Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Cornucopia of Love

ACornucopiaOfLove1

ACornucopiaOfLove2

previous post: Losing the Race

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55 Comments

  1. sigh

  2. Holidays. What a wonderful time for family and togetherness.

  3. This year, I give thinks for not being a part of Hailey’s family.

  4. Oh for the love of ass hair. Another reason I am home schooling my child.

  5. Anyone that has a status long enough to require the “read more” button should probably be injured severely and multiples times.

  6. This is probably going to be an awkward dinner.

  7. Ah family, the reason why so many never return home for the holidays.

  8. I wonder how many people a turkey pot pie will feed?

  9. See more!

    FFS, can’t they click ‘see more’ before they click print screen????

  10. I wanna see more of that 9th comment ! that was the best ! argggg

  11. Somebody please go and rip out the Caps Lock key from Hailey’s keyboard. Thanks.

  12. It’s people who talk like this that make me want to invent a special day of the year. We have “Talk Like a Pirate Day” already so what I’m proposing is “Talk Like a Retard Day” where anything you know about spelling, grammar or the English language all together goes out the window. Basically just pretend that you were dropped on your face as a child like these retards.

  13. *passes the eye bleach around*
    Hey, leave some for the Tubguy post!

  14. You know it’s getting bad when FAMILY have a Facebook argument. *facepalm*

  15. I like turtles.

  16. The arguments are always my favourite.

  17. Ahh, the spirit of family, forgiveness, and love…
    It warms my heart :)

  18. I can tolerate dysfunction. I can tolerate arguing on FB. I can even tolerate the ridiculous typos, but, for crying out loud, Hailey, what is up with the random capitalization? There’s no method to it.

  19. ^
    Agreed.
    I will never understand the whole random capitalization thing. It takes way more effort than typing it out properly.

  20. The keyboard: a mighty complex instrument for today’s computer-oriented generation.

  21. And I would looveee to know what that 9th comment says too.
    I can only imagine…
    BEEN WiTH AVERy fOR 3 MONtHS & BEfOR HiM it WAS JaSON fOR 4 HoLE MONtHS DATS LiKE fOREVA!

  22. Here’s what the rest of her status reads:
    SChOOOl ? GAyy ! i hAtE it SO BORiNG tEACHERSS ARE StUPiD. UGhh ! tRYiNG tO KEEP My GRADES Up i DONt tHINK i EVER tRiED tHiS HARD iN SCHOOOl BEfORE ! I NEED tO SEE tHE BOO REAl SOON yAyy.CHRiStMASS iS COMiNG UP SHOESS ! i REAlly DO NEEEED SOME SHOESS & JEANSS. tHANKSGiViNG :) AVERyy Willl BE tHERE .CANt WAit fOR HiM t…O MEAt tHE RESt Of tHE fAMilyy. hOPE EVERyONE liKES HiM ! ( GRANDMA )

    9th comment:
    yA fORREAl i AiNt EVEN tRiPPPiN Offf thEM NiGGGAZ CAUSE Alll i NEEED iS GRANDMAS OPiNiON & fOR tRACyy U AiNt GOt NO PlACE tO SAyy SHit ABOUt ME U DONt KNO NOtHiN U JUS HEAR SHit ABOUt ME SO yEAA iM PRETTTy SURE U CANT SAY MY BOYFRIENDS COME & GO BECAUSE U AINT AROUND & JUS TO LET U IN ON A LITTLE INFO i BEEN WitH AVERy fOR 3 MONtHS & BEfOR HiM it … See MoreWAS JOSH & ME JOSH WERE tOGEtHER fOR 2 yEARSS SO fAlll BACk U DONt KNO ME. && KAylA yEA UR MOM AINT STUPID BUT LIKE BRITT SAiD SHE fAKE AS HEll. BUt IM NOT TRIPPPIN OFFF NONE OF U GUYSS CAUSE THROUGH ALLL THE HARD TIMES && Allll tHE SHit i BEEEEN tHROUGH AINT NONE OF BEEEN THERE BUT GRANDMA & SHELLLEYYY & BRITTTANyy ONLY 3 PPL OUT OF WHAT 20 PPL IN OUR FAMILYY. WTFF. & U CALLL THIS A FAMILYY TRACYY ??? HA HA HA HA LOL I GUEESSSS I NEED TO STAY IN SCHOOL TO LEARN THAT THAN. SO STAY OFF My CASE AND LETS BE THERE FOR GRANDMA.

