Friday, January 7, 2011

A Mary Welcome!

previous post: Say “Uncle!”



  1. LOL!

  2. Whatever happened to malteaser?

    You out there?

  3. How are KFC and Taco Bell ‘minority food places’?

  4. black people work at kfc(at least where i live they do) and i guess mexicans work at taco bell? minorities.

  5. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Because black people supposedly love fried chicken and Taco Bell serves food that barely count as Mexican food.

    I love the awesome turn that Mary’s first status took.

  6. bollywood_rocks83

    That ending was awesome! Poor Mary went from ecstatic to sad in like 3 hours! Kellen should’ve given her the house tour of Facebook:drama,drama and more drama.

  7. I’ve been keeping up with Lamebook for a while now and have never posted a comment (although I read them all and usually I am more entertained from them than the actual posts), but for this one I have to say I laughed my ass off, awesome ending

  8. I need more friends like Eugene.

  9. friedchickenisha

    This has to be one of the best post I’ve seen in a very long time.

  10. Classic. Pure Classic LB. I very much enjoyed this post!

  11. Mass…Malt’s been gone for a good long time. I wonder what happened to her?

  12. ..married mcowles’ daughter, alord?

    adopted Walter?

  13. Mary, don’t complain. This is the kind of facebook I wish I had!

  14. malt might still be around – perhaps using another name? Somebody else married mccowles, but it wasn’t alord.

    Me too, curly, me too. You screwed up another post today, hey? Funny girl.

  15. Now that was a funny post. Awesome.

  16. mccowles’ daughter, alord, haha. I read you wrong, mass. That’s funny.

  17. word, we can’t keep having this type of mis-communication. I’ll have to actually get a facebook account.

  18. where do you meet people like this? the most drama i have on my facebook is the same 5 people breaking up all the time.

  19. I so agree. You do that, mass, and get back to me…

  20. Thanks word, I’m at the Tuggeranong ‘airport’. See you ina bit.

  21. I have no idea what you’re talking about, mass. Damn that miscommunication.

  22. I love a good romance so I’m paying attention. But I have no idea either lol

  23. Come on guys, I’d like to head off to bed knowing that you guys finally get together. It’s like one of those soaps you just can’t turn off.

  24. You’ll probably have to wait a bit longer, curly. Knowing mass, he’s probably fallen asleep again drunk out in the snow or something. In true soapie style, this thing could go on forever.

    Oh, try this link to practice your HTML tagging. You won’t cock it up again, haha…

    Enjoy your sleep.

  25. You’re so sweet … thanks wordy (if I may). Let me be the first to know about buying a hat and all that ;)

  26. The more Erin talks, the dumber she looks. Kudos to you, Erin!

  27. mass and wordpervert, do you think you could take your mawkish romance somewhere else? i’m trying to offend people here, and having to read your awkward courtship ritual is slightly off-putting, not to mention nauseating.


  28. curly, you may. Buying a hat? Now you’re getting as cryptic as mass. Anyway, it’s time to rest. Doctor’s orders.

    vincent, fuck you very much.

  29. It smells like a fake to me.

    btw what’s wrong with fucking someone who works at KFC / Taco / whatever?

  30. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I gotta agree with Vince here guys, Word I need to know exactly what you are tickling with your finger under Mass and Mass where do you plan to stick your finger when Word is done with the tickling?

  31. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    … Is anybody even using tongue?

  32. Poor Mary.

    I see Lamebook has removed the ability to change user nickname so does that mean know more identity confusion? Kind of a shame.

  33. *no more

  34. Dukey, are you drunk, buddy? What the? But really, if mass would like to take this elsewhere, I’m sure he could work out a way to do so.

    mb, yes it does mean that (for now), but no, it’s not a shame.

  35. Kellan is either gay for inviting his mom into his FB life, or he’s a genius for probably signing her up as her Christmas gift and thus getting off not spending any money…

  36. wiw..
    poor mary..
    im new here…
    took me 10 mins to find the register button another 5 mins to find the log in button..

  37. I’d imagine it’s not the fucking someone who works there thing, rather the whole cheating on her husband thing… in fairness if i had a husband and he banged any other woman i’d flip out! so i’m gonna say that knowing it was someone working in taco bell/ kfc was just like rubbing salt in the wounds.

  38. Whoa, seriously @cane, that was indeed stupidly hard.

  39. You’re welcome.

  40. @zoonga IKR?? im just exaggerating at my first comment.. as you know im new here i just noticed something different.. unlike other sites that has noticeable register buttons.. this one seems to hide it.. correct me if i am wrong.. so you can call me CaneHardnoob XD
    sorry if i might have written all of this wrongly.. English is not my primary Language..

