Thursday, July 30, 2009

Wanted: This Photo, Deleted

Wanted

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69 Comments

  1. Judging solely by her huge tits, I’d hit it.

  2. That’s exactly why you shouldn’t judge solely on huge tits.

    The shelf of teady bears behind her indicates a dangerously unbalanced personality. She’d probably superglue your dick to your stomach.

  3. I’m confused by the conflict between the clear theme of desperation/neediness that this picture represents and the conceited statement that indicates douchebagette-like “confidence”…

  4. That shirt is retarded. Do those really count as sleeves?

  5. I don’t know that the sleeves are the most retarded thing about that shirt. It’s a toss up between the slogan on the front, or the idiot wearing it.

    “Wanted: New Boyfriend” has to be the worst, most desperate thing I’ve ever seen on a T-shirt. She might as well walk up to people, start crying and beg them for sex.

  6. On the back is the rest of the classified ad.

    It reads:

    Large breasted blonde seeking pretty much any one who will put up with my shit. Turn ons include stuffed animals, Jonas Brothers, and dick in my mouth. Turn offs, well no turn offs because I’m desperate. If interested, honk boobs twice and wait for response.

  7. “She might as well walk up to people, start crying and beg them for sex.”

    What’s wrong with that?

  8. I just spent the best part of 5 minutes looking at her tits.

    I know it doesn’t say so on the photo, but I think she wants a new boyfriend.

  9. Come on, Sparky, you know better than that. Crying during sex is just disturbing.

  10. yeah see the decor in this space is horrid. It definitely makes her look creepy. considering shes probably an over-grown 14 year old who wants a BOIFUEN, was shopping with Mama and said “mama can i get dat shurt?” “sure baby but ya daddy is gunna have a real fit ya hear?, so it ain’t mah fault baby girl.” and then she decided well i just got this new shirt i’m gonna see if teddy will finally be my boyfriend! hence the lame type at the top with the gay color.

  11. “Wanted: New Boyfriend” implies that there was, at some point, an old boyfriend. I’m guessing he did the dumping.

  12. This picture just screams

    “i’m seventeen, a virgin, needy, clingy, desperate, and i like teddy bears”

  13. her boobs aren’t that big. mine are definitely better.

    does anyone know where i can buy that shirt?

  14. … some of the comments on lamebook should be posted up on lamebook

  15. Do they let minors get boob jobs? There is no way those are real!

  16. Hey, in case you only read the captions below the pictures, look up and notice… there’s another caption on the picture. And I love it.

  17. Ben: I’ve watched Reservoir Dogs twice in the last two weeks. Great reference.

    I determined that the juxtaposition of desperation for a boyfriend with its antithesis, self-confidence, is only half of why this photo’s so lame. The second aspect really hits it home: the horribly basic and nondescript font is inflated with pretension from the picture’s actual facebook caption. Boobs or not, this is lame beyond all measure.

  18. Jamie, what are you on about? I noticed no caption at the bottom of the picture. All I see are boobies.

  19. I spent a long time looking at the boobs, too, because something doesn’t add up. It must be an angle thing. The words aren’t stretched at all, there’s no slight pucker in the middle that you get by having two boobs with space in the middle, and you should be able to see either nipples or an edge to that highly structured bra. So… angle, right?

    Someone clear this up so I can stop staring at it like a magic 3D (pun definitely intended) picture.

  20. Cathy you just like boobs like the rest of us. Its OK.

  21. Cathy, she is probably wearing a sports bra. I have big boobs and i wear sports bras a lot…sports bras don’t leave a pucker in the middle.

  22. she’s wearing a bra. its just a little difficult to see.

  23. or GTFO.

  24. Back in the USSA:

    Dude, I think the picture is lame too, but you just used the words “juxtaposition” and “antithesis” in a comment accusing someone else of pretension.

  25. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I totally know/went to high school/used to be friends with this girl!!! Shes fucking insane like literally totally 100% certifiable wrote a letter in blood to someone!!! I kid you not…

  26. thatchicisscary

    whats her full name anon?

  27. The Man Who Stole The World

    I have big boobs also

  28. Lisa, don’t you think that USSA might have been taking the piss?

  29. Nothing like large breasts to get everyone to comment.

  30. Bob

    July 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    … some of the comments on lamebook should be posted up on lamebook

    __________

    Bob ftw.

  31. Are they actually that big?

  32. everyones going on about her boobs.
    if she’s this crazy and still has teddy bears, i wouldnt doubt she stuffed a few in her shirt.

  33. She didn’t stuff teddy bears down her top.

    She glued photos of her last boyfriend onto two teddy bears, and cut them up while singing Alanis Morrisette songs. She then took their heads, soaked in her own salty tears, and stuffed THOSE down her top.

  34. “… some of the comments on lamebook should be posted up on lamebook”

    But then a huge black hole will open up from the lamebook post the universe would collapse upon itself.

