Friday, May 21, 2010

A Little Victory

previous post: Quick and Current



  1. Did I just Ben this entry?

  2. @ lamebook,

    Come on, these are shit. I can’t do anything with these.

  3. Well, ain’t that the darnedest thing!

    I feel like I’ve seen all of these posts already….

  4. Bry, don’t be a Ben.

  5. But gwang, I’ve heard such great things about Benism!

  6. So far, no comments about the post. That says it all to me.

  7. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    they were cute…not really hardy har har type posts. bleh.

  8. I died a bit inside. Good thing the rest of my day will be awesome.

  9. Side note re Justin Bieber though…

    I saw on the news a day or so ago, him hitting his head on a revolving door.

    I laughed.

  10. Patrick is Frodo.

  11. Bieb is Canadian, no? =/

  12. Bieber is Canadian…

  13. 3 Biebers in a day… this is getting bad.

    Why aren’t there anymore ‘lamesters’?

  14. CommentsAtLarge

    Sarah, they hacked you credit card and the worst you wish them is Farmville ill? You must be a better person than I, because I would have wished dysentery on them.

    Side note – Beiber is, no lie, up for a BET (Black Entertainment Television for those from other lands) award. When his name was announced, the room was silent except for: a few angered “what?!?”‘s, a couple gasps, and an undercurrent of laughter. No one thought it was serious. It was.

  15. CommentsAtLarge


    saw it as I clicked submit…

  16. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    I would’ve been one of those that snickered…

  17. Three! Three Justin Bieber jokes!
    Okay, the Fmylife comments page got five ‘women making sandwich’ jokes today, so if you can just get two more you’ll win the ‘Unoriginal Website of the Day’ Award! :D

  18. I liked the sexting on.

    Did he win the BET award or where was it announced?

  19. rockinghorsefly

    Sexting and Phoner made me giggle a little.

    I like that Sarah just wishes a Farmville famine on her credit card hacker!

  20. I didn’t know who Justin Bieber was so I googled him. He’s a white kid with bad hair no?

    And I agree Comments, dysentery would have been more in my mind too.

  21. I under-exaggerated, Fmylife had about thirty billion, the repetitive twats.

  22. word, I saw that as well. I almost cried I was so happy!

  23. Pishposh. Justin Bieber can’t be Hitler, he doesn’t know what German means.

  24. Sarah seems like an easygoing sort. Her and I could be friends. The continuous disappointment that is me wouldn’t phase her in the least.

    I thought Lady Gaga was the white Rupaul?

  25. Soup, I’ll go with you on that one. Rupaul about sums it up.

  26. Sorry Sarah, I have a bad habit of hacking others’ credit card info just for Farmville. But you have earned my gratitude, if that means anything at all.

    And many LOLs were had when I saw Justin Bieber getting owned by the door.

  27. @word: That’s the worst thing about these. Where do you, and ee, and Soup, and SensibleMadness and mcowles and all the other people who I feel bad about not naming in case I forget one, but there’s a lot of you, get any inspiration to make hilarious comments about the posts? Where I do I get ideas for my tumbleweed-inviting rants? Justin Bieber jokes? No way.

  28. British, I can’t speak for others, but I’ve been off my game, maybe it’s the posts? Who knows. Let’s you and I have a drink and talk about it?

  29. BritishHobo, most jokes are just recycled versions of the same old jokes, especially on Facebook where originality appears to be extremely lacking. There’s only so much you can work with in that framework.

    I find that the funniest comments are usually only tangentially related to the posts. Someone takes a little piece, and then creates their own story. Those folks have a knack for turning nonsense into hilarity. Some are more prolific than other, but it also seems that there is a high turnover rate for lamebook commenters.

    Personally, I love your hate. Your anger. If The Powers That Be actually started to post funny, clever, or thought-provoking submissions, then you wouldn’t have anything to say. And that my friend, would be lame.

  30. krasivaya_devushka

    Please don’t tell me you have to be a comedian to comment on Lamebook.

  31. @krasivaya_devushka

    Not at all. I’m pretty sure elixabeth is Dane Cook, so obviously humor is not a requirement to speak your mind.

  32. I don’t have a credit card, but I once got my visa hacked. Someone spent all my money on poker, I went to my bank, called the betting company, got all my money back.

    I’m too drunk to sleep. I have sandwiches. I had to do them myself. There’s a carneval in town, that only happens every fourth year. Yeay. I have to wake up in about five hours.

    All this is because of the local university whos students supply the town with about 30% of the population. Summmer sucks. Then it’s all empty here.

    I believe my english skills are fading. That’s bad. Aber ich habe ein bischen besser an Deutsch bekommen. Two of my friends are in Bangkok right now, there is fighting over there right now. Hope they’re all right. Ciao

  33. Something wicked this way comes. That’s what happens when you use too many languages in the same comment. Heretic! Burn him!