  41. I kind of like the burgeoning romance on here. It adds a sort of sweet aftertaste on the brine that forces it way upwards on a regular basis when I partake in the “lamebook’. Not complaining, mind you…

  42. Sorry to have nauseated you vincent, hope you didn’t puke semen all over your keyboard.

  43. Why haven’t Erin and Mike blocked each other?

  44. no mass, i did not puke semen all over my keyboard. what exactly are you implying? is this your way of asserting your hetero-normative masculinity by being subtly homophobic?

    and i’m no expert on breeding females, but i’m fairly sure that most of them aren’t impressed by that sort of crass imagery. probably not a good idea to bring up the whole spunk-vomit thing over carbonara on a first date.

    good luck though mate – sounds like you’ll need it!

  45. You misspelled “but i’m a fairy “

  46. now that’s more like it, the ladies love a bit of witty repartee. i’ll try and remember that joke. i’m a fairy – that is comic genius right there.

    remind me though, is mass short for massive cunt or are you just a fatty fatty boom boom?

  47. Fat where it counts.

  48. ..guffaw

  49. Hi word..

    Vincent, get a bucket.

  50. throwing up semen is not a laughing matter, you don’t realize how much it burns coming out your nose.. :(

    Things that aren’t fun to throw up:
    spaghetti sauce

    Things that are fun to throw up.
    Ice cream

  51. I once ate 50 oranges as a bet with my cell mates.

  52. sounds like mass has a crusty screen….

    and hot dogs are by far the worst thing to throw up…

    best thing for dramatic effect? tomato juice…. lots of it

  53. … just nicotine and semen?

  54. im afraid of what else there could be…

  55. I was completely on Erin’s side, thinking that the harassers were just proving her point, until KFC came into the picture.

    And Mary’s reaction is priceless.

  56. mass, I can’t take “credit” for comment #47 because it’s not me. It kind of sounds like me, but not quite. And I wouldn’t write it like that either. LB shuts down one way to prevent the name-stealing, and then someone finds another way to do it. Well aren’t you a clever dick? You’ve got nothing better to contribute than to pose as someone else? Well as long as you’re having fun it, buddy.

  57. But I’m sure #47 is right.

  58. oh, for sure

  59. I agree with jr888. This is probably fake.

  60. My link‘s not even right. Play the game, kids. Can’t hide my love for the real wordpervert.

  61. #60 word, ok, I wouldn’t normally, but I’ll play because I’m slightly curious and a lot bored. What I meant was #47 is probably (hopefully) right about mass. And your link is right, so huh? That aside, I really don’t get how posting as me is fun for you. Now if you had multiple accounts with multiple personae, I could see the fun and cleverness in that. So what is the aim? To anger me? Confuse other commenters? Show LB how crappy their software is that it continues to allow this to happen? Enlighten me, buddy.

  62. Holy shit, wordy, you used the correct plural of ‘persona’. The pedant within me wants to roll you in flour and look for the wet spot.

  63. Isn’t I Love You reason enough?

    I’m an admirer, not an attacker!

  64. Pep are you saying Word is morbidly obese?

  65. No, I just repeat jokes I’ve heard elsewhere without understanding their proper context. But that makes sense now that you mention it.

    Uh oh, wordy, you have unleashed pandora’s box via your conversation with slippy…

  66. Pep, that’s gross. And yes, Spanka, that is the very offensive implication. What is it with a couple of you boys on this thread? First, Dukey, and now you, Pep. You know I like the occasional bit of dirty talk, but there are limits.

    #63 word, fair enough. It wouldn’t be a way I’d show my admiration for someone on LB, but whatever works for you, guy/girl.

    Mama, LB’s sure been a crazy ol’ joint of late…

  67. What are you talking about, Pep?

  68. Dammit, I was trying to do the strike through you said didn’t work that one day that I saw work somehow. What technology crap!

  69. Is this how it is done?

  70. Arrgh, it does not cooperate

  71. ..your penis?

  72. Pep, it works like this.

  73. But my plan was start with that and fail to close it, making all the further comments look like that.

  74. Pep, you didn’t answer my question. What conversation I had with slippy?

  75. Ah! Wait, it was curly. It was the time when you wrote about about not closing tags.

  76. You’re just that cool word! Everyone wants a piece..

  77. Grossest thing to throw up = seafood and beer.

  78. I miss Keona. And MEG. And Wannabe_Grammarnazi. And the fat Anna. Where are you bitches?

  79. Grossest thing to throw up = soup.

  80. word, the most likely thing is that your creepy “admirer” changed his nickname to match your name before lamebook removed the nickname field. He wouldn’t be able to change it to anything else now on that account. (That’s why I immediately changed my name back after I wrote about the admin page.)

    So if you create a new name people shouldn’t be able to copy it. But if you don’t want to change your name an avatar would help.

    LB could still fix the problem by going further and making the usename be used as the display name in all cases, rather than the using tgr nickname when it is set.

