Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Little Bit of Win

previous post: PhoDohs!

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185 Comments

  1. Lauren wins.

  2. i remember pokemon, second?

  3. The Tower of London sucked. Stop lying.

  4. that last one sure gets around

  5. J, I really, really, REALLY hope that you don’t die in a car accident or anything like that in the next 16 years, because your plan is brilliant and needs to be carried out.

  6. to really mess with the kid, have the picture paired with one of a woman, that is supposed to be his future wife, really mess with the kid’s relationships

  7. I would literally pay anything to see the look on the kid’s face when J convinces him that he is a time traveler.

    Nicholas, Pokemon is cool and all, but come on man…..

  8. j rocks

  9. Name him Marty then explain that he was named after an older version of himself who made out with his mom to get you to start dating her…

  10. ha ha J sounds like an awesome dad! fucking with your kid’s mind, always fun!

  11. J. You are a hero to all future fathers out there, ihope, one day, I can convince my kid he is something other than what is real.

  12. J, I volunteer to be your dutiful, trolling wife.

  13. haha he anit kised a girl in a year wat a batty creese bet his dick gon all dry n the dick cheese has gon hard looooool

  14. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Hey look, it’s Yoink

  15. Lauren does not win because she is pointing out the obvious. She did state it well though. And on a related note, “Bulba-Bulbasaur!”

  16. I hope English is your second language, Yoink.

  17. J totally took this one, Awesome!

  18. na its my ferst dude y? i anit got a second one

  19. That makes me sad. I mourn for the English language.

  20. LMAO Dukey! I hope you meant it in the way I said it in my head. omg too much

  21. y?

  22. J’s idea is awesome.

  23. Katypants, I was thinking the EXACT samething. Thanks for the laugh Dukey.

    Now, yoink, post and make me laugh monkey boy.

  24. J. wins.

  25. I dont get it wat did dukey boy say tahts funy? n nuff na u the dick that puts chees wire up ur japs eye to hav sex cus u cant get a hardon anit doin nuffin for u

  26. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Exactly yoink … exactly.

  27. bad spelling AND a lack of punctuation!

  28. wat? u tryin ta cunfuse me?

  29. Lol, looks like there’s officially more win in the comments than the post.

  30. *joins with the others in laughing at yoink* Hey, um, yoink, your grotesque misuse of the English Language in combination with your rather… uh… imaginative descriptions both disgust me and amuse me. And nothing like adding a few superfluous racist comments to the mix. I’m afraid you need to go to Trolling School in order to become more adept.

  31. krasivaya_devushka

    Um, yeah Nicholas…no girl is going to want to kiss you for another 2 years if you keep that picture up.

  32. but unless he’s actually going out wearing a pokemon shirt i don’t see how that’s making his love life tank? or is he looking for love on facebook?

  33. what shrommi? i anit racest that anit fair ta call me that wat hav i dun thats racest? an i no im not that grate at english but im dislecsick and i try an its betta ta try an be wrong than be antisosial anit it? i fort id try this site an to mane peple are dicks fund that out yest then today i tryd ta be nice an peple jus act like cock nugets agen man u need ta get layed

  34. krasivaya_devushka

    Awww lets be nice to yoink.

  35. yoink, i’m extremely DYSLEXIC (proper spelling), have asperger’s syndrome, AND i’m lazy. but i can still type correctly. Failing that, i also have a spell checker installed in Internet Explorer for those times when things slip up. If you REALLY are dyslexic, then maybe you should actually try working on it (like i have all of my life) instead of using it as an excuse for being a moron. Proof read your posts before you press submit.

  36. fanks krasivay its like that dude jon lenan init peple mite be difrent but if ya nice ta peple it dunt matta what ya like n peple can liv in peece i fink it was jon lenan? the one who maryed a lady wiv no leg?

  37. crapflinger that takes tym tho!!!!!!!!!

  38. also yoink, randomly telling people they need to get ‘layed’ isn’t going to win you any friends… unless you actually offer a solution and not just advice!

  39. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I agree with #34 krasivaya_devushka. We should be nice to Yoink, we wouldn’t want to make him angry so let’s choose our next words carefully … preferably single syllables.

