Tuesday, March 6, 2012


previous post: Give It Up!



  1. Actually funny…

  2. So Snooki will conceive on March 21st?

  3. ^ And many people will unfortunately tune in to watch.

    It won’t be the end of the world, but it will be the end of the world as we know it.

  4. Cows have a longer gestation period than humans.

  5. Zing!

  6. Cows have a higher flow rate of period juices than humans also.

  7. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Do cows even have a period? Because not all mammals do. Cats, for example, are what’s called an “induced ovulator”. The spikey barbs on the ends of a cats penis initiate a hormonal response in the female that causes her to ovulate. Nature is gross.

  8. Cats go into heat much like dogs.

  9. @jzimbert -In case you didn’t know, gestation period for humans is 40 weeks. That’s 10 months.

  10. @a1346 – The only month that is exactly 4 weeks long is February in a non-leap year. Assuming that every month had 31 days, 40 weeks would be 9.0 months. If every month had 30 days, 40 weeks would be 9.3 months. Depending on which months the pregnancy covers, the number will vary slightly, but it will never be 10 months. The true number should be roughly 9.1 months.

  11. @a1346 – It’s not so much that I didn’t know, it’s just that I didn’t care.

  12. @ Aidan: Also, even in a relatively comprehensive lexicon of any language, encyclopedia or atlas the A and the Z are maximum about 6 cm apart. (I just measured my Collins English and English-French) Which, I would say based on my personal tackle is a tadge small for a tadger. The only possible scenario in which this would make sense is a multi-volume jobby, such as the Encyclopaedia Britannica which I don’t think was the implication in this case. Even if this were the intention, the A and the Z would be roughly 112 cm apart (at 32 volumes each 3.5 cm thick), which I know for certain many girls (and guys/other?) would find superfluous, with regards to penis length.

    To sum up, the most probable suggestion this quote makes is that the writer has a penis between the size of 1.5 and 6 cm because (besides the award-winning single mm on a qwerty keyboard) that is the distance apart which the letters A and Z are most commonly found due to the prolificity of dictionaries and other notable works with an A to Z separation which falls within this range. (I have tested, in additon to the aforementioned dictionaries, a reverse dictionary (5 cm), Oxford’s humourous quotations (5 cm), History in Quotations (5cm), Easy School German (3cm), American English (3.5 cm), Oxford, of Law (2.5 cm), and a particularly minute collins pocket latin measuring in at a tincy 1.5 cm.)

    The tl’dr is: Nick’s dick is a wee tiny prick.

  13. ^Way too much research into the fictional cocksize of a stranger than what can be considered healthy.
    Seek help.

  14. butterscotchcandy

    peterpiper, it sounds like you own an unnecessarily large number of dictionaries.

  15. Nick is an idiot

  16. DrChalk…I’m not sure. Try milk one, if it comes out pink and doesn’t taste like strawberry milkshake it’s could be period juice.

  17. Or jizz, if it’s white and in small quantities.

    Beware the bull.

  18. OK, so first of all, Adam stole that straight out of an article.

    Secondly, how is Snooki’s due date Dec. 21? She would have to know the due date before she got pregnant. Yeah, the longest average period of gestation is 40 weeks or 9 months. I also heard she’s like 18 weeks pregnant. Damn, that would mean she would be pregnant for like 14 months! That’s a long ass pregnancy!!

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