  81. Why are my posts awaiting moderation? Is it because I said nickname?

  82. But Spanka, it tastes so good going down.

  83. ad-min

  84. word, the most likely thing is that your creepy “admirer” changed his nickname to match your name before lamebook removed the nickname field. He wouldn’t be able to change it to anything else now on that account. (That’s why I immediately changed my name back after I wrote about the ad-min page.)

    So if you create a new name people shouldn’t be able to copy it. But if you don’t want to change your name an avatar would help.

    LB could still fix the problem by going further and making the usename be used as the display name in all cases, rather than the using tgr nickname when it is set.

  85. Walter, you’re a silly goof. But I love you, just the same.

  86. Your username could use some work, though.

  87. Zoned, Oxycontin is a great analgesic, but it’s very… numbing.

    Soup, fuck yes. Then it’d be a real Cuckoo’s Nest, with me as Nurse Ratched, of course.

    Walt, yeah, I thought that may have been the case. They were posting under my name on some early LB posts the other day (probably testing it out or whatever). I could change my name, I suppose, but I’ve kind of grown attached to it, as people do. And I could do the avatar thing, but I don’t know – they could just copy it, right?

  88. What the fuck?

  89. Also, I’m a chica Mr. Sobchak.

  90. Well, hello wordpervert.

  91. Word after your last 5 comments I feel like I’m on Oxy..

  92. Shut up, Spanka.

  93. Yeah, Spanka, shut up.

  94. No. Keep it going, guys.

  95. Will do, bombshell.

  96. Fuck off youse.

  97. Alrighty then, now it’s definitely medication time. Later, you loons.

  98. Ah, it’s good on you. Keep it up.

  99. Who you calling a loon? Fuck you word, and fuck you double with a razorblade dildo fake word!

  100. I’m not even trying, anymore.

    Regardless, thanks for the love, yoink and friend(s).

  101. Mammy’s little baby loves short’nin’, short’nin’,
    Mammy’s little baby loves short’nin’ bread.

  102. Good

  103. It’s like watching a robot self-destruct. Pills, pills, pills. Booze, too.

  104. I think you’ve got that backwards, kid. You’re the one self-destructing.

  105. This is the same yoink that developed a consistent language of silliness just for kicks. I wonder who the culprit is.

  106. You’re so intuitive, Pep.

  107. Evidemment, mais ça n’est pas pour me vanter…

    C’est qui, toi? La copie ou l’original?

  108. I meant yoink, not wordy.

  109. I am the one and sometimes. Are you the copycat?

  110. In that case, disregard.

  111. Are you playing with me or do you think also that there have been more copies than people believe?

  112. This is too much. I’m going now. Night night.

  113.’s called DNA retard! We’re all copies…

  114. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Holy shit, I thought I was drunk before but this is even crazier.

  115. I’d guess it’s the same retard who has three separate accounts with the three names.

    I don’t know if anybody cares, but when you right click the avatar and select properties you can see a randomly generated file name for the image. The file name does not change for the account.

    And even when you don’t have an avatar, there is still a placeholder there. If you select somewhere in the comments and drag down, you can see the boxes highlghted (assuming you are using IE or another browser that does the same thing.)

    So when I highlight the comments and then rightclick the box next to the real wordpervert i can see the file starts with “30b3.” The one for the loser says “7a9d.”

  116. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    To mass my geographically proximate friend and Word my hot nurse whose picture I didn’t get to see back when we all put up pictures of ourselves,

    As I was saying earlier, back in the day people used to complain about the amount of sex talk on Lamebook, now they are complaining about the amount of romance.
    I miss the old days when Slimjayz, ee, Word, Soup and co. would go to great lengths to describe the explicit sexual acts being (virtually) performed. I guess that means that I only half agree with Vincent our funny alleged troll.

    I hope this is clearer than my last comment, even though I am probably much more drunk.

  117. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I care Walt, I never thought of that.

  118. dukey smoothy buns, you misunderstand me. i was just a bit annoyed by the cloying mushiness of their flirtation. i’ve got nothing against a bit of real dirty talk, as long it isn’t blatantly just fat desperate virgins who don’t know their cloaca from their perineum.

    also, i’m not an alleged troll. i have long since distanced myself from that misleading label. i’m a real person, with real feelings and emotions. it’s about time the rest of you started treating me as such.


  119. Wo reading all these comment just melted my head.

  120. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Vince I would bet my left nut (nah, 2 nuts)that Word knows just how sensitive and “useful” a person’s perineum can be. She just hasn’t been using her awesome dirty talk on Mass for a while now.

    Also “alleged” means that it’s an allegation, hence no proof so, you may or may not be a troll. I still find you funny either way.

  121. @Dukey .. The Beer Store opens in 1/2 an hour! See you there..

