Friday, October 22, 2010

A New Hope… in one status

previous post: Wins Before the Weekend

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166 Comments

  1. Haha xD Nicely done.

  2. how the hell did he get it to say “A long time ago” on each comment?

  3. Poor Chewy. :(

  4. Popped back on before I leave. This was very well thought out. :D
    Some overly-long posts turn out to be just…stupid, but this, this is very good.

  5. This wasn’t even remotely funny.

  6. Dear Lamebook,

    Please stop reposting things from CollegeHumor.

    Signed,
    Evan

  7. FML… I LOL’d at this. heh

  8. awesome!

  9. Forgive me for wanting to peek behind the curtain, but do they do these kind of posts with a Facebook emulator?

  10. First time seeing this, so I <4 it!

    R2D2 kicks ass

  11. Actually, it was “short for a stormtrooper”, THEN “here to rescue you”.

  12. First time seeing this, first time thinking it is real fucking lame.
    And Hobo likes it! Are Hobo and I somehow turning into one another?

  13. Man this is soooo lame…. Nah just kidding. As star wars fan I just love this. X>
    Much better than a lot of the ones I’ve seen on here. :)

  14. I didn’t even read it. I stopped after the first couple comments.

    How many of these are we going to have? Omg, like they put their names at characters from a movie and then they pretended to be that character and then they made jokes. LOLOLOLOL

  15. :O Maybe. I have to admit I thought it was kind of stupid at the start, but I was amused by the last couple of comments.

  16. it’s cute but it has to be fake. you can’t make Facebook say comments were “a long time ago”.

  17. Fun fact – “sup bitches” was originally Solo’s line before “you’re all clear kid” but Lucas cut it in hopes of using it for Jar Jar Binks decades later. This must be the special edition.

  18. Hahaha.

    Sincerely,

    Last Year

  19. As a SW fan I have to say: this is pure genius! :)

  20. This is so epic.

  21. everything on the internetz is fake

  22. i laughed when chewbacca didn’t get a medal.

    @2: photoshop.

  23. Zzzzzzzzzzz….

  24. @14 me too …. actually, even the first couple bored me

  25. I can’t believe I read this shit.

    what a load of bollox.

  26. I’m with most of the last few commenters. This is utter shit. Fucking Star Wars… ugh. I’d rather eat dirt.

  27. Word, I like Star Wars, at least the first three (they can’t compare to Star Trek though…) but this is utter shite. ‘Look at us, we can make “trendy” remarks like “Sup” to sort of convey a movie plot, but only to people who already know the plot! Aren’t we fantabulous!’
    Bollocks munching wankers.

  28. Yup, mad2. They can stick their little routine right up that bitch, Chewbacca’s hairy ass.

  29. mad2, that last line gave me a strange visual of, well, people eating bollocks while wanking…

    I’m a bit miffed, our hair dryer seems to have grown legs and walked off. It was plugged into the top of the mirror, and now it’s gone.

  30. Wow, people creating fake Star Wars profiles. How hilarious. Not impressed.

    Signed, Commander William Adama (friend request me!!!)

  31. I’ll admit, I’ve seen better one of this sort, but this was still decent.

    (Found the hair dryer, under a vase of flowers and folded clothes in a different room. I told you guys to stop messing with me. :( )

  32. I’ve never actually seen Star Wars, and people seem to think that’s the weirdest thing ever when I tell them. I really don’t get it.

  33. Should have hidden it better on you keona.
    Star Trek is better though.

  34. yet again i’m with you hobo …. where else though ;)

  35. I’ve seen the whole of Star Wars but none of Trek, so I can’t make a judgement call on the latter. Is it a very long series?

    (I can sniff out a hair dryer from miles away when my hair is in need of it)

  36. I’d do Uhura …. just sayin’.

  37. Bye, y’all. Gym time, with about 10 mins of tanning. I’m normally against tanning at all due to Melanoma, but I’m as pale as Edward Cullen, and also so pale that if I had red hair, i’d be a ginger. :( Sometimes my family asks if I’m ill. I just tell them “no, I just need a tan.” Pretty bad, yo. <3 to all.

  38. Keona, Star Trek consists of 5 tv series (1 3 seaosns, 3 7 seasons, and 1 4 seasons) and 10 movies or so. Yeah, long series.
    The best, in my opinion, is the Deep Space 9 series. Next is TNG. I personally feel that ‘Enterprise’ should be considered non-canon…
    Tidbit: The onscreen kiss between Captain Kirk and Lt. Uhura was the very first televised interracial kiss (or at least, white and black kiss) in the US.

  39. My eighth grade teacher made us watch star wars and take a test on it because it’s her favorite movie. Long story short I failed the test…

  40. dirtylittlepretty

    i just don’t give a fuck.

  41. The only thing I already knew, mad2, was that that kiss was the first televised. You’ve intrigued me to watch that series, I just pray I have the attention span and memory for it. I don’t want to get halfway through and say: “…what happened again? =3 damn you, brain…damn you.”

