Friday, June 25, 2010

A WONderful Start to the Weekend

previous post: DISSability



  1. STEVER!

  2. Stevan: It’s rape.

  3. the last one was ok. the other two, meh

  4. BringYourOwnSun

    Yeah, the first one is old and not in the least funny…

  5. @ miah… exactly what i was going to say. that debra seems like a real classy lady. hopefully no one ever tries to “sample her merchandise.”

  6. The first one is stupid. How could you not know that’s rape? Freaking moron. The second one is lame, but the last is alright. Scurvy’s rare enough that this is unique.


  7. well if he pays her then it’s just a hard day’s work

  8. Debra, as a woman, you’re a worry.

  9. @Saffer

    No, you nit. Forcing sex on ANYONE against their will is rape, even if you leave money afterwards. “Yeah, I took what I wanted when she said no, but I left some dough, and she does this for a living, so it’s ok” doesn’t fly.

    Lamebook, you should be ashamed of yourself for promoting a mentality of sexual assault and rape, even if it is about prostitutes. This is just not funny.


  10. And Robert, whatever ever turns you on, buddy. I have my fetishes, but doing some guy with a history of vitamin C deficiency is not one of them.

  11. Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Thanks to all of you who clarified #1. I foolishly interpreted it as a joke.

  12. The first one has been kicking around for ages. I saw it on the “Daily Humour” site a few months ago, and there was such an outcry from those commenting, they had to remove it. There are just some no-go areas in humour, and this is one of them.

  13. Robert’s kind of awesome.

  14. I dig the posters on this site. Nice to see everyone jump on that first (very very lame) one.

  15. I mean the commenters.

  16. CommentsAtLarge

    Robert’s opening line: “How would ye like to walk my plank?”

  17. robert has a very valid point…

  18. a joke is a joke whether it’s tasteful or not. if you don’t think it’s funny then fine. don’t be a dick about it.

  19. @Comments

    Sometimes, you just have to plunder that booty.

  20. and open up the deadman’s chest.

  21. I don’t know, if someone said, ‘I was treated for scurvy’ that just sounds kind of stupid to me. ‘I had scurvy’ would sound less like they’re trying to making it sound like they went through dialysis or something.

  22. Yes Comments, that would be one jolly rogering.

  23. CommentsAtLarge


    As long as you both get your pieces of eight, you’re square

  24. Yes chiiro, she would have been better off saying “I didn’t get these lips from sucking oranges”, and she would be right.

  25. CommentsAtLarge


    With you at the helm, it would be jolly indeed.

    Nautical terms are dirty (or can be at least, if used properly ;) )

  26. Comments, put me at your helm, and I promise I’ll guide you in the right direction… north.

  27. CommentsAtLarge

    The helm is yours :) … suppose I should call you Captain Word now eh?

  28. And I’d like you to know, Comments, you can swab my deck any time.

    Dirty nautical references now exhausted.

  29. My tentacled sea monster would run you through with a cutlass. Wait, that’s Japanese pirates. Never mind.

  30. CommentsAtLarge

    Duely noted, will make sure to put my back into my work ;)

    Yeah, all I got left nautically speaking is “ppop deck” and that leads down some bad roads.

    Have a great weekend word!

  31. CommentsAtLarge

    *poop deck

    Hate it when I double the wrong letters.

  32. And you, buddy.

  33. Because rape jokes are always funny.

    Come on, Lamebook. On top of the lowbrow humor, I think I saw a post with a joke similar to the first one only a few days ago.

  34. I should have guessed the comments would have ended up being sexualised nautical references, I’m not complaining though.

  35. I thought I left a comment on this one but apparently not.

    Ah well.

  36. Yikes, I hope Robert’s girl never reached the stage of scurvy where your teeth fall out… unless he’s into that.

    Causes of scurvy in a teenage girl that are more likely than being a pirate:
    – being a fussy brat who doesn’t like fruit & veg
    – not giving a damn about nutrition
    – anorexia

  37. You folks are right that rape is a serious occurrence. Last year I only took second in the Rape Olympics, because the goddamn sanctioning body allowed politicians to compete at the amateur level.

  38. as horrible as your comment was, Soup. I giggled.

  39. Awww Soup, you’ll win at the upcoming one. I’m rooting for ya!

  40. Thank you nuff. I appreciate the support. I’m training as hard as I can, but because I’m such a fantastic male specimen, it can be hard to find unwilling women. We in the business call it the rape paradox. It’s the only valid field of study that ever came out of a frat house.

  41. I Am Not Here: There’s really no point in getting worked up over a joke online, even if it’s a serious issue. For all you know I could be a prostitute that got raped and choosing to laugh about it rather than let it define me. Log out if you cannot handle it.

  42. nobody can lol at the ‘your mom’ one, geez

    and uhh, the first ones not that funny to me, but really, you’re getting upset about a rape joke on lamebook..? lighten up people, if you don’t like it, don’t laugh, if you reeeaallly don’t like it, then, umm, don’t look at it…there’s no need to preach, i’m sure we all know rape is bad…

  43. You may have to try more unorthodox methods in that case Soup. I’ll have to look into this paradox you speak of though, it sounds quite riveting.