  40. yoink, you’re cool in my books. Your posts are full of clever jokes and you have a boldness that is second to none. Except Soup. Nobody goes where Soup goes.

  41. jon lenan? lady with no leg? a pirate version of john and yoko?

  42. Oh yes, Jon Lenan. The semi-famous brother of Jon Bon Jovi and Jon Arbuckle. I remember.

  43. i agree with Craphlinger. i don’t want to read yoink’s crappy excuse for English.

  44. krasivaya_devushka

    Lol..funny!
    From what I’ve seen yesterday on here, yoink can be quite a jerk and you need to fix that if you want us to be nice.
    As for his spelling, yeah it’s horrible, but who cares?
    That’s his problem. I’m sure he’s doing that on purpose.

    I can easily read everything he says. I find it funny, too.
    If everyone spelled perfectly, it would be boooooooring.
    :D

  45. i was beein nice yestaday tho then that uyokcuf bloke started bein meen ta me then over peple were nasty too an i anit gonna take no shit from a ballbag peple shud keep there cum in there sack if they dunt wana be spunked on by tha fiyrmans hose if a cow wants milk it dunt go an bite its mums tit of its nice ta it an if it did bite it off the mum would tred on his hed

  46. If everyone spelled normally, there would be a lot more hope for this world.
    yoink is just hilarious, but not for the reasons he thinks, and his comprehension level is astounding! Just let it slide, let it slide.

  47. Someone should register as “yoink’s Translator” and comment after each of his posts with what he is saying. If done correctly, it could be infinitely hysterical.

  48. “I dont get it wat did dukey boy say tahts funy? n nuff na u the dick that puts chees wire up ur japs eye to hav sex cus u cant get a hardon anit doin nuffin for u”

    What does that even mean? Lamebook needs to allow submissions from lamebook itself.

  49. krasivaya_devushka

    hahaha

  50. peple undastood me loud and cleer everywher else shitstiks

  51. katypants, this is an amazing idea. I’d need it right now, because I really don’t get this fireman-cow-part.

  52. for example: “I dont get it wat did dukey boy say tahts funy? n nuff na u the dick that puts chees wire up ur japs eye to hav sex cus u cant get a hardon anit doin nuffin for u”

    “Hey guys, hold on. I don’t understand what Dukey said that is so funny. And nuff, no kind sir, you are the dick. You put cheese wire in your japanese eye to have sexual intercourse as you cannot get a hard-on otherwise.”

    …or something like that.

  53. europerocks its talkin metaforicly for peple takin the piss then not expectin it back harda

  54. So when the fireman wants milk from the cow he should expect to be … mooed?
    That makes sense.

  55. J. is a GENIUS

  56. I just checked it out, Katypants. Rosetta Stone has a translator for Mandarin, but they don’t have one for “Ignorant Teenager”.

  57. Damn, but thanks Bulldog :)

    Well I would settle for a meager attempt at translation for humorous purposes. C’mon. Someone has to step up to the plate.

    On a random side note, weird you mentioned Mandarin – I studied it for two years… but hardly get to use it :(

  58. naa europe if sumone dont keep there cum to themselves an puts it on sumone who dunt wanit they get firman hoseworth of it bak that wat hapens if ya nasty an cow a dif metaform it like if ur nice u get milk if ur not an you bit the tit of ur gone get a hof in the brain cos ud diserv it

  59. buldog i anit ignorant and i anit a teenager fanks

  60. Aahh, ok, so when the cow ejaculates the fireman has to wash it off himself because he thought it was milk.
    You opened my eyes now. Thank you.

  61. ‘all that’s white is not milk’ metaphorically speaking?

  62. fuck me europe ur slow i cant egsplain it betta than that dude

  63. no the milk anit got nuffin to do wiv the cum they 2 seprat things gods sake dicks cant see beyond the usul bollox ya hav no imiginaton

  64. i’m just going to take a wild guess here and say that yoink is a pikey. because that’s how i’m reading it. or he’s just from the shitty part of brighton.

