Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What You Care to Share

previous post: The Owned Zone

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89 Comments

  1. first
    ben

  2. Jennifer takes out the skank of the month award. NASTY!

  3. @schiuma: i’m not sure that having parasites makes one a skank. but agreed, it is nasty.

  4. Oh, Jennifer :(

  5. Gross

  6. Hunter, chuck those nasty fucking sheets out you discusting twerp!!!!

    Jennifer, you made me vomit a little in my mouth.

  7. Jesus fucking Christ! Ol’ Jen can’t be in her right mind. I guess anyone that has to deal with internal parasites isn’t exactly all there in the first place. But why the fuck would anyone want to make shit like that public?

  8. I couldn’t agree more Spanky. Wish I wasn’t eating my breakfast at this moment. Gross.

  9. I’m just thinking along the line that if this is an avarage post for her and her nearest and dearest can see it, what else would she say / do in front of others. Also “colonic hydrotherapy” is that medical speak for a bowel douche? mmmm worm douchebagette.

  10. Hunter and Jennifer should meet up. Imagine that relationship.

  11. #1 Guessing Hunter didn’t post this, but the person who has to clean his shit up did post it.

    #2 A good night indeed. Were the microscope slides on your dick too? I don’t understand how they fit in with the fun.

    #3 I hope Taylor didn’t post that. Gross. I weep for the future.

    #4 Marizzly – Is that a name you made up? WTF kind of name is that??!!

    #5 Nasty. General rule- keep the stuff that comes out of your ass to yourself.

  12. WhyNotTheWhales

    I quite like Daniel’s post. Sounds like an awesome night out!

  13. Jennifer’s freaked me out rather a lot….why the hell would somebody want to share that??

  14. I was moderately laughing, enjoying a pretty good lamebook entry, and then came Jennifer. Speechless. Horrible image, just simply horrible.

  15. @howdy. Take it one step further to post anal sex.

  16. ok am i the only one being a bit confused by the fired/going to jail part ?

    How in the hell is one in league with the other ?

  17. Gag. Gag. Gag.

  18. @Father Sha:
    Must’ve been a teacher.

  19. @Father Sha, it’s possible Mr. ____ is her teacher and she is under age. That was my first thought, anyway.

  20. Yeah that’s how I took it as well, she must have been a junior high or high student.

  21. Jennifer is a parasite, that is disgusting.

  22. That is just nasty! WTF?

  23. well that makes more sense , i should have figured that one out myself …

    But still , bless all of you for enlightening me.

  24. No night that involved CiCi’s pizza could possible be described as “good”. That place redefines vile. I can’t even imagine how drunk Daniel would have had to be to think going there was a good idea.

    On the other hand, going to CiCi’s is an excellent way to induce vomiting, so maybe that’s what he was going for.

  25. I want some macaroni pizza please.

  26. Although now I am thinking of Jennifer and I really don’t want to eat anything for a while now.

  27. dancesforcookies

    I was going to cook spaghetti for my kids tonight, after reading Jennifers post i think i will do something else.

  28. Jennifer is clearly a cat.

  29. @ Father Sha:
    ‘Home passes’ (as far as I know) are used in juvenile detention centers and psychiatric detention centers. The whole thing seems like they were in a psychiatric residential center.

  30. Oh dear Lord.

    Sha, is it still gay to weep? Even after all this…? :(

  31. OMG, that Jennifer stuff, can that really happen? Its freaked me out a bit.

  32. Oh why, oh why is there no way to unread some of these things. GAH!

  33. Is anyone else worried that they might have a nest of worms inside them? I don’t know how they would’ve got there, but I’m a little freaked out.

  34. Yeah, worms inside me would freak me out, but it’s the word nest that does it for me. That quantifies how much was in there, and makes me wanna vomit.

