Friday, June 11, 2010

A Few FTWs

previous post: Planetary Updates



  1. Hello?

  2. Echo! *Echo*

  3. Sure is lonely in here.

  4. *fap, fap, fap, fap!*

  5. Alright there?

  6. They’re not as funny as they used to be.

  7. *zip* Oh…hey guys! Didn’t see you come in.

  8. These suck.

  9. Big time. Hence the fapping.

  10. Haydn shouldn’t try to be witty when he/she/whatever writes “would of” instead of “would have”.

  11. @europe_rocks: Europe really DOES rock!

  12. I laughed at volde-mart. I probably shouldn’t but i’m hoping it’s because i’m sleep deprived and about to have a long aiport wait in about 3 hours. I’d probably laugh at Bieber jokes right now.

  13. YorkshirebornNBread

    Joey Tempest would liven up Lamebook….

  14. Also, yes, Europe does rock.

  15. Umm…”would have” is correct. Haydn did write “would have.” Where’s the problem with the grammar?

  16. @HOOPS I live in Europe. Some parts rock…some, not so much.

  17. @Kaktus, well i live in England – which might be the WORST part of Europe i have to say, however i have been round & about Europe and there are some exceptionally beautiful places, especially where i am off to in the next few hours!

  18. krasivaya_devushka

    I’m coming to Europe in a month whoooo hooo ;)

    Oh and these sucked.

  19. Steve FTW though
    I love that :)

  20. @Kaktus: Haydn writes “would of” at the very start of the sentence.

  21. @Krasivaya where abouts in Europe?

  22. krasivaya_devushka

    Well first off to Russia & then to Germany, France, Switzerland and Austria ’cause I have a lot of relatives living there.

  23. @ Leebo: damn it, I’m a fool.

    @HOOPS: Sorry to say, but you may be right. I just backed out of a move to there to stay in my country, Austria. Where are you going in the next few hours, Spain??

    @krasivaya_devushka: Which cities are you visiting? Especially in Austria?

  24. Oh, me Kaktus share the same homeland. :) Grüß Gott!

  25. *me and Kaktus


  26. @ europe_rocks: Echt? Jo, servus! Wo wohnst du?

    Sorry, I’m assuming it must be English only here.

  27. “Kaktus and I” if we’re getting picky here.

  28. I’ve been to Austria skiing actually, beautiful!! I’m off to Italy in a few hours, mucho excited!

  29. Have fun! It’s supposed to be hot and I’m driving down in a couple of weeks for a long weekend. Gotta get some beach time in before I go insane. Careful this time of year, Italy is swamped with tourists.

  30. Jo, echt. Momentan in Klagenfurt lebend, aber in 3 Monat zieh ich weg hier, entw. Graz oder Wien (es is a bissl fad da). Und selber?

    Sorry guys. We’re just speaking in our secret language.

  31. For the benefit of others, auf Englisch:

    I live in Graz. Come on over…Vienna is overrated with shitty drivers (though Carinthia doesn’t have it much better). Why are you moving?

  32. krasivaya_devushka

    Austria: Vienna & Graz
    Germany: Berlin only
    France: Paris
    Switzerland: Bern & Zurich
    Russia: Sochi, Moscow & Nizhny Novgorod.

  33. krasivaya_devushka

    Haha meine Tante und ihre Familie wohnen in Wien.. (I think that’s right; it’s been a few years since I’ve studied Deutsch!)
    They love it there, but I’ll get to see for myself.

  34. I used to live in Graz for eight years, studying. I loved it and still do. Then I got a job in Klagenfurt (back home actually), went there, but it’s just not the place I want to be. And besides, I never finished my study, so that’s a reason as well. Just want to go back to the university, get my degree and hopefully a better job afterwards. I guess you’re a student too?

    @krasivaya – Wow. All the great cities on one trip. Nice.

  35. @krasivaya
    Einwandfreies Deutsch! Bravo. :)

  36. krasivaya_devushka

    Danke schön. :)

    What were you studying in Graz?

