Friday, July 9, 2010

Troubling Times

previous post: Jeeeez!

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61 Comments

  1. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    bwah

  2. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    WHAT?!?! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. WOW!

  4. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    btw, you can’t call the cops during a wedding, its the law, look it up

  5. king charles I

    Kristy’s overflowing compassion is breathtaking. I’m absolutely speechless.

  6. Amy sounds like a whorish sinner. Clearly she was so busy having unprotected sex with multiple partners that she contracted herpes. And I bet if she tests negative for herpes she will go out and have oral, anal and vaginal intercourse with multiple sexual partners

    Let us remember Ezekiel 23:20

    - There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

  7. Someone doesn’t know how to do a screen shot…

  8. HAHAHA! Dude used a camera to take a screenshot! Must be one of those that use that white corrector stuff on the computer screen.

  9. Big_Fuckin_Cock_All_Day

    @dan_fargis

    stop talking about me via bible verses

  10. How mediocre of Troll Fargis to quote Ezekiel 23:20.

  11. Weddings can get awfully rowdy. One wedding I went to ended with the fire department and several hundred flaming gnomes.

  12. SouthBeachTakeover

    Does anyone realize that a lot of the recent posts have been about herpes?

  13. “Blue balls” is indeed bullshit. Don’t believe any man who says you are required to have sex with him for this reason (or any other). If he has a medical need for an orgasm he can do it himself.

  14. Ohhh, poor Nicole… wonder how she found out the truth :D

  15. Unless he’s paid for dinner, flaps. Then you’re locked in.

  16. So it took being coerced by two ex-boyfriends to find out that blue balls aren’t actually blue in color? And this is why sex education should be compulsory for everyone in middle school/high school.

    And I seriously hope one of Amy’s friends simply accessed her facebook account by her blackberry and made that status up. Idiocy of that magnitude otherwise just seems unfathomable at times. This brings me back to earth and realize how dumb people truly are.

  17. Bulldog, what if he buys dessert too?

  18. Then he gets to videotape it, Katy. ;)

  19. Then it’s hummer time under the table at the restaurant.

  20. LOL @bulldog #1&

    that is hilarious!

  21. That was supposed to say #19.

  22. I quit. I can’t count.

  23. You’re right Bulldog, if there’s dinner involved the deal is sealed. My mama brought me up right!

  24. nicole sounds like she’s almost disappointed for not seeing a color-shift… Hoping for some magic trick, are we? Wait nine months darling!

  25. So where do you want to eat Ee? :)

  26. God, just two minutes to go from barricade to suicide? There’s some negotiation skills right there! I guess the entire dept. missed a few academy lessons about “communication under stressful situations” back in the day…
    Police FTW

  27. yelelow, I think the negotiator’s words were, “go ahead, do it. None of us out here think you’ve got the balls. We dare you!”

  28. if only they’re blue…

  29. katy, t-minus 20 min! Are you ready?

    Bulldog, I have to warn you, I feel as though I deserve the best. Pick me up and bring me to Subway!

  30. I envy you ee! Our work day goes till 5:30, so I’m at t-minus 40 minutes, but close enough!! Are we in the same time zone? I thought you were in the midwest for some reason?

    You’re on a roll today Bulldog! You keep making me “lol”… and my coworkers are probably beggining to wonder what is so funny… as the type of law I work in is miserable. So, if dessert = videotaping it… what does paying for dinner, dessert and a movie get you?

  31. @ SouthBeachTakeover, Yeah, I just realized that they are..Hmm

    Otherwise, great post :) Made me also realize that there are so many stupid people out there..

  32. poor Bobbi,
    She must know a lot of hicks to have to put that warning out there from the get go. She probably should have put that out on the wedding invitations too.

  33. ee! T-minus 6 minutes!! I’m out! Have a lovely weekend! You too Bulldog and everyone else! (Word, if you are still peeking on here, I think they fixed the usernames so come back – it’s been a long day without you :( )

  34. @Katypants and others – Unfortunately they have not, it just appears people have lost interest in hijacking at the moment.:(
    Also, that is not their only breach either. Some of you may remember the white screen pop-ups, and more recently pages of scripting, and if you look on the right hand side of the newest page you will see scripting errors. MAKE SURE you have your FIREWALL
    as well as your MALWARE and VIRUS PROTECTION ON! As you know I rarely use caps but not only have they had tracking cookie problems on and off since about the white screens I also got a really bad malware the other day from here called security suite. It completely hijacked my whole computer. :( If it happens too you go to another computer and google security suite malware and follow the instructions, if your computer savvy then call the geek squad as it is really a PITA.