  35. maybe jenn should of gotten as drunk as hunter…

  36. Colon Cleansing is just another woo woo science that suckers folk into paying millions of dollars every year. While there’s certainly parasites out there most folk will never get them and even less will ever have a ‘nest’. They feed you full of clay and gel type fibre and then show you what comes out and it looks like nothing you’ve ever seen… guess what the only cure is – yes thats right another $100 ass wash next week.

    Unless you eat uncooked pork or certain kinds of raw fish (sushi grade stuff is fine) you have nothing to worry about

    See http://hubpages.com/hub/Colon_Cleanse_Scams, http://quackwatch.com/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.html

  37. bollywood_rocks83

    Thanks, Ms. Jennifer for making my skin crawl.

  38. OMG! This is the grossest LB posting ever! I have to share it amongst friends :-D

  39. cassie- i think you’re right. i didn’t even think about the possibility that jennifer is a cat or speaking for her cat or something. it would make sense because cats get worms and they are given deworming medicine. this makes me feel better. not any less grossed out though.

  40. So, I’ll admit, as grossed out as I was about Jennifer and that disgusting status (I am so grateful she’s not someone I know, I would never be able to look at them the same again) I was curious enough to good colon hydrotherapy.

    For those of you too lazy to google it yourselves:
    http://www.elementalembrace.com/colon_hydrotherapy.php

    Still not something to be putting in your status, worms nest or no worms nest.

    Ick. It’s going to be creepy me out all day.

  41. *creeping.

  42. I’m confused by Daniel’s post. A pizzaria that makes tattoos?? Wha…??

    What the hell is a hydrotherapy session?? Other than that I’m looking forward to the noodle dinner I’m gonna have in a few :) Yum.

    @28 cassie
    Ahahahaa :)

  43. Oh god… I just sat down to have dinner before work. Now I can’t eat. And I’m diabetic. Damn you Lamebook, for the inevitable hypo to come!

  44. How the fuck did she catch them in the first place, and enough for it to be classed as a “Nest”?!?!?!
    She truly is a mank.

  45. @39 hicki
    Thanks from a lazy ass :)

  46. OOh, bad choice of words I just realized.

  47. lol I wish I didn’t read these while I was eating.

  48. People can get worms too… Jennifer was probably excited as she saw her weight dropping and the toning of her thighs was going wonderfully… Her only concern since her trip to Mexico was an upset stomach… she figured it was just the water or ice or whatever, she didnt care… she had a date tonight.. as she tried on her clothes for the date she noticed a slight protrudement from her belly… she was baffled because she just had her period and hadnt slept with anyone since… so it couldnt be THAT… she’d have to step up her pilates workout to thursday nights as well

    sitting across from mccowles she cant help but smile… he was so warm, sweet and funny… he was telling a tale from his youth where a game of spin the bottle went wrong when he accidently sat across from chuck when her belly rumbled… she apologized quickly for interupting and excused herself… it was a struggle to keep it in as she hurried to the restroom as it felt like the rumble of a locomotive that was approaching

    she was squirting even as her ass approached the seat… this was no regualar shit… she needed to see the doctor

  49. they also have hook worms that can burrow into your foot when you are barefoot… they get all around your body

    http://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/diseases/hookworm.htm

  50. Worms are actually very common in America – but often go untreated. If you eat commercial pork products like bacon, hot dogs, ham, etc. regularly, you have undoubtedly ingested them at some point in your life. Simply do some Google research on the issue. You just have to get blood work done to see. Most people that live off eating processed foods with pork, often aren’t health conscious enough to go to the doctor and look into why they feel so drained.

  51. Holy shit, there should have been some kind of warning to NOT READ Jennifer’s status! YUCK!

  52. OMG MALTEASER HAS SPOKEN!!!

  53. Listen, party people. I’m a zoo keeper, and if anybody knows about zoonotic diseases and internal parasites, I’m your dude.

    In America, worms are in fact quite rare in humans. Our food and water supplies are among the cleanest and safest in the world. There is always a possibility for contracting worms or other internal parasites, but it is a very rare occurrence in the USA/Canada. You probably have ingested parasites at some point, but whether you ingested them in a form that is capable of infecting you is a different story. I.e., cooking kills them, so as long as you’re not eating raw pork you’re A-okay. Processed foods involve a lot of cooking during production and are generally parasite-free, too.

