Friday, August 27, 2010

This Bites

previous post: The Terrible Type

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59 Comments

  1. Gross. Just gross.

  2. Nothing better than a nice cup o’ blood tea before a steamy night in the bedroom.

  3. teeda, totally agree! I hope that married couple lasts about 2 years and then have to explain the bite mark tattoo on their wrist when they are at the bar trying to pick up. At least they have a conversation starter!

  4. A tattoo of a bite mark just looks like a horribly infected bite mark that’s resulted in decaying flesh. Sexy.

  5. That’s just fucking sick, Kay. I think your tea is more likely to make a man puke his guts out then fall in love with you . . .

  6. Bet Lipton’s leaves that recipe the fuck alone.

  7. By the size of his tattoo, her mouth looks huge; guess that’s why he married her.

    Tampon tea? GROSS!

  8. Bite mark tattoos? Really? I bet they thought they would be really original, because no one tattoos bite marks, I guess they never really thought there was a reason for that. It looks stupid as hell (and very badly done)

    Tampon blood tea… I bet women in Italy never did this. What the hell is wrong with women eating stuff that comes out of their snatch, really. It was placenta before and now it’s bloody tampons?

  9. OMFG! That is the shit my wife has been serving me for the last 12 years? I always wondered why she only made it once a month. FML.

  10. I’m sure the bite marks have something to do with the ever rising zombie craze

  11. Who's That Girl?

    If I bite you, it doesn’t need to be tatooed to be permanent. Whusses.

  12. Comments, you’re my Italian Stallion, so can you enlighten me? Do Italian women do that?

  13. dirtylittlepretty

    I wonder where here ‘splooge stain’ tattoo is ..

  14. Am I right in assuming that most of these people who get each other’s names or bite marks or faces or genetalia or social security numbers tattooed on their body do so because they’re too cowardly to question what might happen in ten, fifteen years time when frustrated with a lack of communication and intimacy in their marriage, one of them winds up staying late at work, tired, unhappy and miserable, and ends up going just a LITTLE too far with that hot coworker they’ve been trying not to think about for months out of guilt, and winds up single and homeless, spending their nights in dingy bars having to explain the fact that they’ve got somebody’s name etc tattooed on them because they were too cowardly to question what might happen in ten, fifteen years time?

    tl;dr, people should think more before they get tattoos.

  15. Well, you did fall in love with her though, right sideshow? A perfect example of it working. Now go and get your man Kay! Also, remember that cum is good for the skin, so be sure to give lots of bj’s! It’s double effective combined with your bloody tea. Don’t forget to eat your placenta as well once you have his baby, strictly for the health benefits.

    I thought those “tattoos” were real bite marks at first and they got stitches… Nasty looking either way, but a real bite means a whole lot more. Pain for pleasure anybody?

  16. dirtylittlepretty

    my pain ..your pleasure…ahhh what a lovely idea.
    i recieve pleasure from your enjoyment of my pain.

  17. First meal my now wife ever made me was Spaghetti. FML.

  18. @purebs…quite a conversation starter when you factor in what Leebo said about the size of his tattoo. lol

    @BritishHobo….ummm….that’s a pretty picture. lol

  19. Yes. I did fall in love with her. But I thought it was only because she was a cum guzzling slut.

    “Lucy! You have sum splaining too doo!”

  20. @word

    I’m Chicago Italian, not mainland so its possibly an old world thing, however I have NEVER heard such a thing before. I highly doubt that’s the kind of thing I would have heard about and forgotten either…

  21. Is it funnier if Kay wanted Will to fall in love with her?

  22. I’ve heard of a lot of awful bodily fluid cuisine intended to make your man stay forever, but never tampon tea. Methinks Kay made it up.

  23. Who's That Girl?

    I’m not Italian, but I have an Italian last name, so that counts. Everyone in Italy knows that if you want a man to fall in love with you, you stick a finger in the ass while giving head. Duh.

  24. @Who’sThatGirl..I bet there are loads of guys who have heard that one. lol

  25. EEEWW!!!

    I’m from Italy and I’m offended by this rumour. Of course Italian women don’t do that, do you ask?? :(

    Sounds like some crazy witchcraft. I hope nobody does it really.

  26. I think Kay was just listening to the voices in her head, iheartgillian. It’s a load of rubbish.

  27. dirtylittlepretty

    iheartgillian, why are you on this website if you are SO easily offended?
    I mean come on! This place is full of offensive shit.

    love always, dirtylittlepretty

  28. dirtylittlepretty, I like offensive-funny. But to think some do wonder if that shit is true is usettling, that’s all.

  29. dirtylittlepretty

    unsettling? definitely, but there is so much weird shit in this world…I wouldn’t have been surprised either way honestly.

  30. Groooss! I’m italian and never heard of stuff like that.

    Those “bitemarks” look disgusting.

  31. Comments, ok. In my mind, I’ve always secretly hoped you were New Jersey or New York Italian. I have an obsession with The Sopranos and anything Mafia-related… Chicago Mafia, perhaps?

    It doesn’t matter if you’re not. You’re still my wise guy.

  32. I know a girl who could get some pretty kinky toys dlp, it will be loads of fun. You may need to take some time off work though.

  33. I’ve heard all kind of crazy stuff about Italy and Italians, you know, and people on the net seem to really believe it.