  44. @ohbabybaby, yeah people can look away, but if Stevan can make the joke, other people can say they’re offended. Nothing against malteaser, but if this was 45 comments of “lol”, it’d be dull. Instead, we have a little debate, and a little Soup.

    Everything’s better with Soup.

  45. That’s why malteaser’s such a great Lamebook commenter. She says the things that nobody else dares to say.

    Pushing the boundaries and all that.

  46. Soup is a good hunger quencher, I have to agree. He makes me pose questions and theories I usually wouldn’t.

    I’m alright with Robert’s reasoning. Investing is a must, and if you get some booty and nice gilded chest out of it that’s ok too. Plunder away Robert, plunder!

  47. i’m not saying people can’t be offended, i just don’t need to hear about it on here. this website is for fun, people make jokes, we read dumb shit, blah blah blah, not a place for me to read what people don’t find funny. and, i wouldn’t consider some panties in a bunch prude telling everyone rape is wrong & you shouldn’t make jokes about it a debate really…

  48. @Ohbabybay #47 if somebody is offended and voices that, then just don’t read it. Nobody’s forcing you to read it or reply, thus sparking further debate on the issue.

    Yes, I am using your own words against you. Because everybody has the right to “look away” (which is, by the way, really bad logic), and everybody else has the right to tackle something that they feel is affecting the nation negatively. And you can agree with them, or you can get pissed off that they think there is a line to be drawn with jokes.

    Frankly, I think that rape jokes go too far, but only because rape is a seriously rampant crime right now that alot of people don’t care about. It’s like, “let’s get that girl really drunk and then have sex with her”. What whaaaaat?

  49. Also, maybe Robert realized that she wanted somebody to share her cabin fever with. Perhaps she was hoping to sail the virgin seas?

  50. I just didn’t like the joke because I’d heard a billion times before. Tell me a joke about a woman needing to be in a kitchen and I wouldn’t punch you for implying women aren’t equal, I’d punch you for being the least original comedian I’ve ever met.

    I’m not sure how my point is relevant to the topic at hand.

  51. I’m glad the sense of humor of most here is still intact. That was some -serious- bitching. I found the first one humorous, considering it was my first time having seen it. Merely to reassure you all, though, I have no intentions of raping anyone simply because I found a rape joke funny. Most people who will rape someone don’t do so because of a joke. They’re just that demented. Cheeeell.

  52. When Robert heard I had HIV he hit on me. He thought I might be African and that I might have diamonds. I told him my bumhole is exit-only, except for Jesus (God’s greatest investment).

  53. point is, this is website for humor and people to get some giggles, if you’re going to be that serious and up- tight about crude or slightly offensive humor, then maybe this isn’t the website for you. there is a time and place for certain types of discussions, i do not consider lamebook to be a place to preach. if someone is really that offended by something they can contact the people in charge of the site and discuss it with them. i’m just saying, lighten up or maybe find somewhere that’s more your taste….it’s not really suppose to be this serious..

    and yeah, it’s not too original, but it’s still a little funny..

  54. christopherlovet

    People are underestimating just how funny rape can be.

  55. Ohbabybaby, you’re getting very uptight about other people getting uptight. It’s not that I don’t get your point, but when other posts aren’t funny, people will complain about them, too. Rape isn’t special.

    Unless it’s done right.

  56. I always thought the purpose of this site was to show what not to post on Facebook.

  57. @Saffer
    There’s no point in getting worked up over my comments about not thinking a particular joke is funny. Log out if you can’t handle it. Oh wait…do you see the problem here?

    I made a comment about the humor/appropriateness inherent to a joke, and instead of trying to convince me that it was humorous/appropriate, everybody decided to voice their opinions about me voicing my opinions, but in so doing, said posters did exactly what they don’t want me doing. Yeah…um…no.

    Do you see post #56, right above mine? That made me rethink my post more than any of you nits whining, “Go awaayyyyy we don’t like your kind here!”


  58. i prefer JoeAckney.

  59. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    JoeAckney rules.

  60. suckmebeautiful

    Wait. Maybe I Am Not Here is JoeAckney?

  61. Overreaction fuels the fire. Let’s keep that flame down shall we? Moving on.

  62. Vince from purchasing

    I wish that Elixabeth would post more. She was funny without intending to be. Which puts her 2 – 0 over most people here.

    I never click on the full thread anymore, btw, Elixabeth – so if your weirdness has been available but commented out, I’ve missed it. Cheers to you, and Jesus DID buy that aqua rabbit. Sorry.

  63. I thought elixabeth just posted normal comments with a quote from the Bible underneath. Not exactly first-rate humour.

  64. krasivaya_devushka

    Elixabeth was funny because she was posting Bible verses at the end of every comment?
    Lol hilarious!!

  65. Hobes, sorry about England, buddy. We were torn up by Germany in a similar fashion. I did 4 years of German at school, so I’ll use that as the excuse to now get behind them. They are on fire.

    Deutschland zu gewinnen!

  66. hau ab du riemelriecher!

    england were shiiiiite!

  67. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    That was fucken ass rape.

