Clive is an amateur. If you’re going to insult another man’s wang, you can’t give a measurement that any actual person could actually have or people will just assume you’ve not only actually seen the object in question, but measured it as well. He should have stayed with metric, and just switched units, thusly:
“Suppose it’s better than the 20mm you usually wake up to buddy”.
Or, he could go the other way and go for the cheap gay joke:
“The last time Rick saw 20cm, he was being cornholed by it.”
Or something of that nature. Seriously Clive, you may not be able to take any pride in that toothpick you call a penis, but you could at least take some pride in your work.
That she had time to post for a solution on FB (and presumably time to wait for the responses to trickle in, even whilst the poo was undoubtedly trickling down her leg) but didn’t have time to change was my first thought too.
But then I wondered, even if Karin found a way to make her now grotty white slacks *look* clean as the driven snow, what the hell did she think she was going to do about the unholy stench emanating from her nether regions? Might have been a bit of a give away.
Incidentally Karin, the answer you were looking for is *washing*. Perhaps not the quick solution you’d hoped for, but works a damn sight better than liquid-papering over the brown bits.
Either way cunfunuctky, she’s still got crap all over her pants, which has got to stink (yeah, crappy pun intended).
But if she’s wearing white denim, she could just go for the ‘jumper tied around the waist look’, which ties in nicely with the whole 80s bogan theme. And then all she needs to do is hope that all the people at her engagement have olfactory impairment and she’ll be sweet.