    So:
    people normally don’t belong to crime organizations
    we do work – office hours 9-6
    men don’t kiss other men on the lips
    men don’t shout “Ciao bella” at women all the time
    it’s not right to be sexist, despite some politicians’ behaviour…
    and i could go on.
    :)

  34. dirtylittlepretty, maybe some weirdo does it… but a (sort of) national tradition??

  35. Ooh are we listing stereotypes now? I’m always up for a game :D

  36. Wordyperv, sorry not NY or NJ Italian – though I can throw the accent on pretty well ;) As far as Chicago Mafia goes… I have a couple cousins who have well-paying, unspecified jobs with older Italian gentlemen so you could say I know a guy who knows a guy.

    If I’m your wise guy, that’d make you my Moll :)

  37. Comments, I can live with that.

  38. someone needs to tell kay that shes been lied to. i wonder how real that post is but it wouldnt really surprise me if shes serious.

  39. OMG!! i WAS enjoying a nice hot cup of Dilmah over breakfast….. i’ll never look at another tea-bag the same way……..

  40. Facebook proves that God missed a few when smiting.

  41. dirtylittlepretty

    i know a girl who can get some pretty kinky toys also ;)

  42. @the tampon post – Yuck. I puked. Damn bitch, musta had a lobotomy that went ‘way’ wrong.

    Yuck.

    Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

  43. I think she should apologise to Italy… and never be allowed in a kitchen.

    @BritishHobo – I guess you and BristishHoboette do not have any of those type tattoos then? Which is good and means I can lol without wondering about that rant =P

  44. Yeah! Stereotypes game.
    I forgot: we do shower! Twice a day in summer. You know… extreme heat?

    I remembered a joke…
    A vampire enters a bar and asks for a teapot full of hot water. “But no teabag please.” The waiter is puzzled but brings the teapot anyway. The vampire produces a used tampon and puts it in the water! :P
    Maybe this is what inspired her.

  45. I’m sure some sick beeyotch somewhere has done the tampon in the teacup thing. Google tells us this: http://www.luckymojo.com/bodyfluids.html and that’s just the first link from a search for “menstrual blood love spell.” However, I’m going to feel better pretending our friend Kay here is making a sick joke.

  46. my friend made me watch a movie on netflix last weekend called anatomy of hell- the chic in the movie (it was italian) dipped a used tampon in a glass of water and then she and the guy she was trying to seduce drank it- nastiest thing i have ever seen!!!

  47. @forgetaboutchuck : This movie is french, not italian.

  48. @wednesdays link
    “I have directly fed gobbets of menstruum to my lover, from my fingers, as one might feed a pet.”
    I feel like a little piece of me has buckled in horror and dropped dead.

  49. “In European — especially Italian — folk magic, as well as in hoodoo, urine is used in women’s coffee and tea love spells, as a quick substitute for menstrual blood, when the intention is to tie or bind a lover. This is particularly common among girls to young or women too old to have menstrual periods, and among pregnant women and those who for any other reason don;t menstruate. Men also can put urine in a drink to tie a woman, although this is not mentioned so commonly.”

    Freaking italians.

  50. @ xenaphobia – I wouldn’t trust any source that can’t spell “too”correctly (e.g., “this is particularly common among girls to young to have menstrual periods”.)

    Comments at Large – #6 was hilarious.

  51. @Morrigan: Good catch, knew something looked sketchy about it but couldn’t put my finger on it.

  52. random and a double post but: Way to go american apparel. Taking a hot chick, putting her in a plaid shirt that’s mostly unbottoned, but give her MASSIVE glasses to throw it all off and make me feel confused.

  53. who would even think of getting A tatoo of a bite mark on there wrists? … I would only think a die hard hardcore twilight fan would do that .. not a couple getting married?

  54. You should see the tattoos in real life… When they hold hands, it looks really good.
    Their relationship is long distance, and they got them because:
    a) It looks REAALLY good.
    b) When they hold hands, they are positioned to look like one mouth.
    c) Yes, those are their teeth. They made the impressions and got them drawn out.
    d) When they are apart, they have something of the other close to them.
    e) It is an original idea.

    BTW, it has nothing to do with Twilight, Zombies ect. Those are simply tattoos… Just to clear stuff up. Thanks guys :)

  55. nanners, how do you know the people in this post?

  56. Yea, I do.
    I saw them the day they got those,
    and I was at the wedding.

  57. I know Amanda from school, and Justin because I know Amanda.

  58. I’m sorry, I don’t believe that they’re not Twilight-related. I just don’t. Who on earth would wake up on day and think, totally randomly, “You know what would be cool? A tattoo of your bitemark on my wrist!” I don’t buy it at all.

  59. I know for a fact that they are not twilight related. If any thing, they are zombie bites. The guy in the photo saw a gangster-style “kiss mark” tattoo, and thought that it would be more original and relative to there relation ship for bite marks, since they are both Horror movie fans. These two have been together for almost three years and they live 1200 miles apart, across borders. I know trolls will be trolls, and I find all of the post hilarious, but you shouldn’t assume that these are apart of tween-pop-culture just because some middle-aged Mormon with little to no writing skills published some teen-fic. You assuming that would be like calling some one a Justin Bieber fan for saying “Baby”. Fuck 2010. I’m out.

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