    @dirtylittlepretty I like your attitude. :D

  42. I am pretty sure other kisses were televised previously. The I Love Lucy show, the Dick Van Dyke show both showed kissing. This was the first kiss with a white and black person kissing, though (although it only happened in one episode, and the censors allowed it only because they were under alien influence at the time).
    Keona, the fact that you haven’t seen any star trek makes you some kind of cultural holdout. I adjure you to download and watch TOS, TNG, and DS9 post haste. VOY is also pretty good; ENT is considered to be sub-par. The movies: even movies are considered kickass among the first six.
    I was a trekie growing up. I used to think 7 of 9 was stupendously hot.

  43. Cultural holdout? Yes, I’m a strange one. I also haven’t seen any of The Lord Of The Rings..heh.

  44. Ok. Here’s what you need to do then. DON’T watch any of LOTR until you have read 1. the Hobbit and then 2. the LOTR books and ideally 3. The Silmarllion.
    I am a trekkie, but first and foremost I am a Tolkien fan, and you NEED to read the books before the movies. The movies stray enough from the books that it is important.
    On another topic, I am drunk off my ass. But that doesn’t make the above untrue.

  45. And when I say ‘Silmarllion’ obviously I mean ‘Silmarillion,’ My drunkenness affects my typing, sorry.
    Tolkien was a fucking genius of such high caliber that he almost restores my faith in humanity after seeing NSEW girl.

  46. @dirtylittlepretty – my sentiments exactly.

  47. I’ll write all this down, haha. :) I hate to sound lazy, because really I’m not, but, where would a trusted site be to download? With my luck, I’d pick the wrong one and get viruses.

  48. Try ‘the pirate bay.’ Or just use googl\e for a torrent.
    Real1y you should see this (and your bf too; I don’t remember his name if you’ve mentioned it). For both ST and for LOTR.
    Holy shit, so drunk I thought I was in free fall. Damn.

  49. I tittered at a couple of places. I’m assuming this would be a bit funnier if I wasn’t the only human on the planet who has not seen Star Wars?

  50. tittered…lol.
    mad2 lmao…nice. His name is John. I’ve been so drunk, that I blacked out for like 5 or 15 mins and I woke up and swore up and down that hours had passed. Ramen noodles are bomb when drunk.

  51. Hannibal: I must break you.
    Romans: Bring it, fucker.
    Hannibal: Nothing can alp you.
    Romans: Your game is weak sauce.
    Hannibal: My warcraft is so much better than yours.
    Romans: What could you possibly bring against the might of Rome?
    Hannibal: When you see it, you’ll shit bricks.

  52. Sooooouuuup <3 Welcome back.

  53. Sleep time, the gym wore me out. Another busy day tomorrow.

  54. He’s trying too hard that it’s not funny at all.

  55. I have a Boba Fett tattoo, and this isn’t funny.

    Also, it’s Tosche Station.

  56. I know I am posting this WAAAY too late (can’t help the time difference from the desert to the states), but I think this is funny as hell. It’s not that it’s really that clever or original…it’s just funny. Whether people like it or not, Star Wars is a true piece of Americana…and one of the only movies that is known (loved or hated) around the world. It’s that epic (sorry..I don’t make the facts, I just broadcast them to the masses (not you mass….)). The fact that you can take a movie like that and condense it into a Facebook conversation is pretty damn funny. Small things amuse small minds….meh…

  57. Hi guys :) Just popping in briefly.

    The only reason I wouldn’t call this a complete fail is because it’s about Star Wars, which is all sorts of awesome, and because it’s the entire movie and not just a piece (follow-through is admired). Still, I wouldn’t call it groundbreaking humour. It’s ok. That’s it.

    Even so, it shouldn’t be on Lamebook. Definitely the wrong forum for a facebook status spoof.

    Ok, I’m gone for today. Love y’all, and I’ll try to be back soon. x

  58. Why’s it on Lamebook and NOT titled “For. The. F***ing. Win.” ?

    I wish people would stop complaining on pretty much EVERY post now that “it’s not original.” NOTHING is original anymore. It’s all been done. It’s still fucking funny gotdamnit!

    OK so maybe I’m just easily entertained, but at the very least I say… helpful for the Star Wars geek who has trouble explaining it to their S.O. xP

    @mad2 I TOTALLY agree with, well, all your opinions about the Star Trek series. I could NOT get into Enterprise, especially after the first few episodes and def. not after its first season. DS9 was my fave too… my daughter is named Jadzia for a reason :D … and that reason being that I compromised with her daddy (haha). We couldn’t agree on ANYTHING else somehow. I have grown to love it though.

    I’m not much of a Trekkie/Trekker (just to be safe…I dunno WTF the difference is but some people are way too damn sensitive about that, I do know), but I grew up with it (dad, sister, and the ex more than any in my life, are all huge fans) and am familiar with most of it. I’m not obsessed with it but I definitely don’t dislike it.

