Friday, November 12, 2010

A Little More Win

previous post: Background Checks!

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49 Comments

  1. jesus christ was gay

  2. Alex’s was a win! The other ones not so much. What’s with the nickelback jokes and dislike?

  3. So many people dislike it because they’re partially deaf.
    Mildly entertaining ones.

  4. Alex’s was an old one…I liked the Leeds Middle School one better

  5. 1 and 3 were good. Is there something I’m missing about 2? Because I didn’t think it was funny at all. And 4 is just dumb because that’s not even the reason people wear white and the analytical side of me was annoyed by that.

  6. No 2. I’m not from the US, so, is the pledge obligatory?

    So does every pupil have to swore to that he/she is loyal to the US?

  7. All the brides should wear black because, ypu know, ‘my bum does not look big in it’.

    Black was the usual colour for brides in Finland until 1930′s.

  8. Yeah, why is 2 funny?

    @jr888 – I live in Cali and we always had to say the pledge of allegiance with our hands over our hearts, facing the flag. Seemed normal at the time, but after your comment, it does sound very cultish. Hmmm, perhaps I should reevaluate my education…

  9. Im confused…

    #1… Is he or was he?

  10. @jr… no, it’s not obligatory, but there’s a substantial camp of people that think it should be and who are upset that kids “don’t know” it… it was kind of funny though…
    @fleur… lol, you have a point.

  11. Since kids are taught the Pledge by rote it might as well be in Chinese as far as the meaning is concerned.

  12. So what do the kids that don’t say the pledge do during this? Do they just sit or what?

  13. I will never get tired of Nickelback jokes. Here’s a good one from a great comedian, Neil Hamburger:

    Q: What do you get when you place a penny in the asshole of each of the 5 members of the Backstreet Boys?

    A: Nickelback.

    So good. So good.

  14. I do not think that the pledge is said everyday in school. # 2 was most likely posted yesterday, Veteran’s Day as a sort of Thank you to the Veteran’s. It may also explain why the middle school student didn’t know what to do.

  15. bollywood, people have a tendency to measure their standing in the world by comparing themselves to other people. They often use arbitrary measures which are related to the ways they define themselves and others and help them feel better about themselves. They also often seek reinforcements for these arbitrary measures.

    For example – I think smart people are better than stupid people. I think I’m smart, so I am better than stupid people. When I look at lamebook I see there are a lot of stupid people, so I must be better than a lot of people. The other commenters on lamebook seem to agree with me. Our little group of people is better than other people.

    Or – I think people with good taste are better than people with bad taste. I think I have good taste and I hate Nickelback, Justin Bieber, Twilight, and Harry Potter. All the people who like those have bad taste and they are probably fat idiot Americans who go to walmart and say the pledge of allegiance etc etc

  16. #13, so not. So not.

    I pledge my allegiance to Walter.

  17. the last one actually made me really lol

  18. This site has a awful aura…. It feels like pain an suffering has has taken a great toll here, no wait I Feel more.. I feel shame, lots of shame…. it must be burned, all of this site must be burnt, you need to confess to your sins lamebook.

  19. @ Walter, wouldn’t most people who have those tastes be teenage girls or just out of teens women rather than the fat rednecks of walmart?

    I too have the same dislikes, I’m not a violent person but when I hear some-one saying how great Twilight is or they love that little fag Bieber, all I want to do is punch them on the nose!

  20. The second and last one are lame, though, Alex’s is only really lame because that joke is older than dirt.

  21. I think brides should wear black because it looks good.
    I strongly oppose the brainwashing of little children into saying the pledge of allegiance to the United Corporations of America.

  22. Recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance is not obligitory, but you *will* often get crazy-assed “patriots” (rednecks) who think if you choose to not recite the pledge, then you obviously hate America, and “Why don’t you just leave the country if you hate it so much?!”

    I have a friend, whose son (Will Phillips, he was in the news quite a bit about a year ago) refused to recite the pledge because of the “With liberty and justice for all” part, because really, there isn’t liberty and justice for all. His regular teacher didn’t care one way or the other, but a sub came in and told him he had to. He refused, and ended up getting suspended, which is a violation of his Constitutional rights, and upheld by the Supreme Court.

