Monday, March 29, 2010

A FANtastic Way to Start Your Week

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previous post: Take A Dance on Me



  1. Underwhelming.

  2. Strap on is no parts backwards- LOL!!!

    Brown- lurn2spel/tipe


  4. I’m sure it’s obvious, but just in case, here’s what Brown would have typed, if her keyboard wasn’t so “tricky”:

    I feel depressed now that all of my friends are married and have kids and houses and all that jazz. However, I’m still at school (obviously failing out soon) and struggling (see? I told ya!). AND… AND I just have a boyfriend and a kid. Nexium is good facial moisturizer, btw. Back to me, though, the funny part is they keep calling me and telling me about their jobs and husbands, etcetera. I hope you all know that by “funny”, I’m being sarcastic, since it’s obviously not funny to me. And I hate my kid.

    There we go, all better.

  5. hah! the strap on bit is genius.

  6. People named “Black” and “Brown” – in back-to-back Lamebook entries. Interesting.

    And Brown, I don’t care how effing stupid you are; people who type like that deserve to be taken out back and shot. Period.

  7. Who has a first name of Black? Or of Brown?

    The only way this is acceptable, is if Brown’s full name is “Brown Shoes”, which she was given as a nickname because she grew up on a farm.

  8. Im still laughing about Joe becoming a fan… and oscillating. hahahahah

  9. I love that Brown’s so peed off that everybody else has husbands and kids while ALL SHE HAS is just a boyfriend and kid. Like ‘oh, I don’t really love em, but I would if I was legally the partner of my boyfriend.’

    And didn’t get Joe’s until I read KayCee’s comment. But now I like xD

  10. this is just an opinion of course but after several months of reading these Lamebook entries I am of the belief that every college should monitor all the Facebook entries of their students.

    Anyone having a status that looking remotely like Browns would be immediately expelled.

    If I were running a college I wouldn’t want anyone to associate my school of higher education with that idiot.

  11. How sad is it that I look forward to Monday’s when Lamebook starts posting again so I can read everyone’s comments? Be honest.

    And I thought most of these were funny as fuck. Especially the Lady Gaga one. Hahaha

  12. I had to explain the strap on one to m husband..*sigh* Innocence is cute, but annoying. xD

  13. I get that Adam’s comment on joining the group “I’ve Never Seen A Pregnant Chinese Lady” was funny, but I don’t get the reason behind forming the group in the first place. Can someone explain, or does the phrase “pregnant Chinese lady” have some new meaning that I need to look up on urban dictionary?

  14. very sad Lulz.

  15. @Wednesday – if it does, please enlighten us. Though I figure people are making groups of just about everything imaginable.

  16. Here’s a perfect way to test the power of Lamebook. The teacher one has only got about 150 fans. I joined (assuming and hoping that the title was a deliberate mistake) and a couple of my mates joined without prompting. Will anyone else join to see if it snowballs?

  17. Elizabeth Bathory

    Joe saved this entry.

  18. @Wednesday: Maybe its “social commentary” about China’s one child policy? Hmmmm. I don’t know what else it could be.

  19. mcowles, shut the fuck up.

  20. A pregnant Chinese Lady is a sexual position.

    It dates back to the early days of rice farms in the mostly agricultural areas of the SW regions of the country.

    First, the man lays on his back and the woman squats over him (like she’s giving birth to a baby in a field). Next the man calls her fat and the woman starts crying. THEN, she rides him while choking him and he punches her in the stomach over and over again.

    Tricky position, but oh.em.gee, it’s amazing.

  21. mcowles, you win.

  22. What do I win, dawn? Please say it’s a pregnant chinese lady!!!!

  23. I knew it! You win a Shaolin Shishkabob.

  24. @mcowles (4)

    Brilliant translation. Very helpful for those of us who aren’t fluent in Drunk…

  25. vandelay as in vandelay industries?

