Friday, November 6, 2009

Twilight Saga: TwiLite

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134 Comments

  1. Even though her face is blurred out I can tell she is probably fat.

  2. edward is how old, 100 something? and he’s what, a virgin?!? once i got to that part in the book i had to stop. it seems the only people who truly believe love like edward’s exist and those who have yet to read any form of literature other than what hot topic and seventeen vomits at them.

  3. Wow silverblink, you really read far into the book before stopping.

  4. It’s a book?

  5. I find the Twilight books creepy.

    I mean, Edward is obviously a dirty old man with control issues.

    He keeps tabs on her. He’s ridiculously older than the girl. He tells her where she can and can’t go.

    If this was a real guy and not a vampire her friends would all be giving her numbers for a woman’s shelter.

  6. my girl asked me to be more like edward
    i told her vampiress are not real
    then i told her to make me a sandwich

  7. I laughed until it hurt, and then I laughed some more.

  8. I want to start a bromance with Justin so that his pwnliness rubs off on me somehow, then I can be almost as cool as Boz (the real one, not the imposters).

  9. Thanks Tristan, I appreciate it when people recognize me over my impostors.

  10. @56

    You’re fat.

  11. Chicks who dig Twilight are, statistically, 87.7% more likely to take a cock up the ass in order to protect their vaginal virginity.

  12. @103 i worked in a bookstore where parents were asking me if the series was appropriate for their 10 year old. i was also taking two young adult literature classes….lets just say i didn’t have a choice.

  13. jeez… you people are dramatic.. it’s actually quite funny to compare you people whining about disliking Twilight and the people whining about liking it.. 😉

  14. To all of you twilight haters: Its not real, get lives instead of moaning! Losers

  15. And to all you twilight lovers: It’s not real, get lives instead of moaning! Losers

    Fixed that up for you EB

  16. I’m afraid that nowhere in my comment did I imply that I love twilight

  17. I plan on reading Twilight thoroughly so I can defend my hate. YES my hate is ignorant because I haven’t read it. I don’t need to eat a piece of shit to know it will make me vomit. But it will make me more educated on how to explain to shit eaters that what they are eating is indeed crap.

  18. What would be funny is if you liked it.

  19. What IS it with fat chicks and Twilight.

  20. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  21. I mean I get that the whole trend is starting to get old, but shouldn’t people at least be happy that kids are reading and attempting to educate themselves, at least they will end up being smart fat chicks, ones that you will eventually call boss, and kiss their fat asses while you beg to keep your minimum wage job because you never took the time to open a book, not even one that has a grade 5 reading level… I dont think someones weight reallllyyyy has much to do with their reading preferences, when did this research take place? really when?

  22. In general, it’s good that kids are reading. However, the issue here isn’t that they’re poorly written or that the vampires sparkle – if that was all that was wrong with the books, I’d take the “At least kids are reading” stance, too.

    The problem is that not only do the idealised, romanticised leads give girls completely unrealistic expectations for relationships (just as porn gives boys unrealistic expectations for sex), these guys who every teenage girl are “SOOOO in love with!” also display creepy, manipulative, and potentially abusive traits. Seriously, go find a checklist of warning signs for future abuse, and try applying it to Edward or Jacob, then ask yourself if you’d want your daughter or sister or best girl friend dating that kind of guy. THAT is what’s wrong with Twilight.

  23. God forbid Teenage girls should have standards.

  24. @jenna: But they’re not healthy standards. The kind of behavior romanticized in the books– “I want to kill you, but I won’t, because I love you… You mean EVERYTHING to me… etc.”– and the sense of ownership on the part of the male lead over the female lead are behaviors that, in real life, would indicate a potentially abusive relationship. I used to volunteer at a women’s shelter and the kinds of cultural ideas that let women think abusive behavior in their husbands’/boyfriends’ is normal or acceptable (or even desirable and manly!) when it’s, well, abusive, is NOT harmless.

  25. oh, jesus christ. it’s a storybook vampire, not the wifebeater-clad, drunken, one-armed drummer of def leppard. calm fucking down.

    the issue here is less that Edward is some creepy, postmortem, much-hotter Ike Turner waiting to jump out of the coffin and give Bella a black eye. the issue is that if Twilight is a reminder of a cultural subtext that makes girls think it’s okay to be a possession to a man, or to accept abusive, creepy behavior from a man, then we have a lot more to worry about. like commercials and other forms of advertising, books they’re reading in school, and for god’s sakes, guess-the-flabby-female-celebrity-ass on the cover of the enquirer.

    i think it makes much more sense to teach our girls how to have high standards and expectations, a realistic self-view, and how to separate fantasy from reality. then we won’t need people taking the piss out of good, fun novels.

  26. reeedins fer suxers

    Amber, yes, but those books are not good.

  27. I LOLed.

  28. Perfect!!

  29. ….sneaking in your house to watch you sleep? yeah, men should learn manners from edward. twilight is so stupid.

  30. twilight is the reason that the abusive jock men like edward and jacob get all the ladies and the nice caring men like MJ are being ignored and called names. twilight can kiss my ass.

  31. Greyhero wishes that all the Twilight fangirls would figure out that Edward is a STALKER, and the relationship between him and Bella is the most unhealthy “romantic” relationship in all of fiction!

    Also? Vampires DO NOT SPARKLE!

  32. I work at a library after school and I’m seriously tempted to take the Twishite books we have and hide them. In a hole. In Timbuktu.

  33. @Najma Please do so, and replace them with the Harry potter books! That would easily do my year, THANKS!(:

  34. I just hate the “real vampires don’t sparkle” argument. Why? Because there are no such things as vampires- sparkly or otherwise.

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