  59. Oh, and my daughter’s cousin (her dad’s niece) is named Kira Nerys. Hehe.

  60. I don’t care that it isn’t original, and I generally don’t complain about posts. But any attempt to retell Star Wars by using phrases like ‘Sup’ and ‘peaching out’ is lame. Unless you at least begin by saying ‘Star Wars translated into trendwhore.’ Maybe it could have been funnier if it wasn’t so damn long.
    Shelley, I love the Jadzia character. I couldn’t get into Enterprise either. I don’t usually watch tv so I watch what I see on reruns, and after reading about all this stupid ‘emotional vulcan’ and ‘lots of time travel’ BS, among other things, I was of the opinion ‘no. Just… no.’ Oh and I loved the Jadzia character, particularly her affinity for Klingons, but honestly I preferred Ezri… I’m sure I’m in the minority there. I always thought Kira was a tad bit obnoxious. There’s a reason Odo went back to the Founders to get away from her, you know?
    I also haven’t seen the new so-called Star Trek movie. And why? Because Spock and Kirk WERE NOT at the Academy together. Spock was the 1st officer of the Enterprise with Pike years and years before Kirk took it over. Plus having every lead male character romancing Uhura? Wouldn’t they have remembered doing this? Wouldn’t Uhura have remembered? Oh you stupid Hollywood executives, when will you ever learn?
    Keona or ‘Keke’ (makes me think of ‘Zeke,’ an American name for a Japanese aeroplane in WWII, though I imagine your nickname is prounounced ‘Kiki’ rather than ‘Keek’), I blacked out shortly after writing that last comment. I woke up on the other side of the house in bed next to my wife. I have no idea how I got there. In fact I have no idea how I was CAPABLE of getting there (and it wasn’t help from my wife, she was already asleep). Oh alcohol, I fucking love you.

  61. Mad2 – I’M not the biggest fan of Kira either… she annoyed me most times. But my ex suggested the name for his niece when her parents couldn’t agree on a name either. Neither of them really cared either way that it had anything to do with ST, but they liked the name itself.
    So, I guess that’s what made him think of Jadzia a few years later when I got pregnant, because the characters were best friends. *shrug* Like I said, it was a compromise.
    He had some REALLY out-there names and that was definitely the least…odd. And since I was so indecisive and I didn’t hate it, I figured why not. And liked that it was relatively unique. Yadda yadda… After 4 years, I love it now, needless to say. :P

    I saw the newest movie and with my very minimal knowledge of especially the original series I thought it was enjoyable. It seemed like a lot of ridiculous nonsense until a huge (though slightly predictable) plot twist near the end. I won’t be more specific. But, I don’t know enough to say whether there were plot holes — and if so, what they were — that weren’t covered by this twist. My ex is a huge Trek fanatic and as far as I know, he isn’t aware of any major plot holes in it. That doesn’t make it definitive, but he generally knows his Trek shit and has explained a lot of it to me over the past several years. Fuck if I have remembered 1% of it all though. lol. He’s definitely the biggest Trekkie I’ve ever personally known, at the very least. *shrugs*

    And yes, I shrug a lot, IRL and in Internet speak for some odd reason. Dunno why.

  62. Good god, I’m as big a nerd as the next guy (especially if the next guy is Simon Pegg) But Jeez guys, rein it in a little. :D

  63. Pedantic, I have not even begun to nerd shit up!
    Shelley, my objection to the new movie is, as I said, not so much because it conflicts explicitly with the established canon as because it seems unlikely, given the established canon.
    To take another example: Yeah, RIGHT, the entire senior staff of NCC-1701 (during its historic five-year mission) just happened to all go to the academy at the same time? And hang out together while there? And again, where the hell was Kirk while Spock was off with Pike? Did Spock get instantly promoted to exec of the flagship straight out of the Academy? Ok granted, the original pilot doesn’t establish the exact order but Spock was one of Pike’s senior officers, which is kind of a stretch if he was in the Academy with Kirk.
    And what about Kirk’s best friend, who turns into an omnipotent jerk and Kirk is forced to kill in the second pilot? Why is HE not in the movie?
    Ok Pedantic, maybe now I am getting a tad nerdy.

  64. I saw Star Wars at the drive-in when it first came out. Yeah, I’m old. Kind of cool that it continues to make people makes goofs of themselves. I say that lovingly.

  65. Mad2 – Way over my head now. lol. I appreciate the explanation but like I said I don’t really know quite enough about the original series to truly follow. I did, however, wonder as well about the crew all knowing each other since their days at the Academy as though they were all best buds who coincidentally/miraculously all got chosen to serve together on this great ship.

    - – -
    Randomness: My parents met on a blind date and they went to see the first Star Wars movie. They married a year and a half later and December 30th will be their 32nd Anniversary.

  66. I have no idea how a Star Wars thread got turned into a Star Trek thread, but wow! No better way to start a nerd-a-thon than discussing plot holes in Star Trek….

  67. @mad2 .. you’re good … what was the name of that ‘omnipotent jerk’ best friend? I believe he was Irish. I think they met (again) on that planet where your thoughts became reality… neat place.

  68. lol ‘nerd-a-thon’

  69. Mass, I can’t remember the friend’s name… I can see an Irishman becoming an omnipotent jerk though. Ok I looked it up, it was Gary Mitchell. It has been a long time since I watched that episode. Frankly, I thought it was kind of a bad episode.
    O.G., we got on Star Trek because it is so superior to Star Wars. Oh and Star Trek doesn’t have ‘plot holes,’ they’re called ‘time travel paradoxes.’