  23. Jason, Josh. I was close.
    2 years, I’m surprised.

  24. ” HA HA HA LOL I GUEESSSS I NEED TO STAY IN SCHOOL ”

    yes, you do need to stay in school and for the love of all that is great and good I hope they teach you the proper use of a keyboard dammit!

  25. So Hailey’s been with Avery for 3 months…that’s like 7,776,000 seconds.

    Suck on that, Ben.

  26. @ Dr. Hymen
    Agreed. Maybe she’s ridiculously bored. Or maybe she’s just retarded. Poor girl.

  27. Perhaps the keyboard’s stuck. Or she was drunk. Or she chewed on lead as a baby. I refuse to believe anyone could type like Hailey.

  28. FoR SZho! FawK dEm BetChz!

    …tweens really need to gtfo the internet.

  29. There was a point in this post where I was considering attempting to work out who is who in this family. It came and went.
    If they teach one thing at Hailey’s clearly failing school, it should be that status updates are for BRIEF thoughts/statements/ideas/whatever. It does not substitute for “Dear Diary.” Strangely enough noone wants to exactly every single tiny thing you did/thought today. Really.

  30. OooOOoO LoOk, It’s ShINy!

  31. After reading the rest of it I feel sorry for Kayla. Damn they hate her mom.

  32. yikes! im exhausted reading this…

  33. holy shit. i want to “best of” this

  34. Hailey, Tracy, Brittany, Shelley, Johnnie, Lyndsey?? This family’s IQ just dropped 60 points.

  35. @ohlala – I hear you! I wanted to read this, I really did, but I quit after the second comment. Can anyone give me a summary..?

  36. It must take hours to write something like that.

  37. @35
    summary:
    Hailey is bringing new boyfriend to thanksgiving
    Tracy doesn’t want her to
    Hailey defends herself while calling Kayla’s mom stupid
    Kayla defends her mom; Tracy sides with Kayla
    Brittany steps in and disses Kayla’s mom siding with Hailey
    kind of pointless to go any further with this. nothing gets resolved in the end.

    summary is almost as long as the damn post. haha

  38. Every time I read these I read it in a trashy southern accent like on Jerry Springer. I went to school with kids just like that. Man do I hate kids.

  39. I need help understanding the whole purpose behind using multiple letters where there should only be 1. Is that how girls are trying to look “cute” these days? Or is she unsure of how to spell these things and puts a few extra letters for good measure?

  40. No point in buying SHOESS for Hailey tHiS CHRiStMASS – AVERyy will probably be getting her pregnant and keeping her barefoot in no time. Him, or possibly her fatherrr.
    fORREAl, U NiGGGAZ!

  41. Okay, I’m not even sure where to begin here.
    This status update should maybe be in the script for a Ritalin commercial. So many random statements. Maybe Hailey hates school so much because she can’t focus for three seconds?

  42. Generation Why?

  43. I think this girl should spend WAY more time working on the first part of her status. Trying hard at school? wIITH THISS MANYY ExtrA LETTERZZ iT mUST bE WelL HArd tOo ACHEIeeve ANYYtiinGG

    Although randomly hitting the shift key whilst thinking and typing is a great multitasking feat.

  44. posty mcposterson

    @ 39 RED – I hate the use of extra letters as well. I really think that some people do it because they think they will appear less stupid if they misspell the word on purpose as opposed to giving it a try and failing. I am pretty sure it is just pure laziness.

  45. Come on you guys, you don’t have to be such B’s!

  46. hailey is an idiot. no wonder she hates school.

  47. In the good old days we thought harsh living conditions, poverty, and lack of opportunities for education was the cause of stupidity. Ah, how naive we were.

  48. Why do people feel the constant need to air their family problems on their status where EVERYONE can read it??? Is it an incessant need for drama? Pure Stupidity? Or a bit of both???

  49. Why does this person feel the need to cause headaches in others with her incoherent text?

  50. I believe that we have hit the shallow end of the gene pool repetitively with Hailey’s head.

    And just when I thought I’d never find a use for my new favorite comic… here it is.

    For the educated ones here that can still see after the eye-bleaching and have a half-second to read the actual English sentences after that disaster, here it is.

    http://xkcd.com/512/

  51. my head exploded.

  52. Urge to kill, rising.

    God I hate fucking teenagers.

  53. @MissMetal You probably shouldn’t be fucking teenagers anyway. Just saying.

  54. why not? It’s fun for them

  55. What a fun holiday season it must of been for that family!

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