  122. Walt, I don’t know how you work these things out. That is very cool. But I couldn’t see the properties using Chrome. I had to look using IE.

    Dukey, when you say it like that, I understand you completely. That pic I put up for 2 hours was headless. You didn’t miss much. I’m sure a lot of us would love to know what each other looks like. Now I could put up a pic, but there’d be no way to prove it was me. ee could vouch – she knows, but she’s no longer here. I miss her…

    When it comes to the dirty talk, we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t. Part of me misses the old days, too. But it was never that explicit – it was meant to be fun more than anything else. Also, I do get what vincent is saying. I’m really not much for mushy romance.

    One last thing. You get to hold onto your nuts. You’re right. I know.

  123. These conversations are the reason I created a LB account.

  124. If what you say is correct Walter, that is not the yoink who posted on July 1st 2010 or June 30th, and possibly earlier.

    However, it IS the same yoink who posted on July 8th, 2010.

    I really do think the turnover rate for actual users is much higher than the turnover rate for usernames attached to comments.

  125. My God! After looking at several threads with the multiple yoinks posting on the same days, it looks like there was a number of times in which the imposter yoink (by which I mean the yoink in this thread) was taken to be the real yoink and many users had called the authentic (the one not in this thread) the fake.

    That guy’s good.

  126. wow, people. That’s a new level of confusing. I should have kept it for Monday morning.
    Thanks for the tip, Walter

  127. People must really have no lives if they get their kicks from impersonating another user. I can just imagine this guy sitting in the musty and curtain-drawn bedroom of his one person flat, scratching his grimy Y-fronts and talking to his star trek figurines about how clever he is to be having a conversation with himself on LB under another person’s user name. He’s probably carving himself a little trophy out of twinkies as we speak.
    Now, thanks to Walter, we know how to tell the difference, so
    I guess it’s back to the drawing board for this guy.

  128. surreal…

  129. Who said it was a guy…?

  130. @ Bobbette, yeah I did consider that when I was writing my post, but when I rewrote it with guy/girl, his/her etc, it looked too long winded, so I just made an assumption with the acceptance that it could be wrong.

  131. Who’s the real loser here? The one scouring the site to figure all of this out? Or the one making a minor attempt to mock you all?

  132. Pep, could you post an example of one of yoink threads you’re referring to? I’m curious to see one, but not so curious that I’d go searching. Thanks in advance, buddy.

    siren, if I read your comment #127 imagining this person as female, it makes it quite hilarious.

  133. Thanks for that, Walter. I can see there are still children here on the site, and that the fakes are still here. I’ve been off this site for the past three or four days. Whoever has the time to make all these fake comments, clearly has no life.

    That, and I removed my picture. Take that in your fake pipe and stuff it, loser.

  134. @ Keona – how do you put a picture on your posts?

  135. Go to I don’t know if there is a limit to how many picture you can upload, but a click on the picture of your choice will set that one to show up.

  136. Oh, and Soup, love, I’m still right here, still being impersonated. Granted, the shit I say might be out there, but I never have said any of the trash up there.

    “Momma’s little baby loves shortnin shortnin’” etc
    what the fuck is that?! No.

  137. *sigh*. im so glad i’m not cool enough for that.

  138. This conversation made me dizzy, I had something witty to say but I lost it around the time word’s impersonator started getting impersonated by another impersonator.

  139. Dear Mary,

    Welcome to Facebook. Fuck you and all your children. Have a nice day.


    The General Populous.

  140. Oxycontin is pretty amazing wordy, I agree. I’m on 80mg right now, got my script today! How are you feeling by the wag? Better I hope :( want me to make you some soup? ;)

  141. By the way, nurse pride baby! Are you an RN?

  142. mmm, it does seem staged. however, you can’t disagree with the logic behind “if you didn’t want my friends to talk shit you should have thought about that before fucking a dude that works at kfc.”

  143. Fuck you Mike!

    I was that dude who worked at KFC, I couldn’t resist Erins’ Bargain Bucket offer. I tried but i was just too weak.

    If I really did work in KFC, there’d be Twelve secret ingredients on that fucking chicken… cum, it would be cum.

  144. Zoned, wow, 80mg? That amount would kill me. I am a-ok, thanks for asking. And you’re a mind reader! I had soup for dinner last night. Nurse pride baby? Is that similar to gay pride? But yeah, I am.

  145. Sweet Flying Spaghetti Monster, what in the blue hell happened in this comment section?

  146. If you were on 80mg of oxy you would be incapable of typing, much less understanding what you were typing.

  147. Not if you’ve been taking it for almost a year. Sorry bud, you’re not cool.

  148. Yeah definately not amazing.

  149. So, uhm… how about that screen cap? HI-larious stuff, huh?

  150. Haha this is so cool!!

  151. Dull

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