens

    Salman is a person’s name?

  2. I can’t believe the third one actually spelt those words properly, maybe there is some hope for spelling.

  3. Salman Rushdie

  4. Eric is fucking lame. That is a quote from Half Baked when Thurogood is selling to Willie Nelson. Not even lame in the funny sense, just lame.

    If my daughter pissed on a Twilight book I would high five her and buy her some ice cream. I need to take my daughter to the library more often!

    And finally, who leaves a child young enough to need help bathing alone in the bathtub? Gene pool cleansing needs to become a reality on the quick like. Pretty funny that this dude thought poop was a baked potato, what a tard.

  5. Yep Regis, your kid magically baked a potato in the tub. Little Celina must be the love child of Jesus and Rachel Ray.

  6. I think it’s pretty obvious he didn’t ACTUALLY think it was a baked potato, he’s just saying that to emphasize how huge this turd was.

    Unless that’s just my dwindling faith in humanity speaking.

  7. @smoke

    Salman is a very common Indian name.

  8. If she can say “Daddy my butt hurts” and then “here, my butt don’t hurt no more” and knows what all that means… She’s old enough to leave long enough to get a cup. She may not be able to wash her hair on her own, but she can probably survive for 30 seconds without drowning. It’s not like she’s an infant who can’t hold up her own head.

    Alternately, if she can shit out a potato, she’s probably old enough.

  9. If she’s old enough for all of that she knows well enough to get her ass out of the tub too.

    And as to the disgusting little brat that pissed on the books, hell yeah I’d punish him! Regardless of it it’s great literary works or complete garbage, they are still books. You all bitch about how humanity can’t spell or use proper grammar, well part of the problem is that no one picks up a book to read any more.
    It’s all computers and video games.
    There has to be a balance.
    Edimicashun cums beefour plaein!

  10. Preach it Jak. All that.

  11. all i have to say is grandpa ftw.

  12. Hm, I usually just say “happy anniversary of your forceful expulsion from your mother’s uterus”, or something like that.

  13. I think I love you Jak.

  14. @ bumpit and JakShite – actually a bathtub is a fucked up place for adults far less a kid. She can easily slip and unlike an adult she won’t know not to gasp if her head goes under even a couple of inches. He’s a idiot for leaving his kid in the bath.

  15. oh and I’m hating Mazda right now

  16. @Jak Are you operated by the same person who was Dan_Fargis and now trolling a different viewpoint?

    Anyway, this was a fairly enjoyable post

  17. seeing as this is the internet, and one cannot expect to find the best representation of humanity, I was thinking something way off the mark when a grown man- Regis- is talking about a naked little girl’s butt hurting. Thanks god it was only a turd!

  18. i would agree, jak, but i’m fairly certain that twilight isn’t going to educate anyone. it’s a crappy series which i understand is written very crappily by a crappy writer. it wastes space which could easily be used to house books that would actually benefit society.

  19. This totally belongs on STFU, Parents! http://www.stfuparents.tumblr.com

  20. sycorax-love me, hate me it’s all good.

    ddtl-Nope. Just someone that pops up from time to time to spew my opinion. I read many of the LB posts. I’m usually just to lazy to log in and respond.

    A book is a book and little boys that pee every where are nasty little turds that should be taught better. Never mind the shelves, the carpeting, the staff that has to clean it up. People and their lack of discipline with their kids piss me off.

    lamebookpro-Well, I took many baths as a child and I never slipped. However, yeah, he could have just run the faucet over her head to rinse it off. But I wonder as to his lack of concern over his kids butt hurting in the first place.

  21. I always keep my baked spuds in the bath- we share a brush.

  22. Ugh, I walked in on my Grandparents having sex once. It was not pretty. Hips were being displaced, the dog was terrified, fruit was flying… I was pissed they broke my kitchen table. It ended five hours later with Grandpa in the ER from Priapism. Oh and this was for Thanksgiving dinner no less! Real Talk.

  23. Re:JakShite While you do have a valid point, I would also like to point out the fact you still need to know how to read to be able to properly use the internet.

  24. Had to register with this site soley to point out – Eric (or his grandpa) stole that line straight out of “Half Baked” with Dave Chapelle. Willie Nelson guests as a “Historian Smoker” and has that exact conversation.
    Take it off lamebook and try and get this site back to its original format of fails and amusement, not plagarised work in an attempt to get posted on here.
    Mugs

  25. @ mdiz. So you registered to point out something which was known to all since #4? Wow, you must have a really slow day at work.

  26. @buckle_up. Yes, very slow… Apologies @eusadnama for unwittingly and hippocritically plagarising your comments… I feel like quite the fool. However, Eric is still a mug. I’m standing by that

  27. I’d be ‘pissed’ the kid pee’d on those books but twilight was just forced on me by women twice my age and they are so crap I need cleansed by fire.

  28. Since I work in a library, I have two things to say about the piss-on-vampires episode: 1. I can’t speak for all libraries, but the 8 libraries in my system all put Twilight in the adult section, so this person’s child must have peed on something less recognizable (and, dare I say, better written! But honestly there are tons of books in your very own library that are, in fact, of much lesser quality than Twilight. It’s true.). And 2. How long was the parent not paying attention for the kid to free his winky and take aim? We had a kid take a poo in the picture books section once and the parent took the child and left without saying a word to anyone. You’d think parents who value literacy might also not allow their kids to pull their pants down in public places, but noooo….

  29. I see the kid as one day playing ‘drunk or a kid’ with this story.

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