  34. Yeah whoa, about that; I wrote this realy long answer for you but I deleted it. Instead you should search for Lützenkirchen on youtube and watch the video for Drei(3) Tage Wach. If you dont like the song you should at least find the video quite amusing.

    And if you have a problem with foreign language I think there’s a translated version called 3 Days Awake. Still OK.

    Burn me? Well fuck you.

  35. Hey, I was in Germany for Oktoberfest last year. After 5 or 6 liters I ditched the Japanese girl I met and somehow ended up in a Russian whorehouse. My foreign tongue was quite the popular attraction. Now I have weeping sores, but my international cred should not be questioned.

  36. krasivaya_devushka

    0.o Russian whorehouse

  37. Soup? Why does it not surprise me that you ended up in a whorehouse? Kudos to you sir, hope you gave then a good go at it!

  38. eenerbl, that’s actually a true story. Other than the weeping sores part. Sadly, I did not partake in any Glastnost, as the Russian gangsters frightened me so much that my Rasputin shriveled like a vacuum-packed marshmallow.

  39. Oh, that’s no good Soup! I feel badly for your Rasputin, you should have taken your pleasures. Well, here’s to hoping you get another chance at it one day. I’m sure your foreign tongue would please them, it does quite a number on me at times.

    Cheers to you my Chicken Noodle, have a good night. I’m off. (In more ways then one.)

  40. Soup, you say Rasputin, I say Boney M.

  41. Or more accurately, I hear them.

    Good times.

  42. Cudos, I’ve managed to live in Germany but failed to get down to Bayern in October.

    Failed to get up at the wished hour, but now I’ll head back to the festivities. Ciao

  43. badasscooldude

    What’s so special about Bieber that everybody talks about him?
    Why are older women so attracted to teenage boys who didn’t drop their testicles yet? Why men even bother to notice him? Explain to me, please. Maybe it’s because I live far away, in a non-English speaking country…

  44. Men have been having boners for girls who haven’t got their periods or full boobs yet forever so don’t complain. He’s ok but I like Taylor Lautner better :)

  45. If only positive things were said about Bieber I would have never heard his name and I would be much happier.

    It’s pretty pathetic when you steal someone’s credit card and all you bother to use it for is farmville. I guess you would need cold hard cash to buy a meaningful existence.

  46. rebarbativebecc

    That Bieber/Hitler one doesn’t even remotely make sense…

  47. sadnesssweeter

    The Bieber/Hitler one makes absolute sense if you know the incredibly idiotic story behind it.

    In an interview Justin Bieber said didn’t know what “German” meant. Then he went on to say they don’t use that word in America–even though he is from Canada. Then he proceeded to tweet that he thought the interviewer said “Jewman” even after seeing the word German written on a card in front of his face during the interview.

  48. sadnesssweeter

    *said he

  49. Yeah, about that…

  50. Justin Beaver, as I like to call him, sucks and needs a haircut. :)

  51. I giggled pretty hardcore at the ‘.’ one. But I’m a literary nerd, so that would be why. And the phoner one made me smile. But….the rest fell flat. Sorry Lamebook.

  52. krasivaya,
    He may have given himself a trim the other day when he smashed his head into that door, or at the very least, a large headache.

    Hope so.

  53. Shubaduwa. Wuao. Everything started out good, but then i found myself in a doorm room trying to buy beer from a guy(gay) who wanted me to do stuff on his couch and let him videorecord it.

    I payed cash and drank the beer in a cab on the way home. The cab driver was pretty cool, we talked about the documentary from NY about people telling strange stories in cabs.

    He had some of the beer.

    On the way home I also went by my friends house, he never locks his door. I played some dart but he woke up pretty fast.

  54. Com on guyz, dont make funn of justin lol hes hawt! his music rly speeks to me. i can rel8 to it cuz i too am ocaisonly in a relationship that ends less than favorbly. everytime i see him i go moist and screem, in that order.

    *Just so we’re clear here, that relaxed spelling was a joke. I could never post something like that without a disclaimer.

  55. Walter Sobchak

    wtf is wrong with you people?

  56. Vacuum packed marshmallow was the funniest thing in this post. I see I haven’t missed much in these last few days.

    Blaz, you really had me going. I thought you were Miley there for a minute.

  57. given that it’s one of those particularly slow weekends, allow me to ask a question that’s been fluttering at the edges of my lamebook consciousness for weeks now. it’s the question that dare not speak its name….

    it’s nothing to do with bumming – i was just wondering if any other avid lamebook regulars are, like me, not on facebook.

    now i’ve got over the initial confessional sense of shame, i’m interested to know if there’s anyone else out there.

  58. No shame in it. Be glad that you aren’t one of the cattle that have been whored out to society. Everybody and apparently there mom to have jumped on Facebook. Now recently my ex, which was a huge mistake on my part to accept her friend request. Although I am debating on submitting her message to me.

  59. alordslums (like the name, by the way},

    Yes it’s been the slowest weekend on lamebook that I can remember, with almost nothing to comment on regarding the posts. After a weekend work conference, and shitty weather to boot, to have no lamebook laughs, has been disappointing.