  65. You are right, yoink. I will never reach your level. Holy cow.

  66. Jon Lenan who married a girl with one leg… poor Paul McCartney. Can’t catch a break.

  67. i anit a pikey thats racist aidsswab

  68. an if i was a pikey how the fuck wud i be on the intanet? they liv in fuckin carevans fuckaroon

  69. What yoink is trying to say is that if you come on someone you weren’t supposed to (that person being him in this case), he will ejaculate all over you with his cock that he compared to a firehose, because if you remember yesterday, he has a huge cock that he fucks his bitch with that got a prolapsed anus as well from that thrashing.
    As for the cow, if your gentle when you milk her she will give you milk and moo. If you try to suck on the tit and bite it accidentally, your gonna get kicked in the face. You deserve it too, because you shouldn’t give oral to a cow in the first place.

  70. That was fantastic, nuff.

    Katy, I’ll let you whisper Mandarin in my ear anytime. ;)

  71. fanks nuff finaly sumone that undastands finaly!!

  72. ^katy, I tried to register “yoinks translator,” but it wouldn’t let me. Well, it did, but it wouldn’t send me the password. And then I got annoyed and got back on my account. So I can’t. Now I’m sad faced.

  73. y wud u need a translasor ? i anit that hard ta undastand y do peple keep sayin that?

  74. I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE SPELLING “AIN’T” WRONG EVERY TIME. if elvis can do it, so can you.

  75. can u spel fucktard noinarenee????? cus thats if not thats like a man that cant spel man

  76. Ijkl0marissa, I’m sorry I haven’t finished the translator yet, it’s hard work.
    Katypants, I’ll take on that job and try to do what I can. I think I understand yoink on a deeper level than most. His words are like aninterpretive art piece that take a unique mind to understand completely. Don’t worry yoink, I’ll try my best as your personal translator so all these other people can understand the brilliance that is you. I’m sorry about your dog by the way.

  77. nuff i anit got a dog?

  78. well, at least you can spell the curse words right. kudos. i retract my previous statements. please, continue…

  79. I have searched the internet for “anit”
    ANIT Association Nationale des Intervenants en Toxicomanie

    Anit, also spelled Enit, was an ancient Egyptian goddess. She was depicted as a female wearing a headdress similar to that of Meskhenet. She is often referred to as the consort of Menthu

    Anit Accessories Corp. We are a wholesaler of pet costumes, apparels, and accessories.

    Yoink, which of the above definitions should we be using when reading your posts?

    Oh, and I’ll be more than happy to be your friend so long as you don’t mind being the butt of the jokes. Honest.

  80. Shroommi, I think he means the accessories Corp one if any and he got a dog costume from there? That makes the most sense with the last post, I think.
    And yoink, you -had- a dog. The prolapsed anus killed it, remember? A bitch is a female dog after all.

  81. i feel a little sorry for yoink now…only a little…

  82. i no wat i am i no i can say stuped stuf sumtimes but i anit stuped an i dunt mind jokes long as they anit bein meen ta me or abowt my gf but i anit gonna tak ne shit from noone at end of day so if ya mess wiv me il make u my bitch an ride u like jacko rided bubles an i dint undastand a word of thatwats toximanie?

  83. Sadly I can actually understand Yoink’s messages….relatively….problem is he’s using random made up words he made in Yoinkland that I just can’t decipher….like noinarenee wtf does that mean?

    Yoink please explain wtf Noinarenee means….because I’m at a COMPLETE loss….

  84. that want me nuff that was sum sick dude thats inta bestialitey i anit a sick fuck like that dude

  85. Translation of Yoink last message:

    I know what I am I know I can say stupid stuff sometimes but I’m not stupid, and I don’t mind jokes as lon gas they are not being mean to me or about my girlfriend but I’m not going to take any shit from anyone at the end of the day so if you mess with me I’ll make you my bitch and ride you like Jacko rided bubbles and I don’t understand a word that’s what Toximanie?

    Wtf does Toximanie mean??? I don’t understand either =(

  86. angel that’s nothing to be sad about, you’re bilingual! you’re fluent in ‘yoink’!