    But so thats why I haven’t been arround much, even with my security tight, the name hijacking is pissing me off so…

    Anyways hi HB, Soup, EE, MCCOWELS, and WORD and others! :)

  35. @ slippyslappy

    the ones addressed in the post must be those kind of invitations that you HAVE TO do. My guess is that they don’t fall far enough from the tree to not consider “family”. Bunch of dunderheads that move in herds, assault the buffet table, get some “friendly” fighting started in the dance floor and, to top it all, “forgot”/”still looking for” the “wackiest” wedding gift.
    My advice? Bobbi should call the police squad that “got the job done” in Kristy’s ghetto, and sort it out outside the church before the ceremony even begins.

  36. okay, i’m not sure i get the blue balls one – does she really mean the COLOUR blue or is “blue balls” a slang expression for something that i don’t know? if someone could enlighten me, i’d be very grateful.

    oh and the kristy one, very compassionate indeed.

  37. #36

    really?!?

  38. Seriously..haha
    No they actually ment green balls..they just spelled it wrong
    and ofcourse they talk about the actual color!!

  39. *if you are not computer savvy…

  40. blue-ball condition:
    If, by any chance, the temperature falls down to quickly, the extremities of the human body begin to slowly become less and less oxygenated and start to show signs of hypoxia, turning slightly blue.
    Balls, not being a classic extremity, are external to the abdominal cavity, thus suffering as well from this patho-physiologic effect.

    My fair guess is that Nicole is in fact, part of an Eskimo crew, living in the Alaska or Greenland. Either that or an Eskimo took her to some restaurant, action that guarantees sexual intercourses of some sort later like bulldog, ee and katy said earlier.

  41. Krazy Eyez Killa

    Kristy: Someone threw themself under a train and now I’m late for pilates! Selfish motherfucker!

  42. Not to be disgusting, but I wonder what Nicole thinks blue waffles are…

  43. @whatthefargis “blue balls” is a fictitious condition of testicles when a man wants to have sex with you but you don’t let him. Men claim that once they have an erection, sex is obligatory, else it will cause them great testicular pain. In fact, most healthy men of that age get and lose erections many times a day, no problem. So yes, it’s a slang expression.

  44. … ah, when you’re a 16 yr old male, it’s more than a slang expression. My nuts would ache when my gf and I couldn’t ‘do stuff’ because her folks were home.. or whatever reason. Ache!

  45. ..and by ‘ache’ I mean they felt blue, but I would punch the clown on the bus ride home to remedy the situation.

  46. gracey nevr lets my balls get ta blue!!!!! keeps dem pink like they sposed ta b!!!!!

  47. danielle_fargis

    @mass, a few comments pages back you said you were in Ontario… Where abouts? I’m there too.

    @fakeyoink give it a rest?

  48. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Hmm.. I just saw that gunman one on the news.

    Mass, did you just imply that you knocked one out on the bus?
    I mean, I’ve been there… it really fucking hurts… but on the bus?!

  49. @danielle … 1/2 hr. north of Toronto

    @dietpill … I implied that, yes .. that is all. lol

  50. Mass, That is funny stuff right there. Not to mention I haven’t quite heard it put that way either.

    When you were done, you would hae something to put in the homeless man’s hand when he asked you to spare some change.

  51. porkchop_sundae

    park brake differential is weakening

  52. danielle_fargis

    @mass I’m 3.5 north of Toronto… I feel very close to you lol

  53. I have never had a problem with blue balls. I have however suffered many nicks on my wrinkled ball skin while shaving, sometimes so badly that my entire scrotum has been red. Once the blood soaked through my jeans and it looks like my uterus lining had shed. I had to wear a period pad for about a week. Yay for smooth pink nutsacks!!

  54. #6 doesn’t sound like the real Dan fargis.

    If Amy’s status is real, it’s pretty interesting. It’s reads like she will keep having unprotected sex with strangers until she gets an STD. And not having an STD yet justifies sleeping around.

    And it doesn’t read like somebody hijacked her facebook.

  55. Dan, please either move the plot on or stop. It’s still amusing for people who are new, but deeply tedious for the dedicated reader.

  56. Danielle and mass – I too am in ON – 45 mins north of Tdot :)

  57. dietpillpyramidscheme

    Blue balls are quite real. It’s more of a ‘coming close to coming’ that’ll do it. Not just a mere erection.

    There is NO COLOUR CHANGE, it’s merely a name.
    But it is very real, and very, VERY painful.

    Men: imagine every step you take is like getting sack-tapped. Not nice.

  58. at above – i wasn’t sure what you were talking about (also thinking literally of colour change). now i realise.

    it happens when you get prick-teased for like an hour but don’t come, and the semen gets backed up to your pineal. it’s one of the worst pains ever. where i live it’s referred to as ‘stone-ache’.

  59. The only blue balls I’ve ever seen were on my unrated DVD copy of Avatar.

  60. You obviously have never seen The Watchmen.

  61. what’s a weddin?? is that like a weeded garden?? “hey you kids get the hell out out of my weddin”!!!

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