    With regard to your comment about not being on facebook, I can say as a user, for the most part, you’re not missing anything.

    A handful of people on my list of friends make it interesting and funny, but the remainder bore me stiff with their mindless updates and other stuff (there is a block option, thank God).

    Photo sharing is a plus, as are a couple of blogs I’m in on, so there are some good things, but for me, facebook WILL actually become useful in the near future as a tool to keep in touch with a loved one who is leaving to live in Europe for 2 years.

    So alord, get out of the confessional box, wash off any residual shame, and be proud you’re not buying cows.

  60. Submitting her message to Lamebook.*

  61. HeSaid, go on, send it in, but you have to keep in mind that by current lamebook standards, if it’s too good, it most likely won’t make it on here.

    But if she’s mentioned Justin Bieber, you’ll be in with a shot.

  62. This is true, but if she did mention him I wouldn’t send it in for the fact that I don’t think I could do that to you guys.

  63. lol

  64. I had the attitude of never wanting to join Facebook until I got pressured into it by my friends who said it would be a lot easier to keep in touch. So I’ve had it for about 4 months now, and I only have the closest friends and relatives and people that I actually know in real life on my friends list. Most of them live in Europe, so it’s a lot easier to keep in touch, but lately I’ve actually been thinking about deleting mine forever and never bothering with it again. Some of the relatives are annoying with the “wow look at you all grown up; when are you getting married?” talk and some of the friends changed for the worst. I haven’t seen them in 8 years, but apparently not all of them missed me as much as I’ve missed them. I also can’t stand having to see all the crap they post on there and the games they play. I told them they’re are virtual peasants and that I hope their animals die and their farms burn down and blocked *that* and every single application that is known to me thus far. Oh, and the only page I’m a fan of is Lamebook, ’cause you know… :)

  65. I told them they’re all *

    Oooops me.

  66. ^^^This is why Facebook can be annoying.

  67. I weep on the weekends.

  68. i was on it for two years whilst i was a student. i’ve now been ‘clean’ for 3 years. i figured the people i actually care about, i can just text, call or email; for that matter they can me, if they actually care about me.

    i hated the 200 messages on your birthday from absolute chaff, i hated seeing people’s weekly 300 blurred photos of an ‘epic’ night out – even worse people’s albums along the lines of ‘me in paris’, which featured about 140 photos of the same inane pose of people in front of different monuments or eating baguettes – sort of labouring the small beer point they want to make about the fact that they went to paris, using every single item of cultural baggage and heritage possible to show they’re cool enough and rich enough to go. and the fact that it becomes a time vampire – the fact that YOU, the detached, aloof bystander becomes sucked into its world, sitting with eyes watering glued to the screen at 3am and you’re looking at someone called xeniya ulitskaya’s photos thanks to a long and piffling chain of chance, boredom and desperation. and the fact that it slowly and insidiously encroaches on ‘reality’ and tries to displace it.


    yeah, slow weekend.

  69. It’s nice to see a reformed Facehooker. At least you didn’t try to snort the letters off the screen.

  70. Oh dear. You’re not a fan of anything, you are wishing death on all your friends and your relatives are showing an interest in your life. It makes me wonder what you actually DO on facebook, aside from hate the world :/

  71. 1) Hello everyone!
    2) Has some kind of apocalypse occurred in lamebook hq?…il y a pas d’update pour trois jours man!

  72. oh and while I’m here.
    I’ve NEVER had a facebook account.
    I don’t want one and find the whole thing to be bullshit curdling detestable self-promotion.. I find those friends in far off places can’t be bothered to write me emails or reply in an old-fashioned personal way because they’ve already posted that sh!t on facebook…and where the fuc8 was I?..not looking at a monitor IVd up to facebook that’s where.
    I’m still proud of my status but the ‘book is creeping into real life and distorting it chums..

    PS agree with all that krasivaya and alordslums said..

  73. Fred, can you read? Or do I have to draw it for you? I said I hope their animals die on that stupid game Farmville. I was being sarcastic anyways. Never did I wish death on anyone; that’s just not me. And I’m not emo to hate the world. And as for what I do on there, I log in to check messages, leave a few comments here and there and chat with friends/relatives when I got the time.
    As for joining random groups and pages, no thanks. I don’t need to do that to define myself or that I like this or that…lol

    So, zatkni yebalo please :)

  74. …or prove that I like this or that *
    Ugh, my English has been failing me these past few days >.<

  75. hahaha…poor sarah..

  76. I just wanted the 69th comment….cause I’m mature like that :D I actually quite agree with you on the games and shit. But luckily I only have like 2-3 friends who play any of the games and they only go on facebook like twice a week.

  77. Kras I think that you’re doing pretty good compared to most people. Mainly the ones that use English as a First language.

  78. Thanks! :)

  79. wowzers…i remember when #5 happened…that tickled me quite a bit lol

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