  35. Lisa, anyone who can pick up a Reservoir Dogs reference (back in da ussa) is alright. Let’s get back to the topic at hand, psycho’s boobs.

  36. I think the best part about this is that she actually tells you to look at her caption at the top. haha. ya . . . we get it.

  37. Stuffed bra.

    I just can’t decide if it’s stuffed with tissues or with her bad decisions.

  38. I submitted this, and can say this girl is 20, extremely desperate, has MAJOR acne, BAD TEETH, and looks like a troll. She posts pictures of herself and says “yeah…that’s me…with the nice ass…” and all sorts of repulsive sexual things. Well, not the acts themselves, more of “STOP IT I DON’T WANT TO IMAGINE YOU IN LINGERIE SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP”. Updates her status every day saying she’s horny and that her boss has told her she should model for Hustler.

    Extremely white trash, loves Russian vodka, is one of those mallgoths gone “preppy girl” but isn’t getting it right. Has a trampstamp of a bull. She talks like a man.

  39. So what you’re saying OP is, this girl is marriage material?

    I do like them trashy, and stupid.

  40. LOL, go for it, she knows you wished you had her, so go get her already! She IS looking for a boyfriend.

    Please do marry her, it would lessen the amount of status updates about being horny.

  41. Arms and legs inside the bus at all times, please.

    So OP, where are you located? I smell a lamebook field trip!

  42. “… some of the comments on lamebook should be posted up on lamebook”

    But then a huge black hole will open up from the lamebook post the universe would collapse upon itself.

    ————————————————————

    It’s turtles all the way down.

  43. judging her boobs, she looked pretty hot, and don’t know why she has no boyfriend. maybe she has gaping teeth.

  44. The boobage has to be fake because everything else looks like spaghetti noodles.

  45. Think it’s fake, because her boobs look so out of proportion with the rest of her body. Anyway anyone with that many teddy bears in a room that looks as though it belongs to a twelve-year-old either stuffed her shirt or got implants.

    Anybody notice how she’s hunching up her shoulders to make her chest more obvious?

  46. Teddy bears, desperate shirt (seriously, what’s up with the sleeves?) , picture while she’s on her bed …

  47. Yep wins.

  48. oh god.

    look at that hint of a baggy double-chin.

    *gag*

  49. Good effing lord. Can she be any more desperate?

    Anyone who needs to put text OVER their picture, when theres an option to caption it at the bottom… is fucking retarded and must be about 13 years old. Ugh. Did she do that in paint?

    Her brain probably matches the walls. Completely empty.

  50. at least she didn’t use Comic Sans, i’ll give her that.

  51. I think its because of her big boobs that make the sleeves weird, its kind of like dragging her down.
    Shell have back problems in a few years, and probably herpes if she keeps putting stuff like this up.

  52. yeah, i totally wish i could have that stuffed moose… i can take it, really? address plz?

  53. Wow… shes got big breastages! :D

  54. i would

  55. hahahaha i think this is my ex gf, her tits were not that big when we dated but she apparently did get fat(ter)

  56. DO NOT WANT.

  57. I would love your 5 year old play room too.

  58. mmmm, I love the smell of desperation in the morning!

  59. Her breasts look photoshoped.

  60. I’d hit that all day long… teddy bears watching, too.

  61. She loves her little caption at the top.

  62. Vincent Truman July 31st, 2009 at 10:58 am

    Bob

    July 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    … some of the comments on lamebook should be posted up on lamebook

    __________

    Bob ftw.

    __________

    This needed to be reiterated.

  63. Nice chest hams. I’d be her boyfriend for about two hours.

    “The money’s on the dresser, baby. I through with you.”

  64. Nice chest hams. I’d be her boyfriend… for about two hours.

    “The money’s on the dresser, baby. I through with you.”

  65. #23 ftw

  66. Fred, ur a sick bastard! funny, but sick :P

  67. If this is the girl I think it is I went to school with her. She has massive tits and a busted face. I have it on good authority one time at a party she put a Suave shampoo bottle up her hoo hah. If this isn’t Nicole Parkinson from Cromwell, OK, my bad.

  68. Just to be clear about that shirt. The sleeves are called “cap sleeves” and yes, they are lame. That style of sleeve can be found on any t-shirt bought at Walmart, Target or “I think I’m so effing wonderful” teeny-bopper mall store. But judging by the uber lame saying on it…I’m going to say this was probably a Walmart buy. And if she really is 20 and has stuffed animals displayed all over her room like that…that’s really kind of desperate and creepy. How does she expect any guy to feel comfortable fucking her with all those eyes looking at him?

  69. I am glad that other people also picked up on how stupid that shirt is. She probably got it at Walmart/Target or a store in a mall like Justice for $7.99, and she thought it was just the coolest thing! -_-

    She’s probably never had a real relationship, the shirt probably has a hole in it after 1 wash, and 3 years from now she will still be wearing it, along with ugly bedazzled jeans!

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