  70. Yeah, and software doesn’t have bugs, it has “features”….ha ha!

  71. … it was better than the ‘Triffles’ episode. I may have that wrong.

    OK O.G. no more. I have to go get some more Keith’s.

  72. mad2physicist:
    Maybe you should have seen the movie before talking about its “problems”. It has some minor flaws, but none of the things that you describe:

    - Uhura is a cadet before Kirk even applies to the Academy. They are not friends and do not become friends while at the Academy.
    - McCoy is (as in TOS) already a doctor before he enlists in Starfleet. The premise of the movie causes Kirk to enlist – by chance – at the same time as McCoy. They meet on a shuttle and do become friends.
    - Kirk meets Spock for the first time when he beats the Kobayashi Maru. A test that Spock made. They do not at any point “hang out”, and Spock is clearly further ahead than Kirk.
    - Scotty joins the rest of the crew later in the movie. He was banished to an outpost because of an experiment gone wrong (so he was already working in Starfleet probably before most of the rest of them even applied).
    And if I recall correctly:
    - Chekov is a student of Spock’s (a training vessel / training mission or some such cut short by something “the bad guy” did).
    - Sulu just happens to be there when he’s needed.

    Kirk probably doesn’t meet Mitchell at the Academy because he enlists later in this movie than he does in TOS. The movie explains why he does that.

    So even though some of the dates are a little off, the movie is overall very true to TOS – except of course for “the incidents” and consequences thereof caused by “the bad guy”, but the timeline/ events are not “unrealistic”.

  73. @mad2 LMAO. That was a great story. Glad your safe though and didn’t fall on anything whilst blacking out. My name is pronounced like Kiwi (kee wee) Oh, and that’s another nickname from a friend. Kiwi, I find it really cute. But really, call me whatever the hell you like, as long as it’s not derogatory.

    Currently cooking French Toast. I seem to be failing some only because this whole grain/ whole wheat brown bread is cooking differently than white bread, and I have no idea why.

    Carry on, Star Trekkies!

  74. Well shit I give up. Carry on Trekkies (it’s a new British film….Britishhobo will get that joke)… Its time to eat pizza, drink alcohol free beer (aahhh, gotta love the desert), and smoke the hookah. Later…

  75. Oh, and Shelley dear, I read your comment a few pages back about you conceding in the perversion contest with me. I left a comment, but doubt you saw it as it was so far back. Back in my rank, into your proper squad soldier, the student hasn’t any need to become the master yet.

    Speaking of ranks, and sort of random, I wish they had a fifth team in my JROTC class. They had Raider Team, Color Guard, Rifle Team, and I think the fourth was Exhibition. The 5th class would be Perverted ranks. Of course thats just my mind being in the gutter. Oh, and I succeeded in cooking that tricky bread. :D

  76. stguest: ‘he enlists later in this movie than he does in TOS. The movie explains why he does that.’
    Who enlists later? Kirk? And I noted, while looking up other things, that in the original pilot, Spock isn’t the exec. But he is a senior officer.
    I do find the idea that Spock wrote the Kobayashi Maru scenario a bit of a stretch, considering that nothing was said about this point in The Wrath of Khan.
    Anyway, if this is a ‘reboot’ and not simply a prequel, then obviously it doesn’t need to be consistent. However, that was another reason I didn’t see it. Everyone was saying it is a reboot, and I just can’t see rebooting Star Trek.
    Keona, whole wheat bread does not work well for french toast. And yes it is amazing that I didn’t break any objects/myself, considering how clumsy I am even when sober.

  77. What would a Perverted rank do, Keona? Service the servicemen/women?
    Speaking of perversion, a random question: With 2 guys and a girl you can get an Eiffel tower. But what do you have when two girls sit on a guy facing each other and high five or make out?

  78. Well of course service them! They work so hard, no pun intended.
    Woah, I don’t know what an Eiffel tower is in the world of sex moves…so I can’t answer your question.

  79. … The Golden Gates?

  80. *Gate

  81. An eiffel tower is when a girl is in doggy style position having sex with one guy and giving another a blowjob. The ‘eiffel tower’ specifically refers to the male participants high-fiving over the top, as the profile then appears to be vaguely like the Eiffel Tower.
    The analogous FFM situation would seem to be a guy on his back with a girl riding him and another on his face facing the first girl. However, I don’t know of any specific title for this. I assumed between word, yourself, and the others, that someone here might know…

  82. mass, that would make sense, but what if they’re leaning together? Then it no longer looks like the bridge…
    Also, in a sense this is kind of relevant to Star Trek, considering the number of alien women that Kirk got laid with.

  83. ..the best night of my life?

  84. Haha, sorry to let you down. :/ But, no, I don’t happen to know what it’s called. I suppose you could look up sex positions.. The only thing I know is fairly basic sex positions with a FM as is my situation. FFM sounds lovely, though.

  85. Carry On films make me feel dirty.

  86. Ok I like mass’ new name for it.
    And urbandictionary states that ‘golden gate’ usually refers to something else.
    Now Keona you really need to work on getting john on the same page. Because having a girl who wants FFM with a guy who doesn’t want a 3some just seems like a mis-allocation of resources (J/K I’m not that shallow. Almost that shallow but not quite).
    Sorry to take this so far off topic. One last point. Why the fuck would you be high-fiving the guy at the other end? The very last thing I want to be thinking about during sex is interacting with another guy…

  87. …sometimes me and my buddy play poker when we ‘Eiffel’ .

