Wednesday, June 22, 2011

ABORT! ABORT!

previous post: An Unfortunate Name

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31 Comments

  1. Mario and Dretti.

  2. Fortunately, raising a baby to age 18 costs much less than $400.

  3. Fuckin a man.

  4. WTF is she saying?

  5. Not to give Mike Judge too much credit, but Idiocracy’s theory about the dumbest of the population reproducing much more frequently leading to a nation of barely functional morons is becoming more and more disconcerting.

  6. @jzimbert: My thoughts exactly.

    O, the trash! The trash!

  7. Marjorie definitely is going to raise that child on the wrong side of town. Its odds are stacked against it.

  8. “Baby not his”? Is Cheryl a caveman?

  9. Any translators available for that complete butchering of the English language?

  10. this made me feel really sad for the baby :/ just think how he/she will feel when they find out the only reason they weren’t aborted was because their mum didn’t have the money.

  11. why do people spell like that? i’m not the greatest speller, but least you can understand what the hell i am saying. people like that shouldn’t be able to have kids….

  12. euthanize marj.

  13. this is my best attempt at translating the stupid:

    Marjorie: I think I’m pregnant! I’m not happy because it’s not my man’s, but if I am pregnant, I’m happy in a way because I can still have babies. :) I thought the implants ruined my body for having babies, but not the case if I’m pregnant. My period is late and I just took three tests which all came back with two lines (positive). It will be scary shit when my man hears this.
    Marian: Well, Marge, he will definitely hear about it now that you have put it on Facebook. Never mind, a little brother or sister for your daughter- she will be pleased, I bet. Love you, niece. :)
    Marjorie: Actually, telling him wasn’t that scary, just stressful. He’s a very understanding man that loves me. He just said to make an appointment to get it terminated. I know it’s not the right thing to do, though I love my man so much I would do this just for him! I love you, Les, (what?) and don’t want to lose you! It’s kind of scary though because he’s going to have this on me forever!
    Cheryl: If you want to keep the baby, sis, keep the baby! I have seen people in the same situation as you, and the man ends up adoring the baby even though the baby isn’t theirs. Trust me, because when the baby is born, you’ll be glad you kept it, even though it’s not his. You can still have your own. Kisses hugs kisses hugs. Take care, sis. If you want a story, send me a message. Kisses hugs kisses hugs kisses hugs kisses hugs kisses hugs kisses hugs kisses kisses!

    Marjorie: Well, off to see my man. Hope all goes well! Laugh out loud!

    Marjorie: It’s so hard. It’s so fucking hard!
    Perry: That’s what she said!
    Dalles: WELL DON’T FUCKING DO IT, K.
    Marjorie: I don’t think it’s going to happen now because it’s 400 dollars and I don’t have that kind of money just laying around. Fuck it!
    Cynthia: Yeah, it’s wild expensive. I just had one done at the place in Midland. Is that where you went?
    Dalles: Huzzah, you shall keepeth thine infant.
    Marjorie: Yes, Cynthia, that place, but I don’t have the money so yes, Dalles, not doing it!

    Marjorie: Watching Ultimate Fighting Championship! Wicked fights, true.

  14. in other news: dalles has the most ridiculous spelling of his name in the world.

  15. @Walter: Me too, man, me too.

  16. The baby is gonna end up costing much more than $400. Jus’ sayin’.

  17. Looks like Marjorie’s mom was $400 short…

  18. I have the urge to send her the money… but she’d blow it at the UFC.

  19. I would have made an appointment to have her terminated.

    That’s the first thing that popped into my head when I read that jzimbert

  20. They sound Aboriginal the way they are talking (ie: ‘Sis’ and ‘dal’).

    This makes me so sad.

  21. Funny how the utterly dumb and stupid seem to reproduce the most, get pregnant faster than rabbits and can’t even take care of their offspring. when you think about it, what does it say about humanity and evolution that these are the people best equiped to contribute most (that is in quantity) to our population?
    The human race is doomed…

    Wow, I hate humans even more now.

  22. Chavs in love, much love aight.

  23. Also, another translation:

    Marj: I believe I could be with child. This is detrimental to my well being because my significant other is not the father,
    however, it brings me some relief to know that I can become impregnated. I thought the contraceptive implant would prevent me
    from conceiving, but it seems to have failed. My menstruation cycle has not begun in a timely manner; I have taken pregnancy
    tests thrice and they have all read positive. I believe my male counterpart may be upset by this news.

    Marian: herp derp

    Marj: derp herp

    Cheryl: HERP DERRRRP!

    Marj: I owe it to my gentleman caller to report my misfortune. I pray he does not strike me about the head and face.

    Marj: It seems this task is much more difficult than I had anticpated.

    Dalles: I advise against your undertaking.

    Marj: My lord, the journey is forfeit. M pocketbook does not contain enough currency to complete the procedure. Perhaps I should abandon
    this folly.

    Cynthia: Indeed, the procedure comes at great initial cost. By chance, I have had one performed myself recently in Mid-land. Would that be
    the destination you had envisioned?

    Dalles: Hurrah! Your love child shall be borne despite folly!

    Marj: In truth Cynthia, that was my destination as well, yet due to my financial station in life, I will not be operated upon.

    Marj: Revelling in the bloodsport of UFC, let there be no doubt.

  24. afrosheen, you just made my day. :)

  25. Midland is an outer suburb of Perth with an abortion clinic and judging by the names and the unorthadox grammar they could be speaking in Aboriginal English. If any of them read this please tell Marjorie that she can get an abortion for free at the public hospital.

  26. Most definitely Aboriginal English, and from east of Perth.

  27. Marj may not be a coon, she might just be white trash. Midland has a lot of them.

  28. Wow… I laughed a little at Marjorie, and then I realised they were from Midland. Not surprised there. I’m from Perth and lets just say Midland isn’t the classiest area… and it does have quite a large Aboriginal population… But it is also bogan central, so like havemercy said, they could be white trash. Both are plausible.

  29. You know, I can think of two things that would have prevented this whole situation:

    Fidelity, and the Trojan Man, in that order.

    I’m so old fashioned.

    Jenna, your “Perry” translation made me laugh.

    Afrosheen, your entire translation was hilarious.

  30. *takes a bow*

    I actually put some effort in, thanks fellas.

  31. If you love your man, you don’t cheat. It’s just. That. Simple.

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