    If you feel drained, it’s not because you’re eating pork and are all full of worms. It’s because you are a lazy fuck who sits around all day. Get out and exercise. You’ll feel great.

    As for Jennifer, anybody who would post triumphant status updates about getting a hose stuck up their ass is obviously gullible and ready to believe anything. Colon hydrotherapy is a bunch of crap. Our colons do not trap years’ worth of accumulated waste that slowly poisons us. That was made up by people who want to scare you into paying them lots of money to stick hoses up your butt. If you believe that shit, then you deserve to shell out cash to have a pervert stick a hose up your butt.

    Jennifer takes a “parasite cleanse,” which is another way to part a fool from her money. These “colon cleanse” drinks and pills are usually full of gelatin and plant fibers, which, once ingested and then crapped our hosed out, create stringy, rubbery wads of black ickiness that look like a) parasites or b) years’ worth of accumulated toxic shit. You are getting what you pay the supplement companies for: The illusion that their magical fiber pills are removing nonexistent junk from your intestines. Undoubtedly, what Jennifer saw coming out of her hiney was the result of taking a product that was intended to trick her into thinking she can’t live without more of said product.

    You are MUCH more likely to get internal parasites from handling animal feces than from eating safe, clean North American food. Unless Jennifer juggles dung on a regular basis or romps barefoot through fields where animals have recently shat, she’s got nothing to worry about. And neither have you.

    Skepticism: It does a body good. And prevents you from being duped into paying for a hose stuck up your ass.

  54. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    hahahahahahaha slim! That was awesome! Wonder what mccowles did when she didn’t return from the bathroom… hmm…

  55. Wow, nice explanation TurkeyVulture

  56. BritishHobo , you can weep your heart out at these ones, i will even let you cry on my shoulder without feelink akward about it.

    Even my masculin testosteron filled body is shedding a tear after reading this

    ps turkey Vulture ftw for this little piece of infotainment

  57. And malteaser speaks again ? did they take you off your meds young one ?

  58. It is most likely tapeworm which is apparently quite common *gag*
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tapeworm_infection
    http://tinyurl.com/y2v74nb

  59. I think TurkeyVulture is the new Buzzkillington. I actually learned something! What the hell?

    jk, thanks TV, I will henceforth be unafraid to go back to eating hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  60. I have an extreme phobia of worms and other legless creatures.

    Give me spiders any day.

  61. Not out of my ass though.

  62. TurkeyVulture, I work in the medical industry and I’ve personally known a couple family members that have had parasites. The parasite supplement Jennifer mentions is not what you’re talking about. It’s not that over-the-counter colon cleansing bullshit. It’s an actual prescribed supplement that kills the parasites before you can finally flush them from the colon. I know about this because we have to prescribe it to hundreds of thousands of American missionaries that deal with worms ALL the time in other countries.

    And no offense, but you’re really talking out of your ass. Medical studies have shown that Pinworm has infected approximately 40 million Americans. Giardia infects approximately 2.5 million Americans each year. It’s VERY common in the United States. Simply ask your doctor next visit.

  63. Thank you, Turkey Vulture! I was seriously creeped out and was going, “Oh my god, could I have….?!”

  64. And then, damn you, RIZDRAVER. D:

  65. Just see how many people on average don’t wash their hands in the bathroom when you’re at work. It will shatter your “America is the cleanest bestest country in the world!1!” dream.

    Now think of the sweaty illegal immigrant that was handling your bacon in that 108 degree Texas slaughter house. : D

  66. I’m going with TurkeyVulture on this one! TV FTW!

  67. I’m amazed nobody made a Jolly Roger joke about the penis skeleton….consider that fault hereby corrected :)

  68. Apparently Taylor’s status is true according to one doctor:

    http://www.damninteresting.com/you-can-pick-your-doctor-and-you-can-pick-your-nose

    All this talk of diarrhea, boogers, and worms flying out of peoples’ butts has made me very sick to my stomach :/

  69. Chewbacca shagger

    Personally, this is a win… ” what Jennifer saw coming out of her hiney”. I have visions of Jen with her head resting on the seat of the bog to watch her “hiney”. It’s what we all do, isn’t it???

