how can these people sincerely consider themselves to be vampires? i mean seriously if someone asked me to prick my finger so they could drink my blood i’d tell them to shut the fuck up and constantly bash their head into the wall until they realize how fuckin stupid they are
But they’re so unique. Just like all the other “retarts” who think they’re vampires. Oh for fucks sake, I can’t wait for these stupid “I’m a vampire”, “I’m a werewolf” trends to end. Idiots. I hope their iphones sterilize them.
You know what? I’m a chupacabra, motherfuckers. I will eat your face and suck the blood of all your goats so your village starves. Fear me, ’cause I’m a scary made up creature now, too. It is decided.
True that, Comments. Chupa clearly beats vamp and were, because those idiots keep getting caught out in public. No one has ever captured my magical goat sucker! Plus, even a made-up creature can spell better than these morons, so bonus points there.
Oh, wait… Now I’m transformed to kraken! I’ll drag you all into my sensual watery depths. Don’t worry that you can’t breathe. It’s not psycho; it’s romaaaaaantic that I want to make you my own.
Guys, I’ve been hiding this from you all but I am actually the mythical centaur! Although it may appear I ride a mere steed of broom with paper mache; it is in fact my lower torso! I spend my days riding around seeing shit in the stars and then returning to tell everyone about it on facebook…Even though I may appear to be a socially inept loser with no athletic strengths, If you challenge me I will…er…centaur stomp you mere mortal! Now I must ride! I have important centaur things to do! I also enjoy my chemical romance and long walks on the beach if any lady vampires are interested…? you know what they say about horses down there!
I love how at the start she says don’t judge me and then later says you only get one chance to make a first impression with her (just kidding). One day, if she has half a brain, she will cringe at her 17-year-old self.