  88. I like mass’s name for it, too. I will keep working on him. He’s a very tough cookie and strong in his beliefs. I’d hate to turn into a crotchety bitter old woman, but I don’t think my resources are mis-allocated at all. This might sound strange, but I am a stranger girl, I wouldn’t be happy if I “re-allocated” to someone who lets me do whatever I want, and joins in in whatever. I wouldn’t be happy, and besides, I don’t have a lot of self control at times when I get really down. I need him to keep in line and out of drugs, alcohol, smoking and basically spiraling into Hell.

    IMO, one who lets their partner or even child do whatever they please, does not care very much about the repercussions. I’m the type who would do anything I wanted if given the chance, which is obviously not a good trait to have. My parents didn’t “raise” me until I was a teen, and then started popping me in the mouth for disobedience. I’ve still got the partial mindset of doing whatever I want if allowed to, yet will be respectful if someone doesn’t want me to for my own good.

    Told y’all I’m fucked in the head, but a safe nutter. Anyways, that’s the end of that rant.

  89. I don’t think you are mis-allocated Keona, it was a joke. As long as you don’t think you are mis-allocated.
    Smoking is over-rated. And it makes you smell, as Dave Barry put it, like a fire at a condom factory.
    Alcohol is good. In its effects. But it tastes disgusting.
    Pot is great. I wish my wife would smoke it with me. And I wish it were legalized. If it were I’d probably give up drinking entirely. As it is I’m not sufficiently connected to the underworld of Buffalo to obtain it.
    ‘Popping in the mouth?’ They sound like jerks, no offense.
    Hobo, why do the Carry On films make you feel dirty? I’ve never seen any of them.

  90. .. Keona, you’re not fucked in the head.

    Chatty, yes … all good.

  91. Didn’t catch it was a joke. Darn internetz. Voices are of course easier to read. I know drinking isn’t that bad, but extreme depression at times makes for suicidal if allowed to drink freely. I got high from secondhand of some really strong pot, and it made me extremely sick. I felt great, but I was very nauseous too. By popping me in the mouth, I mean, just get slapped hard on the mouth. Even though that was my first taste of discipline, it worked pretty effectively most of the time. I had to realize that I couldn’t say or do anything and get away with it anymore, and had to adjust.

  92. I get hyper at times. :(

  93. Uh, yeah, still think your parents are jerks. I’m not totally against physical discipline (for example, screaming children in public should get judo chopped in the vocal cords until they learn that speech is a privilege, not a right), but on teenagers?
    I never got nauseous from pot. But I only had it 4 times.
    I have severe depression. Alcohol does not make it worse. When I am drunk I am not depressed.

  94. Oh, well my dad never did it, I was too scared around him for carious reasons, to mouth off, but I was primarily raised by my mom, who did not ever really discipline until I was a teen and my antics stopped being “cute” and she realized she should do something. My parents weren’t divorced, they just lived apart.
    About the depression, I meant that it will get so bad at times that I want to..go off the deep end. So if I didn’t have anyone caring about me and telling me not to drink, a time when I’d be that depressed, I would go too far from it. I’m thankful to have those people in my life.

  95. So I’m guessing they don’t put new posts up during the weekend?
    @mad..Carry on films are like the British version of National Lampoons…just more dirty. They were made in London in the ’70′s….

  96. Correct O.G. It used to be that they’d post on Saturday but not Sunday. Now, however, they’ve decided that the 3.5 seconds it takes to post new material is more than they want to spend on Saturdays (and that they don’t want an automated script to do it) so we’re stuck spending the weekend making dirty rants instead.

  97. Hey don’t knock dirty rants ;)

    The comments are often much funnier than the posts anyway.

  98. So, who wants to get spanked first? Jay kay…..God, I’m so bored. No one wanted to hang tonight, nay, they didn’t even respond. My friends are douche nuggets. This is what happens when I’m very bored..complete chaos and random.

  99. Both excellent points, curly.
    Keona, it’s saturday night… shouldn’t you be webcam whoring for john?
    Although theoretically you could post comments while doing that…

  100. Oh, I would. ;) But I don’t have a webcam atm, and my family is still awake. It would be one sided, sadly, as his laptop is not compatible with a webcam. If it is, he can’t figure it out, because he got a different one that was given to him.

  101. Well, it would be less than 1-sided if you have no cam and he doesn’t have a working one. I’m not sure what you mean though, he must just not have the drivers for this webcam of his?
    And you would what? post comments while on the cam with him? Because that seems like a waste of valuable time while camming.. if you meant you would camwhore for him then I think we already inferred that.
    Luke Skywalker saying ‘r u’ is the fucking definition of lame. So I suppose it is appropriate to ‘lamebook.’

  102. I guess I was just re-inferring that I would for him. Why would I comment and cam at once? I can multi-task, sure, but not like that, it would be a mood killer. him: what are you doing? me: oh just commenting real quick.

