Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Time to Split

previous post: Parents Say the Darndest Things

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76 Comments

  1. Rikki don’t lose that number.

    ….you know, the one for that doctor that does reverse lobotomies.

  2. Wait… wat on #2?

  3. Yeah, the second post… what the hell is going on there?

  4. Samantha and Dakoda are married. Samantha gets pregnant by someone else and is planning to marry him. Dakoda reminds Samantha that she first has to divorce him before she can get married to another guy. I’m assuming Dennis and Laura are Samantha’s parents. And I assume the father of the baby is Mike, based on his comments.

  5. Stever nailed it.

  6. Guys, the second one was on LB before…pretty sure it was.

  7. Sorry about your experience.

  8. stever, thanks. It sounds just like an episode of The Bold and The Beautiful. The only thing missing from this is people with names like Ridge and Thorne. Dakoda is a kooky name for a dude, though.

  9. I kind of hope Dakoda is a girl, because that’s when it gets epic.

  10. I have two friends (that I can remember) who have sons named Dakota. I have no idea why.

  11. i know a kid who’s name is pony… that’s almost as bad as dakota.

  12. I rather like the name, but have a rather eclectic background that also includes redneckery. Most of the Codys I know are actually Dakotas – though I also know a Dakoda who has a brother named Ocean. And that family is neither hippie, nor white trash, unlike the one in this post.

  13. Hey word remember when Ridge’s wife went missing? Turned out she was living on some beach playing house with some dolls she thought were her children. Ridge’s mom was whack too .. I always thought her husband was too handsome for her.

    Anyway, never heard of it.

  14. I have a pair of sneakers named pony .. but my mom never used my boobs to get out of a ticket.

  15. Brooke.. that’s it.

    Brooke was married to Ridge.

  16. Honestly, I’d rather be able to spell.

    White trash throwing their dirty laundry around Facebook to get attention is so common — but finding a righteously angry trailer trash wife who can spell is like stumbling across a unicorn.

  17. mass, she’s remarried Ridge about 5 times, I think. I don’t watch the fucking thing, but I’m sure that’s about right.

  18. Dakota actually is traditionally a boy name, although that’s a new spelling of it.

    CherryCola, I don’t think this specific one has been here before, but many like it. Lamebook may not need to fight Facebook anymore, through no fault of their own they’re soon going to be left with no original material so nothing to post.

  19. Brooke was the blonde one right? Who was the brunette? Didn’t she get memory loss once and end up living with a sultan or something like that…

  20. god michael is so stupid… they have hookers that are local

  21. mb, her name is Taylor. She looks like a freak now since all her plastic surgery. Fuck I sound like I know a heap about a show I don’t watch…

  22. Uh huh.

  23. its ok word… i’d still bone ya

  24. @ mass- i’m sure if your mom tried to use your boobs to get out of a ticket it would work! keep your chin up.. (and shoulders back!)

  25. Walter.. you’ve never jerked off to a Soap before? C’mon.

  26. ‘shoulders back’ .. point taken.

  27. I have this thing called the “internet” mass. You should google it and see what it can offer.

    Now if you meant “with” soap, that’s a different story.

  28. Walter, I like your link. It’s my least favourite Coen brothers movie, but I love Peter Stomare. He is awesome in everything he’s in.

  29. back when I was a kid we didnt have these internets to fap to or as we used to call it, rubbing one out… we had to use better home and gardens, daytime soaps and our spank bank… if you were lucky you could steal a nudie mag from your dad, friends dad or the store… but those would get taken away the moment an adult caught you with it… tough times back them

  30. No, I meant ‘Soap’ the popular sitcom of the 80′s …

  31. I always told my parents I was gay and my collection of Victoria’s Secret catalogues were research for my future career as an underwear designer.

  32. word – You seriously liked The Ladykillers more than The Big Lebowski?

  33. I used to get into my dad’s porn mag collection, too. No one uses mags any longer, do they? It’s kind of sad. Now instead of pages getting stuck together, guys have to be careful they don’t get their stuff all over the keyboard.

  34. _isglory, that is one I’ve not seen. I’ve heard shitty things about it, so I’ve not bothered.

  35. Okay, that makes sense. I, at the very least, enjoy all of their films. I just couldn’t fathom lumping Lebowski all the way at the bottom.

  36. My step-dad had playboys, lame! I used to steal them from my friends dad cuz he had the raunchy mags… I used mags for quite sometime (until I got off dailup)… I loved a mag called naughty neighbors… chics from all over would send in their pics… Every issue they had a bagger… they would insert a bag over the chics head and say that her body was rocking and her face would just ruin it… ahhh, memories… now I just type it ‘booty and pounded’ and I’m in fap heaven

  37. 28 is only acceptable if 1) you are a girl, and 2) you havent seen many coen brothers movies.

