Thursday, September 17, 2009

Ah Sookie Sookie

Ah Sookie Sookie

previous post: Jinxed

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54 Comments

  1. How do you confuse “yet” with “let”?

  2. I walked on the set and said hello to the director. He shook my hand with a smile and introduced himself. Tom was his name. I remember he had a nice firm handshake, the kind that makes you think about his firm penis while he shakes your hand up and down. Too bad he was only the director.
    I walked on the set and introduced myself to all the characters. Checking out the set, I noticed there were pictures on the wall. Family pictures, ones of kids on vacation, growing up, the kind that make you long for being ‘normal’ as your father would call it.
    “Why can’t you be the son I always wanted” he would ask, as he finished the last of his beer, moving onto a new one.
    “Why can’t you be like your old man and enjoy the touch of a woman, instead of having your shit shoved by your Uncle Mcowles?”

    I never asked him why he was fine with Uncle Mcowles desire to stick his schlong in his only son, but for some reason the fact that I liked it really made him mad. I didn’t care. I stood there with my erect penis in hand, jerking it while he berated me with words. Part of me liked it. Part of me enjoyed knowing this angered him.
    “You know your Uncle Mcowles has aids, right?”
    I knew…because I had it too.
    “You know what I think of aids, right?”
    I nodded.
    “It’s funny,” he said.
    I told him it wasn’t a joke, and that’s when little sister came in. She told me to stop jerking off in the living room. I said I would stop once dad stops drinking. He threw the bottle at me, luckily I caught it in one hand; but at this point I was upset.
    “You want to see what Uncle Mcowles does?” — at which point I went over to the gas fireplace, turned it on, and bent over on the mantle. I held the bottle by the neck and inserted it all the way. He laughed while I smiled. It was just another tuesday night, after all. Uncle Mcowles was on his way over to play poker, but he promised he would use the chips to ‘loosen up’ so we could have our own fun after the game.
    I always knew Uncle Mcowles was a weird one, even without the aids–there was something about another man he could not resist, especially his brothers son.

  3. Is Tryphosa her birth control? But posting that as her status, how ammature.

  4. Sex is a grave matter.

  5. @Anonisgay

    You crack me up, so annoying but so funny.

    On another note…True Blood FTW!!! When I saw the title of this I was so proud of admin.

    And lastly, this girl is gross in every sense of the word

  6. What in the hell is a “Tryphosa?”

  7. Dude you’re just an ammature if you don’t know what Tryphosa is….(I have no idea either)

  8. does anybody else not see the last part of the picture? its gray

  9. Betsy pretty much says it all with the last comment.

  10. Team Betsy.

  11. Hah, I’m pretty sure there’s only one Tryphosa on Facebook. That name is lamer than the post. Now I count and wait to see everyone who types in Tryphosa and looks for Ashley.

  12. Haha, the title is a True Blood reference!

  13. @AnonisGay

    You crack me up! So annoying.

  14. I guess necrophiliacs have facebooks too.

  15. Exactly what i was thinking Betsy!!

  16. Tryphosa?

  17. Kansas girls sure are strange.

  18. But I think BETSY MAY have SENT the coolest message.

  19. I say.. round em all up and send them to Afghanistan where they could do something useful…

    like blow themselves up.

  20. My retarded what? Do I own something retarded? Ohhh, you mean “you’re retarded”. So who is the retarded one?

    Grammarman!
    Righting writing’s wrongs.

  21. LMAO @ Tryphosa! She needs to Trade Mark her name before it is taken up by a herbal medicine designed to curb premature ejaculation.

  22. BTW Ashley, Score!

  23. @Grammarman EPIC FAIL!!!

    Are you actively serious!? That is the whole point. OMG! You truly are retarded.
    Are you new to Lamebook? Every other complaint on here is about how annoying it is when people write “their” instead of “they’re” or “your” instead of “you’re”.

    Holy crap my head hurts now. Way to fuck up my night ass clown!

  24. Yes, I’m new to Lamebook, but I think I get it now.

    If we act exactly like stupid people, with no hint that we are being sarcastic, everyone will know that we are not stupid. We will know exactly who all the idiots are, because they will be the ones who write “your”, and we will know exactly who the smart people are, because they will all be writing “your” while SECRETLY THINKING “you’re”. Sheer brilliance, your retarded [sic].