    Needless to say, it caused quite a stir, inciting verbal conflicts between those who think it should be required, and those that recognize *forcing* someone to pledge their allegience to ANYTHING really go against the purpose altogether.

    So really, though it’s not required, you are generally frowned upon as un-American if you do not. Though, as I recall, we only said the allegience on Mondays in elementary school, and never said it at all from junior high through high school.

    It’s pretty much reserved for little kids and sporting events, it seems like.

  23. @nexus – I was so serious.

  24. White=purity. They wear white because they are supposed to be virgins.

    Alex fails.

  25. No, MsBuzzkillington fails.

    The white wedding dress is a fairly new tradition that started with Queen Victoria. When she got married, she wore white not to symbolize purity or virginity or innocence but to symbolize wealth. Traditionally, a wedding dress was any good dress you had of any color. Queen Victoria chose to wear white because she wanted to convey wealth and class–most people didn’t have the money to buy one ornate dress that they would only wear once in their life.

  26. Queen Victoria’s bedroom walls were plastered with posters of Justin Bieber. That fucking whorebag.

  27. The idea of wearing white to advertise your virginity is pretty damn vulgar.

  28. @MsBuzz – Then why did they let me wear white?

  29. @Walter, you suck and Harry Potter is awesome. But yeah all the other things on your list are bad.

  30. christ. was the 50 cent one set up? because that was an AWESOME punchline.

  31. Haha I submitted the nickelback one :D feelin’ proud.

  32. Also to those who are asking, the pledge isn’t something you *have* to do but most people do it, at my school we do it every day. Even the ones who don’t alteast stand up if not put their hand over their hearts. I’m pretty sure it’s like that over the whole country. You are taught it from the moment you start school and it’s a bit of a ritual. Although it does sound kind of cultish, like someone else said, when you think about it O.o but it’s what we do haha.

  33. “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.”

    -George Bernard Shaw.

  34. The pledge of allegiance is indeed a cult thing. We are taught from an early age to conform to something that we are too young to understand.

    Plus: we aren’t pledging allegiance to a country, we are pledging allegiance to a piece of tattered cloth in a school that doesn’t teach us how to think, just how to conform.

    Man, I wish I could afford to take up the “Love it or leave it” jerks on their offer. But I live here, and wasn’t born rich or lead a money-grubbing corporation, so I’m stuck here. Damn.

  35. @Walter Sobchak
    Shame on you for saying Harry Potter. Maybe the films are shit because of the bad acting, but the books are good. It is actually written well, unlike Twilight which everybody says is written pretty poorly.

  36. It seems to me that instead of a morning prayer, which is usually said by pupils in my country (those who belong to church, that is evangelical lutheran church, about 85 % of the people. But even for them it’s voluntary), Americans say the pledge. It’s a kind of a religion, this belief in the USA?

    How many of US citizens believe that the US is the best country in the world? And why does it “have” to be the best? Wouldn’t it be ok if it was like as good as the second one?

    I don’t think my country is the best in the world, but i still love it. And i would probably die for it. But i don’t have to say some pledge for it. It’s a free country you know, everyone says what they want.

  37. @29 & 35,

    My two examples were not necessarily expressing my personal opinion but rather to be examples of the way people generally think. With that said, I’d have to admit I’m sure a part of me agrees with some my first example (but not my second example).

  38. In TX you are required to say it (well you can not say it, but you have to sit there and listen as everyone else says it and you have to have a religious problem or be from another country) as well as the TEXAS pledge AND a moment of silence.
    -.-

  39. I wouldn’t have any problems with the original pledge of allegiance, which did not include “under god”. Neglecting that single line makes it a perfectly proud display of patriotism. When the government added “under god” to the pledge in the 50′s, they were muddying it up. Now instead of swearing your allegiance to America, you’re also displaying pride for mono-theism. It’s a church/state violation and downright disgusting.

  40. I object to any requirement that a person, whether a child or not, must pledge their allegiance to a nation.
    My allegiance belongs to no one but myself. If I think a nation does something stupid, I’m not going to go along with it regardless of what nation it is. I am anti-nationalist and anti-patriotic.