  87. iceyangel yoinkland!!! i like that thats awsum :D an noinarenee is th name of dude i was replyn to

  88. Nuff, sir, you are a brave individual. But I don’t want you to take this responsibility lightly. You see, it’s the difference between hundreds of people going “huh?” or “oohhhh! LOL”. Very serious business indeed.

    Marissa, if that password comes through I still think you should do it. Perhaps help Nuff if, god forbid, he is ever at a loss.

  89. Sorry for mixing things up yoink, got it ass backwards obviously.
    I would also like to know what toximanie and noinarenee mean too.

  90. i neva sed toxaminie it was shrooms an noinarenees that dudes usaname on here the one that finks elvis can spel from the grave cos he fingas the gravel wiv his pelvis frustsa looooooooool

  91. I’ll translate what I can katypants, I hope I don’t let everyone down when I try to translate one word for word. I think I got a grasp on his course of logic though.

  92. No problem Yoink, I thought I would add a new word to your extensive vocabulary by making up yet another new word… >.>

    I so didn’t realize Noinarenee was someone on this site….really? I so don’t remember that name…..

    OHHHH he means 78.nonarenee……I guess it’s close enough….

    BY THE WAY…..Pokemon is bloody awesome…..though even I wouldn’t put it as a profile picture…I have more self respect then that….

  93. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Yoink is da man.

    By the way, I also completely understand Yoink’s posts, but I will hang onto my name for sentimental reasons. I will try to translate though as a PSA.

    Yoink I love how you consistently misspell ‘ain’t', at least on some level you know that words need to be spelled one way all the time. You just don’t bother to learn which one is the right way.

  94. “…the one that thinks Elvis can spell from the gravebecause he fingers the gravel with his pelvic thrusts, lol.”

    ???

  95. I think that’s all we want nuff. Word for word or synopsis, which ever is funnier, just to get the gist of it.

    and LMAO at fingering the grave with his pelvis frustra! I don’t even know what that could mean… but I like it! Nuff? Any thoughts?

  96. Wow. Just wow.

  97. pokemon scars me a bit loooool it cases vilence or it did wen i was yunger peple used to go mad bout cards i did to i stabd my sis with a cumpass one day at school cos she swapd my charizar loooool

  98. hey peple anit so meen on here aftaall i fink ya jus gotta get peple ta undastand how ya roll

  99. I’m curious and completely disturbed over the Elvis zombie thrusting…..seriously now….

    All I can picture is a zombie mauling the ground with his pelvic area instead of eating brains…..

    We could make a movie….

    Yoink gets attacked by Zombie Elvis….only to discover that he is rejected for the gravel on the ground….

    poor bugger will never recover from the embarrassment of being rejected by a zombie.

  100. Yes Yoink…do you roll uphill or down?

  101. i wud lik that film looooool n al elvisfreeks flocin to his grave to sit on the gravil an feel his frust loooooooooooolll

  102. i roll in circls but not strate circles like then spirogram fings ya draw wiv as a kid looooool what way do u roll?

  103. Dukey – any take on the comment from yoink about the cheese wire jap eyes something or other?

  104. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    translation for number post#84 “that want me nuff that was sum sick dude thats inta bestialitey i anit a sick fuck like that dude”

    “[You err my good friend Nuff. The individual you are referring to is not me and he happens to be someone who has profoundly different notions that the notions I hold regarding human and Cur coitus.]”

    BTW just to clear things up, nonarineee or something is a poster here
    and toxico… is a word yoink got for the post above that referenced other possible meanings of “ANIT”. whis is the word that yoink uses in place of “Ain’t”

  105. i gotta go now got werk in the mornin to erly :( some u dudes r alrite

  106. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    *”different notions than the notions”

    lol trying to interpret is beginning to get to me.

    @85 IceyAngel June 29th, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    “I’ll make you my bitch and ride you like Jacko rided bubbles and I don’t understand a word that’s what Toximanie?

    Yoink said like Jacko rided babies, as a reference to the alleged sexual preferences of Michael Jackson and catholic priests.
    I already explained toximanie

  107. From now on I’m only loggin on for the comments..Yoink you should start your own religion…there is lots of money in that from what i’ve heard..

  108. Yup, I love J!

    Thanks Nuff and Dukey for the translations by the way, you helped ease my comment reading.