  38. Will mass ever get to nail word? Will Walter ever ever return Soup’s love? Will slimjayz stick around for more than a week this time? These questions, and many more, will be answered in the next episode of Lamebook.

    Oh, by the way: http://www.lamebook.com/feel-the-love-2/

  39. Soup – awesome observation.

  40. If Walter would lend me the airfare, Soup.

  41. Walter, if I’m a girl? What the? I’ve seen almost all of their films. No Country is probably my favourite. It’s all a matter of personal taste, right?

  42. Here, maybe this will help a little more, too.

    http://i1218.photobucket.com/albums/dd418/fragle_reptile/lamebook.jpg

  43. I think that offer was directed at the fake mass, mass.

  44. word, you like Barton Fink, the Hudsucker Proxy, and Miller’s crossing better than the big lebowski?

  45. Walter, you’re being very un-Dude.

  46. Miller’s crossing is in my top 3. I love it. Personal taste.

  47. Because I only think that’s possible if you have a distinct lack of immaturity, that immaturity being more prevalent in the male species.

  48. Am I wrong?

  49. You’re not wrong Walter, you’re just an idiot.

  50. I am the walrus.

  51. Don’t make me make you change your name again.

  52. ugh… i cant believe talk about movies is taking over instead of porn talk… movies are overrated time wasters… 3 hours of your life flushed so you can laugh at one or two scenes and then bitch about the effect to coworkers… fk movies

  53. There was porn in The Big Lebowski.

    Log Jammin’

  54. To be honest, I haven’t seen many of the recent coen brothers movies. Life and lamebook take over.

  55. Then, Jackie Treehorn slipped the Dude a roofie, and there were some girls bouncing on trampolines, topless. Oh, oh, but before that, he scribbled a penis on a post-it note pad.

  56. For the record, this is all appropriate because it was proven that this Lamebook “update” was a sham.

    Continue.

  57. Raising Arizona is the greatest Coen Brothers movie.

    If you disagree, you are simply wrong. That could be its own short and easy to follow flowchart.

  58. Walter, you should check out Burn After Reading. Brad Pitt actually does some great acting in that one. I really liked A Serious Man, too. A lot of people didn’t.

  59. Sorry I lied, I only havent seen no country for old men, the man who wasn’t there, and blood simple.

  60. A Serious Man was brilliant.

  61. So is The Man Who Wasn’t There.

  62. So is The Big Lebowski….

  63. Well dudes, once again I haven’t done any work today. That’s ok. But it’s lunchtime.

  64. *wonders what Walter will have for lunch*

  65. So, in this “As the Lamebook Turns” universe we’re creating, is uberusername man everyone’s evil twin?

  66. @58
    I and everyone I know completely hated that movie, I know critics all gave it good ratings but I just don’t find anything funny in that movie. Now before you go and say I can’t appreciate a higher level of comedy with deeper meaning- keep in mind there is a dildo-fuck machine in that movie.

  67. Raising Arizona must be their best movie; the recent ones SUCKED

  68.  I went with a lady friend and we had a tasting plate for 2: marinated octopus salad; Thai fish cakes with nam jim sauce; lentil dahl with poppadoms; chicken, sesame & nori rolls; fig, goats cheese & rocket salad; beef & burgundy pies; grilled chorizo skewers with pickled peppers.

    Just kidding. I went to In and Out Burger by myself.

  69. So jumping in here real quick…I think Dakoda is a chick and the divorce thing is a joke. I know plenty of people who joke about being married to their female friends. (Myself included). Just an observation.

  70. Hawky, it sure is atop tune, init?

    Love Raising Arizona, too, but it ain’t their best. Screw it. This argument could go on forever. Best we stick with our own personal views, and leave it at that.

    blonde, hmmm, interesting observation, but more for the idea that they could be lessies, like stever #9 implied. That indeed, would make it epic.

  71. Fuck me, Hawky, I’m off my rocker. I’m know you mentioned my link somewhere, just not on this post, haha. Oh well, 2 birds, 1 stone, hey?

  72. While number 1 is quite lame, I’m extremely tired of people fraping their exes with whatever horrible thing they did. Why can’t they just be old-fashioned and go on Maury?

  73. Word, fair enough, makes for a better story anyways. In my favored version she went lesbo and married Dakoda, decided she was never really a lesbo and it was all to get back at her parents, in celebration effs what’s his face sans protection and never got the divorce and may or may not still be a lesbo. Oh, and she has a cat named Pocahontas. There’s that too.

  74. I am sorry but the first one is fake, its not even the correct facebook font. Shame on you submitter. Shame. On. You.

  75. Samantha pregnant post
    last 3 posts
    25 minutes ago
    21 minutes ago
    22 minutes ago
    how does that work?????

  76. @word I just know any movie that has my shitty couch in it must blow my mind

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