Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A Couple of Sharp Tools

previous post: Extra! Extra!

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59 Comments

  1. Ben! Frodo! First! Second?

  2. Yay, Scott! Holocaust smack ALWAYS works.
    Fucking nimrod.

  3. Neither of those camps will do, Camp Crystal Lake is one hell of a place to go though! Briana, you should join them.

  4. Briana, you should go make Jason an extra sandwich because of that fail of an answer of yours.

  5. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    dimwit = briana

    P.S.She doesn’t deserve the courtesy of a capital “B”.

  6. These aren’t funny. Who ever is picking these has lost whatever sense of humor they had. Seriously.

  7. ahaha i <3 the racist one thats sexist.

  8. HOLY SHIT IT IS THE KITCHEN UTENSIL THAT IS GETTING ME MODERATED! I just tried to post the same comment, with the kitchen utensil which must not be named tacked on to the end. Does it have a strange deviant meaning I’m unaware of?

    #1 is what happens when stupid people collaborate, and one idiot thinks they’re just a tad brighter than the other morons.

  9. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    Miss Shegas, what does this kitchen utensil do?

  10. The pan that fries is being moderated because it is used as a derogatory term for Asians who refuse to grow up.

  11. wok

  12. Soup, are you being facetious or sincere about that term? I’ve never heard it, but I’m not exactly a master of the racial pejorative.

    And did you really just register somedayiwillbangwordpervert.com yesterday? Because that would be awesome.

  13. @Nuff Camp Crystal Lake HAHAHA good one you made my day with that

  14. @Miss Shegas

    No, it was just a bad joke. A horribly convoluted Peter Pan reference.

    Register?

  15. Frying pan?

  16. Seriously?

  17. I can’t saying “C”rying pan, but I can say that I put hot sauce in my dog’s anus and had my elderly neighbor with glaucoma lick it out, while I rubbed sandpaper on her backside because she had diarrhea trickling down all over the place.

    That’s cool.

  18. The Aristocrats!

  19. @cupidscurse Any time cupid, any time.

  20. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    f……..rying pan

  21. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    frying pan

  22. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    THAT’S THE WORD! Ok… Now I can sleep in peace :D

  23. Frying Pan? Seriously? What has this world come to…

  24. Frying in hell is similar to that of a pan.

  25. Oh my god, dying here. A concentration camp and a military camp, brilliant. Long term stays hahaha I love Scott.

  26. Scott! Best laugh I’ve gotten from here since Mario And Dreddy.

    And Briana needs to think before she types, in this case.

  27. And just for the record, the present active tense of the verb that explains what the kitchen utensil that must not be named is used for, also just got me modded. Cuh. Razy.

    Soupy, I was so truly hoping the site thing would be true. I googled it, and the domain came up as having been registered / purchased yesterday. Is it possible someone else has your exact same desirous thoughts about our lovely Ms. Wordy?

  28. Ms. Word seems to have upgraded to internet stalkers she’s gotten so popular.
    And what’s up Miss Shegas? As a note, (F)ry on its own gets moderated as well. Fries is ok though.

  29. Miss Shegas, what the?

  30. What are your thoughts on this Ms. Word?

  31. Miss Shegas, if it happened, it wasn’t me. It is entirely possible that someone else is breaking out a (tiny) cockblock to ruin my dreams. I just wanted to unequivocally state my intentions, and also remind myself to maintain a repository for all the potential photo/video evidence of our encounter(s).

    I drink a lot (A LOT!), so I often have holes in my memory that can only be covered by writing down my actions/goals. A web address is as good as any other notation, so I take advantage of the technology. If you’re not careful to be less of a fascinating woman, missshegas’spussyexplodesduetosoup’sminstrations.com will soon be online.

  32. Umm, are you guys saying there is a website registered with my name?
    I shall check it out.
    This is the first I’ve heard of it, and what Peter Pan thing are you talking about, Soupy Sales?

  33. Ohhh Soup, you’re my hero. One day, I aspire to be like you, and I believe i’ve already got the drinking down to a fine art, shotguns, beer bongs, beer pong, Eric Clapton’s (half beer, half vodka for those who don’t know), Strikeouts, and a variety of other rules that force you to drink stupid amounts of alcohol if you’re not careful around your friends.

  34. I’m confused, ok, I’ve reread, and your referring to something Miss was saying about the fr.y.ing pan thing. We commented about it on an earlier post today.

    Don’t worry about me, I’m still getting my head around the web address with my lamebook name on it. Sounds funny, I wonder whp did that?

  35. Sounds like a drunken Soup kind of thing, but who knows?, could have been you, nuff for all I know, you likey the booze as much as he does, don’t you mate?