  109. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @Katypants, Translation for post #25 “I dont get it wat did dukey boy say tahts funy? n nuff na u the dick that puts chees wire up ur japs eye to hav sex cus u cant get a hardon anit doin nuffin for u”

    “I do not comprehend this scenario, what did Dukey say that is inspiring such mirth? And Nuff my good sire,you are the phallus, I believe you insert the metallic kitchen utensil known as a cheese wire into the apex of your genitalia as a means to attain priapism because you have no other means to this end”

  110. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    No problem Ee.

    Does anybody have any more translation requests? I would love to share the joy I get from yoink’s comments.

  111. really Dukey…..wow…so not only did he bash Elvis he went after Michael Jackson too…he’s on a roll (in circles apparently) =/

    I translated the easy one, lol….

    Props to Nuff and Dukey who took on the more challenging ones…I just can’t be bothered to translate the crazy ones tonight.

  112. @106: Naw dude, not bubbles as in kiddos, Bubbles, as in the chimp. MJ and the chimp apparently got it on. The children are for the priests, but MJ only had eyes for zee monkey.

  113. We could make jokes about how Yoink is apparently not only old enough to work…but he remembered he has to work.

    The human race never ceases to amaze me >.>

    For the record is it just me or did he just have better english to say he was leaving….maybe this is all a charade and he actually DOES know how to spell…..

    ….or maybe I’m just giving too much credit

  114. Dukey, I’m glad are interpreting ‘apex of your genitalia as a means to attain priapism’ Amazing!

  115. i wish j was my dad.

    and yoink, i love you.

  116. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @112 He was better known for allegedly having sex with children, so I assumed Yoink meant babies, but you could be right only yoink can clarify that.

    lol @ 113 I had the same thought.

  117. yoink, dun u rember i was ur allie yestaday u freekalina kthx alot mate, thort u was with me on this one wel go home to ur henry sum thx i get, u only say uckfyuo is a dik 2 u u dont say alordlsums a nice guy he gets it an evry1 else is fuckaroon thx alot.

    trater.

    i stuck up 4 u mate, thx.

  118. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    lol Alord do you want me to translate that for you?

  119. noinarenee is me. and for clarification purposes, i am definitely not a dude. but now i’m glad i mentioned elvis, because zombie elvis is cracking me up right now.

  120. its toooo hot ta sleep shit alord dude sorry told u yestaday that ur awwsum tho didnt i? sorry dude an yeah corse i old enuff ta werk y woodnt i an y wood i forget i had ta go there?

  121. and alord dude y is ur usaname blu?

  122. IceyAngel, if you have paid as much attention to yoinks typing skills, you would have surely noticed that 1-4 letter words are completely within his grasp, thus making #105 completely logical.
    Yoink, sleep is over-rated man. How else are you supposed to pull all nighters with the lady friends, eh? It’s a tough job sometimes, but a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do.

  123. try clickin on it m8 u get a kool video. were u frm im from derbysher. ppl rnt bein 2 bad 2nite reckan the henrys r in for service!

  124. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Fucken yaaaaaaaaaay.

  125. n cos im fuckin cool m8. :D

  126. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Welcome back Yoink. This place gets boring without you.

  127. Dukey… Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Please do more. I don’t care which ones at this point :)

    Slums, I am impressed with your fluency in Yoinkenese.

  128. loooooooooool yea but my gf anit here tonite i anit got the addrenlin kepin me goin n gota be at werk at 8 wich sucks lama nipples im from norf england more norf than u na peple ben ok now actuly fink henry got a nu suck settin looool

  129. or a feever got stuk in it to tikle there belend so they anit so fristratd

  130. katy,

    my name is yon yonson i come from wisonsin i work in a lumber yard there.