    I think you just fucked up and felt stupid, so you had to go on the attack. I’m glad your fucking head hurts, particularly as you are one of those spastics who feel the need to use three consecutive explanation marks. I hope it’s a fucking tumor.

    Thanks for the warm welcome.

    PS What’s the difference between being actively serious and passively serious?

  25. Haha, Grammarman FTW!

    If you are a smart guy who acts like a tard, you’ve gotta expect people to think you’re one of the tards, dude.

  26. Wow Grammarman. What can I say? That was brilliant.

  27. Yeh, except I just noticed I wrote “explanation marks” instead of “exclamation marks” and now I do feel retarded. Haha ;)

  28. @Grammarman
    The sad thing is using “your retarded” as a joke isn’t even new or clever. There are 5 billion t-shirts out there that have that screen printed on them. Still though, you are brilliant. Now you can go play Dungeons and Dragons in your mum’s basement this Sunday and tell everyone how brilliant you were to some anonymous person online.

    By the way “5 billion” was a hyperbole. I don’t want you to have to worry about pointing out the bloody obvious anymore.

  29. Thanks, but I’ve never played dungeons and dragons, I don’t have a basement and my mother lives in a different country. But cheers dude, nice effort at almost a comeback that looks even more pathetic after you told me my comment was brilliant and after I threw you some concilliatory scraps by pointing out one of my own errors.

  30. I’m not a dude, dude. Furthermore, I don’t need your “concilliatory scraps.” I was being sarcastic when I called you brilliant. I know sarcasm doesn’t read but still your self deprication was very sweet.
    Big hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    BTW that’s 26 explanation marks. Just saving you the trouble of having to count.

  31. *deprecation

  32. your retarded, “no, you’re stupid.”

    grammarman, “no, you’re stupid.”

    your retarded, “no, you’re stupid.”

    grammarman, “no, you’re stupid.”

  33. who you calling stupid, stupid?

  34. I once dated a girl that wanted to have sex in a cemetary. I told her no… and then I broke up with her. I had taken her for a walk to break up with her, anyway… so it wasn’t because of her request.

    I don’t know if I would’ve said yes, if our relationship was stronger. Something about sex in a cemetary seems wrong, but I can’t put my finger on what it is.

  35. I can’t see what betsy says! it’s a grey box. what does she say??

  36. She says “Classy!” I’m guessing she’s being ironic, and that she doesn’t really think it’s classy.

    @Grammarman
    @your retarded

    *fetches popcorn*

    Continue.

  37. Also…

    @ Grammarman
    @ your rertarded

    *orders Pizza, more popcorn and invites friend with video camera*

    And so it goes on…

  38. Yay, True blood :D

  39. i love that the comments are funnier than the posts on here!

  40. “Something about sex in a cemetary seems wrong, but I can’t put my finger on what it is.”

    That something would be the fact that you’re fucking on top of someone’s dead grandma. Quite aside from the inherent creepiness, is it even hygienic to bang in a cemetary??

  41. @jelly
    ‘Is it even hygienic to bang in a cemetary??’.
    Oh you sound like an impulsive person if your consideration is whether the sex is going to be hygienic. Just fuck then worry about it. I don’t think the dead people will mind.

  42. Um, is it just me or was the poster non specific about who they’d had sex with in the cemetary, last time I checked necrophilia was pretty much illegal everywhere?

  43. @Bob

    Seriously man, why were you checking that everywhere? Were you just desperate to find a place where it was legal?

  44. Betsy FTW!

  45. fucking belle and sebastian

  46. Hardly suprising that tryphosa likes this. tryphosa likes men old enough to be dead. Not hard to find her profile pic on fb.

  47. I’ve done this, they still call me graveyard girl.

  48. okay, do the act of birth at the place of death.

  49. Fuck off anonisgay, just FUCKOFF!!!

  50. i actually thin that would be pretty cool to do i just might try it hehehe…

    @awesome #47 i think i love you

  51. how do the deceased get erect?

  52. West, they are constantly stiff.

  53. Wow.. can you say respect? What the hell is wrong with teenagers..? I’m no Christian, but I still have respect for those who have moved on to the higher plane.

  54. red you are right.
    but i want to say is : ”Ah Sookie Sookie”

    nailed it!

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