  70. I guess the jury is still out. Will need to do my own research after all :(

  71. thanks, now im scared that i have worms on my colon :p

  72. Jennifer is a fucking disgusting pig. That is one of the nastiest things I’ve ever read.

  73. gross,disgusting HIPPO!

  74. Jennifer, thats disgusting… and as far as pooping the sheets, what I would do is probably not drink as much.

  75. RingingInMyHead

    So, am I supposed to be afraid that I might have worms or not?! Don’t leave me in suspense, people!

  76. Ringing, I have one word for you if you’re concerned about worms…

    Combantrin.

  77. RIZDRAVER, so you “work in the medical industry” as one of those nurse’s assistant’s assistant’s assistant or something and got a degree from University of Phoenix? You don’t know jack shit, and TurkeyVulture is absolutely correct. Colonics are 100% bullshit and parasitic worms in the US are almost completely unheard of. When there are (very rare) cases of parasitic worms in the US, it almost always results from people in consistent contact with animals and animal waste or people traveling outside the US and then coming back to the US already infected with something. As TurkeyVulture explained, what Jennifer saw was not worms but more than likely just some funny looking shit that resulted from the weird supplements she was taking. Colonics are worthless and even dangerous–not only are you destroying your natural flora (good bacteria in your digestive system), but you’re also stripping the mucosal lining in your intestines, throwing off the pH balance/osmolarity in your intestines, AND risking intestinal puncture which can be DEADLY. Anyone claiming that you have years-old shit stuck in your intestines and built up toxins (1) wants your money and (2) is full of shit themselves and has absolutely failed at human physiology. Your body does a fine job of getting rid of its wastes. That’s why you have a liver, kidneys, a bunghole, and a urethra. When people see weird-shaped shit coming out during a colonic, that’s usually the intestinal lining and bits of shit all mixed together (and I would be absolutely horrified at the idea of someone flushing out the natural lining in my intestines). RingingInMyHead: don’t worry about it.

  78. So, where did you get your degree Merc?

  79. I love mercury125′s self-righteous indignation though with nothing new to add.

  80. WOW! The last one made me a little sick. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Jennifer obviously has foot to mouth disease.

  81. stargazeoo: Berkeley.

    KarmaTheDog: Suit yourself, but the latest comments seem to exhibit continued confusion about fear of parasites. Colonics and hollistic/alternative medicine is also admittedly one of my biggest pet peeves and I’m very outspoken against them, particularly because so many people believe so strongly in it and there is absolutely no present scientific research that supports the benefits of such.

  82. When I was a kid I had worms. The doctor gave me some pills and they went away. They gave me a paper about how one gets worms. The ones I had could be contracted from touching things people who had not washed their hands after the bathroom had touched. It said that I could have even breathed in eggs. A couple years later I had serious OCD. :/

  83. I want to “Like” Daniel’s status.

    I also feel like I need to get checked for worms. I’m never breathing in a bathroom again. Thanks, Aucella.

  84. Oh, and TurkeyVulture slightly lessened the chance of me having nightmares about worms.
    Anyone ever done that Turpentine on a raw pork chop experiment? It’s pretty grody. I haven’t eaten pork since 7th grade because of that experiment. Sad day. My mom made some kick awesome pork chops.

  85. mercury- Me too!! In true Berkeley fashion I’m sure you have some peer reviewed article facts about stomach parasites that you can share with the class. That should put people at ease.

  86. What Hunter should really be asking is ‘what would Jesus do?’

  87. Classy!

    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  88. Elixabeth, cut it out. You’re annoying. And you failed Inspiration 101.

  89. .

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