    About his cam problem, it may very well be an issue with the drivers. We’re not certain, and it was given to him by his mom because she got a better one, and she told him she has no clue about it’s webcamming capabilities.

  103. In my experience webcams are second only to printers in terms of ‘evil computer accessories.’ And I’ve never set up a webcam to actually doing streaming webcamming, just to use it to take videos.
    Yes, precisely, why would you comment? But… consider the plethora of women who appear to do things like update facebook during sex. People do some bizarre shit.

  104. True…people are..well, nuts. =S I’ll suggest he take it somewhere and just tell them straight up: “Why can’t I get webcam to work on this confoundit thing?” Don’t ask me why I just personified him as an old man..

  105. Holy moly.

  106. ‘Now see here, ya mischievous wee ‘un, I was tryin’ to install this here newfangled “web cam,” when I saw these young whippersnappers on my lawn, so I called out “Hey you kids, get off the lawn!” But then I went back to the cam and the pictures, they warn’t a-movin’ on the screen as they ought. Now jes’ you fix it proper before I give you a proper thrashing with my cane!’
    Yes Walter?

  107. Never heard of the Eiffel Tower position before, nor the Golden Gate. lol. Eiffel sounds fun though! But like mad2 said I can’t see why the guys (who are obviously straight or at most Bi) would want to interact much with each other nor especially “high five” each other. o.O

    mass, you are too damn funny!

    Keona, some of what you said sounds a bit like me. Mostly the bit about getting carried away when you don’t get loved ones to keep you in line. I like to drink (booze not beer – hate it) and smoke some weed now and then. But, also like mad2, I don’t really have the resources to acquire it often. When I do though, I enjoy it (after child is asleep). I don’t like to be so high that I can’t function, but I like it for relaxation and a slight mood changer. It’s also nice if I know I’m gonna be gettin’ some that night too…definitely enhances the experience for me.

    Oh and totally agree with curly as well!

    Spanking?!! 8) *hands Keona a paddle and bares ass* Have at it! *blush*

    Webcam-involved cyber sex can be awesome especially for established couples who are apart for some time. I’ve had some decent experiences with it. :) But, if it’s not working, good ole’-fashioned phone sex can be just as nice too?

  108. Umm, wrong emote after “spanking” I didn’t think it would turn into anything…I should just stop using emotes. lol

  109. Shelley: ‘Eiffel sounds nice!!…. *hands Keona a paddle and bares ass* Have at it! ‘ You really are catching up to Keona in the perversion dept., aren’t you?
    I could even see bi guys interacting. Just not straight ones.
    Oh and for the record it seems ‘golden gate’ refers not to the FFM position described above, but to a foursome in which two couples have doggie style while the girls are facing each other making out.
    I can get as much alcohol as I want. Which is probably not the healthiest fact. Pot would be much healthier…

  110. Refer to comment #47 on the previous post.

  111. @keona…if it has a USB plug, its a webcam. Drivers are almost always the problem. Right click my computer > manage > device manager. Find the webcam (should have a yellow exclamation point next to it). Right click > properties > update driver. If windows ( just assuming its windows) cant find the driver, you’ll have to visit the manufacturer website and download and install the drivers. If the camera already has drivers in device manager, but you can’t get it to work with your IM app (msn messenger, yahoo chat, etc..), there should be a audio/video setup wizard for each app. Find it, and make sure its pointing to the webcam. Hope this helps.

  112. Keona, your boy is Asian, right? I hate to be the one to tell you, but he knows how to work a webcam. The only driver he’s missing is the one in his pants.

  113. Oh… well then Golden Gate sounds even better!

    And to clarify… I can pretty much get alcohol whenever too. I meant to say it’s the weed I have trouble getting. But I’m not desperately searching for it so it’s alright. But in the rare occasion I can get my hands on some then I’m game. lol. Too many reason to even list why I wish it was legal. I’ve smoked tobacco a few times and I can’t stand it (smell, taste, or effects) but I think it’s a little ass backwards personally. If anything, Mary Jane should be legal and tobacco illegal. :/

  114. Holy shit guys…I just refreshed the page. There’s a fuck ton of stuff…um.. mad2 and Shelley, you made me smile and lol.

    OG, Thanks, I’ll see if that helps.

    Soup…I’m not even going to go there.

  115. Soup, I hate to break it to you but those stereotypes about asian intelligence are bullshit. As a TA at a very diverse university I deal with students of many races, and let me tell you, I’ve had students who were white, black, asian, you name it, they were so dumb I am to this day amazed they can walk erect.
    I imagine this also means the ‘in the pants’ stereotype is broken on numerous occasions too.

  116. Uhg, I hate these.

  117. Shelley, sorry, I missed that post. I agree, MJ should be legal. I am one of those crazy libertarians when it comes to drugs actually so I think all drugs should be legal, but pot especially, it is the least harmful drug imaginable health-wise, and when you get fucked up with it, it just makes you sit there going ‘duuuuuuuuuuuuuude…. do you realize we’re sitting on our ASSES? Which are like, DONKEYS? And Donkey Kong was a MONKEY?’
    Ok so in my case it is pretty damn hard to tell the difference.

