Friday, April 15, 2011

A Grounded Fleur

previous post: Gold Star Status

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65 Comments

  1. Well these “don’t befriend you parents on FB” are gettin’ old.. At least this one can spell, though.

  2. Is he pissed because his mother named him Fleur?

  3. Nice try, mom, but he posted that from his phone! I think. So there!

  4. I assumed that Fleur is a girl, since it’s French for ‘flower’, and I pray that no mother would name her boy ‘flower’.

    In any case, this is sufficiently lame for lamebook. I presume that the (teenage) daughter threw some sort of hissy fit at her mother, posted this status on facebook, then got in trouble for it. Delightful.

  5. Fleur is a very common name for a girl in Dutch.
    So is the name Amber.

  6. ladyda, so why are they speaking English, especially the mom?

  7. Saffer, I have known Fleurs in the U.S. – two of them. It’s not that crazy. And lots of people from the Netherlands speak English and other languages fluently. It’s not like in America where everyone thinks it’s their god given right to dumb themselves down by only learning one language growing up.

  8. @Saffer, I don’t know. Probably for the same reason as I do when I post a status in English on fb: -so all mutual friends can read it. Most of my Dutch friends do the same. The other thing that made me think they might be Dutch is the lack of spelling mistakes…
    Anyway, I think it’s stranger Fleur calls her friend Mell ‘Jamie’.

  9. I’m guessing the Fleur is a pre-teen (she says mummy) that is not allowed to have FB unless her mom is her friend, so that she can monitor her, which clearly she is.

  10. Ceci n'est pas un nom

    What I don’t get is why people don’t block certain people from seeing certain statuses.

    I mean, I have a few people on my friends list that I don’t really wish to have there butt couldn’t really ignore when they friend requested me. So what I have done is basically set my privacy settings so none of those people ever see anything I post. It makes it look like I’m hardly ever on there (whereas, in reality, I pretty much live on FB).

    You can also do that on a post by post basis, so they can see when you post certain things, but not others.

    I’ll never understand people who “forget” their mom or their boss is on FB and get themselves in this kind of trouble. But Lamebook wouldn’t have half as many posts as it does if everyone actually thought for 2 seconds before posting something.

  11. Ceci n'est pas un nom

    *but, not butt

  12. I’ll never understand parents who fucking buy their kids laptops, especially teens who still throw temper tantrums. Not a good investment.

  13. deanna6812, I don’t know. I knew an Italian boy named Fiore, which means flower. “Fleur” does seem a lot more feminine, though.

    skunkor, I’m not sure knowing only one language “dumbs you down.” If anything, it just maintains your intelligence at the same level. Anyway, I’m pretty sure these people aren’t Dutch because I don’t think Dutch people use the word “naw” (or “naaw”), and why wouldn’t the mother speak in their native language to the kid? If my mom and I both speak French, that doesn’t mean she’s going to scold me in French.

  14. Thanks lametothemin that was my point to ladyda. The mom would most likely speak her native tongue to her child, esp if scolding her. I doubt the Dutch say ‘mommy’ too, wouldn’t it be ‘ma’ or something, and the have Hives which is more common than Facebook. It sounds like a native English speaker to me. anyway, really, who gives a fuck? I don’t, I’m just wasting hours till the weekend begins.

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  18. If you’re going to spam, at least spam in english. Retards…

  19. Hey, look at that, we’re famous. Fleur is my daughter, she’s 14. We live in Australia where the government gives public school students a free laptop in year 9. They get to keep it if they graduate from high school.

    I’m on her friends list because she’s not allowed Facebook unless I can keep an eye on her, but that doesn’t seem to stop her from repeatedly forgetting and posting that she’s wopping school, or drinking ill-gotten Bicardi Breezers in the park.

    She refers to me as “mummy” because she’s annoyed and is being a sarcastic brat. Bring on maturity, says I!

  20. i like the name fleur! i’m also from australia and your comment verisimilitude just made my day ha

  21. I love aussies!!! No joke, just sayin…

  22. She’s 14 and already boozing? Not good. Little Fleur sounds like a big handful. Good luck with that, mummy.

  23. Aussie Aussie Aussie!
    Btw, many Dutchies here.. nice.

  24. Hey nice mum to solve our puzzle!

  25. @Saffer please don’t Hyve us just because we is Dutch… I do have an account but only use it to send a smiley to my grandparents or little cousins. They are the ones that still use Hyves. The rest of us Facebook, Twitter, etc. We barely wear our clogs nowadays either.