  37. German Language & Literature (Germanistik).
    I’m curious now, are you Russian? Where do you live?

  38. @ Krasivaya_devushka: Wow, coming to my city!What dates? I’m curious now too, Russian or American?

    @ europe_rocks: I’m not currently a student. Thinking about going back for another degree though. Were you at the TU? KF? or one of the other universities? It’s a great time here now, summer is great here. Always lots to do. Let me know when you want to make the trip over! I just got married and am currently moving across the city, but I can always find time to catch a drink.

  39. krasivaya_devushka

    Yes, I am. And I live in the United States. It’s going to be 8 years since I’ve been here in exactly one month.

    And that’s awesome. I loooove German language. I’ve always been good at foreign languages, but German is my favorite. :D

  40. krasivaya_devushka

    From July 15th through the end of August, but I’m not sure what exact dates I will be in Österreich. All I know is that I’ll get to celebrate my 22nd birthday in Europe. Yay! :D

    And you’re in Graz, right? I’ve heard great things about that city, but why do you say Wien is overrated?

  41. I love Graz, it’s a beautiful city. If you’re traveling/visiting, Vienna is a fun city. I would just never choose to live there. Between mid-July and August, you’ll be able to catch a number of things here. On the weekends there is live music at Mariahilfplatz, there is the Jazz festival at the Schlossberg, La Strada (Italian street festival) goes on for a time as well. Google those things if you’re looking for fun places to hang out!

  42. krasivaya_devushka

    I’ll make sure to look up some websites for more information.

  43. I liked these… :/

  44. YorkshirebornNBread

    I liked the conversations better than the posts! Its cool to see so many cool people hooking up & talking rather than the usual lunatics trying to sermonise cos they don’t like something. Go Lamebook…bringing people together in ways that facebook can only dream about! lol

  45. I laughed at the chromosome one. I’m such a nerd.

  46. Deutshlandt, Deutschlandt uber alles..

  47. I’m unfulfilled. Only second one made me chuckle, not even a good laugh. Boo lamebook!

  48. I hate repeating myself, but my Broadway show is dying. So once again I will offer this up to get some business (I’m also incredibly lazy, and have no integrity.)

    I’ve actually put together a production called Extremely Chromosomed. The rehearsals alone have taken twelve years to get everything right, but it is finally ready to be unveiled. I will give you a brief synopsis, but please note that words alone cannot capture the unbridled beauty or savage tragedy of this creation:
    46 special dancers perform exquisitely precise maneuvers, all the while singing the ever poignant E lucevan le Stelle in perfect synchronicity. The moves and the songs only grow in complexity as the show goes on. For the denouement, while the 46 specials are engaging in the most intricate human pyramid ever put on stage, I take a 47th special, shove a raging beehive down his pants and just whale on it with a stick. I then push his ass right towards the rest of the performers. That fucker is like a wrecking ball. It is glorious.

  49. Soup! Why is this not on Broadway? You could make a bundle! You need investors, you should look into that. Songs, human pyramids, beehives, sticks and asses! Genius!

  50. Eenerbl, I’ve pimped this out before on Lamebook, but no one wants to watch it. I’ve spent a third of my life putting it together, but there are no fans. A pyramid of tards getting absolutely destroyed! What else can I do?

  51. Soup, if I had the money I’d back ya. But there’s only so much I can do. I give you my approval and no more. Sorry, it’s all I got.

  52. Eenerbl, that’s all I need. You have reaffirmed my faith that there is a market for my gimpy slobs. And really, the after parties are AMAZING! Have you ever been to a tard orgy? It’s like superheroes fucking.

  53. Sadly no! Now I’m even more disappointed. Apparently I need to get out more. Look at all I’m missing. Tard orgy’s and all!

  54. word? You out there? I’m calling for ya!

  55. That’s spooky ee, I must have heard your call. I’m watching a Seinfeld marathon, and it’s on an ad break, so here I am.