  118. So you’re saying her boyfriend is stupid, too? Wow, that’s just mean.

  119. It is mad2, very broken. Ugh…he just looked at it, OG. No dice, but thank you anyways for the help. :)

    Soup, I’m sorry your penis is filled with clowns, but I would have thought you to be more slap-happy with them inside. But you’re too busy honking yourself..

  120. tojeem, some of those commenting? Yeah, me too.

  121. I wasn’t saying her boyfriend is stupid. I was saying that the stereotype of asians being able to work with technology is likely to be false because I know the one about their math skills is false. I happen to have met smart people from every race as well, just not nearly as many as the idiots. I was also saying that the stereotype of them having abnormally miniscule cocks is probably false as well although I haven’t made a personal investigation of this.
    Sorry word that we can’t be adequately entertaining for you.

  122. True, I do love honking off. I only wish I was lonely and bi-polar so I could truly “rage” on my junk. Sadly though, I have to get by on being well adjusted and masturbating like a normal person.

  123. word’s just hungover and pissy from it, it seems. oh, and that we’re annoying her into hating us.

    Soup, what’s normal masturbation like? Does it feel like God pouring out of your giant soupy wang noodle?

    I agree mad2, there are smart and dumb people of every race, and there are small cocks and large cocks from every race…as strange as that sounds, you get the idea I mean to portray.

  124. Keona, what exactly is broken?
    It seems to me that rage wanking would not be a pleasant experience.
    A quote from some girl in a FMM situation: ‘All of a sudden I was staring at a big white one and a little black one. It was like an episode of mythbusters.’

  125. Star Trek kicks Star Wars’ ass.
    Being drunk is nice, but it doesn’t hold a candle to being stoned, so yes, MJ should be legalized.
    I’ll participate in that spanking.
    French Toast is the shit.
    And.
    This post was not funny.

  126. mad2..I was referring to “I imagine this also means the ‘in the pants’ stereotype is broken on numerous occasions too.”
    Actually if you’re angry and want to feel good, masturbation feels great. You brain releases endorphines from the pleasure center of the brain. :D If you’re feeling any negative emotion, or physical pains (i.e muscle) just have a wank, and you’ll end up pain free and in a happy mood.

    Just agreeing with you about the intelligence and penis size stereotype to be broken.

    @polsvoice it was, slightly.

  127. Keona, have you ever cried during or after orgasm?

  128. Ah, ok Keona… I thought perhaps you meant the drug laws. Now I’m pissed about them. So I’m focused on them.
    French toast is the shit. Especially cinnamon FT. BUT – it sucks corroded monkey balls when it is made with whole grain breads.

  129. What the hell? No..why would I?

  130. Yeah, pols, that is an odd question… do you make women cry after you give them an orgasm?

  131. I’m out. G’night, mad2, pols. Soup, whatever other jabs and mockery you want to throw at me, go for it. It’s nothing new that I haven’t heard before. ;) Have at thee, en garde! So long as you all can tolerate and accept me, which seems to have been the case thus far. Thanks. :D

    word, I hope you feel better. Lots of sleep and liquids aid in me recovering from a hangover.

  132. Man I’m drunk…
    I’m not sure where I was going with that question. Something about endorphines and shit…

  133. Oh, Soup’s just spouting the general stereotypes. I’m sure we’ve all thought them before!
    And
    pols is right, this post was not funny. It wasn’t even close to funny. In fact if I had to define the opposite of funny via concrete example, I would use this post.
    word, I find that going on my hands and knees and putting my forehead down against a pillow helps a hangover.

  134. It takes me multiple internet sessions just to skim through this drivel – how the fuck do you people find the time to write it? Go for a walk. Call your mother. Go invent something.

  135. Walter, how do you find the time to read it, let alone bless us with your oh-so-enlightening advice? You should be off advising the UN or something with this level of wisdom. Be off with thee, less thy talents should continue to go wasted! Tarry not, but let thy golden tongue proclaim forth its heavenly speech where ’tis needed most!

  136. Holy moly..

  137. Walter, never challenge a nerd in its natural habitat. Just back away slowly and remember to maintain eye contact. At a safe enough distance shout “Ooh is that Leonard Nimoy?” and then run like hell while the nerd is distracted.

  138. I’ve never actually seen Star Wars, but I’m told this is an acurate representation of it. Score.

  139. Peds m’dear, I’d like to point out that the species you are referring to is in fact a ‘geek’ and not a ‘nerd’.

    That said, you all need to find a hobby. Perhaps pick up a sport, or learn a new language, or go all out, walk up to a stranger and start up an inane conversation about why Star Trek is better than Star Wars. (Which it isn’t.) Have fun!

    Oh and mad2, I’m pretty sure Soup was being sarcastic earlier.

    Lots of Love,
    Junie.

  140. Oh god, let’s not start the nerd v Geek nomenclature debate.

  141. Mmm, I have have already stated none of my buds want to hang, or are too busy. I don’t like to go out and party hardy by myself. Who wants to see a movie alone? Or play a game of pool against them self? Alone is boring and, so, I’m being an antisocial geek. We’re sorry we write too much for all you guys’ tastes.