    ;-)

  131. c

  132. u werk in a lumber yard? im a carpenter sorta simula i fink

  133. slums, this is further fascinating as someone as yourself could be so fluent in Yoinkenese, which is what I gather to be some British bits thrown together with I don’t know what, when you are from Wisconsin. I had a stop-over in Winsconsin once on my way overseas and all I recall is a whole lot of nothing in those parts. Oh! They have moose I believe. And cheese, I think. So. Huh. You don’t say. And a lumber yard, ey? Handle big lots of wood all day, do ya? ;)

  134. my ancestors moved from the lumberyard to the coal-fields. by that i mean i’m actually english. me n yoink is bruvs. in a way.

    alas i am not bulldog! sometimes i think that guy is ALL mdf…

  135. Mdf?

  136. medium density fibreboard

  137. Yoink, you just thoroughly impressed me. All those words are correctly spelled (well, in the US I believe it’s “fiberboard”, but tomato tomahto blah blah blah).

    Slums, Bulldog is one of my favs, and although I adore him, there’s always room for more in my party :)

  138. see i do no sumfings

  139. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Yoink rules.

  140. “The barge she sat in, like a burnish’d throne,
    Burnt on the water. The poop was beaten gold,
    Purple the sails, and so perfumèd that
    The winds were love-sick with them; the oars were silver,
    Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made
    The water which they beat to follow faster,
    As amorous of their strokes. For her own person,
    It beggar’d all description: she did lie
    In her pavilion—cloth of gold, of tissue—
    O’er-picturing that Venus where we see
    The fancy outwork nature.”

    *whispers* ‘let me be your anthony!’

    ok then, mardian. :-l

  141. ps m8, yoinks, il ring u wen i die m8 frm shagin 2 many bictches then u can make my cofin outer mdf!!! lol

  142. loooool il mak the cofin wiv a chimeny for ur dick so evryone can be in shok wen thy see ya cofin go past wiv a wood cock on it loooooooool

  143. I wish I had been on my PC for those entire conversation and not my iPhone. Would have been so much easier. Anyway, gotta jet, might be on later tonight.

  144. yeh n insted of smoke cumin out da chimmney jus spunk comin outa my cock! even tho im ded lotsa spunk cos my balls r huge! i dont have enuf 2 go round.

    cum n get it ladys ;-)

    nite m8 off to bed now i hav 2 up for 8 sellin soap disensers!!!

  145. LMFAOOO Slums, you are, in fact, too much!

    nuff, do come back. In between refilling my delicious adult beverage and doing all the crap I have to do before bed, you make me laugh :)

  146. Medium density fiberboard? What did I ever do to offend Lord Slums?

    Hiya Katy. :)

  147. Hey Bulldog! Hows it hangin’? I don’t think he meant it in an offensive manner! I took it as you are useful and can be used for many things ;)

  148. CommentsAtLarge

    Looked up MDF for shiggles on wikipedia – I’ve heard of it but don’t know much about it. Under the drawbacks to MDF it says :”Subject to significant shrinkage in low humidity environments.”

    Thought you might want to know Bulldog.

  149. I actually Googled it myself, I didn’t catch that line, but I did find a note that it’s apparently much more dense than plywood. Fortunately for the shrinkage issue, I’m in a a very high-humidity environment. Either way, I apparently won’t be invited to tea by Lord Slums the next time I visit merry ol’ England.

  150. Katy, you can use me for any purpose you wish. ;)

  151. CommentsAtLarge

    @Bulldog

    Given the choice between a Lord Slums invite to England, or an invite to Katy’s aforementioned party, I think you still win my friend.

  152. it was a reference to all that wood-handling…

    which makes comments’ soundbite all the funnier :-D

    bulldog i could never have a cup of tea with you, it’d have to be a beer!

    night all. wonder what yoink’s dreaming of…?

  153. CommentsAtLarge

    Dunno Lord, but I’m betting it would need translation to understand.

  154. Comments, without a doubt, I’d rather be at Katy’s party… or on the beach applying tanning oil.

    And, Slums, I do hope you have a good night, I’ll try to avoid splinters.

  155. [I registered to leave a single, albeit long, comment]

    I cannot believe that all of you supposed intellectuals and self-appointed keepers of the English language are too intoxicated by your own pseudo superiority to see past your damn noses. 