    Now whenever I see your name I’m just gonna think of George Costanza. I won’t be able to help it.

    1st post

    Actually it’s quite feasible that one has not seen a pregnant Chinese lady. They’re only allowed to have one baby, so blink and you might miss it.

  26. Yes, and you’re welcome.

  27. @mcowles (#20)

    Sounds almost as fun as the Menopausal German Housewife…

  28. @vandelay

    Very true, but I don’t like cleaning up that much, after sex.

    If I wanted to shampoo the carpets after sex, I wouldn’t have said no to that homeless woman that wanted a threesome with her pee-jar!

  29. Emm, I really don’t get what’s funny about Marko’s one… Is the idea meant to be “ffffffuuuucccckkk I didn’t mean to become a fan of Lady Gaga” which is just silly, who doesn’t want to be her fan.

  30. @mcowles

    Probably a good call there; it’s usually best to stick to just you and the pee jar.

  31. @hello-kitty

    yeah.. i wasnt understanding that one either… im a huge fan of lady gaga.. huge enough that i paid $400 for my tickets this summer for her show!
    wasn’t a fan at all the opportunities for pre-sale..which were just turned around and sold at an extremely higher price.
    but anyways…
    joe’s post cracks me up the most.

  32. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    @ GoddessDigi hmm…I don’t get the strap on one either. :(

  33. bollywood_rocks83

    Monkey, strap ons are usually used by women not men. A man already has “the parts” to do what a strap on does. So in effect, a woman using a strap on doesn’t have the parts a man has.

    Hope it helps because at the end of typing, I got all confused!

  34. Weird, I feel like I’ve seen a million pregnant Chinese ladies. Or maybe I just notice them moer because being so timy that belly sticks off them like they’re about to spawn an alien or something…

  35. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    Ohhhhhhh!!! Thanks for enlightening me bolly … or woody… or rocky Hmm… Now I’m more confused…

    This is probably going to sound stupid (or naive) but whatever… Are these used by lesbians or something? If they are, why use it if they’re attracted to women only? If they’re trying to mimic the male-female interaction, I’m sure the real thing would feel better than whatever the strap thing is made from. Right?

  36. @MonkeyCMonkeyDo Are you serious? Educate yourself. And not on Lamebook.

  37. @jelly

    It’s funny you should say that because I saw a pregnant Chinese lady the other day and I didn’t even notice her bump until she put her hand on it and said “the baby”.

  38. Her dress was extremely stylish though, so maybe she’s just got good pregnancy camouflage skills.

  39. RingingInMyHead

    @EmKitteh: Ninja baby…

  40. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    @smartcookie if you don’t know the answer, just say so! if someone knew the answer, what harm in them telling me? good grief! lighten up!

  41. The strap on/no parts thing actually makes me think of a male who has lost his parts, somehow, yet still wants to fuck. After all, a vagina is still “parts”!

  42. @Monkey, there are any number of reasons why a man OR a woman might choose to use a strap-on, not the least of which is for lesbians to mimic male-female interaction. Sometimes men want to get fucked too, or use a strap-on himself for some DP action. Takes all kinds, ya know?

  43. @EmKitteh – wowzer what a difference – far from well dressed, the majority of pregnant Asian women I see appear to harbour a fondness for maternity dungarees. Such a mistake…

  44. LOLZ!!!


  46. come to think of it, i don’t know that i’ve ever seen a pregnant any-kind-of-asian woman.

  47. lol

  48. Has nobody noticed that Joe “BACAME” a fan?

  49. Yes, Joe wrote that himself.

  50. I still don’t get the Lady Gaga one…

  51. @Monkey The thing about lesbians is that they’re not thinking about men at all, because they’re lesbians. So it’s not mimicking male-female anything, its just penetration for the sake of pleasure.

  52. @49: I know :) but it makes it more lame…

  53. Strap on…interesting.

    Sammich made me giggle :)

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