  26. When I was in Amsterdam I came across a cranky old Dutch woman selling hot chips. I saw that I had the option of purchasing hot chips with “Wild American Sauce.”

    I was intrigued, but also apprehensive. I thought to myself “Does this cranky old woman have a crazy American prisoner chained in her dungeon, and does she force him to produce ‘sauce?’ Does she heat his sauce. Does she cool it? Does she add anything else to it, like, say, finely diced onions? Salt? Is her prisoner getting old and is she on the hunt for a replacement?!”

    Needless to say, my curiousity got the better of me, and I gave it a go. It was not the essense of some poor captured schizophreniac as I had feared it might be. The sauce was good, and I had no regrets. If I had to describe it in one word, I would say it was “mustard.”

  27. I called it!! I knew it was a young girl that had to have her mom on her friends list!!! What’s my prize? Can I get a “Frodo” a “Steeeeveeeeerrrr?”

  28. I don’t like the Dutch so much. More of an Aussie fan.

  29. …obviously you haven’t tried Vegemite.

    ; )

  30. There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures. And the Dutch.

  31. Vegemite is awesome, mass, but I’ll grant you that it’s an acquired taste.

  32. You’re awesome word… and I imagine tasty.

  33. Absolutely.

  34. @jibbyfubby quote:-I don’t like the Dutch so much. More of an Aussie fan.-

    Thats an interesting statement, considering so many immigrated Australians descend from Holland, and Australia was originally named ‘New Holland’.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Holland_%28Australia%29

  35. I thought all Australians were descendants of British criminals … hm.

  36. naw … few of them are of Irish descent as well.

  37. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @34 yeah and New York used to be called New Amsterdam, Indonesia used to be Nederlandsch Indie.

    The Dutch also used to excel in whaling, slave trade and other things that would, nowadays, result in either being surrounded by rubber dingys’ or UN sanctions. Just sayin’

  38. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    And why is it that every single saying in the English language concerning Dutch, has a slightly negative undertone?

    – Dutch Courage
    – Dutch treat
    – Dutch Uncle
    – Dutch oven
    – going Dutch

  39. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @Mass, don’t forget prostitutes!

  40. I live in Australia and there arent many british convicts anymore… Mainly lebonease, maltese and asians there days…

  41. @stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities
    Slavery, whaling, really?

    About your little list, there are so many English sayings concerning the Dutch, the list is endless.
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dutch%20Salute

    The Dutch hardly have any sayings about the English.
    Well I did find two.
    #Cooking English style – meaning overcooked greasy, unhealthy food out of cans-
    #Sex English style – bd/sm implying British can’t practise a normal sexlife due to boarding school traumas.

    Haha.

  42. @mass:
    During the nineteenth century, Afghans were brought to Australia as camel drivers. There were also migrants from china who came here for the gold rush. If you go to Broome in the north west of Australia many people there are a mix of aboriginal, Chinese, Sri lankan and Indonesian.

    I think I also need to bring to your attention that Australia has an indigenous population, although many less refined Australians pretend that they don’t exist, so not ALL Australians descend from the English (not me for a start).

    I’m going to pretend that ignorant comment from n00dle didn’t happen. Besides, this is getting old and off topic.

  43. Well I’m not English and I don’t like the bloody Dutch! Well I like their bread and their chocolate. Vegemite is tasty, btw.

  44. Being Aussie myself, re-reading this post after finding out it’s from Australia just made it funnier. The rebellious Fleur gets busted by her mum, it’s simple but the lingo sells it for me.

    By the way, when making Vegemite on toast; If you can still see the toast, you need more Vegemite. YUM! Honestly, sometimes I eat it with a spoon…

    (Fun Fact: Some Aussies call it vaginamite… Can you guess what peanut butter is known as?)

  45. The Dutch are cool, for sure. Clogs, windmills, dams and high grade weed, what’s not to like.

  46. Well, Pa, although I get the sense your question is rhetorical (it doesn’t even have a question mark at the end), I’ll answer it anyway:

    I’m not the type of person who criticizes other nationalities, but based on reading the comments above, the Dutch. The Dutch are “not to like.”

    Also, clogs.

  47. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @41 LadyDa, maybe someday you can show me a proper Dutch Waterfall. Must agree with PA Dutch weed is excellent, am living in Amsterdam and would recommend something called “Amnesia” to anyone that happens to come and visit.