    That said, you have the choice of not to read it if it’s so bothering. If you must know, I’ve lost interest in all former hobbies. When I figure out how to regain that interest, you’ll be the first ones to know. :D

    Soup, I forgive you, you’re still my favorite choice for when I’m ill and need some hot liquid down my throat.

  142. Er, obviously Soup was being sarcastic, perhaps it wasn’t clear I grasped this.
    June, I have numerous other hobbies, they just happen to mostly be of the sort that involve me being near my laptop, and I may as well entertain myself via inane web-posting simultaneously.
    Also, whereas Walter is consistent in his criticism, you, june, have participated in such inane posting quite frequently in the past and gone so far as to engage in email discussion with other individuals from LB… so… you are either sarcastic or rather hypocritical.
    Wow, I’m writing rather acerbically today.
    Pedantic, in keeping with your name I would think you would be all over a nerd vs. geek debate.

  143. Keona, blah.

    mad2, I’m coming for you. Later, buddy boy.

  144. I’m terribly confused word. And was that meant to be a double entendre?

  145. Walter, I used to wonder the same. Mostly just in general as far as Lamebook comment-conversations are concerned. In FB I can understand because you’re always getting instant notifications that people are keeping up on a conversation in whatever odd place. But here I always wondered how people keep up on their conversations here without constantly checking through each of the most recent posts. It was hard enough for me catching up on all the LB posts themselves at first. I never bothered with even looking at the comments for a long time. Then I figured, people must spend all day on here in order to carry on a lengthy conversation.

    I guess I’m one of the few who likes Star Trek and Star Wars about an equal amount. If one outweighs the other to me I would have to say ST. But that doesn’t mean I dislike SW. *shrugs* So, I’m definitely not a geek for either of them, but I also don’t hate either of them as much as some people do.

    Also, how do you make bold text on here? Is it bbcode?

  146. mad2, ease up. I was speaking with all the affection in the world. Like when someone spends an entire weekend doing nothing but beating Pokemon Crystal with one Pidgey and a bunch of hacks, and then tells their friend he has no life for doing the same but with a Koffing of some shit Pokemon like that.

    Peds, you’re afraid to start because you’ll lose. Nyahhh

    (Shelley, it’s HTML code thingies.)

  147. *or

  148. june, I loved that example. It made my day. :)

  149. wow, this thread made me really nostalgic for when i was a virgin.

  150. Uhhg these are so stupid and annoying. Yes, movie characters using Leet speak and IM abbreviations…hilarious. This wasn’t bad but the premise is just so stupid that there is no getting past it.

  151. Shelley, even with instant notifications, you still have to check the page. With LB comments you have to check the page and press reload. Not much different.
    Vincent, I’m sure your girlfriend is nostalgic for when you were a virgin too.

  152. mad2physicist, you are correct in your assumption that i am a disappointing lover. for all my swaggering braggadocio on the anonymous forums of the internet, i am but a meek and repellent individual with the sex appeal of a neutered iguana. i came here to humbly kneel before thou, o virile master, and ask you to instruct me in the art of love. in exchange, i will offer you my goblin-wrought battleaxe, as well as a magic amulet which enables the bearer to understand the nuances of irony.

  153. vincent, I can’t help but observe that whilst you are annoying like a typical troll, as they do on purpose, you’re also one with a humorous side. Quite strange to me, but you actually seem the first tolerable troll I’ve met thus far.

  154. I’m with Keona on this one, the iguana is one of the sexiest animals around. And it makes no difference if you’re trying to reproduce or just wanting to have a bit of fun.

  155. Vincent, I care not for goblin-forged battleaxes. I insist my equipment be forged by the dvergar or gnomes. And I think you need that amulet more than I do.

  156. Exactly, Walter, there are many options and places to stick that tail..

  157. i dun git it

  158. this entry is 0% lame. 100% win

  159. Novayshun, are you intending to make your name a phonetic pronunciation of Novatian, leader of the early christian rigorist sect?

  160. You retart, I’m pretty sure his name means “No way, hon(ey)” but with a Russian accent.

    That is sarcasm. The real point is “Who gives a fuck?” And also “Fuck off!”

  161. keona, congratulations on identifying me as one of my favourite literary tropes: the lovable rogue. i’m flattered by the acclaim, if not exactly surprised – i’ve always been something of a crowd pleaser.

    mad2physicist, i must sadly accept your decision not to grant me one-on-one tuition in the arcane arts of wooing. i will have to keep hovering over your shoulder in the vain hope that some of your amorous expertise will rub off on me.

  162. Vincent, congratulations on being identified as an example one of your favourite tropes.
    Also, if you’re already able to please a whole crowd, I don’t know what you expect to learn from me anyway.

  163. During the making of Star Whores: The New Poke, Leorge Gucas and I would often entertain ourselves by forcing the cast into having wanking competitions.

    We would get them to have a race to see who could fill up an pint glass first, without using any Force….. Unfortunately this unauthorised porn remake and mild sexual abuse led to us being prosecuted in four countries and we’ve been on the run ever since.

  164. Now I’ve never been interested in Star Wars, but this sounds like my cup of tea. Any spare copies lying around anywhere?

  165. this is hilarious!

  166. I just hate these fake posts. End comment.

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