    Yoink is brilliant! He has got you by a leash (or cheese wire, whatever he may wish to call it). If, in fact, you are as enlightened as you propose to be (“I took two years of Mandarin.”, give me a fucking break!), you would realize that he knows exactly what he is doing and his thinly veiled genius often betrays him through his logic and colorful details of his comments. His imagination boggles the mind and I, for one, am a big fan. Remember that language is an invention and Yoink understands and exploits this fact and in the process, he makes you look like fools for caring so damn much. So what if it requires a double take to get his point? To me, he is not unlike Nabokov. Try to read Lolita just once and pretend to understand the condensed brilliance of Nabokov’s sentence structure.

    Kids, this could also be Banksy among you. Lamebook’s patrons could be nothing but subjects of his own little social experiment into the fascinating phenomenon of website “commentators”.   

    Or at the very least (if Yoink turns out to be what he seems to be), I would like to think that he is like a fragmented version of John Kennedy Tool’s infamous protagonist, Ignatius Reilly. All of you (perhaps including yours truly) are indeed a Confederacy of Dunces.

  156. Hahahaa! Comments, very funny finding something like that to apply to the situation HA!

    So, Bulldog, you handle lots of wood as well? I’ve been told I can handle some wood as well ;)

    Slums, I want a beer too! Plus, I’ve only had bangers and mash in Hong Kong. I want it in England dammit. And I think yoinks dreaming of making coffins, pelvin frustin’ gravel and MJ. Somehow, I think he’s enjoying it too. Hmmm.

  157. Katy, I usually just get the wood ready for delivery. ;)

    And, onceblind, you can’t see it, but I’m standing and just applauding you. While you can never be accused of knowing your audience, you certainly make a compelling audience. I just wish members of the Nobel committee read the comments section on Lamebook.

  158. @onceblind – If you are going to call out a specific comment of mine to call bullshit on I would consider the fact that it could be true, seeing how you don’t know me. My father is an expat who has lived in Hong Kong for the past 8 years with his Chinese wife, and my two half brothers. I found it difficult to communicate with her, and my half brothers are shy speaking in English, so I took two years of Mandarin at university so when I go to visit for the one month a year I always do, for the past 8 years, I can better communicate and not be the stereotypical American tourist. So, please, give me a fucking break :D

  159. oops… compelling argument, not compelling audience. You literally blew my mind with your tripe.

    Or it could have just been the fact that I was distracted by naughty thoughts about Katypants.

  160. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I would love to see a conversation between yoink and onceblind.

    Sorry guys I had to leave, I was watching Larry King and apparently he is quitting soon.

  161. Anyhow, Bulldog, how’s this evening treating you? It’s hot as a mother here. I imagine it’s worse in GA :(

  162. Well, it’s just delightful in the air conditioning, but otherwise it’s rather brutal. ;) The baseball team is getting their asses kicked, so I’m instead partaking in one of your favorite pasttimes and getting some ideas for our movie. ;) How are things in the great northeast?

  163. Buh, same here. AC is needed. The heat is supposed to break tomorrow and go back down to the 70s, but recently it’s been in the high 90s and it’s just too much. And now that you mention that, I haven’t even partaken yet today in said pasttime! I’m going to have some dreams to speak by the morning if I don’t get to it! Hahaha! Any ideas in particular?

  164. mmmmhmmm. I’m going to have to find an Air Force flight suit. ;)

  165. Onceblind, as soon as you come off your high horse, you should read through yoink’s posts again. Apply some of the same scrutiny to him as you have the rest of the posters on this board. You should quickly come to the same conclusion that I have: yoink is actually Oliver Twist!
    Yes, it’s hard to believe that the character could actually become real. However, I think dozens of years of pseudo-superiority speeches like yours have given breath and blood to the little guy. Now he lurks Lamebook with his treatises expounding upon what he “finks” about “fings”, all in an attempt to cull you and your ilk out of the woodwork.
    I’ll be blaming you when Oliver “yoink” Twist starts to use computer parts to become a corporeal entity and kill us all.

  166. Ughhhh, don’t even get me started… I met the Thunderbirds this year at the Airshow… and deargodjesus… those dark blue skin tight flight suits are… ummmm… I suppose I am saying that I reaallly like that idea :D

  167. @onceblind: If you want to call everyone out, and stand on your soapbox proclaiming your superiority to all through your literary knowledge, at least spell the author’s name correctly. John Kennedy Toole (with an E at the end) did grace us with the brilliant novel, “A Confederacy of Dunces”, before his untimely death, so you could at least try to honor his memory by spelling his damn name right.