    Walter, I am still trying to figure out which sauce you had with those chips. Do you remember in which area you got it? Usually they eat it with mayonnaise or a think brownish peanut sauce. Clogs are overrated but make nice salad bowls…

  48. *looking for clog porn*

    *…and short breaks to Amsterdam*

  49. Oh yeah…

    http://rule34-images.paheal(dot)net/_images/6b5a70ee316c56b371f0c963202f872d/410274%20-%20clogs%20inanimate%20shoe.jpg

    Shmoking.

  50. Yowser. Nice salad bowls, PA.

  51. @stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    Judging your seduction skills by your internetz suave, I’m confident a Dutch waterfall -or any sexual act performed on you- will only take place in your dreams.

    I will however, lighten your burden in another area: The sauce You and Walter are talking about is ‘American fritessaus’ by Calve and Remia. Ingredients: mayonaisse, parsley, mustard, onion, sugar.
    http://www.remia.nl/consument/producten.aspx?id=52
    Sold in a 500ml squeezy bottle for approx. €1,59 in any Albert Heyn near you.

    It was interesting to make your acquaintance, a real eyeopener to see how much the English are annoyed by the Dutch while I’ve yet to meet an English person saying this IRL.

    You live in Amsterdam I understand. Have fun come Queensday, hope you will have a good time despite all those awful Dutch people that bother you so much.

  52. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @51 I love Queensday, its awesome that you Dutch people are so open and welcoming to the gay community. Hope it’s going to be sunny when they’re cruising the canals in their decorated boats!

  53. Yeah, that looks right. I think the version I had was homemade though. It was a mayonnaise base with a dominant mustard flavor. And it was sweet. And it had a couple other things in there as well.

    Shitbags, it was at a market thing where they had various stands set up selling things like chips with wild American sauce and clog magnets.

    It’s been a few years but…… I think you start at the train station. Walk by some old historical boats on the pointless bridge. Then through the street with the women in the windows. Keep going along the river for about 1.5 km. Follow the river as it turns to the right. About 100 later there is a bridge. Cross it. Around there somewhere there is a grocery store. The market is outside the grocery store. Make sure you have a lot of coins for the parking meters because they don’t accept foreign credit cards.

  54. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    Yeah man, I know that market and the parking situation only has gotten worse. Now they want you to pay with some kind of card but fail to mention where to obtain one.

  55. Ehm Queensday has got nothing to do with gays. It is a celebration in honour of the queens mothers’ birthday. Gays are just celebrating too, just like everyone is welcome to, including you. If you would ask any Dutch person, (Or! Maybe even befriend one) they would be happy to explain to you where to get a parking card.

  56. Well… Someone’s got her panties in a bunch.

  57. Of course not. I’m Dutch, don’t you know us wild Dutch girls never wear underwear.

  58. Aaaaand… Wallace has a sense of humor too.

    You learn fast though, I respect that. It’s good that you mention going commando. Also: the size of your breasts, your level of education (the higher the better) and lingerie…

    I’m sure stoma would appreciate visual proof of undie status

  59. Of course! I have no problem with that. Seems only fair since I am new to this forum thing and everything.
    And now I give all these details I hope everyone will like me and we can be friendz???? :) :) :)
    Here you can see:

    http://img824.imageshack.us/img824/826/ladydaexposedwatch.jpg

  60. stomabeutel v1.1 with added empathic capabilities

    @Ladyda, I most have mixed Queensday with Gaypride. Easy mistake to make. Welcome to the FB club, you are a nice addition (for a Dutch person). Only thing to do now, is to purchase a car and figure out how to operate that parking meter.

  61. Cheers, the welcome is much appreciated. I recommend you get one of those little ‘Smart’cars, parking is truly a b#tch in A’dam.

  62. @verisimilitude If you were my mom, and did that controlling bitchy mom shit, you would definitely be taking more than just a step back. :) There’s this thing called deleting and blocking you off her friends that Fleur should do, and also this thing called technology impaired idiot parents. You wouldn’t know how to unblock and such even if you confiscate it.

    Or, as she’s 14, she can wait until later to kick your ass. Mum isn’t being a smartass either, idiot. It’s something UK and Aussies use instead of mom.

    TL;DR Taking priviledges away doesn’t work, kick your kids ass.

  63. @Keona Using “Mummy” in the context her kid did is being a smartarse, also just to clarify “Mom” is what US people use instead of “Mum” because “Mum” was around long before your bastardised version of English was invented.

  64. Keona, I would never be your “mom”. If you came out my vagina, I’d demand a redo.

  65. Meh, punishment fits the crime, lucky her mom doesn’t beat her ass. I bet most of you parents out there think time outs work.

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