Tuesday, September 1, 2009



previous post: 0% Accurate



  1. My baby can crawl… aaaaaahhhh !!!

  2. So the baby got two teeth between 1:52 pm and 2:59 pm? Holy crap…


  4. Is AllGrownUp the name of her new band or something? If so, weird promotion.

  5. So. Jacob Two-Two had a lost twin sister, and she’s desperate for attention. How quaint.

  6. What the HELL??? I literally want to slap her.

  7. im having your baby

    I would have clicked “Hide Kristin” along time ago. Especially because the damn baby was probably a mistake.

  8. WHO THE EFFF CARES! So was this nothing but her status for two years?

  9. The record’s stuck the record’s stuck the rec ahhhhh gawd.

    Server problem’s maybe?

  10. I agree with Sarah.

    For some reason this entry pisses me off.

  11. Turn off the computer!!! Just for a little while. Watch the kid without one eye on the screen.

  12. Wow… that’s obnoxious.

  13. Im having your baby, harsh, but oh so true! I love it!

  14. She seems like she wants her status to be on the top all the time because she updates with the same exact thing hours or minutes later without anyone even commenting on it – also, all the comments except the first one are incredibly stupid and weird to say in response to her statuses.

  15. What kind of idiot thinks that the rest of the world wants to hear about your kid several times a day? This belongs on STFUParents!

    And the AllGrownUp thing…wtf??

  16. I want to put my balls in her mouth.

  17. “Damn time flys”

    Is she talking about those damn time-flies? What have those flying menaces done this time?
    I’m confused.

  18. This does sound like the intro to a rap track. Specifically a track describing the morning after a particularly epic night of alcohol-induced insobriety.

  19. Six months old, and I bet that baby can still fit in the microwave.

  20. I hope she will tell us when she catches him jerking off, when he first takes drugs and when he tells her he hates her and wishes she was dead.

  21. Sarah: I feel the same way.

    Mr. Toad: I am still laughing about your post. If you can just keep her hands busy while you’re doing that so she doesn’t update her status again.

    If her baby is so grown he would be beating her for these posts.

  22. He goes from 6 months to 2 years and back to 6 months? Or did I miss something? Can’t be fucked to read it again, that’s for sure.

  23. What I wanna know is how old is her baby? and how many teeth does he have?

  24. ha this is hilarious! i actually know this girl, and this is calm.. she normally re posts every 20 minutes. and to clarify, her baby is 6 months, and she has been with her boyfriend for 2 years.

  25. Marlena:”… well I hoe that you are doing alright…”

    I hope that that “hoe” was on purpose ;)

  26. Please comment on my update. Please comment on my update. Please comment on my update. Please comment on my update.

  27. Thank you for the hilarious comments! Reading this post made me want to punch her, but the comments have calmed me down!

  28. Somebody please acknowledge me.

  29. @ 24 – omigod she’s pathetic!!!

  30. I just want to find this person and tell her to shut the fuck up already! Nobody cares about her stupid baby.

  31. Hello??

  32. I see what you did there, humperdinck.

  33. i would throw her off my list after that

  34. I hoe her computer crashes up! Good riddance to bad rubbish at 1 day.

  35. I submitted her, but I should have waited so you guys could have seen it get even worse. She has updated like 15 times in the last 24 hours about a purse party she is having tonight. Anyone want to go? Hell No.

  36. Besides the fact that she is possibly the most annoying person on Facebook (at least all these other losers only post their crap once)…

    Since when is 6 months old all grown up?

  37. To the pain, humperdinck. Now STFU.

  38. No, you can’t leave him alone while you go to the club. 6 months is NOT all grown up.

  39. BP and dmld – how do you know her? Is she this annoying in person?

  40. Get a hobby.

  41. My baby can cash his own welfare check! AllGrownUp!

  42. My baby is on meth! AllGrownUp!

  43. My baby lost his last two teeth! AllGrownUp!

  44. @bp WTF is a purse party?

  45. you think she’s the type who likes repeating things over and over again?