  56. Whoa! See! This just proves it, we’re connected. It’s meant to be word. lol!

  57. It’s a strong connection, ee, and not even a time zone problem can fuck it up.

  58. Fuck those time zones! Who needs them? Us…never!

  59. I’m a little on the seedy side today, ee, one too many beers last night. I take it you’re on the vino at the present?

  60. A little? I’m 5 glasses in! Finished off a bottle, then opened another. I’m feeling good! So if typos occur, please excuse.

  61. I never worry about typos, ee. There’s more important things at hand, like getting Soup’s Broadway show up and running.

  62. Where is he by the way? Soup…we’re calling for you.

  63. I think he likes to leave us high and dry word, it’s his secret pleasure.

  64. He’s a sadist, that one. No doubt.

  65. Ass! That about fits it. Ass! His loss though, missing out on a fun filled adventure.

    Where is nuff? Bet a women caught his eye and he’s entangled. Ugh, Boys!

  66. Sorry ladies, I accidentally spilled some peanut butter on my penis and had to wait for the dog to clean it up.

    Sadism? On occasion. But masochism is more my speed. I am the penitent man.

  67. I knew you were there, using the dog as a excuse! Ashamed!

  68. I kinda feel like I have power. I call, and those whom I seek come (no pun, really! Well maybe a little).

  69. Soup, I meant it in the nicest possible way. I’m a masochist as well. How would that work, I wonder?

  70. I did just come! WITCH! But to tell the truth, my dog died last year. So I was just masturbating to his memory.

  71. Word, we could just belittle each other while smacking our nasty parts with a ruler.

  72. Well at least you got off. That’s important! Gratification can’t be taken tightly, so good for you. I’m jealous.

  73. *lightly…shit, too much vino.

  74. ee, gratification SHOULD be taken tightly. It’s the way I take it.

  75. My sexual muse:

  76. Soup, if you’re the masochist you say you are, I would expect it was crunchy peanut butter you were using?

  77. Well then, I speak too soon! By all means, show me the way word! I feel as though I have lost the art. I want to please.

  78. Now how did you possibly mix up the “t” with the “l”? I’m with Word, it has to be tight. My physical limitations required it.

  79. The dog’s a sweetie, Soup.

  80. Is that a husky? If so, that explains so much.

    I’m with ya on the crunchy word.

  81. Vino Soup, vino… I’ve been drinking since 8pm, and it’s almost 4am…God help me. ee is drunk!

  82. Good thing though, it means I’m open for anything. OK, I shouldn’t have said ‘anything’, oh well.

  83. Kegels will show you the way Eenerbl. I do them so that I can pretend I’m Old Faithful, but my geyser is filled with vanilla pudding.

    He was actually an Alaskan Malamute. Grendel. He was a total monster, but I still miss him.

  84. It was a subconscious typo, ee. It was what your mind was really thinking.

  85. I’ve said goodbye to 2 hounds, Soup. Always heartbreaking.

  86. Kegels huh? I’ll look into that, I’ve longed for a geyser!

    Word, you have no idea!

  87. OK, I’m a new pet owner. First dog ever! Don’t make me look into the future. Dogs past and shit, I need not weep for the future. I want to hold that off.

  88. I didn’t mean to be a downer, ee. Enjoy your dog, it will never let you down, and now you know what to do the next time you spill peanut butter on your crotch.

  89. Indeed Word. I’ve had too many pets. Here’s a story for you ladies: I used to have a snake (I got him when I was ten). Well, a bunch of years ago I was going out for the night and it was feeding time for Monty (he was a python. I was such a clever child). So I toss a mouse into the cage and go on my merry way. I come home the next day to find that the snake is dead and the mouse is happily cleaning its little floppy rodent ears.