    Oy vey!

  168. I’m just full of good ideas. I’m gonna have to go crash, though, I’ve had about four hours of sleep in the last two days. I hope you get to partake, but enjoy the dreams if you don’t. ;)

  169. Will do ;) have a lovely night <3

  170. @160: Yes! That conversation would be probably the most epic dialogue yet written.

    “yoink, you are a man like no other, and I must bow to your subtle intellect.”

    “yeh, fanks oncblined. me an my dick r bof hapy you lik us, i fink. we lik u 2.”

    I’m not as good as alordslums at this sort of thing, but I do try :(

  171. ;) g’nite

  172. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Lol Master prop, tell me you are a chick like I think you are, otherwise it will be really hard for us to justify the massive boner I have from #170

  173. Why yes, I am, haha. No worries Dukey, you’re not cybergay.

  174. BEST COMMENTS THREAD EVER!!!!!

    brilliant repartee from everyone.

    Though it makes me sad too, because J’s comment about the future is an incredibly brilliant post the likes of which LB doesn’t like to put up very often, and it did not get the attention it truly deserved.

  175. Slippyslappy, we were all so awed by J. That we could only profess our love in the simplest way possible. I and love and you. It was a total geek boner moment that inspired many, and saying anything more would take away from the blissfullness that it was, and so we moved on over to yoinkitopia and had our shits and giggles talking lumber, getting lost in translation, and whether or not he is secretly Oliver Twist. This thread will forever be sacred in our hearts and our nights will be filled with wet dreams of happiness until tomorrow when reality sinks in and we don’t have our own little special child to convince them that they are indeed, from the future. It was a good day in human history, goodnight.

  176. I know I’m joining this thread super late, but I just had to comment that if I wasn’t already married I would totally marry J. and help him pull off the most epic prank ever! That’s just pure gold!!

  177. oncebilnd u sound lyk a r8 nobhed!!

    if you were to check posts from the last couple of days, you will find several people speculating on the nature of, and declaring the existence of, yoink’s genius.

    yoink is counter-counter-culture. he is the intellectual coffee whiff on a misty morning of the mind. he is a supreme carpenter of the spirit. and yes, i’m pretty sure he occasionally does have a laugh at our expense!

    oh, and onceblind, congratulations on name-dropping lolita and confederacy of dunces, and making yourself seem like the biggest and most brattish first year english/politics student ever! it fair made me chuckle!

    remember what hume said – we proceed from the impression to the idea. you can’t just make ideas up in your desperate bid to make an impression. ;-)

  178. YoinksTranslator

    yoink
    June 29th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
    “loooool il mak the cofin wiv a chimeny for ur dick so evryone can be in shok wen thy see ya cofin go past wiv a wood cock on it loooooooool”

    Translation:
    “Lol I will make a coffin with a chimney for your dick so evereyone can be in shock when they see your coffin go past with a wood cock on it lol”

  179. J is my fricking hero, and I am going to re-post that comment for all my friends with their newborns, to encourage them to do the same…. How AWESOME would that be! :) hahahahahaha I am still giggling!!!!

  180. Yeay for Yoinks Translator!! I can’t wait to see you in action once yoink gets on here after his long day of carpentering! :D

  181. I have an almost-4-month-old son, I sooo need to show this to my husband! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner, I must have been blinded by J’s genius!!

  182. Get’em while they’re young Mama_Corn. Get’em while they’re young, mwuahahahaha.

    Yay for YoinksTranslator! It’s a part-time job, but somebody has got to do it.

  183. J is the king. All hail king J!!

  184. My best friend just had a baby, would it be highly unsuitable to get them an aged photo of him as a Christening gift? I’m sure in their now sleepless state I could convince them to go for the time travel thing…

  185. Also how gutted would you be if it turned out your really cute baby was gonna be a fucking ugly kid?!
    I remember when that used to happen to my Sims, killed me every time! (Yes I really am -that- cool!)

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