  46. @humperdinck I’m acknowledging you

  47. Thank you Rebecca, was wondering that too. Purse = vag maybe?

    Well she is sitting on a gold mine…

  48. Arf The Crime Dog


  49. Does her status spontaneously update itself like some weird case of Tourette’s or does she really think everyone missed it the first 87 times she announced it??

  50. So uuhhmm, yeah. I think everyone has a facebook friend like this. AllGrownUp!

  51. facebook abuse. destroy.

  52. I’m not certain on the definition of a purse party. I would assume it’s much like an Avon or Mary-Kay party where there are a bunch of products (purses in this case) and a presenter that presents the items. The presenter gets commission on the sales and the person hosting the party gets discounts on select items. That would be my guess at least.
    And, I can’t make a fair comment on if she is that annoying in person. I don’t know her too well at all.

  53. This is EPIC.

    I’m going to have “AllGrownUp!” stuck in my head for days, if not weeks.

  54. This was staged…..it went from 6 months to 2 years in a couple hours….fake

  55. Billy Wilders Dead Monkey



  57. Unfortunately I was able to understand the 2 year comment she made. The 2 years was referring to how long she’s been with her bf/babys daddy. Baby is still 6 months but the guy has been 2 yrs.

  58. wow, just wow. i’m all up for hearing about my friends’ kids’ milestones on a status, but this is ridiculous!!! talk about spamming for attention!

  59. If they are interested what you’re up to, they will let you know. Until then, just shut the fuck up.

  60. That baby doesn’t stand a chance.

  61. My baby can crawl and sit up all by himself! And he has two teeth! And he is 6 months old! AllGrownUp!

  62. My baby can crawl and sit up all by himself! And he has two teeth! And he is 6 months old! AllGrownUp!!

  63. My fetus can blink and float all by himself! And he has an amniotic sack! And he is -6 months old! AllGrownUp!

  64. #51


  65. This is an iphone thing. Mine does it too. If you accidentally tap something it updates your status, and there isnt an option to delete it. She’s obviously at work and using an iphone and accidentally reposting her status and can’t fix it.
    Pretty embarassing though.

  66. omg master chief.. that last comment.. laughed so hard, i almost barfed. :D

  67. How many times does she have to post it?

  68. How many times does she have to post it?

    Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that! – well there goes my attempt at humour.

  69. 65 – She does this intentionally as she has admitted when asked. She wants “everyone” to see it, just in case they missed it the first 10 times she posted it. :)

  70. you should not be breeding..

  71. So how old is the baby?

  72. This actually makes perfect sense. She had a multiple birth- 10 kids at once, also known as decaplets.

  73. I wonder if Kristin’s baby can crawl already… it’s not like she tells us about it…

  74. how many teeth does that baby have?

  75. The ‘AllGrownUp!’ is possibly the autosignature on her text messages.

  76. She deleted her friend’s “you’re at work” comment. LMAO.

    Mom just got fired! AllGrownUp!

  77. Does anyone know if that goddamned kid is selling weed yet?

  78. My baby can crawl and sit up and he has two teeth. And he’s 17 years old today! AllGrownUp.

    …sad sad pathethic.

  79. I think she’s talking about her boyfriend here..

  80. i think her facebook is broken… that or she is the saddest person in the history of people.

  81. @19


    I don’t like it when my beer comes out through my nose onto the monitor.

    Please limit your hilarity to just ‘gut-busting.’

  82. Miss Bluetoothpaste

    I had a ‘friend’ doing pointless benign updates such as this. Know what I did?? I deleted that baby updating bore. Best move I ever made (on Facebook…).


  83. OMG I would really like to take her phone and smack her in the face with it!

  84. Poor kid

  85. Kevin, you (and several others) misunderstood the post. She just stopped talking about her 6-month-old baby for awhile, the 2 years is referring to her boyfriend = two years together. This has been mentioned here earlier, if you’d just read some of the comments.

    “I know ur at work lol” is one of the weirdest comments ever. It has nothing to do with the post. And Marlena, please, if you want to know how she’s doing, write a private message or scribble on her wall. Misuse of the comments is one of my pet peeves.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.