  68. krasivaya_devushka

    Awwww England got Muller-ed today!
    Just don’t start blaming it on the vuvuzelas or the ball, please.

    But in all seriousness, that 2nd goal should’ve been allowed! Not that it would’ve changed anything…? Or maybe it would’ve, hmmm…
    Oh well, better luck next time! :D

  69. releasethehounds

    Rooney was a pathetic passenger for the whole game.

    This will go down as the greatest world cup ever because France and Italy got knocked out at the group stage.

  70. American Apparel have some weird looking models.

    Also, Uruguay to win the World Cup.

    Also, Sepp Blatter needs to allow the use of slow-motion replay.

  71. I’m sorry samwise, but Argentina is an unstoppable force and will walk all over Uruguay, and thus, win the World Cup.

  72. hoping Germany will win the worldcup, those boys raped England badly today :-)

  73. If you start with boring hockey, replace everything fast with something slow, everything hard with something soft, and fights and blood with crying and tears, you end up with soccer.

  74. Hockey IS the best sport on earth for a reason, but the World Cup is fun to watch as well. Though, that is a pretty accurate description Walter.

  75. releasethehounds

    soccer is the only sport that little people are good at.

  76. Paranoid Android

    Rugby League is the greatest (and toughest) sport in the world, no padding for these blokes.

    I’m English, football now officially sucks and is rubbish, so there.

  77. Rape jokes really aren’t funny.

    I agree with comment 56 that the purpose of this site is to show what not to do on facebook..

    ..but what’s really bothering me is that this is in a “win” section, not a “horribly awful, lame, etc” section. This makes me question the judgment of the people running this site.

  78. to be honest i’ve sat on my hands the whole way through this debate, but i disagree with almost all of you. there’s a lot of self-righteousness on here!

    there are so many horrible things in the world – rape is just one among many, hanging out with his friends cancer, addiction, war, barney the dinosaur and famine. basically the world is one big hieronymous bosch painting, and the only way to brighten it up a little is to deal with all things equally, and to reduce everything down to the simplest common denominator. which is humour.

    if i was in a group of ten people and made a joke about cancer, the chances are, two or three of the people in the group have been affected by cancer – but i don’t care – it’s like chaos theory – things like cancer and rape are always going to happen on earth. maybe i’ve been affected by cancer…. but this doesn’t make it more real or unreal. who am i to account for cancer!!? cancer is no more a killer than time, or oxygen – they’re the ultimate killer. but if i were to mention free radicals at the dinner table, would everyone be up in arms?

    the writer dennis potter maintained a healthily humorous relationship with his cancer – he called it rupert after the tv magnate rupert murdoch, and swapped jokes and curses with it until he died. i’m not suggesting people call their rape sandra and take it to bed at night, but still. i don’t think rape is funny, but it does make me chuckle a little to think that, in spite of all our much-lauded progress as a species, there will be a man in a hut in haiti pinning down a woman somewhere, and also probably in manchester, and brooklyn at any given minute. because we’re all a bunch of godless animals. i think that’s funny. i would never rape anyone – but that’s not to say rape doesn’t exist as an idea in my consciousness. what are you going to do – wipe rape out? rape will always exist – rape is a timeless actuality – so what sense does it make to pretend it doesn’t exist, or speak of it in hushed tones?

    i’m not being flippant, although i don’t feel like i’ve really articulated myself well.

    my only quibble is that the actual prostitute joke is awful, and one of those bloody formulaic and stupid one liners that never ever does, or can, sound original. i say do a joke about anything, as long as it’s funny.

  79. I agree with #73.

  80. I agree alordslums!

  81. mkay hit the nail on the head. i am not a “panties in a bunch prude” but i fail to see how stevan’s status or debra’s reply were wins. that was my issue with the post. i am all for laughing at the lameness that facebook breeds (that is, afterall, why i am here) but don’t feed me shit and tell me it’s ice cream.

  82. life is a tragi-comedy! stop making it a tragedy!

    and chesty, agree wholeheartedly.

  83. There’s nothing funny about rape.

    Unless someone puts a laugh track to the video and posts it on YouTube. That makes EVERYTHING hilarious…

  84. As much as I’ve seen, rape jokes are not made by people who have been victims of it themselves. That’s different from a cancer patient making jokes about his own illness. And in rape jokes, the joke is on the victim. So it’s just the concept of a prostitute getting raped that is supposed to be funny here. You have to consider that concept absurd on some level to laugh at it…

  85. On a related note, there have been a lot of jokes about catholic pedos lately. It’s an equally tragic subject matter but in my opinion there is one crucial difference that sets it apart from the typical rape joke: the joke is on the church (the assaulter), not the abused kids.

  86. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @ alordslums “i don’t feel like i’ve really articulated myself well.”

    you did man. But you didn’t need to. I think we have that same idea that’s we we all haven’t bothered to get into the argument.

  87. @Selow
    “rape jokes are not made by people who have been victims of it themselves”

    I hear the same is true with murder

  88. @Selow

    Wanna bet?

  89. dirtylittlepretty

    why did i just now see this??

  90. 123 456

  91. test

  92. nope

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