Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A Few Quickies

previous post: Haimbook

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50 Comments

  1. I sincerely hope Meaghan’s a vet… :|

  2. Hello everyone, this site does provide me with some entertainment but given how many people comment on/view this site I thought it would be worth posting this here.

    http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=350577843749&ref=nf

    “Jonny (Jonathan Samuel) Dorey has been missing since March 2nd and we’re very worried. He is a British exchange student at VCU in Richmond, Virginia. He lives in the GRC dorms and his bike is missing. He hasn’t been to classes, his phone’s been off for days and he hasn’t been in contact with us for days.
    He’s been reported to the VCU police as a missing person and any info you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for your help!”

    Please refer the facebook link to everyone you know and who knows, maybe someone has seen him, or maybe one of your friends friends has seen him, so send it out there! Please excuse the un-intentional attempt at spam. But this is important!

    Thanks

  3. Ohh grow a banana!

  4. I don’t care if the words are more profound than Shakespeare, Confucious, Ghandi and Churchill put together, if ever I start quoting Hannah Montana (and posting it as my Facebook status, no less)I give you permission to put a bullet in my head.

  5. First I’ve heard someone complaining that a guy won’t dance. I’m assuming that the status is about a specific person, because it never fucking isn’t. And if she wants this supposed person so much anyway, why the hell does it matter if he dances or not?

    BritishHobo: Jumping to stupid conclusions and then ranting on them pointlessly.
    Oh, and he likes Hannah Montana, the little baby.

  6. Well. The one about dancing is pretty fuckin’ lame…but I know where she’s coming from kiiinda. I dated this dude who would never ever ever ever dance. So when we were out with our friends and we all were dancing he’d be in the corner moping and it’d be awkward.

  7. Odd about the dancing one. Men ask to dance with me. I accept with the offer of a drink. I take the drink and leave. They never get any. =)
    I’d probably guess that Matt lad tried the rohypnol idea. He seems like the type. You know. Desperate.

  8. Maybe Meaghan is the girlfriend at the party in an earlier post…

  9. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    why doesn’t Haley understand that dancing sucks and is the second worst way to get women?

  10. Bwahahahaha oooh Greg…

  11. For many guys, dancing is the quickest and simplest way to look like a complete moron in front of lots of potential partners. Haley fails, and I bet she isn’t as hot as she thinks she is.

  12. “I’m assuming that the status is about a specific person, because it never fucking isn’t.” British Hobo is my hero.

  13. Meaghan fucks dogs. O.o

  14. SomeRandomChick

    I actually don’t see a whole lot of everyday guys that dance well enough to make that make sense…

  15. Eh, they don’t have to dance well, just dance for fun. And I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it when a random dude comes up to me in a bar and starts grinding on my ass… that is NOT what I am talking about. So yeah, dancing is NOT a way to pick up chicks. It’s just fun to do when you already have them. The end.

  16. the stealing car one was so painfully unfunny that my penis actually retracted inside my body. “grow a pear” coxed it out slowly :)

  17. Ohh grow a cherry…

  18. meh. I dated a guy that didn’t like to dance. Worked out fine when we would hit the clubs w/ friends. He would keep an eye on our drinks.

  19. @Dr. Azizted-Homicide Just out of curiosity, what is the worst way?

  20. I was all set to hit the thumbs down then get to the “Grow a pear”, that is without doubt the most bizarrely funny misspelling I’ve seen here.

  21. “Red rocket! Red rocket!”

    “Stanley, don’t you understand what you are doing??”

    “I was doing ‘Red Rocket’ to make the dog’s milk come out.”

  22. @6 I was thinking that, too. But I don’t think the other girl’s name is Meaghan, or anyone else in the world for that matter.

  23. Wow, Meaghan is a considerate lover. When I’m burying the bone, the only one who needs to be worried about semen allergies is Fido.

  24. Oh Soup, you and your bones amuse me.

  25. WTF is a “roofie” ?

  26. I’m cracking up so hard at Meaghan. She’s a good friend of mine, no she isn’t a vet, she was found a stud for her dog and was breeding them! As soon as I saw the blurry picture with her name, I was like, “Ahhh!! Is that Meg?!” Sure enough, I checked out her FB and it was one of her statuses from Sunday :p

    SO NO, she doesn’t fuck dogs. Sorry!

  27. Hahaha! Omg.. No, I am not into bestiality! HelloHustle is right, I was breeding my yorkie. Other breeders will know that sometimes you have to assist so the female doesn’t injure the male. Sadly, I got dog juice on my arm and had an allergic reaction. LOL. I think next time I’ll wear a biohazard suit!

  28. a roofie slang for the coolest guy there. the leader. it comes from Rufio, the leader of the lost boys during peter pan’s absence in the movie Hook with dustin hoffman and robin williams and julia roberts.

  29. *a roofie IS slang for BEING the…

    my apologies. sometimes i get too excited.

  30. and what kind of sally animal would get injured by the female during breeding? that ‘stud’ should turn in his breeding license.

  31. Big Wiggly Style

    Why do they call them roofies anyway? They should be called groundies…or floories…cause that’s most likely where you’ll end up anyway!

    …..AND I LOVE PEARS!!!! I’m going to go plant some.

  32. So you don’t fuck dogs, you just give them HJ’s. My bad.

  33. Bryan, sadly for you, I have never been in contact with a dog’s penis. My female jumped onto me after they were done breeding and some of the grossness leaked out onto my arm. “Assisting” means that I held her still during the act.

  34. @30: Bryan is Frodo.

  35. ahh so “assisting” you mean like when the extra girl holds the girl getting shagged in a porno

  36. DivineMonkeyTrigger

    I bet Hannah Montana isn’t allergic to dog semen. That bitch sucks mad lipsticks. Nothing good could possibly come from the loins of her “pony tailed, no talent, jar head cracker” of a father.

  37. why has my comment (comment #3 for the record) been “awaiting moderation” for like 6 hours?? I mean it wasn’t a great comment but why the hell didn’t it get posted?

  38. What in the hell is funny about the first one?

  39. I love the first one. I’m going to use that on all my friends’ statuses. (How sad is it that it’s going to be relevant for most of them?)

  40. What is “grow a pear” supposed to mean? Is it a slang or sth?

  41. lol

  42. @17 eyeheartbrains

    The worst way would be Matt’s suggestion. He sounds swell though…

  43. Grow a pear = grow a pair (of balls) = man up.
    Roofie – rohypnol.

  44. A roofie is a date rape drug, isn’t it? At least that’s what I heard a while back

  45. Thumby once grew a pear tree. Thumby enjoyed the fruit of his labor with a sweet, delicious orange afterward. ‘Twas a good day for Thumby.

  46. Why not a pear?

  47. yeah! go grow a pear! how d’ya like them apples??

  48. pearls-before-swine

    Am I the only one who wants to find Meaghan and ask her how she knows she’s allergic to dog sperm…?

  49. pearls-before-swine

    Whoops, guess I should have read through the comments first. Phew, I’m relieved.

  50. @divinemonkeytrigger:

    im sorry i just had to sign up to comment on the “that bitch sucks mad lipsticks’

    possibly one of the best things ive ever read.

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