    I know for sure one person it wouldn’t have been.

  36. word, i’m a professional alcoholic. I take the role very seriously and try my best to make sure I succeed where others have failed. Curse you AA!

  37. @nuff
    Your effort is admirable, but true reckless drinking only requires yourself and a case/bottle, and a glass. Friends might not be available, but booze is always there. Enveloping. Cottony. Like being in your mama’s bosom. Heaven.

    @Word
    The joke (very bad):
    Asians that refuse to grow up = the Pan that fries
    The pan that fries = Flying Pan
    Flying pan = Peter Pan
    Quite a stretch I know, but I can’t be about bleeding assholes on every post.

    As for the web thing, check the link in my blue name.

  38. Ok, so how’d you find it?, you go looking for something pervert related?

    And excuse my complete ignorance on matters such as these, but what does it mean? Did someone create it, and register it as an address, or what?

    Feeling dumb.

  39. Wise words oh Soupy one. Enjoying a brew right now, though I gotta admit I drink a lot more casually on my own. That work thing makes hangovers a bitch. Though there have been a number of occasions where i’ve gotten sick at work. My favourite was when I left halfway through the day and puked out the side of my car at a main intersection before making it one more block and upchucking again after pulling over. It was when some people followed me off to the side of the road and asked if I was ok when I told them “Don’t worry, i’m a professional.” Ohhh, the memories.

  40. can’t wait til Amy googles that one.

  41. Oh Word, you’re so cute when you’re confused. With your nose all crinkled up and your head tilted to the side.

    I just plugged the words into my profile. It’s a nonexistent site (for now). Try http://www.soupisthegreatestloverever.com. It’s the same thing. These domain names could be registered, but they haven’t been (for now).

  42. nuff, gotta love a boozy, puke inducing, hangover, work day story. Keep them coming.

    And by the way, I empathise.

  43. I get it now, Soupy Sales. Intriguing you knew my nose was crinkled, and my head was tilted. The only thing you didn’t have down, was which side it was tilted towards.

    You’re good, but I already knew that.

  44. And in relation to YOUR web address, I’ll take a punt, and say that’s probably true.
    Damn it, as I will more than likely, never know.

  45. @nuff, many years ago I used to drive a mattress delivery truck. I had to be in at 8:00 am on Saturdays, but I didn’t like to ruin my Fridays by actually being rested for my shift. So I’d drive straight from whatever party I was at to work, and sleep in my car. My boss would wake me up in the parking lot, be disgusted by my boozy stench, and then demand that I drive his 20,000lb vehicle and be the face of his company. He had a bad business model.

  46. I’m really lucky with one of my earlier jobs in life where I worked at a car body shop. Still had my L at the time, but that combined with a hangover translated into a few mishaps along the way. It was convenient that they repaired the damage I caused along with what originally needed to be done. Bumper to bumper, back end into wall, bumper into trailer hitch… Hmmmm…. What else can I remember? Best part was that I never got fired. I quit because they weren’t paying me enough. There’s some beer logic there.

  47. Good stories boys, unfortunately, I get way too close to people in my line of work, so I have to very careful. Strong mints can mask some of the night/early morning before, if I’m lucky.

  48. Word, I truly enjoy that you’re calling me Soupy Sales. That is the genesis of my name.

    Our love might only ever exist in the ether, but that makes it no less valid.

  49. We will have what we can, yes indeed.

  50. @nuff

    You can do body work? I’ve got a ’68 GTO that needs a whole lot of fender fixin’. We should work something out.

  51. …I need to go clean up now. ’68 GTO? A case of beer and I get to drive it and i’ll git-r-done ASAP. Mind you, my experience is limited in that area though seeing as i’ve moved on to other things, but god damn do I want that car!

  52. Convertible. I bought it when I was 18 and haven’t let go. I won’t go into all the sordid details, but it needs a lot of work. I’m pretty sure that the day I finish the restoration, I will die.

  53. And by die, you mean drive it off a cliff with the top down completely wasted? A good way to go! At least you’ll do it in style. Alas, I must go to sleep. Good luck with the restoration! Night Soup, and night word.

  54. lol

  55. I prefer Camp Arawak myself.

  56. Or if you can’t afford japan, try the Japanese Internment Camp.

  57. At FIRST I thought the group was some kind of twist on the women/sandwich joke, but it turns OUT the creator of the group just has a disease which means they must capitalize random WORDS.
    For no reason.

  58. Yet another example of the comments being more interesting than the original material. Keep up the good work folks :]

  59. TylerDurdenUMD

    Could always run Auschwitz as a camp for fat kids.

    I know, I know….I’m going to hell.

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