  41. Hm. I don’t really see why so many people are against pledging allegiance to their country.
    I mean, if you were born in any industrialized nation, like USA or others, you should be proud and happy that you were so fortunate.

    Really people. stop complaining. There is nothing wrong with being patriotic about where you came from, and where you were born, and where you grew up, and where your life takes place. :)

  42. Patriotism has nothing to do with mindlessly reciting a bunch of meaningless words. It’s a culture fetish at best, but it is not patriotism.

  43. I remember having to do the pledge through elementary school and i think part of the way through Junior High. At some point we just stopped. We were just happy we didn’t have to stand up that early in the morning any more.

    As for whether or not it was voluntary, I don’t think it was. It was a long time ago, and I don’t remember clearly if anyone refused to do it, but I remember sometimes the teacher would make us all stand there and wait until everyone was standing, facing the flag, and had their hand over their heart. I have no doubts that if anyone refused, they were probably sent to the principal’s office at the very least. I went to one of THOSE schools. The horror…

  44. I had no idea it was that harsh. Does that not prove the argument that it’s just blind recitation?
    The States have a beef with N.Korea, but it seems to me that the kind of forced idolatry that makes them enemies, actually makes them quite similar.

  45. ‘Really people. stop complaining. There is nothing wrong with being patriotic about where you came from, and where you were born, and where you grew up, and where your life takes place’
    I don’t say there necessarily is, but you do realize that your sentiments are the very reason why most Germans supported Hitler, right? ‘We’re German, we’re patriots, so we have to be patriotic and support our government.’ Read the actual writings of the soldiers.
    The fact is that patriotism blinds a person to whether their country is right or wrong. I won’t commit my allegiance to anyone or anything, because I refuse to allow moral decisions to be placed in the hands of another. If the US is sufficiently wrong I’d be perfectly willing to take serious actions against it. For example, if the ‘tea party’ took over, then any action to bring them down might be justified.
    Additionally, why should I protect any ‘nation?’ I might wish to protect people, even a group of people, but not some arbitrary social construct that they have made.
    Finally, to force young children, who are not yet intellectually developed enough to make an informed choice, to say the pledge, really is no different, as bonrat points out, than the kind of forced worship that the most totalitarian governments have.

  46. To Theo, “Lack of consistency makes for good funny!”

    I like Nickelback. The band serves two functions: making girls in bars act like strippers, and allowing strippers to think their lives really aren’t that bad. Like, maybe they will make it after all.

    Patriotism makes it easier to set people on fire, guilt-free. Brainwashing youth is a fair price for that.

    (I like being “under god.” Those breasts are huge.)

  47. I have to agree with mad on this one. I Blah, blah,blah under blah? Oh I am sorry let me lick your boot America too while I am at it, which is weird because I thought I made up one small part of it. If you want to ejaculate into a flag while reciting the damn thing, go right ahead. Just don’t waste my time with it; I’ve got political influence, deregulation, and power to buy.

  48. You don’t have to agree with everything your country/government does to admire it and be patriotic. America is a great country, and we are lucky to live in it. The pledge of allegiance isn’t about agreeing with your government, it’s a pledge to adhere to the ideals of democracy. It’s thanking the writers of the constitution for creating a country where we have liberty and justice, and we are indivisible in the face of threats. If you can’t stand behind those basic ideals, perhaps you should leave the country. It’s not like it says, “I pledge allegiance to the war in Iraq, and the corruption that plagues our democracy.” If we could just get “under god” knocked out, I would go all Hitler-crazy and demand it be said 20 times a day in school classes.

  49. ..And there it is ^^^^ The “love it or leave it” speech! *rolls eyes*
    Not everybody in this country believes that reciting someone else’s words to a piece of fabric makes you an American. And not everybody is deluded to think that those ideals actually exist. And not everybody thinks that robotically repeating those words, when they do not represent the truth or reality, is something they feel they should be forced to do.
    Perhaps if YOU don’t like the fact that there are people in this country with different opinions and ideals and may or may not chose to express them in the same way as you do, then you would feel more comfortable in a dictatorship where people are told what to do, what to say and how to behave. But don’t you dare tell the rest of us what we should think and feel and to leave if we don’t agree!!!

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