    What do I do now? The snake is easy, he gets buried in the back yard, but what about the mouse? The pet store wouldn’t take him back. Toss him outside? He’d probably just find his way back in and start nibbling on my cereal. Flush him down the toilet? Too cruel. So that’s how I ended up with a pet mouse. I even bought the little bastard one of those running wheel thingees. He lived for another year, until one night I came home and he was dead. Thus, the circle of life was complete.

  90. Oh Soup, that’s sad. I too am am Snake owner, two at that. Megatron and Captain Insaneo. I love them dearly. They leave mince astray all the time. I feel ya. Aww, I’d hug you if I could.

  91. At that, ee needs to go to bed. Double vision is kicking in, and typing is too complex.

    word, Soup…till next time.

  92. Eenerbl, when you come back tomorrow, I’d like to know what kind of snakes you have. Also, I’ll bet you a dollar that your dog weighs less than 25 pounds.

  93. The mouse that offed the snake. Cool.

    Night ee. You guys can keep your pet snakes. I’m only interested in snakes of the trouser kind.

  94. The mouse did NOT kill my snake. I wasn’t there, but I picture the mouse telling stories of apples and naked ladies to ease Monty’s passing.

    You would love the floppy thing I’ve got hiding in my pants. And based on genetics, I have quite the poison delivery system.

  95. Soup, I liked the idea of a little rodent with the ability to kill something much bigger than itself, but it turns out it was just Monty’s time. Fair enough.

    With regard to your other snake, I’ve always had the feeling it could kill me if I got too close to it, but I’m willing to risk it for the opportunity.

    Enjoy the rest of your evening, my dear.

  96. Soup – I had a ball python named Monty, too (and I thought I was the clever one!). His tank mate was Maya. They both mysteriously died hours after eating mice :(

  97. lol

  98. ^^ditto.

  99. Oh Lamebook…. Don’t fail me.

  100. I wonder if we’ll be getting any Lamebook posts about this England vs USA game. I don’t know who I want to lose more. England lose and Mrs Hobo gets to lord it over me, USA lose and I have to put up with everyone going nuts about football until the England team inevitably lose a few weeks down the line.

    Whoever wins, I lose… come on Lamebook, you’ve gotta give us something.

  101. Retarded people are always so spoiled and act like they can do and say anything and will get away with it because their parents don’t discipline them. They can be you know!

    What’s with all the talk about dogs and snakes and mice? That bored with this batch?

  102. I would have came when you called ee, but I was a little attached at the time.
    Soup, I would love to endorse said play mentioned above once I win the lotto. The tard orgy can be arranged at the penthouse afterwards.

  103. krasivaya_devushka

    I watched the game too, and I was hoping England would win, but it didn’t happen.

    Are the British mad at the goalie for making the mistake that he did today? 0.o

  104. hobo, if you’re cynical about football, there really must be nothing left.

    why don’t you go and watch a movie classic like snakes on a plane? that’ll cheer you up – and remind you that perfection IS possible.

    and @krasivaya – no we’re not mad – just a weary sense of resignation. :-(

  105. eh, these are half funny. I half enjoyed the comments too, good for you guys having convos, cute dog Soup, my condolences.

  106. I was just re-reading my comment and I wrote “I just got married…but I’m always up for a drink.” I meant that to mean I’ve been busy lately, not that I’m up for an affair. I don’t know if anyone took it that way, but just thought I’d clarify.

  107. Krazy Eyez Killa

    BritishHobo, I watched it and I do hate Rob Green. Mrs Killa didn’t understand all the fuss I was making, I managed to avoid doing a Bateman when we got home though, just.

  108. @106. thanks for clarification. First lol on this page for me :)

  109. YorkshirebornNBread

    @british hobo
    re: world cup..USA v England…

    Nuff said. end of chat. bugger.

  110. It seems the post are much better when your drunk. Why did I stay sober today?

  111. No Lamebook posts on the weekend makes Benningtons something something.

  112. go crazy?

  113. Haydn is obviously inexperienced in this. everyone knows that if you’re doing stuff illegal, you don’t put the money in a bank account. they trace that shit.

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